Dream
I jolted up as I was shocked out of my sleep. I have this recurring dream that’s almost too real. I’m lucky Octavia didn’t wake up, but it’s been happening so often I think she’s gotten used to it. I need to clear my head and think about it. It always seems way too real and I’m always glad to learn it was just a dream. I gently kiss Octavia on the forehead and walked into the living room.
**********
I couldn’t tell if the water running down my face was from the rain or my own tears. I guess it didn’t really matter. I would have cry every time I come here. I don’t know why I come here every week. Maybe it’s because I’m not willing to let go of the past. I just haven’t been the same since Octavia died.
Her mother had the same gene that caused the genetic disease that afflicted her father. It mutated in Octavia and she became the first mare to test positive. The Doctor and anypony willing to help worked night and day to find a cure. They found it a day too late. I wish there was something I could have done to help her instead of watching her die. Lucky for us, the gene didn’t pass to any of our children.
Nothing has been the same since that day. I started to feel more and more alone with very little number of ponies to turn to. Vinyl said she couldn’t live in Canterlot anymore. Everything reminded her about her best friend and she just needed to get away. She and Bright are living in Baltimare, expecting their first kid. Shining and Cadence have been extremely busy in the Crystal Empire. Every time they make plans to come visit, something gets in the way. I haven’t seen them in nine months. Spitfire hasn’t been free either. The Wonderbolts got way more popular than any pony expected. They couldn’t keep their base in Canterlot, so they moved to Cloudsdale. My kids have grown up too. Mystery is about to leave for Manehatten to attend their prestigious music academy. Ebony is about to join the Lunar Guard, so I guess I’ll see him before I leave every day. Silver is the only one staying home, but she’s only twelve.
My mom has been trying to help me through all of this. Because she is immortal, she has made many friends that have died. She wasn’t too much help, however. I didn’t just lose a friend or a wife, I lost my best friend and the family I grew up with. Soon, I’ll be alone.
Mystery hugged me as she started crying over her mother’s grave. The two of them were always close, closer than she was with me. Octy helped Mystery with her first concert and her first crush. She was there when her coltfriend broke up with her and when she lost prom queen. Octy and Mystery had a perfect relationship. When her mother died, I wondered how she would handle it. Turns out, no better than me.
“I wish she was still here,” Mystery said as through her sobs. “I wish Auntie Vinyl was still around and our family was whole.”
“I know, sweetie,” I said hugging her back. “I do too.”
“Why did it have to be her? Why couldn’t have been some mare who was awful to her children?”
“Sometimes I wonder that too,” I said “We should go. I don’t think it’s good for either of us to stay here.”
We both placed a rose on Octy’s grave and started walking home. I thought about everything that was about to happen. My little girl was about to move away, my buddy is about to join the Lunar Guard, and my little baby is growing up. I don’t know what Silver is going to do. Her brother and sister are her closest friends, and they are moving on. I don’t even know how I can raise her by myself. Usually, Mystery and Ebony would pick her up after school and the three of them would do whatever until I got home. Maybe I could ask somepony to help me so I could go home to spend time with my daughter.
We walked into the house and was greeted by Skyla, who was watching Silver while Mystery and I were away and Ebony was sleeping. While Cadence and Shining couldn’t make it down, Skyla would come down to Canterlot whenever she could. She says she comes here for “princess training”, but something tells me there was something more.
“How was your walk?” Skyla asked.
“It was…fine. I was just happy to spend some time with my daughter before she left. Where’s Silver?”
“She’s sleeping in her room. We played for a few hours, I made her lunch, and she feel asleep.”
“She did always like sleeping in the rain. What about Ebony?”
“I think he got up once to get some water or something. Other than that, he’s been sleeping. Uncle Golden, can I ask you something?”
“What is it?” I said taking a seat on the couch.
“Well, my mom really wants me to become a princess and she wants me to stay in Canterlot so I can train with Auntie Celestia, but I don’t like staying in the castle. Can I…stay here? I promise I won’t make a mess or run up the water bill or anything.”
“Of course you can stay here. You know you’re always welcome in our…my house.”
“Can I ask you something else?”
“Anything.”
“What do you do if you really like somepony, but you’re not sure that pony likes you back and you’re way too scared to say anything because he either thinks of you as a friend or you’re too afraid you’re going to lose them as a friend.”
“Do you know how Octavia and I met?”
“Yeah, you two, my parents, and Auntie Vinyl met in the first grade and you’ve been friends ever since.”
“Freshman year of high school, Octavia and I made a deal. We weren’t going to date each other because we were extremely close. If things went wrong with us, then we would have lost one of the most important relationships we have ever made and we really didn’t want to risk that. Well that, and I became insecure when I kissed a mare while dating a different mare. Anyway, we started dating when we realized it was stupid to try and resist our attraction to each other, regardless of our fears. I guess what I’m saying, is that sometimes you have to take that chance.”
“But what if he thinks I’m weird because I want to be with him and he doesn’t want to be with me?”
“Trust me, he was raised better.”
“You know I’m talking about Ebony don’t you?”
“I thought as much.”
“Am I that obvious?”
“No, I just learned a few things from your mom. Look, if you kids like each other, there’s nothing any pony can do about it. If there’s one piece of advice I could give you, it’s don’t be afraid. I wasn’t…”
I thought back to our first kiss and how magical it was. I thought about how that morning when we woke up in bed together for the first time and how I never wanted the moment to end. I started crying, knowing that I will never have those moments again.
“I’ll leave you alone,” Skyla said. “I should write to my mom and ask her to send me a few things.”
I didn’t want to be alone, but what could I do? Two of my children are sleeping and Mystery is busy packing. Maybe I could help Mystery pack. I went to her room and knocked on her door before I entered. Mystery was on the floor looking through a box.
“What do you have there, sweetie?” I asked as I took a seat next to her. The box was all of everything Octy loved.
“Don’t get mad,” she said. “I wanted to take something to Manehatten that reminds me of mom, so I went into your room and I found this box. What are these?”
“This is everything your mother held dear.”
“She held a broken cello bow dear?”
“That’s from the night I proposed. Your mother was playing at the Grand Galloping Gala and my plan was to get on stage and propose to her in front of everypony. Unfortunately, Twilight’s friends had bigger plans that went terribly wrong. Long story short, the animals in the castle gardens ended up in the ball room. I saw an animal charge your mother and I saved her. I proposed to her when it was safe.”
“Did you do it with this ring?”
“No I used that ring to ask her to prom. That ring was actually meant for this dumb thing that actually helped me and your mother get together. You know how my mom made me and Auntie Cadence do a whole suitor thing, well this was the ring I was supposed to use to propose. Instead I used it to ask your mother to prom.”
“Hey, here’s mom’s bow tie,” Mystery said as she pulled the untied bow tie out of the box.
“Did I ever told you what this meant to her?”
“Yeah, but I like to hear the story.”
“I gave this to your mother on the night of her first solo concert. She was more nervous than you were and she even considered canceling it. I told her that no pony else mattered and she did a fantastic job if I loved it. I gave her this so she could always remember that. After that concert, she continued to carry it around to give her courage. She loved this thing…”
I remembered that night and thought about how stupid I was. If I could, I would go back in time and kiss Octy right there. I would tell her that we would one day get married and live in our dream house. We would have three beautiful children who loved us. She could play her beautiful music whenever she like. I would tell her how much I loved her and never let her forget. I would treasure ever second we had together.
“Look. Dad, I can put the box back and take my pictures-”
“No,” I said. “Take the box with you. Your mother would want you to have it.”
“Even the bow tie?”
“This bow tie, meant the world to your mom. If the house was on fire and she could only grab one thing, it would be this. It reminded her how much I cared about her and told her that no matter what happens, I will be there for her. I want you to take it and remember the same thing. No matter what happens to you, what decisions you make, I will always be there for you.”
“I love you, dad,” she said wiping her tears away.
“I love you too.” I hugged Mystery and left her to pack.
I had to stay strong for my kids. Although I would love for them to stay here, I couldn’t forgive myself if they gave up their dreams just to make me happy. I need them to think I would be okay by myself. I just need to hold it together for a few more days.
I headed to the kitchen to start making dinner. I used to love making dinner with my family and I don’t mean just my wife and kids. I remember one Hearth’s Warming Eve where everypony in the house tried to help with the dinner. It was a literal case of too many chefs in the kitchen. Nothing was getting done and Bright eventually had to kick everypony out of the kitchen, with the exception of Octy and I as it was our house. That night was one of the best nights of my life. Now, making dinner just reminds me of all the nights we won’t spend together.
I need to stay strong.
Tonight, it was all of Ebony’s favorites. Lucky for me, he was a simple colt and would have been happy for a frozen pizza, but that wasn’t good enough for his last dinner before he goes into training. When I finished I called the girls to the table and went to wake up my son. He is a heavy sleeper, but being a unicorn means I have access to some pretty loud spells.
“Time to get up, buddy,” I shouted.
“What time is it?” Ebony asked half-awake.
“Time for your last meal as a free man. I made your favorites.” I said.
Unlike his sisters, Ebony was slow to wake up. He was a bit groggy for the first few minutes, he has plenty of energy after that. I remember one Hearth’s Warming when Mystery tried waking everypony so we could open presents. She spent at least twenty minutes trying to wake up he brother, but he had just as much energy as she did once he was up.
The kids helped me set the table and bring out the food. At dinner, they talked about all sorts of pop culture. I tried my best to keep up, but most of that didn’t really interest me. She would tell all sorts of things so I wouldn’t embarrass myself at parties. I would usually forget what she told me the next day, but she would talk with such passion and I couldn’t help but to listen. Since she passed, I’ve been almost completely ignorant about things outside of Canterlot. I would only really keep up with Spitfire and Vinyl just to see how my best friends are doing.
The kids quickly switched topics when they realized I wasn’t contributing much. They asked about what Ebony could expect and how hard training was going to be. I couldn’t tell them anything because Night made me promise. He told me that he has something special planned for him.
I was grateful that my kids wanted me involved in the conversation, but they didn’t seem to be interested in things they were. I could easily talk to Mystery about books, Ebony about some sports, and I love playing pretend with Silver, and I Skyla and I always find something to talk about, but I can’t really talk to them as a group. I excused myself from the table to get a few last things before he leaves. Mainly a few things to remind him his parents love him.
The time eventually came to walk Ebony to the castle. We tried to stall as long as we could, but being late would only mean more trouble for him. The five of us walked to the empty streets of the castle in almost complete silence. Silver was trying to make the best of her time with her brother by making him slime with some jokes I’m sure he’s heard before. He laughed anyway because he was a good big brother.
We reached the castle where Nightingale was waiting for the new recruits.
“Say your goodbyes now,” my brother said. “This will be the last time you’ll see your family for a few months.
Ebony turned to us and smiled. I’ve been in his position before and now I know how Octy felt when she was saying goodbye to me. I felt an overwhelming feeling of pride as I watched him say goodbye to his sister.
“Bye Silver,” he said. “I want you to be the best little filly you can for dad. He’s going to need you more than ever because he won’t have your awesome big brother around.”
“I’ll be as awesome as you are, maybe even more!”
“Let’s not get ahead of ourselves now,” Ebony said with a chuckle. “Mystery, when you make it big in Manehatten, don’t forget me.”
“And when you’re some big shot guard who saves the princess’s life, don’t forget me.” The twins laughed at each other’s joke and hugged each other tight.
“So…I guess I’ll see you when I get out…” He said to Skyla.
“Yeah…I guess so…” She responded. The two were trying to avoid eye contact and blushing.
“She like you,” Silver blurted out.
“Silver!” Mystery said in a scolding tone.
“Well she does.”
“Do you…really lie-” Skyla grabbed my son by his collar and pulled him into a deep and passionate kiss. I smiled as it reminded me of my first kiss with Octy and how magical it was.
“I might really like you,” Skyla said after they broke their kiss.
“And I might really like you,” He said with a smile. The two of them were lost in a trance until Nightingale broke them out of it.
“Right, sorry,” Ebony said. “Dad, I hope I can do you proud and be as great as you someday.”
“Ebony, you are probably already greater than me. I know if your mother was here, she would be even more proud of you. I can’t wait until we get to work together.”
“I love you, dad.” He said as he hugged me.
“I love you too.”
Nightingale patted Ebony on the back and the two of them went into the castle. I told the girls to go ahead because I needed a minute. I was alone in the dark. My son was in someone else hands, my oldest daughter was leaving in two days, and my youngest is a social butterfly and rarely spends time at home. My best friends are far away, I can’t connect with my mom anymore, and my wife is gone. I am alone.
I felt a hand on my shoulder. I turned around to see Octy, looking as beautiful as ever. I wanted to hug her and tell her that I never want to spend another second without her. But I couldn’t.
No matter how much I tried, I couldn’t move. All I could do was stand there and watch her fade away.
It doesn’t matter how strong I am.
**********
I walked around my house, trying to find some way to calm down. I haven’t really found a good way to do it, but reading seems to help. Lucky for me, there are plenty of books for me to go through. It has been taking longer and longer for me to go back to sleep, but whatever it takes to so Octavia doesn’t have to worry.
“Golden,” Octavia said as she entered the study. “Are you alright?”
“I’m fine. Go back to bed, sweetie.”
“Please, Golden. I know you’ve been coming down here every night. You can’t be catching up on your reading. Please if something’s wrong I want to help.”
“Octy,” I said with a sigh, “I don’t want my problems to become your problems. I’m taking care of it, so please just go back to sleep.”
“When we got married, I vowed to be with you no matter what. Your problems are my problems and I wouldn’t have it any other way. Please, just tell me what’s wrong. I want to help.”
“I’ve been having a nightmare where you…die. I’m afraid I’m nothing without you and I would have no one. Our kids would move on with their lives and our friends would leave. Most of all, I’m afraid of a life without you.”
“What can I do to help?”
“Promise you’ll always be there for me. Promise that everything will be all right no matter what happens. Please, just tell me that much, even if it’s a lie.”
“I already made those promises on our wedding day and I intend to keep them.”
“There’s something else you should know. I’ve been seeing a therapist about this dream and he thinks I have abandonment issues and I don’t know what to do about that.”
“I think I do,” Octavia said as she walked behind the desk. “I think it’s time you read this.”
Octavia pulled out the letter my mom wrote to me and Nightingale and handed it to me.
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amazing second schapter!
and btw, Drawingshady (me xD) is a girl
don't worry, i hear that a lot ^^
Pretty nice. Few mistakes like trying to make Ebony "slime" with a joke, but really good.
Ive read Mother Celestia and this in 2 days and I have to say, you good sir are one of the many great writers Ive ever know. You bring me to feel for all of these characters and not alot of writers can do that. I hope to see more of it and I have to say youve made Octavia one of my favorite characters. :3