Tracked, 4 stars !

No other comments, tracked should tell enough, won't it ;) ?

>>3468334683 Thanks so much! I'm working on Chapter 2 right now, it might be finished sometime tomorrow, but I'm not sure... it's been a while since I wrote anything.

I think you hit the nail on the head when talking about Pinkie Pie. She really IS that hyperactive when meeting someone new, and I think that sleepy Trixie also would be that way! Well done!

As I always ask all authors writing Trixie, please don't make her weak, very apologetic (slightly apologetic is fine) or shy. Trixie is cool as who she is - arrogant, self-confident, strong magic user and popular showmare. It always pisses me off to see her backing away from manecast's insults or attacks - come on, she tied AJ with her own lasso, tossed RD around with ease, she can handle anypony, except Twilight, albeit even her she can defeat, because of her expirience with all those heigh-sayers trying to upstage her and obvious knack in illusion magic.

So far I like your story. I can believe that she clearly separates her 'stage persona' and all this boasting from 'off-stage' her. Pinkie Pie written very well, talkative, friendly and totally forgiving, to be precise, totally forgetful of all grudges)) Can't wait to see her conversation with Twilight, but don't forget, SHE didn't bring Ursa or even started brawl - manecast boo-ed at her first, and anypony who was smart enough not to go on scene and try to upstage Trixie wasn't humiliated, so Rarity, Dash and AJ pretty much brought it upon themselves.

>>3470734707 ...personal experience?

Thank you everypony for your input.  Now I want to finish Chapter 2 even more.  Sadly, my brain's not working properly right now.

>>3470734707 It took a while for me to get Pinkie to where she is now.  In my first draft, she was not only way too hyperactive, barely even giving Trixie room to speak and pretty much running the fic, but she was also practically demolishing the fourth wall with a bulldozer.  I toned her down a lot, and now, I like to think of her as maybe poking her head through little holes in it every once in a while.

>>3473534735 The way I see it, Trixie is in kind of a bad place right now.  She realizes she had a hoof in causing the Ursa Minor attack; even if it wasn't really her fault, and Snips and Snails acted of their own will, she still wants to apologize, not out of selfish desire to clear her name, but to make things right.  Don't worry, once she does that and gets back in her groove, she won't be back to her full arrogance, because nothing is gained if there was no lesson learned, but she won't exactly be Ms. Humble, either.  It's kind of her job to be arrogant.  I also believe, while she may not have the absolute raw power that Twilight does, she does have the skills and the determination to give Twi a run for her money, if Trixie doesn't win it outright, because most of Twilight's experience with magic has come from books, and maybe a monster or villain every now and then, while Trixie has been out traveling, using her magic to tangle with other ponies first-hand on a daily basis.

Excellent so far!

>>3477834778

You... You're my god... That's exactly my thoughts! Can't wait to see chapter 2, and I promise to give you review once it's posted. I am absolute sucker to self-confident Trixie stories.

By the way, you may want to read "Great and Powerful" from Fenwolf2003 on DeviantArt. AJ/Trixie shipping with awesome, strong, smart Trixie and dialogues.... Well, read yourself,  I can't describe it's sheer awesomness. :)

All right guys, I'd say chapter 2 is about three-quarters of the way done, but after I finish, I've gotta proofread it and stuff, so it might be up this afternoon or maybe tonight, but if it's not, it'll definitely be up tomorrow.

Trixie glared up at Pinkie.  “Sweet Celestia, this is going to be a long night.” she muttered under her breath as she continued up the stairs at the same pace, as if to say, “I’ll go as fast as I darn well please.”

Trixie did not refer to her self in 3ed pony!!!

OH, Celestia, is the world going to end! RUN FOR THE HILLS! Trees and chickens first!

Really good story! thank you, it was Funny and it helped me with a problem I was having!

>>3552735527 That wasn't something Trixie actually said, instead, it was implied by her actions, so it doesn't really count :P

: RAGE QUIT

still love the story

Another good twixie story just not so twixieish at the moment. When will that come into the story anyway?  Can't wait for the next chapter..especially after the ending in this chapter. Ya had to end it there didn't you.  

Interesting...

it

>>3596435964 Why yes.  Yes, I did.

The twixie will come when it's ready.  I like my stories good and slow, so that you're not thrown directly into the action with nowhere to go afterwards.  My prediction is that neither mare will even confess their feelings for at least another 5 more chapters, because Twilight is too inexperienced with social matters to know what her feelings mean, and Trixie is too arrogant to admit her feelings for the pony who bested her without a lot of convincing from herself and others.

Anyway, I might take a break from writing tomorrow to give myself a rest (it's been a really long time since I've written anything, and my brain is starting to complain), but I'll be back at it on Monday, so hopefully you won't have to wait that long for Chapter 3

>>3597635976 Ugh... seriously, past self? "Another 5 more chapters"?  Redundant much?  ...I think it's almost time for sleep.

*adds to track list* excellent story!

>>3597635976 Good, I was actually hoping you wouldn't rush into it.

Nice chapter, funny and more funny, and Pinkie is already rubbing off and Trixie , and Fluttershy cam make anypony do anything, she is just too sweet and cute to say no too!

And yes,Applejack's "IS" accent is really hard to write! I agree with you 120%

>>3663336633 Yeah, I was almost not going to have Trixie apologize, but then I thought about it from Fluttershy's view for a second and realized that she wouldn't tell her friends to apologize and then not tell Trixie to do the same.  Good thing she was there, because she really is the only thing that would have convinced Trixie to apologize for her comments towards the others (not even Trixie's ego can withstand the cuteness of Fluttershy).  Twilight might be able to do the same sometime later, but there is no way she could do it at this point.

I tracked even before I read it. This is Twixie we're talking about!

I don't know of what you've read in the past as far as fanfictions, but the whole Pinkie Pie being Trixie's friend and letting her stay over at her place, seems familiar of the fanfiction "Of Mares and Magic."

I look forward to this next chapter!

"Welcome to cliffhanger town, population: all of you! :P"

grrrrrrRRRRRRAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!

No, but seriously, I scrolled on that line perfectly. Good rise of tension at the end there and epic cut off. You really got me! Also, you suck because I wanted to know what Twilight thought very much. HOW DARE YOU DOWNPLAY HER THIS CHAPTER! Still it was good chapter. Trixie apologizes to everyone and then... proceeds to insult the three neighsayers again. Huh... Quick one eighty there, huh? Good save by Fluttershy, but I wanna know what Twilight is thinking. NOW.

I expect the next chapter within 5 seconds. GO!

>>3697136971 Yeah, Of Mares and Magic is what inspired me to write this.  I really liked how Pinkie and Trixie worked as foils of each other, Trixie being arrogant and serious, and Pinkie being... well, Pinkie, so I decided to use that element here..

>>3697536975 Like Fluttershy said, Dash, Applejack, and Rarity insulted Trixie first by downplaying her apology, Trixie was just responding in kind.  Sorry, but I took a much-needed break from writing yesterday.  I'm going to get started on writing the new chapter right now though, so it might be done by tomorrow or Wednesday.

All right, now that the chapter's done, I could really use some proofreaders for future chapters.  If anypony is interested in proofreading, PM me, and I'll let you know when new chapters are ready.

Yes i can imagine trixie would be quite taken back to see her hat and cloak... hope to see more very soon!

MORE!

I think this is one of the best Trixie story I have seen, she is sorry m but she is still her proud self,  you are Keeping Trixie as Trixie while letting her character grow into something more the a loud mouth, very well done.

That hat and cape! Don't even try to deny it. I know who salvaged it, cleaned up, and got it fixed up by Rarity. It's that plot device used in almost every Twixie story (Even mine). That and sometimes the whole "Twilight is Celestia's protege" is put into play as well. I'm not complaining or anything about this, by the way. Just making observations along with other stories I've read. Your writing style is very detailed and enjoyable to read. I look forward to the next chapter

Twilight totally digs Trixie. I know that because of this chapter

please, make her stop talking about herself in 3rd person, i hate that.

I'm liking this a lot. I agree that the bravado needs to be toned down, but not eliminated. She's a showmare, after all. Good talk between her and Fluttershy, too.

Did fluttershy just give an Applejack peptalk?

Thank you everypony for your comments.  

>>3868938689 Nice guess, but nope.  That's how it goes in a lot of stories, but not here.  There are other ponies besides Rarity who know how to sew, and there are also ponies who are kind or generous or honest enough to return something to its owner, even if it was somepony they hated or hardly knew.

>>3869038690 Wait... what?  Talking in third person is part of her character.  Even when she was offstage, she kept doing it.  She only slipped into first person once in the entire episode, and that was when she was confronted with the fact that she couldn't vanquish the Ursa.

I really didn't like it. Trixie act like a cheap magician and bully, making fun of Tiara at public (and I love that filly). Pointless banter with Rarity, where Trixie don't even slightly rebuke fashionista's threats. Cheap laugh and cheap card tricks, filly abuse... and why would she use card tricks when she can use illusions? Her magic is working, and illusions way cooler than cards.

So was this The Great and Powerful Trixie's act if she wasn't so rudely interrupted? I like card tricks

Sad there was no Twilight this chapter... I guess we're in for a long story, huh?

all the while I read the end all I can think is TAKE THAT Diamond Tiara!  and you gave me an Idea for my own story! thanks a lot!

>>4442744427

Why everypony hates that cute filly? Sure, she made fun of Applebloom, but in "Cutie Pox" Applebloom made fun of Tiara. And I don't see what's the difference and why one of them marked as bully and other as cute funny fully.

Interesting.  And while Diamond's an easy target (and by 'easy target,' I mean that she's the proverbial broad side of the barn), I'm honestly surprised that everypony let Trixie get away with going after her.  Maybe Diamond's just that unlikeable in-universe.  Or she's get some negative feedback next chapter.  

Well, an interesting read nevertheless.

>>4442744427

I was thinking pretty much the same thing about Diamond Tiara, Fox-Sama. Of course my biggest problem with Diamond Tiara is that she's basically a brat who acts like she's better than everypony else just because she seems to get everything she wants from her parents.

>>4443044430

Now I agree that Diamond Tiara is a cute little thing but with her past actions she seems to be falling into the "Beauty is only skin deep." category.

Best Trixie I have seen by far! You really DO make Trixie into a strong mare who won't get pushed around! Rarity's part was really good, CMC's part was just as good, but the last part was rather questionable. Sure, Trixie really is a badass when on her grounds. But I still can't see everypony laughing as a little filly runs off the stage crying after being humiliated in front of everypony else. Just isn't right, no matter how strong my hatred towards anyone acting like that stands.

>>4439044390

I guess being an author is just like being Trixie, there will always be naysayers in the audience.

Anyways, keep it up with the comedy!

>>4443044430

I really do not like Diamond Tiara.  I don't know why, there's just something about her meanness that rubs me the wrong way.  I think it's because Diamond Tiara's meanness is completely offensive, as opposed to defensive like Trixie's (at least, that's the way I see Trixie, and that's the way I portray her), and she uses it against ponies who she most likely thinks would never fight back, like Apple Bloom and Twist, which is, of course, the average bully mindset.  The way I see it, in The Cutie Pox, Apple Bloom was just getting revenge for how Diamond Tiara treated her in Call Of the Cutie, which isn't the best thing to do, but they're both still fillies.   But then, that's just my personal opinion.  I'll respect yours, and try to lay off the Tiara-bashing in the future.

As for why Trixie didn't respond to Rarity, she's already started to make friends with two of Rarity's friends, and she knows first-hand that Fluttershy won't stand for fights between anypony and her friends,so she decided to play nice.

I'm really liking this story so far. Then again, I love all Twixie ^^

There was a mistake I noticed in this chapter though. When Trixie was selecting the CMC for her assistants, you put "each with their hands raised."

I'm pretty sure ponies don't have hands xD

Other than that, good stuff

>>4439044390 no one likes diamond tiara she's a bitch and i hope she dies in a hole with sunday and monday

>>4451244512

I understand why you feel that way about Tiara, and glad to see you'll try to lay off Tiara-bashing; yes, she didn't act very nice, but she's just filly. To think that we never saw her parents, even at their cutecenera, shows that she may be ignored and neglected in her family, or abandoned by one of the parents. There's other thing - she seems to attack only blank-flanks, Snips, Snails or Twist pretty much ignored, so Tiara may feel insecure because her cutiemark is silver tiara: what it means, that she's good at wearing jewelry? That's sad, if you think about it.

>>4454044540 Oops!  Sorry, fixed it.  Thanks for letting me know.

>>4456444564

"Tiara may feel insecure because her cutiemark is silver tiara: what it means, that she's good at wearing jewelry? That's sad, if you think about it."

My head-canon is that her special talent is making jewelry, and she's just SO PROUD of her first real creation she wears it everywhere. Silver Spoon, while we're at it, will inherit the vast flatware empire run by her mother and father, known for being the first company to specialize in making utensils for those who cannot use telekinesis to manipulate objects.

I have to agree with the others that Trixie seems to be trying to win friends through bullying, and while she's probably won over the CUTIE MARK CRUSADERS (yay!), I'm hoping for a bit of a talking to about taking matters into her own hooves.

Hmm, a bit put-off by how she acted around Diamond Tiara... not that she doesn't deserve it, though. Trixie was good around Rarity and the CMC, though, displaying saint-like patience with the latter.

Aw... I feel kinda bad for Diamond Tiara now. I guess she deserved it though.

Can't wait for the next chapter anyway

Loving the story, but there's one glaring mistake I noticed while reading - Trixie abandons the third person, although she quickly recovers.

"Before we get started, may I ask your name?  Trixie likes to know the names of all her victi... she means... assistants."

Other than that I'm loving the story, but I'm still waiting for the shipping to start. Then again I love a good buildup.

>>4518045180

Aw, horseapples... and I usually catch those too!

Me and my friends have the same opinion of diamond tiara, special talent wearing a tiara? I think I'd rather be a blank flank.

>>4696746967

Same opinion as Trixie that is.

why do I see the Powerful Twilight  as the Great Trixie's assistant?

Pinkie Pie pays no attention to physics.

Applejack don't care 'bout gremmer n' stuff.

I'm starting to wonder about Trixie's name. Since her mother was named Lapis Lazuli and her father was Pyrite I'm surprised that Trixie herself doesn't have a precious stone type name. I do like the backstory of Trixie's titles. It makes them seem more important and a bit more personal knowing they were titles her parents held instead of just having it where she calls herself Great and Powerful just because it makes her sound more special.

>>4786947869

Oh god, that would be awesome.

Hmm... I think I just thought of a little bit of the next chapter! Thank you!

>>4788147881

Well, don't forget, a pony's name has more to do with their special talent than with who they are related to.  Trixie's name comes from her ability to perform illusions and tricks.  We know that Pyrite is so powerful that he's fought dragons, but what Trixie didn't mention is that when they'd try to give him part of their treasure hoard as reward for besting them, he'd abandon the treasure somewhere, leaving it for the first fool to happen upon it (thus he made fools gold).  Also, note that lapis lazuli most often contains some pyrite.  Perhaps Pyrite had a hoof in helping Lapis Lazuli discover her special talent?  I might go more into Trixie's parents' backstories sometime later.

The Great Trixie and Powerful Twilight? You sir, are a genius in that regard. That is just the cutest thing ever Splitting up Trixie's title so Twilight can have half of it. They are sharing the title! That's so d'awwww

I'm glad you got to some Twixie this chapter! I was wondering just how you would ease into it. Trixie teaching Twilight? While not being taken as a joke? I don't think that's been done before, which is a big plus in my book! You must really like card tricks, huh? I've never been able to do one myself... Always seems so complicated. Perhaps Trixie could teach me as well?

Great chapter Saw a comma used twice somewhere in there, but still an awesome twixieful chapter!

Please do more! Like right now would be nice.  

nice! i like when the story starts with extreme love emotions. it's good that you take a lot of time for the story, wich is very important.

the great and astounding trixie and the All powerful twilight that should be there stage names XD

Sweet, we're finally getting to the Twixie

Leeroy what the hell, your just some kind of stupid. Lol love that video, so much win.

>>4792547925

When I was a kid, I used to absolutely love stage magic, especially card tricks.  Lately, I've been researching different types of card flourishes so that I could write about them better.  After all, half of a magician's act is the flair that they bring to it.  I'm still learning, but I can sort of do a spring flourish that comes out like Twilight's now.

Glad to see the shipping begin, and that Trixie maintained the third person this time . I think I saw a single quotation used somewhere instead of a double. That and you're missing the i in 'bit' in the last paragraph.

I also saw the Scootaloo joke coming, and I still laughed my ass off. Very well executed. I'm looking forward to the next chapter.

Good to see both sides of Trixie's treatment of Diamond Tiara, there. And nice to see a bit of the Twixie, too.

great to see a twixie story that takes it's time, not rushing to get to the shipping but establishing the fanon friendships first.

also the leroy jenkins joke made me smile, but the scotalloo line droped me to the ground.

"At least I have scootaloo"

So glad I wasn't drinking anything when I read that line, or it would be all over my monitor right now

There is such a thing as too much Pinkie Pie...ness.

You handled it well.

I love how your taking it slow... and your spurts of comedy and D'aww... Keep it up!

Wow, that was a great chapter as always. I couldn't help but feel that diamond tiara was a little out of character. Then again, unless someone is strangling her due to her snootiness I think she's out of character. Anyways good job.

>>5253452534

Yeah, I don't think I'm going to use Diamond Tiara anymore... I just can't write her being nice without it feeling horribly out of character.  Sorry.

I really liked it, and i felt that part of the dream was very heart felt... it was beautiful...

Twilight and Trixie seem to be getting on well

Good chapter, I'm glad Trixie apologized to Diamond Tiara even if it did mean Tiara had to be a little out of character

"Nothing, my flank!

"A little bit?  Trixie almost saw her Great and Powerful life flashing before her eyes!

Those made me laugh hard  it funny how using  the words in a different manner can lead to a laugh.

the Sad Dream is fine, if Trixie did not missing her mom and dad, and thought nothing of it, we would start to hate her! but She loves them and we love her.

But I do feel sorry for Twilight now, with out meaning to Trixie is Prepping the Great Twilight to be a show Pony and Twilight has No Idea whats coming!  

  The Great Trixie will now Saw the her lovely assistant in half!

Wait,,, what?

you know I can already see Dash. The Powerful Twilight?   Dash is going to rider her all day long when she finds out

A great chapter once more! Ah, Diamond Tiara... glad she's gone. I'd cheer if Trixie made her vanish-permanently!

>>5296452964

I'm kind of disappointed in myself that I couldn't write her correctly when she's not being mean.  I don't know if it's just me having my usual low self-esteem, but something tells me I could have written her apologizing without it seeming horribly out of character.  Tiara fans, what's your opinion?  Because I'd really like to make it better if I can, and I don't want to turn her into a case of Chuck Cunningham Syndrome.

>>5338653386

Is there ANY way to write her without being mean? Trixie and Blueblood can be redeemed while keeping to the show-I've seen both done. Hell, this is an instance of Trixie redemption. But Diamond Tiara? Almost nothing redeeming about her in-show.

>>5338653386

I'm of the opinion that Tiara was also confronted by Fluttershy at some point, and we just didn't see it.

It seems like an easy enough way to pass it off.

Great chapter BTW

>>5395153951

Darnit, why didn't I think of that?

>>5418554185

Well hey, at least now you have an easy excuse for the OOC :D

Easy enough to put in an author's note, or a quick addition to the dialogue.

Glad to help and again - keep up the good work

damn it my mom used to sing me that same frickin song before i started hating life and locking myself away in my room. i almost ripped my laptop i half, but i remembered that it's the only pc i got next my school pc, but that for school so i just did what i always do when i get angry, i print out a copy of the short story i wrote, crumple it up, and light it on fire while say "you're nothing" over and over again..... i have a lot of problems and i guess mlp kinda calms me for a little bit.

>>5534355343

I'm adding it in to the next chapter, if that's all right with you.  Thanks for the idea.

>>5540455404

Sorry if I stirred up any unpleasant memories with that.  We all have our problems, but what's great is that sometimes we can help each other through them.  Try to remember that no one is nothing.  Everyone has something that they can contribute to existence as a whole, a special talent, if you will.  You just need to find it.

>>5556455564

Hey, you're the author

I'm just along for the totally awesome ride.

>>5540455404

THIS BRONY NEEDS SOME SERIOUS LOVE AND TOLERANCE!!!

<Sadness Detected - Firing Party Cannon>

So. Much. Blushing!

If I somehow ended up in Ponyville sometime during this chapter, I'd end up mistaking everyone for Big Mac!

Also, I love the idea that Pyrite also spoke in the third person.

Great chapter, keep it up!

Sorry, guys, Chapter 7's gonna be a while.

Let's just say that I've had some technical difficulties involving me being a complete bucking moron, and losing all my progress when I was more than halfway done with the chapter.

cool chapter! yeah flutterdash is really the best. My order of mane six: Fluttershy, RD, AJ, Twilight, Rarity, and Pinkie ... I'm sorry pinkie, but you're just too much

My two top favorite pairings in the same story. Twixie and Flutterdash. WIN. <3

Trixie stood up on her hind legs, waving her forehooves in the air dramatically.  "Don't believe in yourself, Twilight.  Believe in her, the Trixie who believes in you!  YOUR DECK IS THE DECK THAT WILL PIERCE THE HEAVENS!" Trixie exclaimed, pointing a forehoof up to the ceiling..

I want fanart depicting this. NOW!

It was a pretty good chapter. The confession seemed a bit rushed into, in my opinion. You'e downplayed Twilight's feelings pretty well throughout the story so it kind of came out of the blue that Twilight likes Trixie. Also, I admit the first kiss being an experiment was a decent excuse, but Twilight's argument that an experiment needs to be conducted more than once for accuracy was even better! So some ups and downs, but I sure did enjoy the chapter nonetheless.

Card Tricks -> Romance

I don't think I've seen that route before. Interesting

>>6080460804

I would be MORE than happy to do this.

Unfortunately, I have the creativity of a walnut and would more than likely come out as a stick-pony

Also, great chapter by the way. I loved the 'experiment'

the Coming together of Trixie and Twilight seemed well rushed. and I know its going to sound odd, but really out of the blue, yes Trixie had feeling for Twight already but they both just seemed rather bold with there feelings.

Don't get me wrong I still like this story a lot, but would like to see more build up to the first kiss is all.

Favored pairings  are Twilight X Rainbow.  Trixie X Twilight.  Vinyl X Octavia. and Now Older Spike and Gilda.

there are so many good pairings. it is hard to pick.

Now I give you Rainbow

And Twilight

And they are going to kiss.

Don't acted like you 2 have never done it before.

   Dwaaaaa

This chapter kinda caught me off-guard, wasn't really expecting that so soon.Made me though, good chapter and can't wait for the next one.

Also, I laughed at the Gurren Lagann reference.

>>6080460804

Only Trixie has a big enough ego to channel Kamina.

Sorry if Twilight's confession seems a bit rushed, I was kinda getting angry at myself for taking so long, so I decided to have Trixie push Twilight past her antisocial self and confess already.  Also, sorry if I don't take the story into Twilight's mind very much, there's a very specific reason why almost all of the story is from Trixie's point of view, with only a few short scenes being from the points of view of the ponies around her.  Trust me, it'll all make sense in the end.

Love it! Finally a Twixie fic where it doesnt take them 85765986348562 chapters to confess! I do agree with the rushing a bit but from what you said I can definitely see Trixie's take on it. I like how this takes Trixie's pride and self-boasting and egotism and has her practically force the confession from Twilight. That is something Trixie would definitely do. Cheers!

i have to say this was kind of a disappointment for me, it looks like the confession bit was written later and tacked on afterwards, which is a bit of a bummer.

i can understand not wanting to wait too long with "the good stuff" but if you rush it like this the story as a whole suffers for it in my opinion

still, it's all the writers decision in the end and the rest of the story is great so....

keep up the good work

I see how you covered Diamond Tiara being out of character, very well played sir.

Its ok but theres too much dialog, and i understand that trixie uses the first person, it just gets really iratating after a while. Hope you continue, kinda wished you'd developed trixie and twilights feelings for eachother and not made it so sudden. Do you have pre-readers? Otherwise i kinda liked it, sorta.