Welp, more immortal superpowered displaced Mary Sue that gets proposisioned for sex right out the gate. Don't we have enough of these already? Like really. These kinds of stories are piling up faster than bodies at a club during complimentary roofie night.
EDIT: Not sure if you realized this while writing your bio, but the song goes: "/You saw me standing alone/ /Without a dream in my heart/ /Without a love of my own/"
There is no mention of God in the entire song. Not in the Frank Sinatra version, nor the "The Marcels" version, nor the "Billy Eckstine", nor the "Elvis Presley".
6540673 All things I have known for some time. In the case of the not so authentic quote, I simply changed it to fit my needs. No harm done. And as for the story? Well, I believe you've judged a bit too quickly. Sure, for the first few chapters it will be your typical Mary Sue or Gary Stu, but eventually? Things will change. There is another side to him, and there will major changes and twists. Major. That is all I will reveal, though. And honestly? Disliking something just because of the author's choice is rather rude and unfair. It's all well and good if you don't like it, but next time, please try to justify your dislike with something actually logical. Not to say that this isn't entirely illogical, just a bit rude, that's all. Thank you for the criticism though.
should he not have said he was waiting to do it for millenia cuz 1000 years is a millenium and he had been there about 5 millenia or 5000 years... also here have this
Hellsing abridged the fun version of hellsing: ultimate i put it there cuz this fic brought millenium to mind... those crazy ass national socialists
It's worth noting that, within Germany at the time, the word "Nazi" was a homnym for "Naczi" which was an insulting term for a "foolish clumsy person", so the term wasn't actually used by the Nazi's to describe themselves.
I would've loved this so much more if he weren't already married to BOTH princesses already, being propositioned for sex right off the bat (maybe some light flirting but not so quickly either), and Alvis seems more than capable of being the most over-powered being in all f**king existence.
At the moment, however, this isn't even worth giving a 'read later.'
6542389 Understood. I will take that into consideration, just know that Alvis will only be overpowered compared to everypony but the Princesses. And even then there will be...times where he fails. I won't say how many or how often. And it's still up for debate as to whether or not things will go so smoothly for him when it comes to sex and his love life. Also, don't know if any of you have heard of Midnight Blossom and Cloud Skipper but they're a dynamic duo. And, Blossom is supposed to proposition ponies and people alike, as was hinted at in the story. She does it on a regualr basis. Also, Cloud Skipper and Midnight Blossom are not my characters. They are someone else's. Don't who, but regardless they aren't mine. I can only hope they don't mind me using them. So in short, I am only following the personality of the characters. It wouldn't be Midnight without at least one proposition. Please understand that I will do everything I can think of to water down the positives. However, I am only one person, and cannot do it all on my own. So, feel free to give me suggestions. That goes for all of you.
Curious about the talsiman. I think they're used to channel magic through the casters power in faith, so who is the undeads patrion? Or does he even need one? He seems strong and old enough to probably hold his own order/faith, even after his, 'untimely confinment'. I think it would be pretty neat for the 2 sisters if they established an order of knights to fight the Minotaurs in the name of the undead. Ha! Wouldn't that be neat. So the character is undead. If this wasn't a displaced fic, I might be worried for the inhabitants of the world in the story. If the darksign is present within the world, it will eventually spread like the plague, sentencing everyone to the unlike as an undead, eventually losing themselves overtime until there is nothing but a hask. Meh. They just need to get gud. Or Giant Dad. THE LEGEND NEVER DIES!!!
Honestly, there is an easier to reach and more satisfying hole to shove something large. Not for the minotaur of course, but yeah. Also, it's much more damaging to his pride, and he will never piss while standing ever again.
Seeing as how this was a Dark Souls Displaced fic, I had high hopes for it.
Pity that, for they were dashed upon the unfeeling stone of the first paragraph's text. The eloquence and quiet brutality that I had come to associate with most DS fics was entirely absent here, and I am saddened that the standards of many readers have dropped so low as to be Blighted. I wish I could have been able to say good things about this, I really do.
But, I cannot, in good conscience, do that. I do hope that this improves from it's severely rushedliness in the future, and do hope that you can learn how to prose Dark Souls like an artist, for the bar set by the Dark Souls fans needs must be set higher. And, I am afraid, you missed that bar by quite a few metres.
It is with that I bid thee farewell, and a jolly adieu.
Love this guy, love the first thing he did when he got out, love his attitude to casually shoving sharp implements up some asshole's asshole. Also, I wanna see who can bench press more, my daddy or your dark souls guy.
6577685 Not as much as one would think. And in Dark Souls, you can be rotting away completely and still move. So I'm just following the game on that particular subject.
RIGHT UP THE ASS!!!! LOL
Indeed. Quite amusing, no? I thought it would be funny. Glad to see it is, at least to some. Oops, meant to reply...ah well.
Interesting. I like where this is going looking forward to seeing more in the near future
6540051 I will endeavor to live up to your expectations, good sir.
indeed a wise choose
6540108 Hm?
Huzzah for another Dark Souls Crossover!
6540134 Glad to see you enjoy the story. Care to tell me what you think?
6540153 I enjoyed the first chapter, and hope the next one will be just as good!
6540251 Good to hear. I hope to live up to your expectations as well, fellow Souls enthusiast.
more plz
Welp, more immortal superpowered displaced Mary Sue that gets proposisioned for sex right out the gate. Don't we have enough of these already? Like really. These kinds of stories are piling up faster than bodies at a club during complimentary roofie night.
EDIT: Not sure if you realized this while writing your bio, but the song goes:
"/You saw me standing alone/
/Without a dream in my heart/
/Without a love of my own/"
There is no mention of God in the entire song. Not in the Frank Sinatra version, nor the "The Marcels" version, nor the "Billy Eckstine", nor the "Elvis Presley".
6540673 All things I have known for some time. In the case of the not so authentic quote, I simply changed it to fit my needs. No harm done. And as for the story? Well, I believe you've judged a bit too quickly. Sure, for the first few chapters it will be your typical Mary Sue or Gary Stu, but eventually? Things will change. There is another side to him, and there will major changes and twists. Major. That is all I will reveal, though. And honestly? Disliking something just because of the author's choice is rather rude and unfair. It's all well and good if you don't like it, but next time, please try to justify your dislike with something actually logical. Not to say that this isn't entirely illogical, just a bit rude, that's all. Thank you for the criticism though.
6540673 Apoligies for the rant, I've had a rough day and when I saw your comment I just exploded. Truly sorry.
6540050 lol
though they might have deserved it, i feel sorry for the minotaur.
more please!
should he not have said he was waiting to do it for millenia cuz 1000 years is a millenium and he had been there about 5 millenia or 5000 years... also here have this
Hellsing abridged the fun version of hellsing: ultimate
i put it there cuz this fic brought millenium to mind... those crazy ass national socialists
I would've loved this so much more if he weren't already married to BOTH princesses already, being propositioned for sex right off the bat (maybe some light flirting but not so quickly either), and Alvis seems more than capable of being the most over-powered being in all f**king existence.
At the moment, however, this isn't even worth giving a 'read later.'
6542389 Understood. I will take that into consideration, just know that Alvis will only be overpowered compared to everypony but the Princesses. And even then there will be...times where he fails. I won't say how many or how often. And it's still up for debate as to whether or not things will go so smoothly for him when it comes to sex and his love life. Also, don't know if any of you have heard of Midnight Blossom and Cloud Skipper but they're a dynamic duo. And, Blossom is supposed to proposition ponies and people alike, as was hinted at in the story. She does it on a regualr basis. Also, Cloud Skipper and Midnight Blossom are not my characters. They are someone else's. Don't who, but regardless they aren't mine. I can only hope they don't mind me using them. So in short, I am only following the personality of the characters. It wouldn't be Midnight without at least one proposition. Please understand that I will do everything I can think of to water down the positives. However, I am only one person, and cannot do it all on my own. So, feel free to give me suggestions. That goes for all of you.
there should be about 20 chapters before this one
6542858 See my previous statement.
daar los fen kos pruzah!
(This is gonna be good!)
6543402
Geh, geh nii fen
(Yes, yes it will)
Curious about the talsiman. I think they're used to channel magic through the casters power in faith, so who is the undeads patrion? Or does he even need one? He seems strong and old enough to probably hold his own order/faith, even after his, 'untimely confinment'. I think it would be pretty neat for the 2 sisters if they established an order of knights to fight the Minotaurs in the name of the undead. Ha! Wouldn't that be neat. So the character is undead. If this wasn't a displaced fic, I might be worried for the inhabitants of the world in the story. If the darksign is present within the world, it will eventually spread like the plague, sentencing everyone to the unlike as an undead, eventually losing themselves overtime until there is nothing but a hask. Meh. They just need to get gud. Or Giant Dad. THE LEGEND NEVER DIES!!!
6544782 All very good points. THE LEGEND NEVER DIES.
I haven't read the story yet, I just want to say this. Alvis is an awesome name. Now will he live up to the names meaning? that is the question.
6546737 Indeed.
Honestly, there is an easier to reach and more satisfying hole to shove something large. Not for the minotaur of course, but yeah. Also, it's much more damaging to his pride, and he will never piss while standing ever again.
Seeing as how this was a Dark Souls Displaced fic, I had high hopes for it.
Pity that, for they were dashed upon the unfeeling stone of the first paragraph's text. The eloquence and quiet brutality that I had come to associate with most DS fics was entirely absent here, and I am saddened that the standards of many readers have dropped so low as to be Blighted. I wish I could have been able to say good things about this, I really do.
But, I cannot, in good conscience, do that. I do hope that this improves from it's severely rushedliness in the future, and do hope that you can learn how to prose Dark Souls like an artist, for the bar set by the Dark Souls fans needs must be set higher. And, I am afraid, you missed that bar by quite a few metres.
It is with that I bid thee farewell, and a jolly adieu.
6553980 I have been thinking of doing rewrites...
6553996 Perhaps I could help you, if you would be willing. I happen to have a vaccine for the dumbs.
6554495 I see no reason not to. Why not?
6554567 Send the goods to the following address when you require aid. Then, we shall engage in jolly cooperation!
Terminal343.SK116@gmail.com
6554587 Done.
6554635 I shall get to it tomorrow. I have stuff to do on the morrow.
6554705 Understood.
Love this guy, love the first thing he did when he got out, love his attitude to casually shoving sharp implements up some asshole's asshole. Also, I wanna see who can bench press more, my daddy or your dark souls guy.
6567701 Thanks, but there might be some major changes in the future, and there won't be an update until it's all written in stone and done.
I'm personally more wondering how you can stand up after all these years. Especially as a corpse. The muscles rotted too, right?
6577685 Not as much as one would think. And in Dark Souls, you can be rotting away completely and still move. So I'm just following the game on that particular subject.
6577955
Ah, ok. I don't know the game. So that's good to know!
I can sense the Fashion Souls is strong with this one.