"You seem a bit down this morning, Discord."
Celestia and Discord sat in one of the many receiving rooms of Canterlot Castle, sipping tea. It was a ritual they indulged in once or twice a month—once Discord had been reformed and accepted friendship, Celestia found she actually enjoyed his occasional company, and even found his antics amusing. (Well...some of his antics.)
Today, Discord wasn't joking, making things disappear, or bringing the tea service to life. He was sipping his tea like a normal being instead of drinking it sideways or in reverse. There was a droop to his posture that was different from his normal serpentine slouch.
Discord sighed. "A very old friend of mine just died," he said.
Celestia's eyes widened. "Oh my. I'm so sorry." She sipped her tea. "Would this be anypony I know?"
Discord shook his head. "Completely different universe." He gave a brief, sardonic chuckle. "Actually, I say 'friend', but he was more of a...social acquaintance. Actually, if I'm being honest with myself, the guy was a jerk and a major creep. You think I used to be bad? The torment I put your little ponies through is nothing compared to what he would have done if he ever visited Equestria. He was the kind of guy who literally burns worlds for laughs."
Celestia frowned thinly. "Sounds like a...charming fellow," she said.
Discord laughed. "He thought he was. He was certainly amusing, in his own way, but he was a complete psycho." He shook his head. "Ran with a bad crowd, too. Mostly interdimensional criminals, demons, freakish monsters..." He drained his tea noisily, then absently refilled it.
"If I might ask...how did he die?"
Discord waved his lion paw airily. "I don't know the details, exactly. I just felt it when he ceased to exist. If I had to guess, though? He ticked someone off who knew how to kill him and finally got what he deserved."
Celestia raised an eyebrow. "That's a bit dark for you," she said. With a frown, she added, "And it's more than a little disturbing to hear anypony speak so casually about execution. That's the kind of thing I try to actively discourage here."
Discord shook his head. "You'd think otherwise if you knew his list of crimes. Nothing you've ever faced, including me and Tirek, is as bad as even a fraction of what this joker called 'fun'." He gave Celestia a firm look. "Picture every last pony in Equestria turned inside out, set on fire, and cursed to not die just so they could burn in freakish misery forever."
Celestia paled, nearly dropping her tea. "Wh-what? That...that's the sickest, most disgusting thing I've ever heard!"
"That's the kind of thing this guy would call a morning stretch."
Celestia's cheeks bulged. She discretely conjured a small pot, ducked under the table, and threw up as quietly as she could.
"And now you know why he's better off dead." Discord frowned. "Well, probably dead. You know how it is with demons. You can never really be sure." He shrugged. "Anyway, whatever happened to him killed him pretty severely. If he does come back, it'll probably take a few eons." He chuckled. "Even for an immortal, that's a long time."
Celestia's muzzle crinkled as she dabbed her face with a napkin, then vanished it. "There's immortal and there's eternal," she said, adding sugar and lemon to her tea and draining it. "I'm immortal and I don't measure time in eons."
"Nor do I," Discord said. "I'm only seven hundred thousand years old. There are beings so ancient it's unfathomable, even for a spirit of chaos."
"Well spoken, cousin," a voice eerily similar to Discord's, but deeper and more powerful, said from all around them.
Discord groaned. "I really should have expected this," he muttered.
In a bright flash, a dark-haired human appeared. He was wearing some sort of red and black form-fitting uniform; piercing eyes shone with cold intelligence from a severe face.
Discord raised an eyebrow. "Really, Q?" A third teacup appeared, filling itself. "This is the form you're taking now?"
"I find it suits me, limited as it is," Q said. "Besides, I'll be damned if I turn myself into a horse. No offense, Your Majesty," he added to Celestia.
Celestia pursed her lips. "Discord, would you introduce me to your...friend?"
"Celestia, this is Q. Q, this is Princess Celestia, ruler of—"
"Ruler of Equestria, bearer of this dimension's singularly improbable sun—a distortion of the universal laws of physics I rather approve of, by the way—and proponent of the ideals of friendship and harmony," Q said. "Yes, charmed." He accepted the tea and sipped it. "Earl Grey. That certainly takes me back." He smirked. "Well, I gather you know why I'm here."
Discord nodded. "I don't suppose you know where, when, and how?"
"Earth, twenty-first century," Q said. With a darkly ironic chuckle, he added, "Oregon of all places, if you can believe that. As to how, it's a bit complicated, but suffice to say his own arrogance did him in."
"That figures," Discord said. "Isn't that always the way? You live forever, you have nigh-infinite power, you think nothing can stand in your way, and some insignificant little band of mortals takes it all away." He coughed. "Erm. Not to disparage my wonderful friends in Ponyville, of course."
"Of course," Celestia said dryly.
"Mortals should never be taken lightly, Discord," Q said in a serious tone. "I should know. I've tested the best of them. I've seen mortals do things gods can only dream of. I've seen mortals do things gods don't dare to dream of." He finished his tea. "Well, I must be off. The Continuum is meeting to debate exactly how much of the mess he made we should get involved in cleaning up. He managed to kill a few beings even we can't will back into existence, and that isn't even taking into account the dimension he burned." He turned to Celestia and nodded respectfully. "A pleasure." In a white flash, he vanished.
Discord shook his head. "That guy. He used to be such a party animal."
A cigar appeared in his mouth in a white flash, Q's face floating in the smoke. "I still am," it said before vanishing.
Discord blinked. Celestia covered an amused giggle.
I like this. It was short, funny, a tiny bit dramatic and general pleasant.
Nice tribute I like it
Don't worry about willing back into existence all the beings he killed. Time Baby will regenerate in 1000 years. It's canon.
I feel like I should know who they're talking about. But I have no idea.
Should I know who that being is, or was it intentionally vague?
6942419 If you don't, your life is sad.
I just saw that and I didn't make the connection until I read the comments (Oregon? I guess I completely missed that detail). It was great, and this friendship makes too much sense.
6942419 Dude, how can you not get that reference? It's a reference to 'Gravity Falls'
RIP Bill Cipher
6942422 My first guess is that this has something to do with gravity falls.
To quote Bill- I am watching you. Great chapter,
Yikes.
Yikes, I get that his mind is wired different from others, immortal Chaos Spirit after all, but hearing him talk about death so lightly, yeesh.
I'd rather not.
I'm sure.
Wow.
Oh?
You're amazing.
I feel like I should know who this is.
This is amazing.
(So, who died?)
Ain't that the truth.
__
_ | |_ (Aw, don't worry, Cordsy. You're gonna see me again real soon!)
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Never cared for Gravity Falls, so I didn't get the reference used till I read it in the comments.
It may be self indulgent, but this makes sense to me. I freaking loved this chapter, especially when Q appeared. I also liked how you never actually said what happened, but those of us who watched it would know exactly what has Discord so down.
media.giphy.com/media/tKLq9YGlFGPxm/giphy.gif
6942422 Well then, I'll be sad with pahnazd, cuz I have no freaking clue who this is supposed to be talking about. Somebody mind spelling it out, cuz there isn't enough to go on to even try to figure it out. Not everyone keeps up with the same news as others.
Also, and I'm really not trying to be an ass when I say this, but don't do the "if you don't know, I'm not gonna tell you" move. That a really dick move to pull, and certainly not something you wanna do to your readership if they're honestly wanting to find out what the story is about.
6942485 Bill Cypher, and eldritch being of pure chaos that is the main antagonist of the finale to Disney's hit cartoon Gravity Falls. The character had a lead up as something important and world ending throughout the series, but it wasn't until the finale drew near we found out that he was a reality warper with the mentality of The Joker.
6942422 6942435
Welp, that makes sense now. I've never seen Gravity Falls.
Then again, besides Friendship is Magic, I hardly ever watch anything - I entertain myself 99% by games, the rest is FiM
Anyone who doesn't know the character this chapter is talking about needs to go watch all of Gravity Falls RIGHT NOW.
6942422 I liked that show at first, but honestly once he showed up and the arc really kicked in I lost interest
I had to read the comments to find out who was being talked about. Never seen the show because I do not have cable or satellite. For a good portion of the chapter I thought it was Darkside until it was mentioned the being died in Oregon. Good chapter overall nice to see other characters besides the girls.
When gods and High Demons fall, there is always fallout. If nothing else, Q and Discord will probably end up having to referee the interminable power struggle as his surviving lieutenants (as his most senior slaves considered themselves) struggle hopelessly to somehow claim their vanished master's throne.
6942509 I never got hooked on Gravity Falls like some that I know, but I can see about who died that came from that show, and now Q (from Star Trek TNG) tells his counterpart the details. A MLP/Star Trek TNG crossover talking about Gravity Falls for the ages, right?
6942500 THe reference is to the series finale of Gravity Falls, which aired yesterday.
6942435
It's really easy to not get the reference when you don't watch the show.
I can't stand the art style, so I've never watched more than a few minutes. And I don't intend to watch more.
You know a show is good when it can make you cry when all you've watched is literally two other episodes.
6942546 Ah ok. Thanks. I don't watch tv, so I had no idea. My pony watching is either via streaming, Netflix, or when I'm over at a friend's house for it, and that's really it. All my entertainment is either internet or gaming (online or in real life).
Ah, Q. Always telling Bond to grow up... Oh, wait, wrong Q. Nice cameo.
6942546 Wait, it already aired?
I didn't even realize who it was until Oregon was mentioned.
He's not dead for long if his last words are anything to go by
A-X-O-L-O-T-L, my time has come to burn, I invoke the ancient power that I may return!
6942462 Get out of here Cypher, we dont need your kind Around!
OK, for those who don't know what the flippin' flap they're talking about:
GRAVITY FALLS
Don't worry, I spoiled nothing more than the author of this fic and the various commenters did.
(To the author: I love your work, but SOME sort of note explaining. For the Otherwise Clueless, like myself, would have been nice.)
6942649
It was the series finale, he's gone
6942780 There's supposed to be a movie or two at some later date.
"Appologies"?
What makes you say such a thing?
This was—*mvah*—marvelous!
Wow I use to like and follow this story.
6942511 I refuse
"Tea, Earl Grey, hot."
6942710 Ah, thank you.
Bill Cipher is dead? Nice.
6942994 He was a magnificent bastard of a guy, that's for certain.
I think this sentence needs a little cleaning up. It feels like two different sentences where combined and it just sounds wrong when spoken out loud.
Yeah, Bill is probably still around.
I had a whole comment explaining why, but then I realized it was a massive spoiler.
And now back to Just Girls Talking About.
And this is why I need to catch back up with that show
Yeah, that was pretty bad. Better stick to FiM only.
Wow. I've never seen any of Gravity Falls, and I still got the reference. Freaky.
The chapter actually started interesting: Celestia and Discord? Sign me in[1]! And even if I didn't know the character Discord was talking about[2] you gave anough context foe the conversation for someone who didn't know the series. The conversation was forming to use this character as a contrast to Discord to show how much the latter had changed through the TV series... and then Q ruined everything.
Yes, cultural osmosis got me the idea Discord and Q are basically the same kind of character from different series, to the point the same real life person plays both of them. But in this particular scenario Q simply appeared, no context, no preparation (at least Discord is from MLP and is recognizable; you can't guarantee people know who Q is because he isn0t from the MLP franchise) and derailed the conversation about humans and stuff. Not as a joke, not to make a point, he just started talking about nothing related and then the chapter ended in nothing.
It's kind of ironic you used better the character who didn't personally appear and wasn't named than Q, the named character who did appear in the conversation.
That makes this the worst chapter thus far.
[1] I don't ship them but their unususl circumstances (being long-lived/unaging/immortal) gives them a different perspective than the Main cast, one you can use here too.
[2] I was thinking it was an OC before reading the comments here.