Chapter Eleven
Moving On
⠀
⠀
Sunset felt like hell. Her head was throbbing, her stomach felt like it was trying to eat itself, and a flavor she could only describe as ‘roadkill’ was covering her mouth. She had yet to open her eyes, but the light was already painful. She pulled her covers over her head and was vaguely curious if she’d fallen off her bed and slept on the floor, considering how uncomfortable she was.
The safest thing to do seemed to be to go back to sleep. If nothing else, surely the aching in her head would simply go away if she willed it to hard enough.
Unfortunately, in practice it wound up being the most difficult thing she could imagine. Giving up, she finally opened one eye, which immediately felt like a mistake. She forced the other one open and felt around her surroundings. It was too soft to be the floor, but didn’t quite feel like her bed either. She seemed to have made a wall of pillows or something, because it was soft both underneath her and off to one side. She didn’t remember having that many pillows, but also wasn’t really sure how many pillows she was supposed to have anyway. The question seemed entirely too taxing, so she decided it was unimportant for the time being.
If she wasn’t going back to sleep then there was only one thing she could do. ‘Get water.’ Rehydrating herself was the best thing she could do in the circumstance, and might help rid her mouth of the taste of death. But this meant taking off the covers and that was just not something she was willing to do.
Unable to go back to sleep and unwilling to face the day, she did the only reasonable thing left for her to do. In the hopes somepony might hear and take pity on her, she asked for help in the form of a miserable groan.
There was a moment that she thought she’d have to take care of herself after all, but thankfully Fluttershy answered. “Sunset? Are you awake?”
It was good that Fluttershy was the one who answered, since her soft voice actually didn’t make Sunset’s head feel any worse, even if she sounded much closer than Sunset had expected. She wondered slightly why Fluttershy was in her room, but was too relieved to question it.
“Can you get me some water?” Sunset asked. The whole thing came out as sort of half words and half groan, but it was the best she could manage. Feeling guilty already for the state Fluttershy was going to see her in, she added, “Please?”
“There’s water and aspirin on the table,” Fluttershy said.
“Have I ever told you that you’re the best?” Sunset almost didn’t think about why Fluttershy would already have those ready for her, but was slowly realizing how many things she was letting go unquestioned. She was starting to feel like there was something important she wasn’t realizing, and trying to think of what it was made her realize she couldn’t remember much at all of the night before.
She at least had the foresight to make sure she was wearing clothes before throwing off the blanket, since she normally didn’t wear them to bed. Finding that she was still dressed, however, didn’t make her feel much better, since it was another sign whatever happened the night before couldn’t have been good.
Finally removing the blanket, she blinked and slowly looked around the room while her eyes adjusted and her mind tried to catch up to the situation. She wasn’t in her bedroom. She had woken up on a couch that was too small for her in what looked like a wood house. Fluttershy was sitting in a chair nearby with a book propped open. “Where the fuck am I?”
“My cottage,” Fluttershy said. “You… don’t remember last night, do you?”
As much as she tried to figure out what could have led her to Fluttershy’s cottage, she couldn’t remember, and really didn’t want to imagine. “No, not really.” Finding that the shock was enough to get her moving, she sat up and took the pills Fluttershy had left out, sipping on the water slowly. “I’m sorry.”
“Why?” Fluttershy asked. “You don’t even remember anything.” It occurred to Sunset that Fluttershy seemed irritated, which didn’t really come as a surprise.
“I’m sure I said or did something I need to apologize for, though.” She tried to grin, but it might have come across as more of a grimace. “I usually do.”
Fluttershy closed her book and set it aside. She folded her hooves and didn’t look directly at Sunset. “You, uhm… you said something… odd.”
Sunset had been afraid of that. She had no doubt about what she might have said. It was more or less the last thing she could remember clearly, after all. “Fluttershy… I’m so sorry. And I don’t know how I made it sound last night, but everything was all my fault.”
“What do mean?” Fluttershy asked.
Sunset shook her head. “I… I was the one who kissed her, everything was all me. I’m pretty sure she was just in shock at the whole thing. So please, be as angry with me as you want, but try not to be too hard on Twilight, she’s probably still really freaked out.”
Fluttershy didn’t seem as angry as Sunset expected her to be. She did finally turn to look at Sunset properly, but she looked more exhausted than upset. “That’s not how it seemed,” Fluttershy said doubtfully.
“I know, I probably told you something else last night,” Sunset said. “But I was drunk and scared, I wasn’t ready to own up to what I did.”
“Sunset.” Fluttershy sighed and shook her head. “Please, tell me the truth. Is that really what happened?”
Sunset’s mind raced, wishing she could remember exactly was said the night before. Although Sunset had been all too happy to return the kiss, Twilight had definitely been the one to start it. Did Fluttershy know that though? If Sunset didn’t cover for Twilight while she was drunk she could easily work around that, but she also had no idea what Twilight and Fluttershy might have talked about. Fluttershy had probably told Sunset all about it, but she couldn’t remember. She decided it didn’t matter, that she’d just have to work around that too, make it sound like Twilight was trying to cover for her.
“Yeah. I’m… I’m not proud to admit it, but that’s what it is.” Sunset bowed her head and ran a hoof through her mane.
Fluttershy curled up on the chair and rested her head on her hooves. “You’re lying.”
“No, really!” Sunset said. “Why would I lie about that?”
“I saw it.”
Sunset thought she was prepared to work with anything Fluttershy knew about what happened, but that was one thing she hadn’t accounted for. “You… you did?”
Fluttershy moved her eyes towards Sunset, otherwise remaining still. “I was at the top of the stairs. She definitely kissed you first.”
Sunset took a deep breath. “Oh.”
“Why did you lie?” Fluttershy asked.
Even though she was exposed, Sunset still was reluctant to come clean. Some part of her was still turning over the scene in her head, trying to figure out if she could claim Fluttershy hadn’t seen it properly. She took a deep breath and decided it was too late.
“Because… Alright, I never really wanted to admit this, but I love Twilight. I… I have for pretty much for as long as I’ve known her.” Sunset searched for some sign of what Fluttershy felt about the revelation, but aside from lifting her head to face her, Fluttershy had barely moved. ‘Right, that was probably really obvious by now,’ Sunset reminded herself. She drank the rest of her water and thought about what exactly she wanted to say.
“That doesn’t explain why you lied.” Fluttershy looked at her longingly. As horrible as Sunset felt, Fluttershy looked worse. Sunset wondered if she’d slept at all since everything happened. “Sunset, please. I really just want to know the truth.”
“Because I want you two to be happy together. I know how that must sound, but it’s the truth. I don’t know what was going on that made Twilight kiss me, but I know that’s not something she’d normally do. She loves you so much. I’m sure she’d never do anything like that ever again, and I never want anything to come between you, especially me, so I hoped if I covered for her you would just blame me instead, and you two could just move past this.”
“Thank you for telling me,” Fluttershy said. She returned her head to her hooves.
Sunset sighed. Better get everything over with by this point. “And… I’m not really innocent either. We were only even in that situation because I was clinging onto her, and I could tell something was bothering her earlier. I think that whatever was on her mind was also why she kissed me. And I… well, I did kiss her back.”
Fluttershy nodded but didn’t say anything. Sunset thought she should probably leave. There was no way Fluttershy wanted her to stick around, but she wasn’t sure what to do. She wasn’t going back to the castle. She hadn’t seen Twilight since the kiss and was in no hurry to do so. Instead she lay back down, letting a few minutes pass in silence. “I really am sorry. I’ve been a horrible friend.”
“You know,” Fluttershy said, “you didn’t even mention the kiss last night.”
Sunset sat back up. “I… I didn’t?”
Fluttershy shook her head. “I tried to get you to talk about it but you never did.”
“So, uh, I’m almost afraid to ask, but what did I say?” Sunset couldn’t think of anything else that she might regret saying, but was sure there must be something.”
“You said you love me.”
Yes, there was definitely something. “I, uh…”
“What did you mean?”
Sunset’s first instinct was to lie. Friends could say they love each other. Sure, she never did, but some ponies were full of friendly love and didn’t mind saying so, especially when drunk. But Fluttershy just looked so exhausted by everything that Sunset found she didn’t have the heart to lie anymore. “I meant… I love you.”
Fluttershy shook her head. “Okay, but do you mean you love me as –”
“I meant I’m in love with you.” Sunset blushed and pulled the blanket around her, almost burying herself back in it. “Exactly what it sounds like, that’s what I meant.”
Fluttershy sat up, looking confused. “But you just said you love Twilight.”
“I do,” Sunset said, retreating a little further into the blanket. “I know it’s weird, but I love both of you.”
“Okay.” Fluttershy watched her for a few moments then shook her head. “But… why? I mean, I can understand Twilight, but why me?”
“I guess… maybe because you remind me of someone…” Sunset closed her eyes. She knew she had already gone too far to turn back.
“I remind you… Do you mean Morning Breeze?” Fluttershy asked.
Sunset shook her head. She opened her eyes, but couldn’t look at Fluttershy’s. “I made that name up. There is no Morning Breeze.”
“Oh. So then who was she?”
“Fluttershy.”
“Yes?”
Sunset couldn’t help but smile ever so slightly at the misunderstanding. “No, I mean it was the other Fluttershy.”
She chanced a look at Fluttershy. She looked even more confused, but otherwise no worse than before. “Really? The whole time you were really talking about Fluttershy?”
“Yeah,” Sunset said. “When you told me about Stormy Skies, I convinced her to come live with me.” Fluttershy nodded. Sunset had told her that much before. “It wasn’t too long afterwards that we started dating. We kind of rushed into things, since we were already living together, but we were really happy.”
“So what happened?” Fluttershy asked. Although it was a normally topic she tried to avoid, Sunset was still happy to see Fluttershy interested in talking to her about something other than the kiss. It made her hopeful that there might be a way they could still remain friends.
“Things were really great for about six months. But then something really bad happened, and I didn’t take it well. I started drinking really heavily and just screwed everything up.” Sunset winced at the memory, then shook it off. “We broke up for a while then got back together last Hearth’s Warming. It wasn’t ever really the same though, we stayed together for a few more months but we were fighting all the time. Eventually, I guess she had enough, and when Rainbow’s band went on tour, she went with them.”
“That’s when you decided to move here?” Fluttershy asked.
Sunset nodded. “I just… I needed to get away from everything.”
She wasn’t sure if she was imagining it or not, but Fluttershy almost looked sympathetic. “But why didn’t you ever tell me? Why make up this whole other person?”
“Because I didn’t know what you or Twilight would think,” Sunset said. “I mean, you know how insecure Twilight can be. I still have no idea how she’d react to me dating your human counterpart. And at first I didn’t know what was going on between us, so it didn’t seem like something I needed to tell anyone. We kind of started dating right away, but we never called it that. We never really decided what we were to each other for a while. By the time I realized how serious our relationship was, I had already started talking about her as Morning Breeze, and I felt like I was backed into the lie. I felt so stupid admitting that I’d been lying about who I was dating for so long, that I wound up just lying some more.”
Fluttershy sighed. “Sunset, you could have told us at any time. She’s not me, no matter how similar we are.” She shook her head. “And I’m not her either, you know.”
“I know.” Sunset never could figure out where her feelings for one Fluttershy ended and the other began. It was obvious that a lot of her attraction to Fluttershy was based on familiarity, but there was still more to it. When she first came to Equestria she was definitely reminded of the human Fluttershy whenever she was around the pony one, but she didn’t actually feel like she was in love with her until later, after spending more time with her and learning what made this Fluttershy unique.
Embarrassed by her confession and off-put by recalling her last relationship, Sunset lay back on the couch and covered herself with the blanket. Fluttershy seemed to have the same idea, curling up on the chair. Sunset wasn’t sure what to say next. She wanted to ask what would happen now. She couldn’t blame Fluttershy if she wanted her to move out, or even to never talk to Twilight again. She could move back to Canterlot. Apply to work under Celestia. Continue her research, or pick up a different field. Living with Luna would be fun. And maybe, once they worked everything out, Twilight and Fluttershy would still visit her when they had business in Canterlot.
Sunset rubbed her eyes and shook her head. She had to leave before she made a foal of herself. “I’m sorry, for everything. I’m… I’m gonna get out of your hair.” She got up and ignored the shaky feeling in her legs as she walked to the door.
“Sunset.”
She stopped and turned to see Fluttershy was looking in her general direction, even if she wasn’t looking right at her. “Yeah?”
“Uhm… what do you plan on doing?” Fluttershy asked.
“I don’t know,” Sunset said. All she knew for sure was that she didn’t feel right being at Fluttershy’s house. Where she’d go once she was gone was thinking way further ahead than she was able to.
“You, uhm… are you going to go out drinking again?”
Sunset blushed. She hadn’t planned on it, but it was undeniably where her day would probably end. “I, uh… I don’t know.”
“Please don’t. Or, uhm, at least not so much.” Fluttershy stood up as well, but stayed by the chair. “I just… worry about you.”
Sunset blinked a few times and forgot to avoid looking at Fluttershy. “You… really? Even after, well, everything?”
Fluttershy sighed and walked towards her, stopping close enough that they would be face to face if Fluttershy looked up. “Sunset, I’m still angry with you. All of this could have probably been avoided if you hadn’t tried to hide so much. And I don’t even know exactly how I feel about what happened with you and Twilight.” Fluttershy looked up, actually making eye contact. “But yes, I still worry about you. We’re friends, after all.”
Sunset bowed her head and had to fight the urge to hug Fluttershy. Even if they were still friends she’d probably still needed some distance. “Fluttershy, I… Thank you.”
“Come on,” Fluttershy said, walking past Sunset and opening the door. “We should talk to Twilight.”
“What? Together?” Sunset shook her head, not wanting Fluttershy to get the idea that she’d planned on talking to Twilight by herself. “I mean, wouldn’t you rather go without me?”
Fluttershy let out a small laugh. “Yeah, I don’t really want to talk to her yet, either. But I think we’d all like to find a way to move on, and we’re not going to do that if we all keep avoiding each other.”
Sunset could only nod and walk out the door. Sometimes what Sunset loved the most about Fluttershy were the ways she was different from the human one.
There was definitely an ominous feeling as they walked into the castle, and Sunset suspected she wasn’t the only one who wanted to turn back.
“Where do you think she is?” Fluttershy asked.
Sunset chuckled. “Where else? The library.”
Fluttershy smiled a little. “You’re probably right.”
Even though they walked upstairs together in silence, the simple interaction helped dispel some of the tension. It had been the first time they talked since leaving the cottage, and Fluttershy had smiled. Sort of. It was enough for the time being, and more than Sunset felt like she deserved.
Twilight was nowhere to be found. After the library, they checked her bedroom, the kitchen, and the basement, but still didn’t find her. Fluttershy did find Angel along the way, and he looked angrier than Sunset remembered ever seeing him. After apologizing multiple times for leaving the rabbit alone, he hopped away, apparently still mad at being forgotten. Fluttershy just sighed and shook her head, saying that he’d come around.
They eventually decided that she must not be home and went to the only place they hadn’t checked: Spike’s room. Fluttershy knocked, but he didn’t answer. “They must have went out.”
“Probably,” Sunset said. Just to make sure, she opened the door and stuck her head in. “Spike, you in here?”
She was answered by a snore.
Fluttershy giggled and walked in, Sunset following behind. Spike was curled on his bed, his claw resting on volume three of The Sandmare, which was still open to the page he’d been on. “Spike,” Fluttershy said, shaking him gently.
“Hmm?” Spike sat up and rubbed his eyes.
“Do you know where Twilight is?” Fluttershy asked.
Spike stretched and stood up, but he still seemed half asleep. “Yeah, she went to the Crystal Empire.”
Sunset and Fluttershy exchanged worried looks. “Is everything okay?” Fluttershy asked.
“Yeah, everything’s alright. Hold on, she left a letter.” Spike scurried to a desk and picked up a letter, which was still rolled and sealed. No matter what, it seemed Twilight was nothing if not proper.
“Has she been gone since she left yesterday afternoon?” Fluttershy asked as she unrolled the letter.
“No, she came back last night,” Spike said. “She said she’d spent all day around town and then just started packing.”
Fluttershy nodded and read the letter silently, frowning the entire time.
Spike tapped his claws together. “She, uh, she really messed up this time, didn’t she.”
Sunset blushed and stared at her hooves. She wondered how much Twilight had told Spike. Fluttershy looked away from the letter and gave a comforting smile. “Well… yes, she did. But it’s okay, we’re going to work everything out.” She gave Spike a hug before returning to the letter. When she was done she set it aside and turned to Sunset. “She went to talk to Cadance about it. She said she’ll be back before our anniversary.”
Sunset felt a weight hit her in the stomach. “Oh geez, I completely forgot your anniversary is coming up.”
Fluttershy nodded. “In four days.”
“Four days?” Sunset wanted to disappear. She’d kissed somepony’s fiancée, and it had been a week before their anniversary.
Fluttershy took a deep breath and smiled again. “Now, I think somedragon has been taking advantage of nopony being around. When did you go to bed last night?”
Spike scratched at the back of his neck. “I, uhm…”
“Did you go to bed last night?” Sunset asked.
Spike tapped his claws together and grinned sheepishly. “Uh, well…”
Fluttershy sighed. “Okay, time to put that book away and get some rest.”
Spike nodded and did as she said, putting the book back on the small bookshelf he had full of comics, as well as clearing off other miscellaneous things he’d accumulated on his bed during his all night reading marathon.
“But don’t think you’re sleeping the day away,” Sunset said. “I’ll wake you up in a bit so you’re not too well rested to sleep tonight.”
“Okay,” Spike said. He must have been exhausted because usually he protested being told to go to bed.
Once he climbed in bed Fluttershy pulled his blanket over him and kissed his forehead. “Sweet dreams.”
Spike yawned and was fast on his way to sleep. Sunset and Fluttershy quietly left the room. In the hall, Fluttershy noticed Sunset was smiling at her. “What?”
“Nothing,” Sunset said. She turned and led the way back downstairs. “Just that you’d make an amazing mom.”
Fluttershy laughed. “You know, I think you would too.”
Sunset was glad she was walking ahead of Fluttershy. It was brief, but for a moment she allowed her smile to disappear before remembering to stay positive. “I really doubt parenthood is in my future.”
“Really? I’d like to have foals,” Fluttershy said.
“You totally should,” Sunset said. “I can’t imagine anypony being better parents than you and Twilight.”
“Maybe.” Fluttershy sounded much less certain than before.
‘Why’d I say that?’ Sunset sighed. “I’m sorry. That was… I shouldn’t have brought that up.”
“Oh, it’s not that,” Fluttershy said. “It’s just, well, I don’t think Twilight wants foals.”
“I’m not really surprised. She can be kind of a nervous wreck sometimes.” They stopped at the foot of the stairs. “Still, she practically raised Spike. I bet with enough coaxing you could get her over her worries, and I know she’d be a good mom.”
“I think so too,” Fluttershy said.
They stood together in silence for a moment, neither knowing what they should do. “So… now what?” Sunset asked.
Fluttershy looked around. “I think I’m going back to my cottage for now. I just…”
“Yeah, I understand,” Sunset said. She wished she had her own place to escape too, and she knew it was much worse for Fluttershy.
“Will you watch over Spike?” Fluttershy asked. “I know he’s usually okay on his own, but he’s still just a kid.”
“Of course. I’ll make sure he stays out of trouble.”
“Thank you. And uhm, take care of yourself too, okay?”
Sunset nodded. “Yeah, you got it.”
Before leaving, Fluttershy went upstairs to collect a few things. She came back down with Angel popping his head out of her saddlebag. They said their goodbyes and Fluttershy left, telling Angel how she was going to make it up to him with a special treat when they got to the cottage.
Sunset first decided to do something about her lingering hangover and went into the kitchen. She started with a tall glass of water and followed with a sandwich. Once she was finished, and with little else to do, she decided to try and distract herself by working on the radio. Once she reached the basement, however, it didn’t take her long at all to decide she didn’t want to be there, so she grabbed some books to bring back upstairs.
She made herself comfortable in the sitting room and flipped through the books. It proved more fruitful than she had thought it would, as she barely found herself sidetracked by her thoughts. Even if she wasn’t proud of the way it came about, talking with Fluttershy lifted a lot of the weight she’d been carrying. She was still nervous about what would happen, but she allowed herself to be optimistic. She still suspected she might be moving out, but doubted it would be back to Canterlot. And really, having her own house in Ponyville was probably for the best, she reasoned.
Even though reading was easier than she thought, after a few hours she decided it was time to wake up Spike. She was looking forward to his company. The two of them often bonded over comics, with Spike becoming enthralled in The Sandmare. He was interested in some of the other classic comics Sunset used to read as a filly, and always happy to show her some of the newer ones he was keeping up with now. Twilight said she couldn’t understand why a grown mare would read those stories, but Sunset had caught her taking a peek at The Sandmare while she thought nopony was looking.
She was planning on waking the sleeping dragon after finishing the chapter she was on, but a knock on the door interrupted her first. Not really regretting the excuse to set the book aside, she got up to answer it, finding Rainbow Dash on the other side.
“Hey, Rainbow,” Sunset said. “If you’re looking for Fluttershy she’s at her house.”
Rainbow stepped past Sunset, who closed the door behind her. “Is Twilight here?” she asked.
“No, she’s actually out of town for a few days.” Sunset knew if Fluttershy had seen Rainbow anytime in the past couple days, it would mean that Rainbow knew about the kiss. She sincerely hoped that wasn’t the case, but as Rainbow turned to look at her she could already tell it was.
“Good. We need to talk,” Rainbow said.
Sunset sighed. “Yeah, okay. So I’m guessing Fluttershy probably told you everything?” She was tempted to lead them back to the sitting room, but Rainbow seemed fine with talking in the foyer. She hoped that meant the conversation would stay short.
“Yeah, so what gives?” Rainbow asked, shaking her head. “Fluttershy trusted you, so you kiss her fiancée? What the buck, Sunset?”
Sunset took a deep breath. So far it was just a question. Just because the other Rainbow Dash was an insufferably antagonistic bitch didn’t mean this one was. “I know I screwed up big time, but it’s never going to happen again.”
“No, it’s not,” Rainbow said, her tone making it clear what she intended to do if Sunset broke her word. “But that’s not really what I want to know. Why did you do it?”
“I, uhm…” Sunset blushed but held Rainbow’s gaze. She’d already been through this with Fluttershy and she’d have to do it all over again with Twilight. Why was she explaining herself to Rainbow too?
“Okay, so you love her.” Rainbow shrugged. “Guess that was pretty obvious.”
Sunset opened her mouth to deny it, then decided there was no real point. Fluttershy would tell her that, too.
Rainbow seemed to take her silence as a confirmation. “So then why did she kiss you?”
Sunset shook her head. “How should I know? I really don’t think she loves me if that’s what you’re getting at.”
“Pretty sure I’d know why somepony was kissing me.” Rainbow narrowed her eyes. “Not to mention whatever else you two might have been up to.”
“What? We didn’t do anything else! I would never do that to anypony, and especially not to Fluttershy. And neither would Twilight. You know that as well as I do.”
“I’m just saying you two spent a lot of time alone together. Time you could have spent doing more than just making out...”
Sunset gritted her teeth and tried to remain calm. “We weren’t making out, and we definitely weren’t having sex. It was one kiss. It was stupid and it never should have happened, but nothing else happened between us.”
Rainbow raised an eyebrow. “You do realize how crazy that sounds, right?”
“I swear, that’s all it ever was. What do you want me to say?”
“Whatever,” Rainbow said. “Not like I expected you to admit to anything anyway.”
“I’m telling the truth!”
Rainbow shrugged. “So when is Twilight coming back?”
“She didn’t say specifically,” Sunset said. “Just that it would be within the next four days.”
“Alright. We’ll figure out what really happened once she’s back, anyway.”
“So, what?” Sunset asked. “You’ll believe Twilight when she tells you?”
Rainbow rolled her eyes. “Twilight’s gonna crack and tell Fluttershy one way or another. So if you are hiding anything, it would really be better for you to come out with it.”
“I’m not hiding anything.” Sunset glared intensely.
“You better not be.” Rainbow made a show of nonchalantly brushing off her shoulder. “Anyway, that’s not even what I really want to talk to you about.”
“Then what do you want?” Sunset asked testily.
“I want to tell you that you need to figure out what you’re doing here,” Rainbow had been fairly calm for the most part, but now her tone was more serious and she gave Sunset her full attention. “Because right now you’re causing problems for ponies that are supposed to be your friends.”
“I’m not trying to get in the way of their marriage!” Sunset said, louder than she wanted to.
“Well, that’s exactly what you’re doing.” Rainbow kept her voice quieter than Sunset’s, but not by much.
“And I’m sorry for that, but I want them to be happy together, and I will make this up to them.”
“And how exactly do you plan on doing that?”
“I don’t know yet.” Sunset averted her gaze for a moment before turning back to Rainbow and scowling. “I’ll figure it out when Twilight gets back, though. You don’t have to worry about it.” She pushed her hoof into Rainbow’s chest.
Rainbow narrowed her eyes. “Watch yourself, Sunset.”
“Watch myself!?” Sunset hadn’t been the one to start this. Rainbow had been the one who started accusing her of things. “You’re the one who pushed herself into something that didn’t involve you. I already talked to Fluttershy and we’re going to talk to Twilight.”
“Fluttershy is way too trusting, especially with Twilight, so I –”
“Fluttershy is a grown mare, Rainbow.” Sunset stepped closer, closing the distance and standing at her full height so she was looking down at Rainbow. “She’s perfectly capable of making her own decisions.”
Rather than be intimidated by Sunset’s larger size, Rainbow just scowled and pushed her face towards Sunset’s. “You’re making it pretty clear that there’s only one right decision here! Why don’t you just go back through the mirror? It’d make everything a whole lot easier.”
“Yeah? And so would minding your own damn business!”
They held each other’s glares for a moment before Rainbow pushed past her, ramming her shoulder into Sunset’s chest as she went. “You’re bucking crazy.”
Sunset just scowled at her as she slammed the door. Who the hell did Rainbow think she was? What right did she have to accuse Sunset of anything?
Sunset stormed upstairs and went straight to her room. She bent under her bed and retrieved a box, which she levitated behind her as she made her way into the basement. She set the box on a table and closed the door behind her. Rainbow had been way out of line. Sunset wouldn’t even worry about her. If Fluttershy and Twilight were able to look past everything then that should be enough.
She opened the box, moving aside several partial bottles of wine. Eventually she found something that would suffice, opening a fresh bottle of vodka. She didn’t have any glasses but it didn’t really matter. “To hell with her,” Sunset said to herself before taking a huge swig from the bottle.
Yay for fluttershy having a proactive approach. I'm not sure what did it but this version of rainbow dash as loyal friend rings true. She's got the bluntness, the snark and a kind of passionate anger that from the events seem fitting and I can really understand. I'm doubtful her approach does a great job of communicating as opposed to attacking but it makes sense in a way that I can empathize with.
Rd reads like more then just the cardboard cutout like she can be used like in fics.
As to sunset jeez what a messy intertwined set of situations. She's walking from place to place, looking for some peace but she can't find it anywhere (if you get this reference its an eerie thing to see in an mlp context). She goes to the human world to flee celestial, goes to equestrian to take stock/get away from the happenings with "morning breeze". Now she flees reality on an alcoholic boat. I just hope she doesn't end up like Peace Walker.
6768819
I'm particularly glad to hear that, since everyone else who read this took issue with Rainbow. Writing from Sunset's perspective it's easier to take Sunset's side, but I do think Rainbow's actions are justified here. Not helpful, but understandable if you look at it from her perspective instead of Sunset's. Especially reading through the lines of an unreliable narrator, as Rainbow was just calmly (and bluntly) asking reasonable questions until Sunset was the one to get angry.
You're also the first person to use the word alcoholic to describe Sunset. I've been avoiding the term because I wanted people to realize she has a problem without having to spell it out. Needless to say this was just the comment I've been wanting to see
I'm guessing the reference is to Metal Great Solid, because I recognize the name Peace Walker. I haven't played any of those games although it is a series I'm very much interested in trying. I adore complicated stories that aren't told in chronological order.
I know there not the most constructive comments but everything, just everything. I love almost everything in this chapter. I would say what will happen in the next chapter but you have been known to do what I least expect.
My favorite part was when Sunset just cracked under her guilt and told FlutterShy the truth. But, I would have still loved it if SS and RD had a fight.
6770021
I just love hearing from people. Constructive comments or just reactions, I love them all
Fun fact: there's 2,500 words in this chapter before Sunset or Fluttershy even stand up. That whole conversation stands out as one of my favorite things I've written. Glad you agree
I don't usually write physical fights, but I have in the past so who knows?
I do, but I'm not telling.They may yet come to violence!Hi
First of i am Sorry what happend to youre brother.
Now to the story i liked the chapter ALOT and it even got me to get angry at a fictional pony.
Sunset stop Bucking drinking and go wake spike up. Great how Fluttershy wants to work things Out.go fluttershy (\(^_^)/) and About rd i would say somthing but well idk how to translate it from german to english (i know Google translator but it's 2 am in the morning here in germany and second it's a pain to write all this on a Handy with german autocorrectur. So i say it's well writen and I total understand rd here6770210
I was wondering if anyone would notice Sunset didn't wake Spike. I also expected people to be a lot more anti Rainbow at this point, pretty happy that most people seem to realize she wasn't being completely unreasonable. When I was originally planning this I thought Fluttershy would be a lot angrier, then writing it I realized it just didn't work. It's not that she's too nice to be angry, but she is a very understanding pony. Plus Sunset was just being so sad, and who could stay angry at that?
First, condolences about your family situation, I'm eager to read more of this story but real life takes priority of course.
Second- Yay, Sunset's up and sober and... that didn't last long. Talk about a messy situation, Sunset must really be mixing up a lot of people and ponies in her head by now, between human and pony Fluttershy and Rainbow Dash. I side with Sunset more, but RD's position is understandable, with how protective she is of Fluttershy. Too bad Twilight's off with Cadance now, but hopefully she'll have sorted out how she feels by the time she comes back. Unless they make it a threesome rather than just a couple, that would solve things fast.
Hope Sunset's drinking doesn't spiral too much out of control... wait, it probably already has. Doesn't help that Sunset is still kind of an outsider compared to the rest of the Mane Six who will support each other more, well, unless Amber or Luna show up as support too. Hope Twilight returns soon, they need to sort this all out.
6773238
Thank you. I'm eager to get back to writing, actually, but I can't seem to focus when I try to write. Hopefully I'll be back in the swing of things soon.
Arguments where people can take either side are definitely one of my favorite things in stories. I may occasionally write one party being definitely in the wrong, but usually I think situations are more complicated then that.
I'm sure all the mane six would sooner band together, but it's especially true in Rainbow's case. She grew up protecting Fluttershy and that's always what will come naturally for her.
Sunset: confound these rainbow dashes they drive me to drink
But seriously good on RD for sticking up for Fluttershy in her own way and not being intimidated in the slightest by the most powerful unicorn in Equestria that given the motivation could seriously mess her up in all kinds of ways with her magic and mind.
Also Fluttershy? More like flutteryoukissedmytwilightliedtomegotdrunkbutyeahiforgiveyoufriendshy
Whenever I come back to this, or even just think back to this, something bothers me.
Rainbow Dash emotionally attacked a broken individual, pretty brutally no less. Rainbow Dash tried to control the lives of Twilight and Fluttershy without so much as consulting either of them. Rainbow Dash even managed to put Spike at risk.
No one ever so much as has a talk with Rainbow about how, maybe, this was a less than good idea. (I will expand on this claim at great length; for now, though, I'm moving on.)
If Fluttershy hadn't already taken steps to prevent Sunset from leaving, Rainbow would have succeeded in her goal of driving Sunset out of the world, quite possibly never to return. (And, necessarily, Rainbow would have succeeded in her goal of taking control of Fluttershy and Twilight's lives away from Fluttershy and Twilight respectively.)
The fact that Sunset is having suicidal ideation* (even if it is of a fairly passive sort) after Rainbow confronted her isn't remotely surprising. I'm honestly not sure what, if anything, Rainbow would have done or said differently if she were actively trying to make Sunset suicidal.
Before Rainbow got there she thought she didn't belong in the castle. After Rainbow she thought she didn't belong in the word. The first allows for a place that she does belong (a home of her own in Ponyville) the second really doesn't. If you accept that you're terrible enough that an entire world has no place for you, that doesn't exactly leave you with much reason to believe you'll find a place for yourself in the next world over.
None of this is me saying that Rainbow Dash is a bad pony. If someone laid everything out for her, I'm pretty sure that her response would be to never do anything like that again. No one does, though, and you can't work to fix a problem when you don't realize it exists.
Ok, so, this is where I address the thing I'd expand on.
Other than Sunset's breakdown, the only response we see to Rainbow's part in the confrontation is that Fluttershy feels "a little disappointed in both [Rainbow and Sunset]." The reason that I don't think this involved Fluttershy talking to Rainbow about what I'm talking about is that a little disappointment isn't really a reasonable response, and neither is putting what Rainbow did on the same level as Sunset being defensive because Rainbow showed up looking for a fight. (It would be a massive case of false equivalence.)
I could be way off here, but my reading is that Fluttershy doesn't know. From what she says in Chapter 12, it seems like she thinks that that Rainbow showed up, asked Sunset if she and Twilight had had sex, acted like she thought Sunset was lying when she said they hadn't, and . . . that's it.
When Fluttershy says that Rainbow was trying to give advice, for example, she never even comes near the advice that Rainbow actually gave. So much of Chapter 12 is devoted to topic of whether or not Sunset should leave, yet not a single word mentions that it was Rainbow's idea. Right up until Rainbow showed up, Sunset was planning on doing exactly what Fluttershy wanted her to do. After Rainbow's "there’s only one right decision here!" thing, Sunset thought there was only one right decision there, and it certainly wasn't doing what Fluttershy wanted.
While she might have been pissed, the next chapter indicates that Sunset agrees with almost everything Rainbow said. She's taken all the advice Rainbow gave, and taken it to heart. She thinks she deserves the abuse. She thinks these things are obvious to the point she'd let them go without saying if she could, and (when it turns out they can't) it never even occurs to her to point out that this was the stuff Rainbow had been saying to her.
So, given all of that, it could be impossible, in-universe, for anyone to actually hold Rainbow Dash accountable for her actions because Sunset doesn't think Rainbow was wrong about that part of what she said, and no one else knows what happened.
If that's the case, though, the implications are downright disturbing. Because it means that she'll do it again. Don't know where; don't know when, but something like that doesn't come out of nowhere, and it's not the sort of problem that can be resolved with:
It's still there, waiting, and it's ready to pounce on Rainbow's next victim. All because Rainbow doesn't realize what she's doing.
* "Maybe soon I’ll drink myself out of everyone’s lives for good" (given the context in which it was said, of course) is enough to make Sunset score higher on those suicide assessment questions than I ever have, and I don't even know the last time I actually wanted to be alive.
9876434
This took a while to reply to because it took a while to read, mostly because I generally agree with you, to an extent. I do think you're undermining how serious this situation is from Rainbow's point of view here, which is significant in that it'll make it less likely for this to happen again; she would need an equally serious situation to pop up. As far as she sees this, Sunset is coming in and ruining her sister's marriage before it every happens (she has no reason to believe that it was only one kiss, after all). She would need something equally big to have the same reaction. As for why it's the way it is, it's because I was focused solely on making sure Rainbow had solid reasoning, and not focused on making sure she had lessons for her actions.
That's not to say I shouldn't have done more with someone having a talk with Rainbow. But all I can say on that is you can look at this situation one of two ways. You can take the Watsonian view you're taking in your comment and look at it as a fault of the characters, or you can take the Doylist view that I'm taking and look at it as a fault of the author. Because when it comes down to it, this is the fault of the author. Should I have written a scene like that? Yeah, I'll agree I should have. But I didn't because I frankly didn't think of it. Whether you decide to continue to blame the characters for me not thinking of something is up to you (Watsonian thinking definitely says you should).
Unless I think of a good way to edit an existing scene when I eventually make the audio and print versions of this story (which will involve me cleaning things up, but not involve me adding whole new scenes) this will stay as is because the story's done and I dislike adding new scenes to existing stories (with one exception, but that was making a major overhaul which to an existing story, something I don't think it's needed here). But in any event, I'll consider that in the future when I make edits to see if I can squeeze something in there.
I really thought that section about foals was going to have Sunset break and tell Fluttershy the whole story. I'm really hoping that conversation happens; I need those sad-but-it's-over-now feels.
I can't help but imagine her sitting in a therapist's couch, with square glasses and a serious scrutinizing face, her hind legs crossed and the book is like an old, huge tome, like something Twilight would read
Now I feel like she took of her glasses and is still glaring at Sunset, stoically
I'm kinda scared actually
I won't even bother saying I'm in agony or screaming. Oh sure I'm doing both but I'm pretty sure you know that by now.
Oh boy the universe really hates Sunset (I'm looking at you Bun)
She looked down from the book towards the news sitting on her lap. The headline read: 'POLYAMORY: WITCHCRAFT, SATANISM OR BOTH?' She sighed, unimpressed.
On that I can agree
It's like
Hhhhhng the other Fluttershy was a kid, quite literally
Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
dies a little
Gods above, below and all in between, Dear Loki have mercy this is giving me a huge sense of deja vu
sighs why am I reading this again? Wasn't this supposed to be the sequ- well. Oh, well. sweats nervously not again, please
muffled screaming
Why is this happening again no! I refuse to see these two going at it again, this is horrible is shaking
I mean, she's not wrong in this particular scenario
Gods.
sputters and laughs goodness Sunset, is that your answer for everything?
Tf
...You wanna go two for two in destroying friendships with Rainbow, Sunset? This is how you go two for two.
Sunset you really should have left the bottle behind in Everton.
For being so attached to the element of honesty Sunset sure does underestimate the power of open honest communication between friends. Fluttershy was dead write that if Sunset had just been honest about dating human!Fluttershy then horse!Fluttershy and horse!Twilight would probably already be mackin’ on her together right now...
10183062
Lol well it would've taken more than just owning up to having dated human Shy, but it would have been a solid start!
This story makes me wanna relapse. (I can't drink nowadays without risking hospitalization and death cuz of a medical issue, but this makes me wanna crack two fifths of whiskey like it's nobody's fuckin business...)
Kudos for The Sandmare tho. Gaiman rules.
10443198
Oof, well let's not do that. I'm sorry this story has had that effect, but it does confront Sunset's alcoholism directly soon.
There are several references to Gaiman's work throughout this series, he's my favorite author I also noticed your avatar and screen name were references to The Sandman, so I figured you'd catch that
oof
too bad
she's in the crystal empire
good decisions abound!
and if what i remember is correct, she essentially comes back like "i've got all the answers!" and fluttershy's like "i spent the past 3 days talking to sunset and have many opinions" "i no longer have any answers!"
heh, busted
oh dear
Alternate title: These Horses Aren't All Right
I'm noticing a disturbing pattern here, of Sunset being overprotective of even this Fluttershy, lying to her, not letting her get words in. I hope she shapes herself up.
Love how Rainbow is definitely a different person here.
...Uh, Sunset, this does not qualify as "taking care of yourself". >:|
Probably because you got a hang over from all the alcohol you had.
See, was that really hard enough to confess.
She's right. There's no better time than the present to do so.
Sometimes I forget how different angel is in Equestria compared to in eqg.
Your making it worse Dash!!!
I blame Rainbow for this one! 😡
Good Decisions™
Sunset returning to bad habits and waking up to even more regrets. Yep.
Well, I can't really fault Rainbow for being concerned about Fluttershy and Twilight though she does, as usual, ride right on that line of going a bit too far. Considering the last few ponies I recall her taking this approach with being a bit more on the submissive side I did get a little bit of satisfaction watching Sunset standing even against her.
And we haven't even gotten to the full agonizing truth yet!