As a clarification amongst my last comment; what sort of sick fetishes would one hafta have to enjoy reading this, or worse, write this? This is an abomination amongst FiMFiction.net, and an insult to the art of the book. I nearly stopped reading at least three times because of the horrid nature of this story. If you're going to write something like this, try to write it in a gruesome way that makes it qualify under gore/horror. That, while possibly being far more gross in general terms, would be a suspenseful, interesting read. Better luck with your next story, jincho, this one really just didn't fit within the realm of my enjoyment. This is all opinion, by the way, and I hold no responsibility for how anyone else may view such a fic. I completely understand that there are people with sick fetishes that will enjoy the content of this read.
6540464 Ahh, but you see, I have no sick fetishes, the gore was merely a suggestion. At most, I have... a great sense of adventure, and will read just about any adventure fic, as long as it has a believable set of characters and a fitting storyline. I can't say I necessarily enjoy stories that qualify as a similar type as this one, (some sort of sick fetish) but I am tolerant of most and can think along the same sick path if need be. In short, I'm a wierd person.
6540480 You're acting really defensive and opinionated about this. You could have just said this wasn't your kind of story and left it at that. You went on a bashing rant and then gave a really defensive response to the author's comment. You're your own person and can do what you want, but those in glass houses would be best advised to not throw stones.
6544237 I never threw stones. I might have defended my personal lack of "sick fetishes", but I never went on a true rant. I provided an opinion with the intention of helping the author see what could have been done differently, as well as provided a personal opinion on the side. I may say this is an abomination among FiMFiction, etc., but I cannot deny the existence of the audience that could enjoy this as-is, nor the audience that could enjoy this if it were written with a different set of ideas thrown in. And as a side thought, the house of the internet is made of steel, so as to withstand the giant boulders that are constantly tossed around within.
6544702 You're still on the defensive. A person who really didn't care that much wouldn't be shooting reply after reply at everyone trying to counter their opinion. I admit that I care because I don't like people going on bash rants and then trying to defend their stuff as "opinion" and "critique." You are entitled to your opinions and that's fine, but bashing someone else's work and trying to hide behind free speech is cowardly. Just admit you hate the concept and stop trying to justify your opinion that this is an "abomination."
6545389 I'm sorry that I don't keep my replies simple and to the point. Force of habit. Yes, it didn't exactly appeal to my tastes. No, that doesn't mean I hate it because of that. I apologize if I appear to be a self-concealed hater with the way I (over?)explain things. All I wanted was to provide criticism and opinion, and it appears to have devolved into a textual argument about... me being a defensive hater, or whatever. Many times I carry my defensive words to the keyboard merely because I have nothing better to do, not because I neccesarily care. If you want me to shut up, I'll shut up. All you gotta do is ask, and I will stop replying on this specific argumentary chain of comments and find something else to entertain myself with.
6545792 You're free to do as you please. Most issues arise from lack of proper communication. I thank you for clarifying your words and offer my own advice in return. You do give off the impression of being very defensive and your responses are very wordy. Things like that tend to attract the comments of people less patient or considerate than myself. Consider it a friendly warning to avoid troll feeding in the future. : 3
6540449 Bondage, femsub, bimbofication, transformation... there's a lot of fetishes to choose from. But eh, I guess you'll just call them all "sick" and rant some more about how it's all an abomination of the written word.
I'm glad you at least acknowledge that your opinion isn't worth anything more than someone who does enjoy the story for its contents.
Good & Interesting story, I'm curious on how Octavia & Rarity & Romance are gonna fit the story, I'm also curious on what type of Hypnotism you're gonna use, Simple Helmet, Spell, Swirl screens, or maybe A Mind Break? All I know is that Minty will be getting the "Attitude adjustment" Pink Paradise thinks all mares should be.
Also, I'm faving, tracking & watching, you deserve it.
Although I technically did sign myself up for this because I read the fetish warning. I can't help but feel bad about this. I mean, it seemed pretty hot at first but it trailed off into darkness after awhile. I don't know what else to say about this, but here's the weird thing about this for me, I want to find out how the next chapter goes...
Honestly, I think this story would be much better, if she had found ''randomly'' the coupon in her mail or something like that... instead of guys giving it to her. The later just give ''we will rape you after you're made to accept it'' vibes, which doesn't help the story.
I'm not talking about the quality of the writing. I'm talking about the story.
Basically: 1. After almost molesting her, she defends herself with a kick, knocks her attackers down, etc. 2. They "apologize" with a coupon to a spa. 3. Said spa is pretty "Stand out", not a small thing. 4. It has not been shut down, despite this kidnap, molestation, effectively rape, etc.
How in the heck is this place still up and standing? What is two ponies entered, and one was sitting, the other standing -- one gets taken, and the other flees out the front door, and calls for help. How does this place operate -- who pays the bills, etc. Who built it. Didn't anyone building it voice any concerns? Has no one come in to look at it, find no one, repeatedly, and not asked around? How is there no "Danger", "warning", or anything else on the building? What the heck happens if a male shows up? How does it prevent any unicorn from using magic to blast out? Heck, how about an earth pony using physical strength? What about a cell phone if this is an EqG style setting?
And that's BEFORE the whole "We reshape females based on what we think males like; a female's job is only to show off to stallions" bit.
For that matter, what does this story have to do with ponies at all at this point? Even thinking of anthro ponies, it feels more like a human story than a pony story.
And what does it say about other readers that, with just this one chapter, called it "excellent, can't wait for more"? I'm at least going to skim the next few chapters, and see if there's anything worth reading, but if I only saw this one chapter, I wouldn't come back.
It's "not pony related" because it's an implausible establishment? Gee, that's the first time I thought of that when I saw fan material.
Or do you just mean the story itself is not very tightly bound to canon? By that standard, you could axe the vast majority of works on this site (no offense to all their creators).
Really, I don't know why you're acting like this story is claiming to be any more than it is. And to answer your question: it's already been implied that the whole business venture has far more reach than just this one boutique. Those who run it have ways to deal with any "whistleblowers".
First, sorry, I forgot that replying to a message defaults to posting on the latest chapter, not the chapter the original was on.
At the moment, I've only read chapter 1, and am not sure if I should read more.
When I said that it doesn't seem pony related, I mean it seems like something that would exist in a normal world of people, not a world with unicorns, pegasi, and earth ponies; a world run and ruled by harmony magic, with cutie mark talents that runs the whole range of abilities, of which we see nothing.
"Hello?" she called out hesitantly. Her arms and legs slowly pushed her up. "Anyone out there?"
There are a number of references to human, or human-ish body parts; yet there are also references to mares, or other pony-adjectives/pronouns.
If this was an EqG style "humane" world, we would see modern tech, and no references to people being ponies.
Conclusion: This is an "anthro-pony" world, at best. But with all the automation we see here, we should be seeing modern tech, along with harmony/cutie mark magic -- and we see none of it.
We see what appears to be an earth pony main character, with no indication of a cutie mark/special talent, no earth pony strength other than the initial "she kicked her attackers, and they gave her a coupon to apologize", there's nothing else -- no attempt to kick the door down, or even clobber that scanner that refused to let her out.
So I'm looking for anything that would show this as being in the MLP world, or any variant of the MLP world. And I don't.
Really, I don't know why you're acting like this story is claiming to be any more than it is.
And if I were to ask "what is it claiming to be", after only reading chapter 1?
It's "not pony related" because it's an implausible establishment?
No. Because it's such an implausible establishment, I have to wonder if there is any way to have this, in a world where something like this would have a team of unicorns tearing it down if you have pony magic, or where modern tech would have it exposed and raided if it were an EqG style world.
Awesome so far, can't wait for the rest.
The fuck... dafickisthisshit??!??
Interesting, there aren't any pure Bimbofication stories on here, usually there's something else to it. Also, it's Octavia, Minty is from G3
Excellent so far, hope it gets updated soon!
As a clarification amongst my last comment; what sort of sick fetishes would one hafta have to enjoy reading this, or worse, write this? This is an abomination amongst FiMFiction.net, and an insult to the art of the book. I nearly stopped reading at least three times because of the horrid nature of this story. If you're going to write something like this, try to write it in a gruesome way that makes it qualify under gore/horror. That, while possibly being far more gross in general terms, would be a suspenseful, interesting read. Better luck with your next story, jincho, this one really just didn't fit within the realm of my enjoyment. This is all opinion, by the way, and I hold no responsibility for how anyone else may view such a fic. I completely understand that there are people with sick fetishes that will enjoy the content of this read.
6540449
Thanks for the comment. I'm sure you'll find stories to satisfy your own "sick fetishes" elsewhere. Have a nice day!
6540464 Ahh, but you see, I have no sick fetishes, the gore was merely a suggestion. At most, I have... a great sense of adventure, and will read just about any adventure fic, as long as it has a believable set of characters and a fitting storyline. I can't say I necessarily enjoy stories that qualify as a similar type as this one, (some sort of sick fetish) but I am tolerant of most and can think along the same sick path if need be. In short, I'm a wierd person.
Interesting enough start ...
Nice to see another member of the club.
One thing, though. When it says,
Shouldn't that "the new color of her coat." since this is written in third-person?
Other than that minor quibble ... this shows potential.
How is a story with these elements not considered 'dark'?!
6540480 You're acting really defensive and opinionated about this. You could have just said this wasn't your kind of story and left it at that. You went on a bashing rant and then gave a really defensive response to the author's comment. You're your own person and can do what you want, but those in glass houses would be best advised to not throw stones.
6544237 I never threw stones. I might have defended my personal lack of "sick fetishes", but I never went on a true rant. I provided an opinion with the intention of helping the author see what could have been done differently, as well as provided a personal opinion on the side. I may say this is an abomination among FiMFiction, etc., but I cannot deny the existence of the audience that could enjoy this as-is, nor the audience that could enjoy this if it were written with a different set of ideas thrown in.
And as a side thought, the house of the internet is made of steel, so as to withstand the giant boulders that are constantly tossed around within.
6544702 You're still on the defensive. A person who really didn't care that much wouldn't be shooting reply after reply at everyone trying to counter their opinion. I admit that I care because I don't like people going on bash rants and then trying to defend their stuff as "opinion" and "critique." You are entitled to your opinions and that's fine, but bashing someone else's work and trying to hide behind free speech is cowardly. Just admit you hate the concept and stop trying to justify your opinion that this is an "abomination."
6545389 I'm sorry that I don't keep my replies simple and to the point. Force of habit. Yes, it didn't exactly appeal to my tastes. No, that doesn't mean I hate it because of that. I apologize if I appear to be a self-concealed hater with the way I (over?)explain things. All I wanted was to provide criticism and opinion, and it appears to have devolved into a textual argument about... me being a defensive hater, or whatever. Many times I carry my defensive words to the keyboard merely because I have nothing better to do, not because I neccesarily care. If you want me to shut up, I'll shut up. All you gotta do is ask, and I will stop replying on this specific argumentary chain of comments and find something else to entertain myself with.
6545792 You're free to do as you please. Most issues arise from lack of proper communication. I thank you for clarifying your words and offer my own advice in return. You do give off the impression of being very defensive and your responses are very wordy. Things like that tend to attract the comments of people less patient or considerate than myself. Consider it a friendly warning to avoid troll feeding in the future. : 3
6546700 Very well. Perhaps I shall purposely go troll-feeding sometime, the results might amuse me.
great job
interesting
Really curious how this will continue. Now that the physical changes are over with, I expect mental ones to follow?
Anyway, a great and sexy read so far! The descriptions were very detailed and exciting and the whole thing flowed very well.
6540449
Bondage, femsub, bimbofication, transformation... there's a lot of fetishes to choose from. But eh, I guess you'll just call them all "sick" and rant some more about how it's all an abomination of the written word.
I'm glad you at least acknowledge that your opinion isn't worth anything more than someone who does enjoy the story for its contents.
6610135 People can be wierd.
At least I'm not.
I don't think...
I hope I'm not.
Oh jeeze...
Welp. what happens when I'm aroused? I become a bimbo .p. also nice story...
Eager to see Chapter 2.
I eagerly await more! You have me raptured for more of her bimbofication. Don't let us down. :D
Meanwhile, know of any other fics like this? I'd love to read more in the meantime.
Good & Interesting story, I'm curious on how Octavia & Rarity & Romance are gonna fit the story, I'm also curious on what type of Hypnotism you're gonna use, Simple Helmet, Spell, Swirl screens, or maybe A Mind Break? All I know is that Minty will be getting the "Attitude adjustment" Pink Paradise thinks all mares should be.
Also, I'm faving, tracking & watching, you deserve it.
Although I technically did sign myself up for this because I read the fetish warning. I can't help but feel bad about this. I mean, it seemed pretty hot at first but it trailed off into darkness after awhile. I don't know what else to say about this, but here's the weird thing about this for me, I want to find out how the next chapter goes...
6540449
In a site full of foalcon, and shit so much more fucked up than this I find this comment a bit out of place.
I mean this isn't my kind of thing, but I'm bored and lost all feeling for these sorts of things long ago.
If this triggered you I even know of something that'll break you inside and out. I know it did for me.
Funtime.
TF, body modification, growth, BE, bimboification, mind control, hypnosis, machines, sex (obviously)
What is BE?
6714800
breast expansion
when is the next chapter comming?
this was a rather fun chapter
Add that's why you always have your phone!
Honestly, I think this story would be much better, if she had found ''randomly'' the coupon in her mail or something like that... instead of guys giving it to her.
The later just give ''we will rape you after you're made to accept it'' vibes, which doesn't help the story.
...why does this not have a dark tag?
Yea, this is ... HORRIBLE.
I'm not talking about the quality of the writing. I'm talking about the story.
Basically:
1. After almost molesting her, she defends herself with a kick, knocks her attackers down, etc.
2. They "apologize" with a coupon to a spa.
3. Said spa is pretty "Stand out", not a small thing.
4. It has not been shut down, despite this kidnap, molestation, effectively rape, etc.
How in the heck is this place still up and standing?
What is two ponies entered, and one was sitting, the other standing -- one gets taken, and the other flees out the front door, and calls for help.
How does this place operate -- who pays the bills, etc.
Who built it. Didn't anyone building it voice any concerns?
Has no one come in to look at it, find no one, repeatedly, and not asked around?
How is there no "Danger", "warning", or anything else on the building?
What the heck happens if a male shows up?
How does it prevent any unicorn from using magic to blast out?
Heck, how about an earth pony using physical strength?
What about a cell phone if this is an EqG style setting?
And that's BEFORE the whole "We reshape females based on what we think males like; a female's job is only to show off to stallions" bit.
For that matter, what does this story have to do with ponies at all at this point? Even thinking of anthro ponies, it feels more like a human story than a pony story.
And what does it say about other readers that, with just this one chapter, called it "excellent, can't wait for more"? I'm at least going to skim the next few chapters, and see if there's anything worth reading, but if I only saw this one chapter, I wouldn't come back.
9931385
This is your first time reading shameless smut, correct?
9936036
First, sorry, I forgot that replying to a message defaults to posting on the latest chapter, not the chapter the original was on.
At the moment, I've only read chapter 1, and am not sure if I should read more.
When I said that it doesn't seem pony related, I mean it seems like something that would exist in a normal world of people, not a world with unicorns, pegasi, and earth ponies; a world run and ruled by harmony magic, with cutie mark talents that runs the whole range of abilities, of which we see nothing.
There are a number of references to human, or human-ish body parts; yet there are also references to mares, or other pony-adjectives/pronouns.
If this was an EqG style "humane" world, we would see modern tech, and no references to people being ponies.
Conclusion: This is an "anthro-pony" world, at best. But with all the automation we see here, we should be seeing modern tech, along with harmony/cutie mark magic -- and we see none of it.
We see what appears to be an earth pony main character, with no indication of a cutie mark/special talent, no earth pony strength other than the initial "she kicked her attackers, and they gave her a coupon to apologize", there's nothing else -- no attempt to kick the door down, or even clobber that scanner that refused to let her out.
So I'm looking for anything that would show this as being in the MLP world, or any variant of the MLP world. And I don't.
And if I were to ask "what is it claiming to be", after only reading chapter 1?
No. Because it's such an implausible establishment, I have to wonder if there is any way to have this, in a world where something like this would have a team of unicorns tearing it down if you have pony magic, or where modern tech would have it exposed and raided if it were an EqG style world.