a mlp fan with some fics to write.
Pinkie finds out that Discord has never had a birthday party, so he will throw him a bash... even if he doesn't want it. But she will hound him to then ends of the earth and beyond to know when it is. And what's the worst that could happen?
Redone with new ending with more partying.
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My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
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I laughed my ass off reading the first part of this! The story is great. Incredible, even. Discord is represented pretty well. Not perfectly, but good as expected as fan work. (Though I wasn't fond of the Smooze being in bed with Discord, even at his feet. Seriously, wth?) And there are hilarious bits strewn about this part of the fic, such as Twilight's line, "I'll never get Spike back from the Pony Pawn shop now." which intimates pony-trafficking (a tragedy but hilarious due to being so unexpected).
But everything goes south when the Changelings arrive. I can only ask.... why da faq did you add that part in? The story was fine without adding a battle laden with death. I would have preferred Discord's party to this ending. It was a huge let down.
In addition to the good story going bad is the grammar and spelling. They both need some work. It isn't unreadable, but it detracts from the experience and keeps us from getting fulling enveloped in the story. Another area to work on is probably an oversight to many authors, that being how the dialog and the description connect. In this story, the two are very much disconnected. Pinkie screams, "Remember." Why not Pinkie screams, "REMEMBER!" Just something to work on after the other issues have been addressed.
My conclusion is that I want to give the story a Like for the beginning, but I want to give it a Dislike for the ending. The story was good enough in the first half to excuse the spelling and grammar since you've been working on those. If this story was resubmitted with the Changeling battle removed and replaced by Discord's party, dripping with the fun randomness that you have shown yourself capable of producing, this will be a great story from beginning to end. As right now, it is very much anticlimactic and undeserving of a Like.
Edit: This new ending is a huge improvement on the previous one. It produces some tension without completely changing the tone of the story from happy and fun to sad and gruesome. While it doesn't achieve the humor of the first half, it succeeds at being enjoyable to read. For this reason, I award this fic with a Like.