Agent Rarity of her Majesty's Secret Service

by Spice of Life

The Stare

“I think we just found The Stare”

Rainbow looked around at the birds and the bear. “Well, I’m sure you can handle it.” Her wings spread. “See ya.”

---

“You’re not still mad are you?”

Rarity continued walking and pointedly ignoring the pegasus in the net being carried by the birds.

“Aww come on, I said I was sorry.”

Rarity sighed. “No, you said ‘you couldn’t believe they had nets.’”

Rainbow struggled in the net. “Raahh, fine. I’m sorry I tried to run away and I called you a ‘sucker’ even though I totally should have been able to get away.”

“You are horrible at apologies.” Said Rarity as she flicked some of the remaining green goo out of her tail.

Rainbow kicked at the net. “OH Yea-. “ She was interrupted by the bear turning around and growling at her and Rarity.

They both shrunk back till it turned back around.

Rarity leaned her head close to Rainbow. “I suppose this should wait until we deal with The Stare.”

“The Stare-” Rainbow blinked “Wait! What do you mean ‘deal with’?”

Before Rarity could reply the bear let out a roar. They walked the rest of the way in silence or as silent as it could be with an assortment of chirping birds and a heavy breathing bear.

Eventually they somewhat quietly arrived at a house that looked suspiciously like Fluttershy’s cottage, in fact the only difference was the addition of animals everywhere. Which really wasn’t out of the usual, except for the fact that they all had glowing eyes. Well, not really but they certainly didn’t look happy to see Rarity or Rainbow.

“Psssst, you got a plan right?” Rainbow whispered as she strained against the netting.

Rarity tapped her hoof. “Well, I was thinking that perhaps I should use some type of winged pony as bait for the bear then I would make my cunning escape.”

Rainbow Dash rolled her eyes. “Hardy har har.”

The door opened and out stepped a petite yellow pegasus, her pink mane covering one side of her face as a small army of animals ran out between her legs and surrounded Rarity and Rainbow Dash.

“Fluttershy? What the he- HEY QUIT IT!” Rainbow yelped as a white bunny smacked her head with his paw then hopped back over to the yellow pegasus.

“Oh! Are you alright Rain-" The bunny tapped on the pegasus’s leg and glared at her. “Oh, um, alright. That’s The Stare to you.”

“I’m not calling you that, Flutters- Oww!” Mr Bear lowered his paw after having finished hitting the back of Rainbow’s head.

The Stare gasped. “Mr Bear! That wasn’t very nice.” She galloped over to Rainbow Dash and reached her hoof through the netting and patted Rainbow’s head.

Rarity watched as The Stare fret over Rainbow. The animals surrounding them didn’t quite seem happy about this development, she watched as Mr Bear sidled up to The Stare and tried to growl at her. The Stare swung her head around and pinned him with a look and he backed up, looking crestfallen as The Stare went back to Rainbow.

Rarity tapped her chin. “Ms. Stare, may I call you Ms. Stare?” The Stare turned to her. “If I may say, you don’t seem to want to hurt anypony.”

The Stare shook her head vigorously. “Oh no, never. I could never hurt somepony.” She said as timidly as always, well, almost always. There was still that Iron Will incident.

“Then, if you do not mind me asking, what is with all your little-” she paused and eyed the Mr Bear. “And big animal friends.”

The Stare blinked as she looked at Rarity. “Umm, Rarity, you have something in your mane.”

Rarity’s eye twitched as she felt a glob of goo drip from her curls. She ignored the comment and pressed forward. “Your animals seem a bit angry.”

The Stare glanced around. “Oh, they aren’t angry, they just, umm have a grievance.”

Rarity had to stop herself from scoffing. They are animals, what could they possibly have a grievance against. “What could they possible have a grievance against?”

“Umm, they want a vote.” Replied The Stare sheepishly.

“A vote?” asked Rainbow and Rarity together.

“Yes.”

“What would dumb animals want- aaaahhhhhhhhh oof!” The birds that had been carrying Rainbow Dash glared at her as they flew over to The Stare.

Rarity turned back to the Stare. “I am a bit confused, what are your little-" she glanced at the bear again “friends wanting to vote on?”

The white rabbit hopped on top of the Stare’s back. He stood up on his rear legs and gestured with its arms while making squeaking noises.

“Uh huh, okay.” The Stare turned back to Rarity. “Angel sa-" The rabbit thumped its foot and glared at her. “Oh, um, ok. The Mastermind says they want to be able to vote for the leader of the animals."

*Poit!* Rarity almost had to reach up and cover her mouth to prevent a devious smirk from spreading out over her face. “So, the animals want to select another leader besides Angel Bunny?”

Several of the birds nodded and began to tweet approval before the alarmed squeaks of the MasterMind drowned them out. He leapt off the Stare’s back and started to chase off the birds. When he got to Mr. Bear, Mr. Bear just leaned down and growed. The Mastermind rushed back to the Stare and looked up at her with puppy… rabbit eyes.

“Oh, alright.” She walked up to Mr. Bear, who suddenly looked ashamed. “It’s time to go home Mr. Bear, you can come back by tomorrow for our tea party.”

Mr. Bear looked crestfallen as he slunk away. “You’re not mad are you? PLEASE DON’T BE MAD!” Called out the Stare after him.

A quick glance around confirmed that aside from an ill-tempered rabbit, all the animals had gone. Rarity walked up beside the Stare. “So, would it be correct to assume the issue is resolved?”

The Stare looked at the Mastermind, who was hopping into her house then promptly slammed the door. “Umm, I think so. Can you also just call me Fluttershy again, I don’t really like being ‘the Stare’.”

“Oh course, Darling, of course.” A very serious expression crossed Rarity’s face. “But, I do have to ask you one thing. May I use your shower?”

Fluttershy looked at Rarity then the tied up Rainbow Dash, then back to Rarity. “Alri-“ She couldn’t even finish the word before Rarity disappeared into the house.

“-ght.” A soft wind blew through the leaves as Fluttershy stood there. She blinked as the leaves rustled and a noise brought her attention to the still netted pegasus laying on the ground.

“If you’re done with all that animal stuff, could you get me out of here?” Asked an irritated Rainbow Dash.

---

Later.

A smiling Rarity exited Fluttershy’s cottage. She felt cleansed and rejuvenated. “Ahh, much better.”

“Oh, you look so clean.” Said Fluttershy as she turned away from the tree that Rainbow Dash was laying in.

Rainbow turned her head to look down at Rarity. “Yeah yeah, she’s super-hot. Can we go now?”

“Of course, darling.” Rarity levitated a hair pin out of her mane. “Let me just contact-" She snapped the hairpin while she was talking, resulting in a ticking noise. She signed and levitated the hairpin up to Rainbow Dash.

“Be a dear and throw this as high as you can?”

Rainbow scrunched up her nose. “What? Why?”

Rarity’s eye twitched again as the ticking continued. She grabbed Rainbow and pulled her nose to nose with her. “Rainbow Dash, I bet you’re not strong enough to throw this hairpin over that cloud behind me.”

Rainbow scoffed. “Feh, no problem.” She grabbed the hairpin from Rarity and threw it. Just as it reached the cloud it exploded into a colorful explosion of fire and confetti.

Comments

[Spice of Life]

7461137

It wasnt really her idea.

[Olden Bronie]

I just finished this. Overall, very cool! I like the Bond references and the idea of Rarity being a secret agent is one that fits her very well. The plot that her friends are jealous of her being elected for this duty by Celestia herself over any of them is a fun idea. I also liked Pinkie as Rarity's concubine. The two of them together is a hoot!

Other than a few spelling and tense errors occasionally, this was a fun and hilarious read. Good job!

[Spice of Life]

7470226

Spelling and tense errors? Ugh, I though I got all of those. You wouldn't happen to remember where those were?

[Olden Bronie]

7470242
The Applebucker and The Awesome is where I noted a couple each, if I remember correctly.