Agent Rarity of her Majesty's Secret Service

by Spice of Life

Goldhoof 2

Rarity was getting tired of having to rush after Goldhoof, not to mention being rather put off by how out rude she had been. The Apple Bucker might be my… archenemy but at least she is not so uncouth as to resort to petty personal insults. She skidded to a stop in front of the address, it appeared to be a run-down factory or warehouse of some sort.

Rarity was about to push through the entrance when she stopped herself. This is too easy, too straight forward… Her horn glowed and she squinted her eyes as she examined the door. AHH HA! Sure enough there was an alarm spell and some kind of trigger on one of hinges of the door. Disarming the alarm was a quick process of matching the frequency of the spell that had been put in place. The trigger was even easier, she just opened the door next to it, bypassing it completely. With a final glance around she slipped into the lair of Goldhoof.

Inside was a long hallway, it only took Rarity a quick glance to notice that it was completely full of traps of various natures. This will be a bother. She tapped her hoof as she analyzed the situation. Individually each trap seemed to have a surprisingly simple trigger. I would have thought Goldhoof would have gone with something more complex-. While individually each trap was simple, they were all linked together. So disarming one would probably set off another. Disarming them all would take an awfully long time and she did leave P and Golden Harvest alone in her shop, with her dresses.

It took her a few moments but Rarity found a solo pressure plate nearby that would cause a mallet of some sort to swing down from the ceiling. “OH WOE IS ME, I HOPE I DO NOT SET OFF ANY OF THESE DASTARDLY WELL DESIGNED TRAPS” She daintily pressed her hoof on the pressure plate and ducked under the surprisingly large mallet then carefully laid down upon the floor, making sure not to damage her perfectly coifed mane then she closed her eyes and waited.

It didn’t take long before she heard voices. “See Menial Task, I told you it would be easy.”

“Could you stop calling me that.” The sound of clawed footsteps stopped beside her. “I don’t know Twi-“

“NO, DON’T CALL ME THAT! It’s Goldhoof.”

“Ok ok, sheesh. I still think this was too easy, Celestia wouldn’t have made Rarity a secret agent if she was this easy to capture.”

“This just proves that Princess err Queen, yes, Queen Celestia made a mistake by making her and not me, a secret agent.”

“Oh yeah, and you being crazy had nothing to do with that.” Menial Task muttered.

The hoof steps stopped beside her and Rarity felt the tingle over her coat as she was enveloped in a magical aura and lifted off of the ground. She let her body go limp and be carried. She briefly considered trying to break the aura and knock Goldhoof out, but decided against it. No matter how rude she was, she is still my friend, additionally I do not think I could break her magic even if I wanted too.

“Celestia should have picked me, I would have been the best secret agent, I wouldn’t have gotten so easily caught in a trap. I would have had no trouble deali-“

“Yeah yeah, you keep saying that.”

“Sorry, I just don’t know why Celestia trusts Rarity more than me now.”

“Aww c’mon Tw- Goldhoof, I’m sure Celestia still trusts you.”

“No, I’ve been over it in my head a million times, she doesn’t trust or like me anymore, that’s the only explanation why she picked Rarity to be her agent.”

“Wait, so that’s why you’re going to irradiate Equestria’s supply of books?”

“Huh? No, I changed my mind about that a week ago. I’m going to prove that I’m better than Rarity then Celestia will have to make me a secret agent and trust me again. HAAHAAHA” *cough cough*

“Are you ok?”

“Yes, I just don’t quite have the evil laugh down yet.”

“That’s something else I’ve been meaning to ask about, why do you have an evil laugh?”

“Oh, it was in the book.”

“Of course, my fault for asking.”

Rarity kept her eyes closed as the conversation went quiet and the only noise was hoof and claw steps. This is why she suddenly vanished? She felt betrayed when The Queen made me an agent of the crown? She had just gotten that thought out when she felt herself being pressed against a hard flat surface. Ugh, another iron table, Goldhoof must have been hanging out with The Apple Bucker. She let her arms and legs be clamped to the table but put a small amount of magic into each of the restraints before they were locked, hoping that Goldhoof wouldn’t notice.

“Do you want me to wake her up?” She heard Menial Task call out from beside her.

“Not yet not yet, let me get into position.”

Rarity heard scampering hoofsteps from somewhere in front of her.

“Ok ready, wake her up.”

Rarity felt a pointy claw poke her leg. She let her eyelids flutter as if she was waking up in the morning. “Wha, where…” She stuttered as she took in her surroundings quickly. She was in the middle of a large mostly empty warehouse. Menial Task was standing beside the iron table. In front of her sat Goldhoof, upon an impressively large stack of… gold… books… strange.

Goldhoof hopped off of her throne. “So Agent Rarity, we meet at last. I would shake your hoof but you appear to be all tied up.”

Rarity had to physically stop herself from popping her bindings off and facehoofing.

“Now that I have you,” Goldhoof strolled up beside the table. "nopony can stop my plan to-" She levitated a book from behind her. “Steal all the- no, irradiate the- uragh, no! I already decided not to do that. Kill… absolutely not.” She tossed the book behind her then quickly ran after it. “Ohhhh, Imsorry Imsorry Imsorry,” She held the book to her chest. “I didn’t mean to hurt you.”

Rarity blinked. Ok, she appears to be… slightly unhinged. Perhaps I should play this by the book, so to speak. She cleared her throat, “You shall never get away with this, Goldhoof.”

Goldhoof’s head snapped up and she glared at Rarity. “Y-y-y-you, you can’t stop me,” she stomped over to the table. “And with you out of the way Celestia will have to give into my demands!” She reared up and stomped her front hooves on the table.

Rarity popped the clamps off of her legs then swung her rear hooves around Goldhoof’s torso, locking them. Then she used her magic to help her momentum and popped the clasps off her arms and flung both off them off the table. She landed on top of Goldhoof, who was too surprised to do much more than stare. Rarity touched her horn to Goldhoof’s, quickly casting a suppression spell, if Goldhoof really wanted to use magic she could probably power through the spell without any problem, but the surprise of suddenly not being able to use magic might keep her off guard.

Goldhoof was too stunned to react. “H-how did you!?”

Rarity sat up, still on top of Goldhoof’s stomach and flicked her coifed mane. “Darling, I am quite good at this.”

Menial Task came running around the table. “Twili-“

He skidded to a stop as Rarity held up a hoof to block him. “Nuh uh uhhh. Do be a dear a take a step back if you would.” As he did she turned back to Goldhoof. “Now then, how about we discuss this like two reasonable ponies.”

Goldhoof could only nod.

“Good. Now I take it you are feeling like Queen Celestia doesn’t appreciate you any longer.”

“H-how did you kno- urghhhhh.” *thunk* Goldhoof hit her head against the floor. “You were faking being knocked out.”

Rarity gave a sad smile. “I’m afraid so, you had an impressive number of traps, but they were very easy to detect for a trained agent.”

“You’re right, I’m just not cut out for this,” Goldhoof sniffed. “I don’t deserve to be a secret agent, I can’t even be a good villain.”

“Oh come now, Goldhoof,” Rarity smiled down at Goldhoof. “I happen to know that Queen Celestia misses you dearly.

Goldhoof looked up at her with tears in her eyes. “Really?”

“Absolutely darling, she practically asks me every day if I am closer to finding you.”

Goldhoof looked like she might break down, but in her current emotionally fragile state, that could mean giving up or running away. Something more was needed and in a moment of serendipity Rarity knew what was needed. “Why she even keeps a picture of you on her desk.”

“R-really?” Goldhoof’s eyes sparkled with hope.

Rarity nodded. “The Queen has been doing everything she can to find you.”

Goldhoof’s horn glowed, the suppression spell shattering without her noticing and she teleported out from under Rarity, who fell onto the floor with an “oof”

“I have to go to her, I have to tell her how much I’ve missed her.” With that Goldhoof ran out of the warehouse.

Rarity and Menial Task looked at each other then back at the door then Menial Task spoke up. “I guess this mean’s she isn’t going to break up you and Pinkie anymore.”

Rarity blinked then turned to him. “What?”

Before he could reply Goldhoof came running back into the room. “C’mon Spike, we have to go find Celestia.”

Rarity glared at him as he sheepishly ran over to Goldhoof.

Goldhoof started to run out the warehouse again but stopped in the doorway and turned back to Rarity. “Thank you Rarity, just call me Twilight. I don’t want to be Goldhoof anymore.” Then she was gone.

Rarity called out after her. “Happy to help, darling!” She turned and gave the room one more look before she reached her hoof up to her mane and pulled out a hairpin. She bent it open and put it to her ear. She was expecting to hear Queen Celestia’s voice, but instead she heard a ticking. “Oh dear…” She quickly flung the hairpin away from her and took cover behind the table.

*BOOOOOOOM* a huge explosion blew a hole in the warehouse wall. Rarity peeked around the table and looked at the burning wreckage of the lair and the streamers that were still falling from the blast. “Ugh Pinkie, I must remember to tell her to change the look of communicator or grenades.” She mumbled to herself as she pulled out another hairpin and carefully bent it.

“Hello, Rarity?”

“Oh good, hello your majesty. Do you have a picture of Twilight?”

“I have a photo of all of you, why?”

“Well, the good news is that your most faithful student is on her way back to you.”

“Oh this is wonderful news.”

Rarity could feel the warmth of Celestia’s suddenly ecstatic mood even through the communicator. “But the bad news is that I had to tell her you kept a photo of her on your desk and I have a feeling she will be expecting to see it.”

The line was quiet for a short moment. “Thank you for your hard work Agent Rarity, do not worry about the picture. I shall take care of it immediately.”

---

Several hours later at the parents of Twilight Sparkle’s house.

Night Light trotted through the entrance hall and noticed something off, something was missing. He leaned down at looked at the end table. “Velvet,” he called out “didn’t we used to have a picture of Twilight on the table here?”

From a few rooms away he heard a reply. “I think so.”

Comments

[Hillbe]

Did I make a good henchdragon?

Quite a gentle henchdragon

Can I have sharks with laser beams on their heads?

Get Smart Spikey Wikey

I need to P!

I need to S!

I need to Rrrrrrrrrr!

RD