Chapter 2
It was your typical old American style diner. Stainless steel edging on the rounded bar, comfy red booths, black and white checkered floor tiles, and gleaming white walls. Large glass windows let in the afternoon sunlight. The small kitchen was visible from dining area, separated only by a short wall. On the second floor were a couple of small rooms.
Adagio took it all in as she saw the possibilities. She smiled.
“OK Dazzlings, huddle up!”
The girls circled up, leaving a small gap. Adagio stared at him.
“Well Anon?“ asked Aria impatiently.
After a moment’s hesitation, he stepped into the gap. Their arms circled around each other’s shoulders as they leaned in. Apparently Anon was a Dazzling now.
“Ok! Anon, what’s the situation and what have we got to work with?”
Anon explained how the restaurant had been closed while his Uncle was sick and how he had inherited it. How he’d basically inherited just enough money to get it running again. There were local contacts for consumables but he had no employees. Adagio pulled her arm from his shoulder and chewed on the side of her index finger.
“Hmmm… Well, we’re gonna need food, uniforms, a menu, and we’re gonna have to spread word around town that we’re gonna be open again soon. Sonata can go around town and tell students that we’re open again. Aria can take care of uniforms. Anon can contact the supplier and get the pantry stocked. I can work on the menu and get the kitchen in order. Once that’s all good to go we can finish getting the dining area finished up.”
Anon was taken aback. Adagio had identified the problems, the solutions, and divvied up the jobs. The girl was a natural leader.
“Ok on 3, team Dazzle! 1, 2, 3! TEAM DAZZLE!”
With a shout everyone dispersed. Sonata ran out the door arms flailing towards the school. Aria slapped her palm against her forehead, then walked out, presumably to the uniform store. That left Adagio and Anon.
“You are really good at that.”
“Well, that comes with a thousand years of practice,” she trailed off under her breath.
“Huh?”
“Nothing.”
Anon looked at her. He really looked at her. Confident eyes, an almost permanent smirk on her face, the cute poofy dress. She was like confidence personified. He breathed in.
“Adagio, want to be my manager?”
“I thought you’d never ask, Anon.” Her smile grew predatory. “We’re gonna need some things from you though. First, our rent runs out in 2 weeks.”
“Hmm, I don’t really have any money to front you until the restaurant is actually running, but there's an upstairs area with a couple rooms. I’m moving into one of them, but you guys can take the other 3 rooms for free. They’re small, but it shouldn’t be too uncomfortable.”
She blinked, composure caught slightly off guard. She was gonna try to talk him into a pay advance, but this could work out better.
“That would actually work out great. Our place isn’t really that nice, and we don’t have too much stuff to move. Okay. Second, we want to be partners. You can it out of our pay, but we want to be a part of it if this place takes off.”
“Well, I suppose I could do that. Having more money to invest in getting the diner running would help a lot. You do know nearly a third of restaurants fail in the first year, right?”
“That just gives us more incentive to work hard, right?” She smiled again, this time a little softer. “Well, looks like we’ve got a deal then, partner.”
Anon shook Adagio’s outstretched hand.
“Well, time to get this place up and running!” she said with a smile.
With that, she took a small laptop out of her bag and sat down at a booth. She opened up a program and started typing out a rough menu, text only. She seemed to have a very strong grasp on what went on a menu from the 50’s, almost as if she’d been there.
“We’re looking at a typical American style diner menu, right?”
“Yeah, burgers, fries, and shakes as a base. I was thinking it wouldn’t be a bad idea to have a sort of rotating side menu that changes theme on certain days. You know, like Taco Tuesdays, Spaghetti Sunday, or Sirloin Saturday. Something alliterative so people remember it.”
She stared at him hard. She searched his eyes, but it didn’t look like he was cracking a joke. After a couple more seconds she decided it wasn’t directed at Sonata and relaxed.
“Hmm, that could work. We don’t want our menu to be so spread out that our restaurant doesn’t have a culinary identity, but we also don’t want people to get bored and stop coming.”
He watched over her shoulder as she took the typed out menu items and pasted them over into an online menu creator. She seemed to favor stars, stripes, and sparkles for the theme. He liked it, it had a sort of patriotic feel to it. He saw her squint as she went into creative mode and decided to leave her to it.
“Well, if you can email me the text I can get to ordering ingredients!”
He looked down as his phone played a midi version of the hook from Cheap Trick's The Flame. She was already a step ahead of him, as a copy of it showed up in his CHS email account. He smiled at his new manager as he got to work.
---
Aria found herself staring at the perfect waitress outfits. Green with purple, magenta with pink, and royal blue with pink. They were each identical other than the complimentary color patterns. It was a one piece dress that ended a couple inches above the knee. It transitioned up from there into a form fitting shape as it rose to a notched collar with a wide V opening. A single strip of black buttons ran down the middle of each dress’s front. A sort of faux vest pattern in the complimentary color ran down the left and right side going over the shoulders all the way down. The outfit was finished with short sleeves that stopped after just covering the upper arm. She had to have them, she was sure Sonata and Adagio would love them.
---
Sonata found herself in front of the school. Students were still milling around going to after school stuff or just getting off extra study.
“Heey guys! We’ve got a restaurant now! It’s right down the street! We’re gonna have burgers and tacos and cute outfits! You should all totally go!”
“Well, what’s it called?” asked a random colorful student.
Sonata suddenly found herself stumped. Her eyes went wide and blank as her brain turned off external functions. She hadn’t been told what the name was gonna be.
“Hmmmmmm… I know, how about Café Dazzling! Everybody come to Café Dazzling!”
She took off running towards the field to go tell all the sports club members to come visit their new restaurant.
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I get the impression the Dazzlings have done something like this before. Also;
Cuteness may vary, but these lines made me smile.
This looks good.
Seems good so far it's a 8/10 so far....
I come from a dark place, following the light cast out by this story. Here I take shelter from the hell I willingly entered, and am restored by this island of goodness.
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I am a very tall midget....
This story has potential, don't get me wrong, but there are some things that do bog it down.
The major one I've noticed is that there is no transitions to indicate the PoV changing. One minute, Adagio is making the menu, the next, Aria's looking at uniform's, and then, Sonata is telling people about the restaurant, with no breaks in between. It's jarring, quite honestly.
Another thing, I've found a major gripe with them running the restaurant: wouldn't they need food establishment licenses to actually run the restaurant? If they're running it without said food license, they could get into some really serious trouble.
And then another thing- why would the establishment become empty? From what I'm gathering, the restaurant was doing pretty well, otherwise, why would A. Nonimous let Anon inherit the restaurant? Shouldn't the pantry still be full? Shouldn't there still be workers, or a functioning dining area? Sure, I can understand taking a few days to close the shop to honor the owner, but there are plenty of establishments who see their owners die, and they still continue on.
And then, finally, there's the lack of showing and explaining. For instance, why does Anon love cooking? Does he like eating the foods he makes? Or maybe he enjoys a challenge, that being making food, something where anything can happen. And I noticed you could describe the restaurant in more detail. Maybe for the floor tiles, say-
One last thing, why would the students trust Sonata about Cafe Dazzling, and, from what I'm gathering, make like they do want to go there? Remember, the Sirens mind- controlled the entire school with their music in Rainbow Rocks. The students should be suspicious about Sonata trying to get to Cafe Dazzling, which would have made Anon a much better prospect at attracting customers.
Alright, that should be it for the most part. This story still does have potential, don't get me wrong, plus I'm not seeing any real problems in your spelling or grammar. I'll be back at the next chapter to read through it.
Ok, after reading this, this really feels out of place. The scenes in this story are very rushed and feel as if things are just happening with out reason. like the guy said it has potential, but it really doesnt feel like a story.
....Yeaaaahh, that name is gonna totally work around this area........after the whole battle of the band things....totally work out.
6244153
It's nice to read an EG fic that isn't either based on the clique of Twilight not knowing human things or shipping (so much friggin shipping!), and instead having something different and constructive, ain't it?
I am loving this so far!
6253977 Why not? Weirder things have happened. remember that time Sunset turned into a demon and was stopped by a rainbow colored "death" beam powered by the magic of friendship between 5 girls and a magical pony princess from another dimension? That shit was pretty weird.
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And later the whole school happened to be ripped into other dimension(or something, I'm not sure what would be happened) and principal of one school think about reputation of hers....come to think of it that could be happened in real world, bad example. Anyway, yeah, that world is pretty fucked up.