The meeting had not been what Fyrenn would have called a 'success.'
As slow as soldiers were to forget the lessons learned in war, politicians seemed conversely quick to dismiss them. Despite repeated corroborating testimony from all four Gryphons, with three Generals of various rankings to back them up, the Earthgov Council had waved the concerns about Veritas, and the HLF infiltration of the final JRSF operation, aside.
As the four Gryphons, two Ponies, Hutch, Aston, and Sorven vacated the chamber, the latter shook her head, "I swear, they're never going to learn."
Hutch snorted, "At this stage, does it matter? We *did* manage to secure the funding upgrade."
Aston chuckled, "Thank heavens for small mercies."
Kephic shot Fyrenn a sideways glance, "I noticed you didn't mention the exact nature of Veritas' escape."
Fyrenn looked in turn to each of his brothers, eyebrow raised, "Neither did you two. I think we would all agree. No one in that room, present company excepted, is going to believe for one instant that Veritas is... Some sort of Wisp-like creature."
Skye smirked, "Yeah. You'd be oh so convincing. Especially if we tell em you woke up out of a coma after being declared brain-dead, and recited four lines of prophecy. And that was *before* you started breathing."
Fyrenn shook his head, "I still wouldn't have believed it happened if you all hadn't shown me the security footage."
Carradan let out a short, sharp bark of laughter, "Buddy, you had me so scared, I swooned. Which ain't an easy feat. I took out a whole battalion of PER you know. Stone cold Bucker."
Hutch glared good naturedly, "I seem to remember you managed to knock *one* soldier on his rump before I had to come save your tail end from the mother of all angry Trolls."
Neyla smirked, "Ah! So the truth outs at last!"
The mood lightened at that, and remained relatively upbeat all the way back to the Bureau.
The group traveled by VTOL, to save time. As the three craft touched down in a cordoned off landing zone at the end of a side-street, Fyrenn thought he detected the sounds of a crowd.
His suspicions were confirmed when the hatches opened to reveal a massive throng of people filling the front steps of the Bureau. Hutch had to shout to make himself heard over the combined roar of the engines, and the crowd, "It's been like this ever since you went under!"
Fyrenn gaped, "Well I hope you brought the keys to the *back* door!"
Sorven shook her head, "You guys need to make an appearance, even if its just walking in, smiling and waving. You're heroes to these people. They need to put faces on this if we're gonna make a lasting impression for good."
Varan grimaced, "I would prefer unarmed combat against five armed foes."
He said it with such deadpan, that Skye had to stifle her muzzle to prevent herself from bursting out laughing.
Kephic jerked his head, "I think we've been had. It looks like the press is arriving."
Aston shrugged, "Sorry guys. Lantry hit us with it at the last minute. Says he's got a big announcement, and wanted us on hand." The group began walking slowly towards the crowd.
Neyla cocked her head, "We're going before some sort of audience?"
Fyrenn nodded, "Nothing major. Just the larger portion of the planet. Why do I suddenly feel more like a trophy than a soldier?"
Carradan laughed, "Oh come on you overgrown chickens, it's just a bunch of cameras."
Skye needled him in the side with a hoof, "Says the guy who probably grew up in front of one."
The Pegasus smirked, "Born and bred sister. You doing anything later?"
Skye chuckled, "If I wasn't before, I sure am now."
Carradan winced, "Ouch. You didn't even give me a chance."
"Talk to the hoof."
Skye's word was the last word, as the crowd had now noticed the approaching party, and gone, as Fyrenn would later describe it 'Hogwild Berzerk.'
Hutch smiled, and gritted out through his teeth, "So *this* is what all those pop stars have to live with every day?"
Aston chuckled and shot back, "And they wonder about the suicide rate...?"
General Lantry was already waiting at an impromptu podium that had been hastily wheeled out to the top of the steps. ConSec guards were hastily clearing the top step, and space a few levels down for the press.
Lantry smiled broadly as the group finally managed to break through the crowd, and join him, forming a large semicircle around the podium, facing the press, and the cheering civilians.
The General waved, and raised his hands for silence. It took several minutes, but the raucous noise finally died down. Fyrenn noted that the cameras were already rolling.
"My fellow New Yorkers... It is a good day to be breathing!"
The statement elicited a flurry of applause.
Kephic looked slightly bemused. Like Fyrenn he hadn't figured Lantry for a public figure. But the General's crusty outer surfaces apparently hid an adept showman.
"Today, I'm here to commemorate the gift these nine people; Three Humans, two Ponies, and four Gryphons... Were so instrumental in giving us. The gift of free will. These nine warriors put aside boundaries of rank, status, background, and even species, to put their lives on the line...
So that we could wake up to another day of peace."
The response was deafening, Fyrenn even caught sight of a camera tech frantically adjusting a volume slider to compensate. He did his best to smile, pouring the joy he felt at simply being alive into his expression, and hoping that it would read well on-camera.
When the commotion finally subsided, Lantry continued, "But ladies and gentlemen, of New York, and of the world, I'm also here today to present you all with a gift on behalf of a friend."
The low murmur sweeping the crowd died down to absolute silence. Fyrenn noticed the same curious expressions gracing his brother's beaks, that were also plastered to Neyla, Skye, and Carradan.
"It is my duty, and distinct privilege, to inform you that a joint team of Equestrian mages, Gryphon Engineers, and Human scientists, under the auspices and patronage of their majesties Celestia and Luna, have succeeded in creating a functional prototype for a Barrier Retardation Device."
Silence reigned. Lantry paused to let the words sink in, "In short; while we can not stop the Bubble, we have found a way to appreciably slow its progress... And in addition the system, once activated, will artificially ensure a short, stable route between the Bubble edge on one side, and the Equestrian Nation on the other, despite the Barrier's growth. It may not seem like much, in the grand scheme of things, but it will give this city *three* more years."
At first, no one moved, or spoke. But then the applause began, first one person, then two, then ten, then fifty. Before long, the assembled crowd was celebrating as if they had been given the greatest gift imaginable.
Fyrenn smiled and shook his head in awe, reflecting that perhaps, in a way, they had.
As the press dispersed, Fyrenn took a moment to stop and speak to General Lantry.
The man smiled at his approach, "Lieutenant Commander! It's good to see you back on your... Paws."
Fyrenn inclined his head, "That was quite an announcement. I wouldn't be surprised if they make this a public holiday before the week is out."
Lantry nodded, "The press for the Bureau, and the Military, has never been better."
Fyrenn smiled, "That's always a good thing I suppose. But I'm not here to deliver congratulations."
"Oh?"
Fyrenn narrowed his eyes, "I respect you sir. Honestly I do. As an officer, a leader, and a man... But let me make one thing imminently clear. If you ever see fit to deceive me, the way you did with Skye, again? I will personally donate my life's savings to your retirement fund. Then I will make you chew and swallow every last credit chit, with a glass of acid to wash it down. And from now on? Anyone in my family is off-limits to you, or anyone else in Military Intelligence for the purposes of your wet work. Find someone else to pretend to be dead."
Fyrenn entered the Bureau to find his friends waiting for him. Skye chuckled, "What was *that* about?"
The red Gryphon smiled and winked, "Just looking after a family matter. All better now. So... What's next?"
Kephic shrugged, "Well, Gilchrist is gone... But I doubt that will stop the PER."
Hutch nodded, "We will get a *much* needed reprieve out of it tho."
Sorven chimed in, "Time we can use to start running down the HLF."
Aston smiled, "You, ma'm, are brass after my own heart. With all due respect."
The General glared at Laura, but beneath the expression lurked the beginnings of a good natured smile.
Neyla shook her head, "There is always Fyrenn's prophecy to consider. Just because no one else will believe us doesn't mean we shouldn't pursue it."
Skye nodded her assent, "Dollars to bits, it's got something to do with those spooky skeleton-thingies you guys told me about."
Varan glowered, "And Veritas."
Fyrenn sighed contentedly, "Well then! I suppose we have our work cut out for us. Where shall we begin?"
Carradan's stomach filled the ensuing silence with a loud, amusingly timed rumble.
The Salmon Pegasus grinned sheepishly, "How about with lunch?"
Fyrenn laughed, "*That* I second."
Neyla smiled, "No argument here."
Varan and Kephic simultaneously nodded.
Skye began jumping up and down, "Oooh ooh! Dibs on the haycakes!"
Carradan smirked, "Only if you beat me to 'em."
Everyone laughed as the group ambled its way back out into the Manhattan afternoon, no particular destination in mind, each fully intent on taking a day to take a breath...
...Then getting right back into the action. Come hell or high water.
Mr. Utah made a point of avoiding the aptly christened 'knee knocker' as he let himself into the darkened room.
His benefactor's eyes were best adjusted to darkness, and on darkness she insisted.
Mr. Utah's theory was that she was simply insecure; the magic-scarce environment of Earth left her at a disadvantage, both tactically, and in Mr. Utah's opinion aesthetically.
She glowered, "Did your agents retrieve it."
Mr. Utah smiled, and withdrew the item from his inside jacket pocket, setting it on the table, and shoving it across to her casually.
It was unassuming; A small one inch, by six inch gray cylinder, inlaid at several junctures with faint circuitry lines.
At first glance, there was no indication that it was the focal point of the HLF operation codenamed "Ragnar." That it was the power of Armageddon in a data chip.
Mr. Utah snapped his fingers, and a hologram pulsed into existence above the chip.
The Benefactor rustled her leaf-like wings, and grinned, an expression that even the Devil himself would have found daunting.
She nosed the displayed model carefully, as if savoring it, "Well done. They suspect nothing?"
Mr. Utah shook his head, "They were too busy with the PER. Our agent walked straight in, removed it, planted the duplicate, and walked out. No one goes into those vaults, except for the maintenance technicians, once a year at best. They won't know it's missing until it hits them..."
The man thumped his fist on the table, "...Literally."
The Benefactor's smile acquired a sickly sweet demure quality, and she intentionally brushed up against Mr. Utah on her way to the door, "Do you have the prisoners?"
"Do you have the substance?"
The Benefactor chuckled, "Naturally. I must admit, many in my hive find it amusing that you value our chitin excretions so highly."
Mr. Utah snorted, "Many in my Cabinet think we're wasting potential hostages letting you suck the joy out of their heads, or whatever it is you do."
Chrysalis smiled, "And that's why it's such a perfect compromise. Nobody is truly happy. See you again... Soon."
The HLF Submarine 'Retribution' steamed its way towards the bubble, ferrying the organization's Equestrian Benefactor, Chrysalis, Queen of the Changelings, back to her home.
Back to her army.
Fresh food in hoof.
The remaining heads of the PER's over-cells were mystified. Mere moments after news of the Manhattan attack broke, they had received an urgent microburst transmission from their leader. A single imperative; 'Assemble.'
The PER's central settlement would have occupied beautiful real-estate, had the rainforests surrounding it been a living breathing verdant biome, rather than a stark gray petrified tangle.
But the branches and trunks of the trees still made for excellent camouflage, dead or alive.
As they waited for the man, who they knew by so many names, the fourteen Humans fell to talking amongst themselves about the desolate view out the room's ceiling to floor windows.
Their aesthetic reflections were abruptly interrupted by the entrance of a familiar violet Unicorn.
They all knew of Veritas; She seldom left her beloved's side, which made his absence all the more keenly disturbing.
Perhaps more disturbing, Veritas was flanked by two Diamond Dogs. Their armor, unlike traditional PER garb, was jet black with a violet shoulder bar. Their helmets, disconcertingly, covered their eyes with an opaque plasteel strip.
Veritas marched to the center of the room, "Brethren; We have suffered a great loss. Our leader, Robert Gilchrist, is dead."
A perturbed murmur swept the room like wildfire.
The violet unicorn raised her hoof for silence, "However... This is not an irreparable setback, by any means. Even now, I am taking steps..." She nodded curtly at her guards, who moved to bar the door, "...to ensure the future of the PER."
She tapped the room's lighting controls with a slight nudge of her magical field, and the windows began turning opaque.
The over-cell heads shot confused, and disturbed glances at each other.
The appointed speaker for the group stood, shakily, "No offence... But with him gone... I think we're going to need stronger leadership than you can provide. We don't even know you that well."
Veritas smiled, as the black tendrils began to wend their way from her horn, creeping across the room's central table, splitting into fourteen 'branches' that rose, like long extinct Cobras, to face the terrified over-cell leaders.
When she spoke again, Vertias' voice bore a quality, and timbre, that could only be described as regal, "You will know us better hereafter!"
The Diamond Dog guards watched, impassively and unmoving, as the remaining leaders of the PER writhed.
And screamed.
ACV-10, the UES Yorktown; Named, and numbered, for the famed Essex class carrier of old, the Area Control Vessel was a floating fortress, command center, landing strip, city, and on occasion, neutral meeting ground.
The vessel was close to the point in the Atlantic where it had first served that same function; Acting as a meeting ground for the first official talks between the Royal sisters of the Equestrian Nation, and the Ambassadors of the Earthgov Council.
Over the years, the ship had remained in the same general area, sometimes being called to shelter newfoal transports from the occasional, and ill conceived HLF naval raid. Other times, and more frequently, being used as a stopover for diplomats from Equestria.
The Yorktown had made history before. She was about to do so again.
"Scythe two oh one, Yorktown LSO; spin to go-around, we have incoming foursie traffic."
The term, 'foursie,' had become common pilot speak aboard the carrier for Gryphons and Pegasi, denoting their defining common trait of having four legs.
The pilot, Air Corps colonel Thomas West, snickered to himself as he twisted the stick to the right, gently nudging the rudder pedals at the same time, "Who have we got this time Maggie?"
"Rumor says its the Royal White One herself."
"Nice. We can paint another sun on the island."
The crew had taken to painting emblems on the island, beside the combat decorations, to denote visits from Celestia, Luna, and the Gryphon King.
Several minutes passed, and the LSO's voice returned to West's headset,
"Scythe two oh one, you are cleared for landing. And before you ask; Yeah. It's her."
Thomas grinned, and attached his oxygen mask, as per landing protocol, "Tell Louis to get out my paintbrush."
Maggie's laughter filled the channel, "Alright CAG. Scythe two oh one, cleared for final approach, call the ball."
Aircraft carriers still used the 'antiquated' meatball system of landing mirrors, as an added failsafe against instrumentation failure. Scythes didn't need the system when performing vertical landings, but Celestia's entourage would be gumming up the VTOL landing zone, so West was relegated to a 'good ol fashioned' trap, or arrestor-assisted landing.
The colonel smiled, "Scythe two oh one, ball!"
A few moments later the sleek silver craft roared to a stop, the backwash from its passage ruffling a few strands of Celestia's flowing mane.
The monarch offered a smile, and a nod, to the fighter's pilot.
Human craft, even the deadly ones, were admittedly, works of art.
And the people who flew them were Knights, in their own way.
The designated meeting room on the Yorktown had seen enough service that, over the years, it had been transformed from a spartan gunmetal cube into a carpeted paneled diplomatic lounge worthy of an embassy.
A granite table dominated the center of the room. Two walls were occupied with massive screens, one was relegated to the door, flanked by the Carrier's flag, and naval group emblem, and the final wall was decorated with the crests of Earthgov, the Equestrian Nation, and more recently, the Gryphon Kingdoms.
The room was occupied, on the auspicious occasion in question, by a diverse and somewhat volatile group.
Curled up in one end of the expansive chamber, taking up nearly all the space between the back wall and table, was a fearsome looking green Dragon, accompanied by a small gray Pony stallion, clad in the most peculiar and menacing armor.
At the opposite end of the table, eyeing the gargantuan reptile silently, and warily, was a strapping specimen of the Lupine Diamond Dogs.
Tucked into another corner, as far from the Diamond Dog, and Dragon, as they could get, were a female Zebra, and a large russet colored male Buffalo, adorned with a feathered band upon his brow.
Dancing nervously around the Zebra's legs was a small pastel purple creature best described as a fusion of Changeling and Pony.
As time wore on, and the assembled heads of state began to grow impatient for the arrival of their hosts, the small creature carefully, haltingly, made her way over to the Draconic ambassador, and his son.
Eyeing the Dragon with no small amount of trepidation, she worked up the courage to address the gray Pony, "H... Hi."
He offered her an embarrassed smile, "Hi."
"I'm Mimic!"
"Chip."
Over the next few minutes, the pair hit it off wonderfully, finally working up the gumption to ask their respective adoptive parents if they could be excused to roam the ship.
Ambassador Sharptooth lent his approval, and Mimic's adoptive guardian followed up, "If a chauffer you can locate, you may roam free, but do not return too late."
Shortly after the two unique younglings coerced a Seaman second class into tagging along on their grand adventure, the hosts of the summit finally arrived.
Celestia and Siidran, flanked by two Royal guards, and one well armored Gryphon Knight, took up places at each end of the table. Silently, the other ambassadors acquired seats, perches, or standing positions.
Celestia smiled, "It's good to see you again Sharptooth. You as well Zecora."
The Dragon and Zebra both returned the smile, and inclined their heads.
The Lupine Diamond Dog drove a fist into the table, "I want to know why we were all brought here, on one of your dreadful ships in my case, only to wait for an hour for you to arrive."
Twin glares from the Buffalo chieftain, and King Siidran swiftly silenced the canine.
Celestia raised a hoof, "A valid question."
She swept the room with her gaze, receiving an encouraging half smile from Siidran.
"Ambassadors, Alpha, Chieftain... We are here because of the success of the Gryphonization program. We are here, because exclusivity breeds both contempt, and stagnation. We are here, because Diversity is strength. In short..."
The Monarch of the Sun grinned, "We are here to discuss... Options."
Special thanks to Callie's Author for the guest appearance;
Give her Tumblr some love here; Ask Callie
Pre-Readers (Past and Present) Alphabetically:
Airstream
darthrex
frieD195
MetBoy
rigomi
Fyrenn and the rest return in:
Added Advice and Encouragement From:
Defoloce
&
midnightshadow
Tacksworn, Sharptooth, Carmine, Chip, Beryl, etc belong to midnightshadow
Mimic is rigomi's creation
In The Darkness, the void of voids, the space between, the voice of the one-who-would-lead rang out, silvery like the moon, yet as black as the abyss, each word repeating and echoing back on itself, as if spoken within a massive cavern.
"In bonds of family six set out; To seek The Dispossessed,
In joy and sorrow, grief and strife, bearing morbid stress.
Where Sun and Moon the expanse share, the six will find the power,
To put an end to Darkness... Strife... The war of Night's own hour."
Silence reigned in the Darkness, from the reaches of the void, to the spires of the Fortress-within-the-frozen-expanse.
The one-who-would-lead spoke again, "The six, are gathered. Send for those-who-we-command, have them found. Have them Slain."
A rising cacophony, at once fire, and water, darkness, and starlight, rose to answer the call.
The one-who-would-lead bellowed a war cry, "The Night, shall have its reign!"
Wow.
You guys.... its actually over.
I'd be deeply sad if this weren't so much an ending, as a beginning.
Thanks so much for coming along with me on this hella crazy ride!
Hope to see you all again.... soon!
Read the credits like good little boys n girls.
You might find a surprise after them.
*Epic cheer*
Been tracking this for awhile and I have to say, more win than is legally allowed. I'd go see this in a movie theater.
Genesis looks interesting from it's little picture there alone. If I had to guess we got potions for Dragon, Zebra, Diamond Dog, and possibly Minotaur in there with the Gryphon and Pony ones.
It's always interesting to see so many different stories coming together in a sense. The real fun is when they all reflect each other and cement the whole crossover deal.
1127331
I believe the Horn Symbol potion is Buffalo actually.
Also im gonna advertise my own story here since its related. And while I cant write nearly as fast as GG here, it might tide you over until he starts the next story.
Conversion Burea:State of mind Timeline-wise i think this happens after Option gamma but before Genesis.
I had a hunch Fyrenn wasn't dead. It all seemed just a bit too heroic for it to be that straightforward, if that makes sense.
Also, I was right about HLF's benefactor.
THEY SAID I WAS CRAZYMasterfully written. The story truly feels like something I might see in a bookstore somewhere, and I am greatly looking forward to the next two books. Well done!
I'm keeping my eyes on you, can't miss the se/prequels...
I wish I could thumb it up more. Maybe there's a "hoof up" button?
1127801
Go ask that minty green unicorn to help you get thumbs
Well, you've definitely got plans, don't you? Just remember what Fyrenn said: "No plan survives contact with the enemy."
I've already watched, favorited, and liked, so all there is to do now is sit and wait.
As a side note, man you've been writing this for a long time. I can remember back when he was still Isaac, and that was, what, months ago.
A few stats for you all:
26 Days
226919 Total Words
8278 Words/Day
364 Words/Hour
The last two are likely to be much, much higher, since the calculations assume the story was being developed 24/7.
Quick Question... What story is Zecora and her adopted half-changeling Mimic from?
1128430
The dates for some of the chapters are incorrect thanks to some sort of fimfiction timekeeping bug.
I started the story the same time I registered; almost exactly 13 weeks ago (about 91 days) in May.
1128070
My Characters usurp my plans all the time.
They're aliiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiive.
1127801
I'll take thumb talons too. *needed Gilda emote here*
1127551
You absolutely called it spot on.
Well done sir!
1128506
Mimic is rigomi's creation, in a non-TCB timeline she features (in a sense) in this story: The Spoken Word
But she may also feature in a Gammaverse timeline story as well, who knows?
To everyone; thanks so much for the positivity. It really keeps me going, and focused, to know that people are deriving enjoyment from the story!
there's going to be a sequal? good cause frankly this was so epic i may have to make this the bar and put all the authors like julus vern on the lower ranks. you are an amazing writer and this is truly the best bearu story to ever be created. also, dragons? thats gonna be freaken awsome.
Woo! I got into the credits, despite not putting in as much time as I had wanted to. But I did realize you used my idea about gryphons being better at metalworking than ponies.
Other thoughts... Yeah, each chapter's date listed is the date it was last edited/updated.
Stuff for a sequel: I can see the newfoals pushing for a more overtly representative government, and the process looking like how Gandhi lead India to independence. (Which could cause backlash from the PER types who revered Princess Celestia as a goddess)
On the subject of peaceful movements, I can see Inside Joke trying to lead one among the changelings.
Personally, I considered it an even bet that Chrysalis was the one behind both the PER and the HLF.
Oh yeah! Are you going to try and edit/polish the whole thing, now that the story is complete?
Edit: The reason I can see the push for representative government working eventually is one of the things I liked about this story: Celestia WANTS the humans' ideas, and wants to shake up Equestria into improving using those ideas. But changes that size won't be easy, so make good plot fodder.
1130036
Possibly, but certainly not any time 'soon.'
I'll have a full plate juggling new stories.
As for a more open government in the Equestrian Nation; I seriously doubt Celestia would object.
Her major beef is that the constitutional monarchy she's tried to create keeps lapsing back into a total monarchy with every boring detail thrust on her shoulders, because her Ponies *are* a bit obsessed with her, and slightly incompetent overall when it comes to expansionism and hardcore leadership.
She's very much hoping the newfoals' Human qualities, in those regards, will get permanently bred into the population genetically, culturally, and mentally.
As for Chrys.......
.....
....In the words of Q "You'll find out."
1113444
Heh.
In my story, I just decided that neither Lauren Faust or Gene Roddenberry existed, and this was what led to World War III.
So comes an end to what is definitely one of the more interesting takes on the CB universe. Rather sad to see it end, but all stories must, sooner or later.
Oughta be interesting to see what comes down the pipeline within this set of parameters....
Joined FiMFiction just so I could favorite this and get email notifications.
I'd have to say, this is one of the best things I've read in quite a long time...
Also, I made le terrible fan art: http://aeniug2.deviantart.com/#/d5c403o
1134541
Greatest thing i HAVE ever SEEN. I didnt even write this story(just a lowly prereader) and i have to thank you for that.
1134541
oh my WORD...... you did it.....
That's so amazing I may actually die of gratitude....
Would you mind sending me an imgur or tinypic or some other embeddable link of that so I can ensconce it in a blog post here?
1134946
Check your PMs.
1135141
mmm... .Hope I got this reply thing right...
Anyways, I trust this will suffice? http://imgur.com/wmr8w
1135458
Perrrrrrfeeeeeect.
Hmm, read it all from start to finish.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say you like Gryphons. It's coming across very strongly. (This is only approaching "an issue" for me, because I feel like someone's trying to sell me something just a wee bit too hard.)
Now, good and bad.
Good - You set your world up for further adventures quite nicely.
You did a pretty darn good job of fleshing out the not-equine races in Equestria.
Favorite character has to be Stan. I like him.
The world you painted for the story was also quite neat - especially liked the Gryphon culture and homelands description.
You had AI, too. I like me some computers in my stories.
Dem plot twists - Of the last... three, four big reveals, I only guessed one or two. (If Fyrenn's revival counts as a big reveal) and the others were actual "wait, what the fuck" moments for me. (One was down to me not catching the Chekhov's Body Armor early on, and I did like that.)
Bad - IJ was perhaps a little too obvious, and as a character, I just considered her to be... hm. Just wrong, I guess. She never fit in, and she just hovered around the group.
Gryphons are perhaps a little too overpowered, here - overlookable in this context, given the ludicrous power levels of everything else, but a hero that never loses isn't a very "fun" hero, and the one time the hero did "lose", I felt a little deus ex machina up in there with how he survived a bomb to the face. Give with one hand, take with the other. You did some taking, but it didn't seem like much. Even when you did take with two hands (Skye), you wound up giving it all back with your plot twists and big reveals.
AIs were much like IJ, unfortunately - they felt tacked-on, and never really clicked. "Chuck", for all his novelty, was a rather forgettable character. (If he even qualifies.)
Overall? You've crafted a neat little world, and populated it with the kind of dystopian future-earth that I like and an accompanying Equestria. Only real gripe is that Gryphons get played up to the nines, then can't do jack against a new foe, which feels like that thing where power levels just get astronomically ridiculous, and shirtless fighters grow more and more glowing hair. I... don't really want to see Gryphons glowing gold, growing manes as long as they are and fighting with nine-digit power-levels against things that have more "final" transformations than I have fingers.
It's getting a thumbs up from me in any case, I'm keen to see where you take it. For all my whining about Gryphons, they are a fresh look at the TCB-verse.
Also, as an in-universe hypothetical question, what would happen if an AI didn't get the personality cut out of it, or managed to regrow it, perhaps?
1235486
It couldn't. Personality is an aspect of the soul, it can't be transposed to digital format; all you get is white noise that uselessly bogs down the program, or makes it inoperable. You might could make a passable facsimile of a personality by way of complex programs to mimic sentient responses with emotional drivers, but it wouldn't mean that AI actually has a soul, just a really good fake 'game face.'
This is why ultimately Chuck is a gadget, not a character; he can't ever have motivations or struggles.
1235482
IJ has... other reasons for existing. That's all Ima say in that regard for now.
As for power levels; power is meant to be the problem here. There's more than one reason you could never see HiE in this universe. Even if the barrier was Human-permeable, a Human couldn't survive in Equestria. Biological obsoletion has set in with a vengeance. As Genesis will prove, we can overcome that with pure tech rather than new biology, but that introduces an unacceptable cost that truly takes away the soul aspects of Humanity that conversion ultimately preserves.
Also, thankfully, Gryphons don't glow. Their eggs do, very very softly, about 70% of the glow of a lit indiglo watch face perhaps.
1235513
It begins, the great ridiculous power escalation of our time
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They glow because, as mentioned about their reproduction, the process is Thaumatic.
The light lasts for about the initial third of the growth cycle, after which is starts to fade and the shell of the egg gets more opaque.
At the same time the egg begins producing a small amount of heat; this is the primary indicator that its still healthy. If the light vanishes but the heat doesn't manifest then its likely the hatchling died in-egg, which can happen under non-ideal conditions such as frigid cold, or lack of parental prescense for too long. Gryphon eggs are structurally quite tough but by contrast the life inside is very fragile. Merely dropping the egg a short ways, a ten degree drop in temprature, the absence of both parents for more than a day.... all these can kill the hatchling.
So in this Conversion Bureau story, the earth been in this state for decades.
Wren/ Fryen as never seen a blue sky until he steed into Equestrian side of the barrier.
I know at one point Guardian_Gryphon said in his story how long was it since the quantum experiment that cause the ecological disaster for human earth.
I just don't recall now.
I would think the earth of his story is at the tail end of its 100 years of downfall.
In Guardian_Gryphon's story towns like Ponyville isn't settled until after the barrier. I was Wondering then is Apple Jack's Familly, or rather the Familly that Granny Smith came to settle and found Ponyville are a family of all new-foal? It would explain the Apple Family's country accent and Apple Jack's Hat. Considering Guardian_Gryphon stated that Equestria was very medieval before convert's came to populate, and why so many Equestria towns and cities sound like parodies of human cities.
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Doing that has definitely crossed my mind as part of an interesting story idea.
Whether or not it happens is still up-in-the-air.
At present, Threshold takes precedence to much else, just due to the semester load forcing other things out. (sadly)
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Dat beast
Thanks for taking the time to comment, and provide encouragement; it means alot to me.
I view cameos as a way of saying either, 'the universe is big and winding, and sometimes paths cross; and that's cool' or 'this inspired me enough that I felt I could legitimately cross paths with it smoothly as a kind of thanks.'
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I'd love to see that.... Fyrenn just handing little filly Skye to Varan or something.
Priceless
1127326 Amen to that, it was one hell of a ride, now to start reading the prequel!
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I'm very glad you enjoyed it!
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I always liked the Sangheili; sadly I only own Halo 2 because M$ won't get wise and port 3/Reach/4/Wars/Anniversary to PC.
I consider it worth getting a console someday when I have more time and money.
Either way, I loved the Covenant as a whole for not going down the 'aliens are humans with nose ridges' route.
Elites are still my go-to example for 'cool aliens that look 'different' '
Heck, I'd play a whole game devoted to the Covenant's history, from an Elite POV.
It'd be radical, refreshing, and ratherly cool.
I just had a thought. is gryphonization going to be purely for the human military? what happens if you get any civilians (i.e people with no formal military training or experience) meeting the gryphons criteria? it would be interesting to see something like explored a little in the sequel.
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You can see some of that in both the sequel, and some stories other authors are working on (but have not yet released).
To make a long story short; as stated military service isn't compulsory but most go into it, therefore as you can see a glimpse of in Rigomi's 'State of Mind,' the Gryphons offer training to all newfledges according to their skills, including those with none. Gryphons don't really require you to be military capable from a skill or bodily standpoint, more from a moral and will-power standpoint.
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ah, I see now, thank you for satisfying my curiosity.
And because i forgot to say this earlier, superb story sir. superb story.
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Why thank you!
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They're ruthless, clever, and extremely self-absorbed.
It made sense they'd go overboard looking for ways to inflict their will on people.
If you like seeing comeuppance though, be sure to keep reading.
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Well, Gryphons both are and aren't 'always' lawful good.
With them, there is a different subtle point to be made; the fact that while they always stick to *their* morality, that the courses they take as a result can be abrasive, painful, and even come off as wrong by other standards of morality. A Gryphon has a not-always-good tendency to choose the greatest 'justice' over the greatest 'good.'
Read the chapter I wrote with Gilda in it; you might be pleasantly surprised. (I hope)
Admittedly, I also wanted to explore the idea of fixed morals in a race as a trait. It brings interesting things to the table.
Gryphons' flaws include mild racism, xenophobia, and pride... logical for a race with strict uniform morals who live and die by them, and know they can trust their own, but not necessarily outsiders.
And again, because this cripples their diplomatic capability it causes interesting interactions with Ponies, who are good enough diplomats and friend-makers to both see past the Gryphons' flaws/walls, and to handle their alliances *for* them. In turn, Ponies look to Gryphons for protection.
Symbiosis.
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Oh don't worry....
I'ts much *worse* than that
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Trouble wasn't the disparagement as much as the info itself.
It was the potential for a serious leak; they needed to know how Stan got information it was flat out illegal for him to have.
Funnily enough, it doesn't turn out the way you might think.
Gryphons aren't good with PR anyways; we aren't a diplomatic species by any stretch of the imagination.
Until ive read this story completely i cannot give it serious rewiew.
However that doesnt stop me from summarizing the whole freaking humanity and ponies:
We homo sapiens are awsome and badass. We are also ponies and still jackasses.
Meaning, reasons most want to be ponies or griffins ect. or have any conversion at al is mostlikely total self interest, but also realization we want to make damn sure what is good AND bad about us is not forgotten nor ignored.
So yeah havent read it to the end yet but... already i have this sensation of realism much more than even NON-conversion related stories
Although for what ive seen people talking... *shudders* ther might not be internet?
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In the end there likely will be.
There is much discussion among Human Archivists about the concept of a Thaumatic Computer.
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Why cant there be internet and all other pop-culture instantly? :P
What would be the harm?
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Its not an issue of harm so much as an issue of physics; complex Earth materials (Human biology included) can not survive barrier transit.
Think of it as taking a flash-copy of the data in the RAM of a Linux machine and dropping it into the RAM of a Windows 7 machine (if such insane wizardry were possible) there would be an instant crash and loss of that volatile (IE temporary) data.
Its taking them time to figure out Thaumatic computing because the Equestrians never put their minds to such an idea, so it has to be invented from scratch, and that's bound to take a few years.
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Ahh allrighty then. Thanks anyhow, i wills till read it though i was hoping there was story somewhere where this "barrier" didnt exist and we could convert everything
Well ok some thigns might be left behind, but technology and all complex stuff could go trough. But ill still read it and i dont condemn your awsome story and writing effort for it ^^
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Its a bit of a balance; we can't take technology but we can easily take designs for it.
I just didn't want to go the direction of instant-technical-advancement-to-modern-level in my Equestria.
Certainly some things change, and in my head-canon this is why you see such odd juxtapositions of tech levels in the series proper.
Within a few centuries though complex human tech will be more prolific. The head-on smashing-together of human design and Equestrian tech level/magic results in a very steampunk magi-tech world shortly down the line.
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Oki doki fair enough.
Reason i have the ideas that i do is because the conflits and hijinxs that ensue from human pop-culture meeting equestria would be...
...both hilarious, interesting and glorious. I mean surely you would personally have some ideas of awsome mixes even fi you include them in this story?