Rarity admired the blueprint spread out on the wooden workbench in front of her. Her short experience as a designer was just enough for her to be able to appreciate the quality of this plan, even if it wasn't her branch of art at all. A famous pony once said that perfection was impossible, but a designer's job was to spend his life trying to reach it. She had started to see glimpses of what perfection could be in the design of her dresses, and how far she was from reaching it. In truth, the massive gap between her current abilities and that mental goal was sometimes frightening and encouraging her at the same time.
Although she had no training in architecture, she could see a lifetime of hard work towards perfection in the papers in front of her. They breathed experience, control and the mastering of an art form. She could only hope to reach such levels when she would be the age of their author. Rarity smiled and looked over her shoulder when she recognized the distinct gait of the brown earth pony trotting towards her. Nopony could figure out how old he really was from his energetic bouncing steps. His short silver mane had traces of the original pitch black color, but it was just long enough that they would freely flow in the wind. His square lines and rigid posture hinted at a life of physical work. He was a very old stallion who managed to keep the heart of a colt.
"Still looking at those silly doodles?" he asked with a friendly smile.
She smiled back. "Are you sure it's alright for you to help me rebuild my shop?"
Of course he knew what she was talking about, but he feigned ignorance pretending to think with a hoof on his jaw. "Oh! You mean the designer guild?" he said and blew a raspberry. "Those lazy aristocrats can eat a bale of hay for all I care."
"Be serious for a moment uncle Clé," she pleaded. She wasn't related to him in any form, but for her he was part of the family. "I would hate if it was giving you troubles."
Clé de Voûte, master architect, laughed at the idea. "They could try," he pouted. "It could be fun, but they won't. I'm currently designing and constructing a dozen buildings all over Equestria. Contracts for almost a quarter of a billion bits! I doubt any of those paper-pushers will do anything about it. They couldn't absorb the economical impact even if they wanted to," he said with pride. "Did you know I was supposed to retire five years ago? And yet this year my company received more contracts then ever before."
Rarity ignored the attempt at changing the topic. She pointed at the blueprint, which half a dozen construction ponies were currently working to implement at the spot her old shop used to stand. "How much? You still haven't told me your price."
"Nothing!" he said while shaking his head. Seeing she was about to argue, he raised a hoof to interrupted her. "And it's not open to negotiation," he finished with a look that didn't leave place for objection. He stood at her side. "I heard you became the bearer of the Element of Generosity?" he whispered.
"Not that it's any secret..."
"... but you still have a lot to learn about it," he finished. She gave him a confused look. "The Elements choose well. I'm sure your parents are very proud. You and your family are some of the most generous ponies I've met." He looked away. "And I've been in the receiving end of that generosity more than once in the past four or five decades. However, you should know that generosity is not a one-way street, being generous inspires generosity in others. Learning to gracefully receive it when in need is also an important skill," he explained, dead serious.
"I was about your age, when I made a terrible mistake," he started. Rarity didn't interrupt him even though she had heard that story more times than she could remember. "It was my second... or third contract and the investors found a loophole. They managed to remove their funding while I would still have to do the work. I was left on the road, forced to sell my home to pay for the construction. I was at a point where I was sure my career was over; who would accept to work with a pony who had nothing left?" He snorted. "That's when your grandfather invited me for a meal."
He looked at her. "You know, back then, I came very close to refusing his offer. Even if I was down for the count, I still had my pride, no matter how misplaced it was. A complete stranger welcoming me in his home? I didn't know him and I had no need for his pity. But... When you haven't eaten for a week, things aren't that simple."
"So, you accepted?" Rarity asked knowing full well the answer.
"I accepted," he replied. "I didn't understand why he did it. He had to take care of five foals already! He was already working overtime in some nameless factory. The last thing he needed was another mouth to feed!" He nodded at the memory. "A decade later I managed to get an answer out of him as to why he did it. He simply said that he saw potential in me, and that he hated nothing more than wasted potential." He stared at Rarity. "I guess I got this flaw from him," he said with a wink.
His stoic stance faltered. "So, how terrible are they?" he asked pointing at the workbench with a large smile.
"They are amazing."
"Non-sense!" he shouted playfully. "If I had a year or two to design those they would be a hundred times better!"
Rarity frowned while staring at the plans; she didn't ask him anything. She had a hard time imagining how they could be made any better. When she was young, she had visited his workshop a few times. Seeing all those blueprints, she was sure she could draw some as well as them. After all, she was a unicorn and uncle Clé was an earth pony. No doubt she could draw like him with her magic! She could levitate four or five pens at a time and draw very quickly. Reality hit pretty hard when she saw him draw using his mouth and his front hooves. He was drawing many times faster than her, his lines were perfectly straight and always the right length. Even today, while drawing dress templates she was nowhere near his speed or precision. After all, unlike him, her cutie mark was not about drawing blueprints. "I don't see how..."
"Perfection, right?" he asked.
"What?"
"When you look at one of your latest dresses, you automatically see what's wrong with it, how to improve it. Am I right?" he asked with that annoying smile.
"I guess," she replied, unsure where he was going with it.
"I'm sure you do. And you think that one day you will craft a dress in which you won't find things to improve?" he said in a tone a teacher would take.
Rarity finally understood where he was going. "You're telling me it won't happen?"
"Not a chance. I have no doubt one day you will craft a masterpiece for which you will be remembered for centuries to come. You will complete it and ponies will be in awe about it. But while they cheer you on, you will think it's atrocious, seeing mistakes and things to change and to improve on in your next design. Such is the destiny of a true designer, my dear," he explained.
Rarity needed a moment to digest his words, then she pointed again at the plans. "So, this is?"
"A horror, an abomination, no less," he said, his head pointed up and his mouth twisted in disgust. He leaned towards her. "You should see what I'm designing for the Economical Exchange Tower in New Colt; a chef-d'œuvre."
"Until?" she asked with a playful smile.
"Until it's done of course!" he said as dramatically as he could, feigning surprise. "For which, at that point, it will be utterly rubbish."
Rarity smiled at the display. Her friends always said she was putting up quite a show and that she could have been a dramatic actress. Obviously, none of them had ever met Clé, who was at a completely different level. She had no doubt he acted, no matter how slightly, as a role model for her in her youth. Sometimes she wondered if she didn't retain more from him than from her father.
A few weeks ago, after that adventure in Canterlot, she had found a temporary place to stay in Twilight's guest room at the library, ruminating on her future or lack of one. She was sure her career was over. Being expelled from the guild of designers wasn't something anypony could easily overcome. The influence of the guild reached even beyond the borders of Equestria. She had wondered what profession she could perform; selling gems maybe?
Then Fancy Pants came and ordered a dozen dresses from her. She tried to explain to him that her shop was destroyed and that without a proper license from the guild he couldn't sell her creations in his own shops. He shrugged saying that they were for his wife Fleur-de-Lis. He asked to send him a letter when they would be ready, and that he didn't care how long it would take. He even paid in advance. She tried to make him understand, but he wouldn't hear a word.
He was the first of a few more ponies who came to order personal creations. And then Princess Cadance showed up at the library, also placing orders for a list of official events that would take place over the next year in the Empire. A few days later, while reading the newspaper, Rarity almost choked on her coffee. Somehow, the news ponies had learned about the Princess's visit to Ponyville and inquired why she did business with a dishonored designer.
"She made my wedding dress, and it was perfect. I have no say in how the guild handles their decision or their membership, and fortunately for me, they don't have a say in how I dress myself," was her declaration.
With Twilight's agreement, Rarity started to use the basement of the library as a small atelier, working on only one dress at a time due to the space limitation. To her surprise, she found that concentrating on a small number of unique creations was far more rewarding than the quantity she used to produce to supply shops across Equestria. None of her orders had any deadline, so she could put more time in her designs, something she didn't always have the luxury of.
Her career wasn't dead and it had taken a different path, one that she could not ever have predicted. She still wasn't sure if it wasn't for the best.
Then Clé came, with plans already made. Craftsponies were already working on making those blueprints a reality. He then proceeded to completely ignore every word she said. She tried very hard to give him something, anything, in exchange but he was a master at passing over her requests. Multiple times he managed to change the subject of discussion without Rarity even noticing it until it was too late.
“Thank you,” she said and gave him a little kiss on the cheek.
The architect gave her a surprised look which turned into such a large smile that she blushed. "My pleasure."
Nothing impressive here I'm afraid. Needed, but maybe a bit boring.
And another amazing thank to Shutaro for his corrections!
2601462
Progress is progress though! :P
Keep at it!
I think it's nice
Oooh, the Shadowy Ponies are gonna be maaaad . . . If there are any left, of course.
2619026
Yeah, I think they're going to be around for a while yet. Personally I just imagine the shadow ponies to be pre-internet Anonymous.
2619026
I think those are like Freemasons. Just when you thing you got them all you find another lodge.
Yeahhhhh, did they really think they could discredit a designer who personally knows and has worked for multiple princesses?
2619170 Somepony are just that foalish.
How to stick it to the "man".
2601462
After reading this chapter, and then reading your comment on the bottom of the page .
It was a good chapter, and I'm glad that Rarity finally is getting something good happening to her after she got shafted by the shadow pony group.
2619245 I've been writing stories for just a bit over a year I think. I'm not there yet by a long shot! Just ask Shutaro, my prereader. I have no idea where he finds the patience! What I write is simply riddled with errors, inversions or wrong verb tenses. What makes perfect sense in French makes none in English. For example, the verb usage is completely different when spoken in past tenses.
Let's say... Right now I am at the stage where I see how terrible it is, but I can't do much for it just yet. Every times Shutaro fixes something, I learn something new. (In hope that I won't give him the same mistake to correct another time)
2619264
Well life is a learning experience . Thank your Prereader for me, he's doing a good job getting this story readable. And if you're learning how to write in english, from french. That's an accomplishment, and you'll only get better with practice.
2619176
You liked the d'awww in this one?
shamelessly abuses prereader privileges
You have seen nothing yet.
2619127
I read your comment, and all I could do was start laughing as I recalled Monty Python's 'Architect Sketch.'
2619716
I can't even imagine how ponies would do a secret hoofshake. Those pony-mansons must be a lot better at hiding then ours.
2619793
"I've got a second-hoof apron . . . "
"Thank you!"
2619264
Holy cow! You're
crosscompilingwriting in your non-native tongue? I'm impressed. That's dedication. I salute your editor, but I doubly salute you. As a reader, I appreciate that each story is a little (and sometimes not so little) gift from the author, but writing it an another language makes you all the more generous.2620093
343 read later.
2619229 having the princesses ordering from you and have it when you can get to it on your crowded list of orders, the man ain't even a upstart blueballs confronting Twilight
Just noticed... I started writing this story exactly a year ago. Talk about being slow and/or lazy.
This story was registered May 23 2012.
This chapter was heartwarming in the extreme, and not just in the classical daww sense.
Seeing so many great ponies rally to one who needs them most... words cannot describe!
If those shadow ponies try to put Rarity down again, there's going to be a lot of collateral damage.
She tried to explain to him that her shop was destroyed and that without a proper license from the guild he couldn't sell her creations in his own shops.
Would Celestia and Luna really permit such tyranny and obstruction of free trade?
This is a beautiful way to end a chapter! <3
2620832 Even in the US, you can't sell your stuff unless you got a license. They are princesses, not empresses. The US president is also limited in what he can do. He cannot pass laws all by himself, the congress got to validate them.
2620810 I have one... but there's limit to what he can do considering the material I supply him.
Looks very interesting. I have some writing myself to do (non pony) but After my proofing tonight maybe I can catch a couple chapters.
I like this story. I like the plot, I like the worldbuilding. I like some of the characterizations. But a lot of the characters are presented terribly OOC from the show, everyone is SHOUTING ALL THE TIME FOR SOME REASON, and you really, really need an editor: "but Rarity didn't stopped", "Somehow, the walls were lighted up just enough", and plenty more.
The seal was a particularly clever chekhov's gun, but I disagree at how it was utilized. It seems like twilight should have been in mortal danger before the seal would suddenly break.
this story is awesome and I am actually liking blueblood a bit after this LE GASP
Excellent and awesome.
Keep up the good work. I really like the story, can't what to see who the real bad guy is.
2621612 Why her and not her friends? I don't think it's really OOC for her to lose it if she thinks her friends are dying vs herself being in danger. Well, she was in mortal danger, but I would find it pretty... underwhelming if it was only her being that was at risk.
Why do you say everypony is shouting all the time? (beside Shining Armor) Nopony shouted anything in the last chapter!
Mind explaining more what you think is OOC?
Also... What's wrong with "Somehow, the walls were lighted up just enough"?
2622167 Ok... You're not the first to say that... Mind explaining? Bookworm, science, magic and a huge curiosity. What did I do wrong for Twilight?
2622356
The past tense of light is lit, not lighted - it should be "lit up just enough". Again, you really need an editor. Or more proofreaders, or something.
The issue is that twilight didn't seem like she was in immediate peril. She was in trouble, yes, but she wasn't literally about to die. It depends on if the seal is breaking due to emotional turmoil or breaking due to self-preservation, in which case twilight's had a lot more emotional turmoil previously, which probably should have been lampshaded and explained as weakening the seal. THEN her concern for her friends breaking the seal makes sense.
The shouting got a bit better in the last chapter, incidentally, but just as an example:
Followed almost immediately by:
We get this in Chapter 9:
And then there's this gem:
They are not screaming. You can only scream a single word, as in "NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO" or maybe screaming someone's name. Otherwise screaming is an incoherent noise. There are some other instances I can't immediately find where ponies were yelling at each other when they really should have just raised their voices, or perhaps said things in an excited manner. Shouted is probably a much better word for Twilight and Blueblood. Celestia was not yelling, she was wailing in anguish and despair. For Azure's excited outburst, perhaps have her squeal with joy, not scream. This largely seems to be a vocabulary problem, as there are plenty of ways to talk loudly without screaming or yelling.
Also I just noticed, it should be Family Crisis, not Crysis. Crysis is the name of a game, it's not actually a word.
The princesses are wildly out of character, as they are never seen as emotionally vulnerable even in distressing situations (see a canterlot wedding). If you want to show a softer side of them, you can't just have them up and bawl their eyes out when in the show the most they ever do is talk loudly.
Rarity seems out of character for me because she almost never uses her magic in the show for anything outside of manipulating small objects, ever. She has no combat training and zero interest in what twilight studies, and knows only basic levitation magic. A lot of this could be worked into the story without much fuss, but you don't really do anything to ease us into this characterization, it's just dropped on us without any real clarification except the occasional "oh I have an excited filly at home" as if this handwaves away all the issues.
Twilight isn't really out of character, like what other people are saying, she just isn't written properly. She doesn't feel like twilight and she keeps reacting to things in an exaggerated manner. Her actions are within the realms of how twilight would act, but the details keep getting mucked up. That's more of a practice thing, though.
2622727
Actually, according to my dictionary both forms "lid" and "lighted" are correct. Maybe that is a American English / British English issue I didn't spot? We had those a couple of times before.
A big on the "Crysis" thing.
I have to agree with you on the vocabulary issue. Suggestions are welcome and I'd like to point out that I am in no way monopolizing this position. Just ask and I'm reasonably sure Lightstriker will give you access. Then you too can ... bask in the greatness that is an unedited chapter.
The point you make about the princess being OOC... Well what do we know about the princesses? Next to nothing. The only two scenes where we see more of Celestia than her role "Princess Celestia of Equestria" are after her failure to stop Crysalis and when she joins Twilight during "Magical Mystery Cure". In fact, the picture of Celestia having bottled up issues is quite common in the fandom. If I wasn't on a break now I would be tempted to look it up on tvtropes.
And there is even less actual canon on Luna, besides her role as princess of the night and the anachronistic way she speaks in "Luna eclipsed". If you don't like that a story expands on that... well, what's a creative person to do?
2623026
I've only ever heard "lighted" used very, very rarely. The primary reason I bring it up here is that in this specific context it sounds particularly awkward.
We can have arguments about OOC all day long and we won't get anywhere. I think the princesses are OOC. Lightstriker can choose to do something about this or not.
Editing the occasional Lapis Lazuli story is quite enough work already, thanks :P
2622357
Right at the beginning of chapter 2, and her mysterious acceptance of her "sixth sense".
2622727 http://grammarist.com/usage/lighted-lit/ and http://www.englishrules.com/writing/2006/lit-and-lighted/
I think Lit and Lighted both work. "Were lighted just enough" is acceptable, from what I understand. But not speaking English, I admit I have no idea which is most commonly used. Like Forward vs Forwards... or Gray vs Grey.
I cannot disagree with that. I will use more synonyms next time and research a bit more the differences between scream, shout, yell and so on.
Oups
Think it comes from my background.
Yes, it's different from the show. And no, it wouldn't fit the show. However, I don't see it as being out of character from the little we know. Yes, it is quite an extrapolation, but the show didn't provide much else than a stoic mother figure. In the show, Celestia is boring uni-dimensional character. We know Celestia took care of Twilight for a long time, and we can assume she thinks of her as a good friend. For me, it's cumulative. Celestia keep sending Twilight to face some dangers and for the first time she is physically hurt. Dangers that Celestia created or didn't properly remove. Knowing his opponent, she knows she could have died. While against Discord (and partially against Sombra), it was more her mind that was at risk. My point is, I see her as a very old being who learned, from her role, to be stoic and not let any emotions be seen. However, sending her best friend to keep facing danger that she failed to properly eliminate creates an obvious feeling of guilt, that builds over time. With a week without sleep, her emotional control was weak enough for a short nervous breakdown. When the dam breaks, one that held water for centuries, there should be a lot of water.
You may not like it. I even wonder if I didn't overdid it (I tend to do that sometimes). However, you cannot build on a character without adding something. Considering how Celestia is a dry and empty character, adding anything will make her out of character.
Well, what is the only spell she does? Levitation. She doesn't need combat training to have quick reflex. And she uses it only once, on a small object. You could easily imagine all the pranks and accidents Sweetie Bell generates in a normal week. Sorry, but I feel this part is somewhat of a nitpicking on a 1-2 lines of text in a chapter that has no consequences in the overall story. Or did I missed something obvious?
2623491 It's not a real sixth sense and she didn't accept anything. Come on, she even tries to rationalize it, trying to prove it's the forest's fault. For all we know, she subconsciously saw some ponies running outside and her mind warned her something was wrong. I'm surprise you focused on an ability and not a character's trait. Since when an ability makes a character out of character? And in this case, it was more an introduction than a real ability. More of a way to bring the new events. It's inconsequential and I don't plan to reuse it at all.
2623541
My main problems with Rarity are actually how she responds to Twilight's magic, not her use of levitation. Rarity really shouldn't be able to recognize that Twilight did very powerful, complex magic, because everything Twilight does is powerful complex magic, at least to her. There are several other instances where Rarity's cleanliness OCD seems like it should have showed up, but she's busy talking about magic detection spells, which seems really odd.
2623560
Whoa, settle down now.
2623566 But... I am. Is something wrong?
2623562 Well, to me, most people should be able to tell the difference of levels between... My mother's painting and the Jocombe. You don't need to be an expert to tell the differences, right? If magic formulas are drawn using patterns and shapes, I would guess anyone could tell the difference of levels between different formulas, even if they don't understand what the formula is about. She is a unicorn, so my guess she at least got a basic magic training at some point, and while not an expert by a long shot, could at least understand the implications.
Yes, I could have made her start cleaning Twilight's parent's house, or put some emphasis on her attempts to clean her mane. I don't think I could find any good timing for that. But I also see Rarity as a pony who can focus on the task at hoof. To me, she has much more control over her cleanliness OCD versus Twilight's control of her own OCD. She did dive in a trashcan just for a quick excuse.
2623610
The thing is, she isn't looking at the spells, she's watching twilight cast them. It's like when I'm programming and I make someone jump on the screen, people think it's kind of cool when it actually took thousands of lines of code to make that happen. Then I add 10 more lines of code to make it shoot something and everyone thinks this is the best thing ever. Without knowing what's going on behind the scenes, it can actually be very difficult to tell just how complex a spell is, especially when magic is involved.
2623649 Might be true, if you're talking about someone who has no clue what so ever. But Rarity is a unicorn... I could say, she created a flash game or a small game using Unity3D. She did a dozen lines of code and re-used a lot of existing libraries. Or she didn't code anything and only created a map. It's not a gamer who never created anything. But even someone with no game devs background could see the difference of complexity between Super Mario's jump and Ezio's jump.
By the way, if it takes you thousands lines of code to make a jump, you might have a problem.
2623683
Getting someone to jump is hard when you need it to happen inside a complex physics engine, because then you have to code an entire physics engine.
2623715 But the complex physic engine is not the jump code, even if it calls methods from it.
You are aware of my background, right?
2623729
Come now, you know what i'm referring to. The code must still be there to make the character jump. Now we're just splitting hairs!
2623737 If you take it like that, making a character jump takes hundred of thousands of lines of code... Because you need all the code for the threading, the input, the drawing, the physic. But most people who code the jump of a character won't go rewrite the physic engine nor the graphic renderer.
2620093 Well, shit
Azure should trick twilight into letting her use her horn to make her an Alicorn.