• Member Since 28th Jun, 2015
  • offline last seen Mar 4th, 2017

Jigsaw


Part-time writer, Full-time student

T

Two inventors, Jigsaw and Short Circuit, have been looking for a place to start their new business inventing new products for the pony public. For them, Ponyville seems like the best option. Although, they may have more problems than they let on...

Tags will change as the story progresses.

Chapters (4)
Comments ( 2 )

A little clunky on Twilight's dialogue in one place.

"That was before I figured out friendship is a good thing. At the time, I thought studying hard enough could solve all my problems."

But I got a good laugh outta this line

Down the road, several ponies took cover from the light hail of bolts, gears, and the two nuts...

Well played.

The inclusion of canon characters, let alone the whole mane six, is ambitious. You have my applause. Of course it's in the execution and not just the inclusion that we tend to truly distinguish ourselves. I wish you well as you continue this story.

Your OC's have fairly good interactions with each other, but haven't yet established much of a personality. It'll be interesting to see them develop.

6150305 Thanks for your advice. I'm planning on much more character development as the story progresses. Also, I'm fairly new to writing in general, so please forgive me for the clunky dialogue. I'll try to watch out for that in the future.

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