Naruto lands in Equestria with no memory of his past and unconscious. After being saved by Twilight and finding a friend in her and Princess Luna he begins his new life on Equestria. However what he doesn't know is that Luna is in love with him and will do anything to stay by his side. Not only that there's a deranged dark unicorn who wants to rule Equestria! Naruto good luck.
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How do Naruto get there and does he have the nine tails in him and how do he get there?
6131145 It will be explained later in the story also, I dont want to give out any spoilers but it wouldnt be Naruto without his nine tailed buddy now would it.
6131156 true ok I will ok after it.
Great story so far. Keep it up! I love both of the shows.
6131709 THank you I do to which is why I did the two together. Also is that a different form of Nightmare Moon as your avatar picture?
Yes, I do think so. But it could be an entirely different pony; either way I like the art in it.
6136155 I dont remember ever putting art in this? Where do you see this?
6136155 sorry if I sound condescending I dont mean to. I was just pleasantly surprised. Also I should have the second chapter up by tomorrow.
I am not complaining, not really at least, but that was a bit out of Character for him i guess, Naruto should really not be a gentleman so sudden.
aaaahhhhh he doesn´t remember a thing.
I hope it isn´t like hundred Mares would fall in love with him, i don´t know if this is supposed to be a harem story, but it only looks unrealistic, if all of the main six should fall in love with him.
It is also a bit strange that he swarms of everyone of the main six, or should i say, that every emotion he get´s from them, makes him react to strongly in my opinion. At least if it happens with so many ponys.
DO you have a proofreader?, i could be wrong, but i think an editor/proofreader could correct some smaller things, it looks a bit like i would have written it, and i don´t like my grammar that much, however it is not too bad, i just think it could help you.
How? I don´t remember Twilight sending a letter, please don´t tell me Celestia can feel it if a Pony is looking for a home, maybe you could add something like this to this chapter?
this situation seems to be nice, and more real.
I feel like you should use Stallion/Mare, Colt/filly, pony, and special somepony not boyfriend, after a while reading this, it feels weird to read boyfriend again, they are not anthro right?
a bit late maybe, because i think that you missed to mention that letter befor, but maybe i didn´t saw it.
Till now it are only two, or three ponys that like him right?, and he likes nearly five of them correct?
It is probably personal preference, but i hope he isn´t that perfect, that every Pony in Ponyville is after him in no time, that would be a bit overdone for me, however i likke the story itself, and the part with Luna seems to be the best of this chapter.
Oh, haha. When I said "I like the art either way." I meant my profile picture. Anyways I await the arrival of next chapter.
6139520 Well you're both right and wrong. Naruto at the moment is a dense s.o.b. and has no idea and is more along the line of wanting to be as hospitable to Luna as possible. Also about the Luna thing. I read that part a while ago the problem is I keep forgetting to put the part where Twilight sends the letter in there. I do plan on editing these chapters when I am done with the story. Otherwise I do appreciate your feedback. It helps me as a writer. Also unless people would like me to do stories pretaining to the main 6 that involve Naruto falling for them then yes. It's actually a Luna x Naruto fic which will become prevalent in the next chapter. Sorry if it confuses you this was written two or so years ago and I have yet to go in and fix it.
I don´t really like it, that it are so many Ponys that start to love him in a way, it doesn´t seems to be very .........likely
The way you describe it, it is supposed to be like those harem animes, where every girl likes the main Char, but just one becomes his girlfriend.
I am not sure if i would dislike that in an anime too, but in a fanfiction, it doesn´t look very good for me.
I got over the fact, that there were two other Ponys that liked him, but Celestia seems to be a bit much, i mean she didn´t really talk much with him, just a short talk about her sister, and Naruto said almost the same about her the whole time.
I just can´t really believe that she likes him too.
If this was already written, and you just update it, maybe you should rewrite it, or make it even better.
6156401 DOnt worry it's supposed to sound like that at first just give it some time and you'll see what I mean. WHen I say just not in the way you think. Trust me its coming.
Hye, it me from FF.ne, Naruhina pwns here to let yaknow im followin this here as well.
6156471 Sweet thank you for coming over to my fimfiction. It really helps me.
Naruto and girls oh my HELP!
I somehow expected Miss Flash to make bread, and stuff like that, does that means Twilight isn´t a loyal customer of the pies ?
Okay in this chapter you made me wanting to have Pinkie Pie as his special somepony, she was somehow really sweet.
Not sure if that needed a reaction, but did she ignored, that he said he don´t want a Marefriend?, or in his Human terms Girlfriend?
I am really curious how you want to explain it, that not everyone does probably feeling love for him, it is just unlikely that everyone loves him in the first second they see him.
Does he already know that he loves her?, at least in his Dream he ws ready to admit it it seems.
Hey, what happened to all the other chapters? I been through this fic here on FIMF before, and all the chaps were here. What happened?
beware naruto, big sister is watching you
i really like this chapter especially the whole spying on them
looks like the ship had set sail
but i'm pretty sure a few specific mare aren't going to like this
well about the wedding i guess if they're at the wedding a few things would go different
if not i think they're somewhere lonely and being quiet........................................busy
6131156 or should I say Andrew 2013
, anyway, I read this story on fanfiction and I absolutely love this story. But what I don't get is why Naruto doesn't use any of his justus? Sure he has nine-tails and his ninja training, and that badass sword as well, but without his shadow clones and rasegan, it feels like he lost apart of himself, not including the memory loss.
6440771 oh it's mentioned in the first chapter he doesn't remember anything but his name...if you read it you'll see he doesn't even remember kurama and he refers to his powers as demonic in the fifth chapter or montrous
6443444 when will you update the next chapter of Fanfiction or here on Fimfiction?
Sup man, just begining to read your story and I love it :P too bad it isnt as long as I would have liked but It is good
P.S. Minor error of repetition here.
Gotta return to reading now.
6632348 Thanks I know this is in need of some real revamping but thanks for spotting that. I think I've overlooked that many times.
i really love it so far
it's really nice of them that they decided to adopt her
i can't wait for more
Interesting! A little quick, but very good so far!
Best story EVER!!! I can't wait for more chapters to come out
awesome chapters
i guess a specific someone has to think twice no before pissing him off
keep up the good work
I'm going to be one hundred percent honest. I was almost shaking with rage while I was reading this because of how stupid you made Naruto in the previous chapter. No one is even close to being dumb enough to not immediately recognize that it was Nightmare Moon when she appeared. The excuse of him just taking that hit to the head doesn't even remotely explain it either because Nightmare healed him and you even said that he had clarity again and he still couldn't figure it out. I'm giving this fic one more chance but if I see such an idiotic moment again I'm leaving
I hope you come back with another chapter for this story. Also there were a few out a placed words at the end that could be edited.
8276066
thanks for the notice I will take a look at it.
8280686
I love this story alot please upload more chapters soon as u can I'll be waiting my friend
any idea when we can expect an update and new chapter?
You will continue the story?