- Member Since 2nd Apr, 2015
- offline last seen May 2nd, 2019
Saw Star
Brony serving in the USAF. Love MLP and hopefully start popping out fanfics as soon as possible.
Saw Star
Joined 2nd Apr, 2015 ·
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Huh. It's a bit of a different take on the Soldier in Equestria fic. Not too shabby.
6101647
USAF Security Forces defender perspective... will he be a Royal Guard? Most definitely... will he also hold a high position next to the Princess? Probably. Question is, can he prevent the night of Lunas banishment?
A bit rushed and needs editing.
But very promising!
~ Defensor Fortis
92nd SFS FAFB, WA
1997-1999
6101703
Oh yeah it definitely came out i suggest watching it
hmm the nightmare moon part, i think it should be a plot twist that they find out the nightmare is a different entity that possessed luna in her moment of mental weakness, the plot twist should be that chris somehow gets taken over by nightmare and fight for control and stuff like that, would make good drama, but it is your story so you can choose
6108832
I could kind of see where that would go but its mostly a thing between the three. Also i dont want to confuse the audience.
This chapter,I like it. Another!(Thor reference) and have a like!(got ya to 10 so welcome to the double digits club)
There appears to be a problem with italics... :/
6110038
Yeah i noticed and its bugging the hell out of me
6111605 Easy. You just need to fix that first line by correcting or putting in a [ / i ] (with no spaces) at the end of the quotation below:
'For fucks sake these ponies are worse than base populace at the gates during a busy day.' he thinks to himself.
6112763
Thanks! Its fixed thank god...
Hmmm...
Perhaps the currents of time cannot be redirected as Chris intended after all.
The Coming of Shadows: Nightmare Chris?
6116068
Chris being Nightmare Moon? Gonna be quite the internal struggle.
welp, changed one event, the rest change with it...
Liking this story! Need more!
6202717
Like the good change or the bad
6205997 perspective.
What happens?
Was it a dream?
6226161
it was
Right assasin's creed.
6268370
His world he does whatever he wants. You dont like assassins creed?
Very nice cant wait for more, just dont make the foals changelings, that is where my mind jumpped to at least XD
Hm...
Just so you know...The fancier the fighting moves, the less practical they are.
Also...cannons...
Show them these...
6886647
Keep in mind this is korea. Techniques like this is common.
6886747
As badass these Russian artillery are, the ponies wouldn't be able to comprehend it let alone construct it. 16th century cannons is easier for them.
6887381 ...I'm not sure about that...They are actually less fancy in fighting than the chinese of the period. Edit: Oh, wait, It was the Japanese that are less fancy.
6887384 I suppose...I think I also forgot that these are the ponies of 1000 years before the show...So they might not be able to comprehend...
From what we've seen in the show, they seem to have advance enough science. That Party howiter of Cheese Sandwich shows that they have breach-loading cannon tech and probably tank tech.
Uhm......
It feels like there is a tactical mistake in there somewhere...Which lead to deaths that could've been avoided.
Also...The griffin really need to be put down and have their country collapsed. They don't get to have a civilization when they are not at all civilized.
6902654
First battle... shit happens
6902661 Still...common sense...They are really going to need it...You can be a freaking tactical geniues but without common sense, all your plans will fail eventually.
For the chapter.
6902670
I already have my thing for it..
6902686 What thing?
The music or the common sense?
The music is something I do in every stories.
The common sense is something that many seem to lack in the fantasy world...
6902748
Wouldn't be much of a story if there was common sense. Some people have to die. It sucks but it happens.
6903665 That may be. But, holding idiot balls is not really a good way to make a story good.
Kinda like nerfing a NAVY SEAL because they are too OP in the setting, which, in turn, make it feels like we are watching a civillian trying to play soldier...
You get what I meant...
6903672
Ok but the story wouldn't be as decent if the human lead a flawless victory and destroyed an enemy fleet with no casualties. Gotta be unpredictable
6904523 I'm not saying flawless victory (but then again, even loses need be able to recover from and not flat out pwned and then suddenly recover because MAGIC-as in hand waving the problem away) but don't let any fails be because they are stupid.
6904523 Here This is an example of good war story...The guy is not even soldier to begin with, he is a war history nutz...
Not saying his story is the best but it is good.
And he follow a different canon entirely but you get the idea.
6904523 I also forgot...There is a fine line between being flawed and being incompetent.
6905699
Please explain...
6905708 Being incompetent is being unable to do anything right in anyway and or unable to do the job that they should be good at right. Heck, even if they usually do the job right and then when they suddenly start doing everything wrong in an illogical way can be seen as incompetence.
Being flawed is still being able to do the job right and even really great at it. It's just sometimes you make mistakes here and there but not too much that it is unrepairable because that usually mean the destruction of everything you have and love which lead to ending the story in such a way that leave people wanting to murder you. That or you do the job in a certain way that leave people both dislike you and respect you.
Being flawed also does not restrict to just 'sometimes fail at doing something'. It can be something to do with your personality, your idealology, your perspective, your beauty, your ...etc...
Well, that is my take on it. I'm not that good with words.
Many authors went from flawed to incompetence...always using the excuse that characters need flaws...Yes they need flaws, not incompetence. This happened a lot with the princesses, mane 6, some other important characters (depend on the story) and at times, with the protagonist(s).
And here is a music piece for today.
Uhm...What was they doing in that one month making the armor?
And weren't they fighting the griffon? How come the griffon managed to reach the refugee when there is an army between them and the griffon? What?
Cool! Now we can set up specialized armor for the ponies..
I guess that what we see on the show will be something hightech yet look like medieval with resources problem...
7244853
The location was pretty far... it would take more than month for the Equestrian army to reach the raided villages.
6887384 Actually, they have his pistol and rifle to pattern them off of; they are just miniaturized breech loading canons. The only difficulty is to make sufficient quantities of steel strong enough to take the blasts when firing.
But for their needs, you don't need canons that powerful when your targets are aerial troops coming at you. You need something that will shred them before they can reach your pegasi forces--like a combination of flak that will explode in their midst, nets to entangle as many as can be grabbed, and chain shot that slices them up.
7338839
Hence grapeshot ball rounds, those things fuck up the gryphons.
7339859 Yep. Good job there.
Although, to be honest, I was rather surprised at the lack of tactics put into the battle. As a sea battle, both side fought very well, and you did a good job of displaying that.
But both side are capable of flight (or at least a portion of the ponies are), and the technology to construct blimps and other aerial ships would certainly be within their capabilities--1000 years in the past or not, hot air balloons would be just as effective as helium filled (of course you could've used this opportunity to demonstrate how hydrogen would be a very bad idea
)
Uh...Wut?
I don't quite understand what is happening...
So some strange ponies move in, help them against assassins and now they want to track and kill those ponies?
WTF?