I'm So Sorry
Rarity hummed a gentle tune to herself as she sat upon her boutique’s front room couch, running her magic through fabrics and threads. With a last stroke of her needle, she held up her work for inspection and gave a satisfied nod.
The sound of the door creaking open alerted Rarity, prompting her to follow the sound. However, she did so with a smile, knowing it could be a potential customer walking in.
“Hi, Rarity.”
Rarity smiled for real. She knew that voice.
“Hello, Sweetie! How was school today?”
“Fine.”
Sweetie slumped her saddlebags off, dropping them on the floor near the door. Not bothering to look at her sister, she began trotting away, each hoofstep echoing through the room. Rarity cocked her head, already sensing the tension that had been brought in.
“Sweetie, are you alright? Is something the matter?”
“I’m fine.”
“You can tell me if something’s upsetting you.”
“I said I’m fine.”
Third time in a row something’s been fine. Pushing herself onto all fours, Rarity set a brisk pace after the young filly, reaching her before they touched the staircase that lead to their bedrooms. She set her hoof on Sweetie’s shoulder before putting on her designated ‘motherly’ voice.
“What happened in school today?”
“Nothing. What makes you think something happened?”
“Oh, nothing in particular. I just ask what happened every day, don’t I? Anything interesting happen?”
“No… Just another boring day.”
Rarity allowed herself a soft smile.
“I think I know that feeling. Haven’t you mentioned sometime that today was painting day at school? You were looking forward to that, weren’t you?”
“…Uh-huh.”
“And how did that go?”
Sweetie didn’t answer immediately. She continued staring ahead, shifting her gaze from the stairs to the floor to the window on occasions. Finally, she shrugged and sighed before trying to break away from her sister.
“It was fine.”
Rarity frowned, but she made sure not to let Sweetie see it. Watching her trudge up the stairs, Rarity only waited a second before following behind.
“Did you paint anything you like?”
“No—I mean yes. I painted.”
“Really? I’d love to see it.”
“It’s drying at school.”
“Well, then you’ll just have to describe it for me. What is it like?”
As they set hooves down on the top steps, Sweetie made pace for her room. Rarity just continued to follow the young filly.
“It’s… colorful. I mixed a lot.”
“Really? What is it of? Perhaps a landscape? Or maybe a portrait of the princess?”
“It’s nothing. I think Miss Cheerilee called it abstract.”
“That’s wonderful, Sweetie.”
“It’s alright.”
“Did you paint it all by yourself? Or did you have help from friends? I’m sure they…”
Rarity trailed off, her eyes catching the slight flinch her sister had at the words. Within moments, her confusion shifted into understanding. There it is.
The sisters entered into Sweetie’s room, but hesitated once stepping hoof inside. Sweetie glanced around left to right and right to left, eyes slightly widened, before returning to her dreary cloud. She hopped up onto her bed and settled down on her side, face half buried in her pillow. Sitting on the floor beside her, Rarity set her fore-hooves on the bedside.
She gave an experimental touch of her hoof, pushing a strand of Sweetie’s curly hair out of the filly’s face, and inwardly nodded when her sister didn’t try to push her away. Sweetie never made eye contact.
“Sweetie? Could you tell me more about your painting? How did that go?”
“…My friends painted their own stuff. We all painted our own stuff.”
“Is that right?”
“Mmhm. But we were doing it for fun. We could still help each other out.”
Rarity said nothing. Sweetie was the one talking.
“I did my painting. It was alright even though it wasn’t finished yet. One of the colts saw mine and looked at it for a minute.”
“Yes?”
“Mmhm. He… said it was alright. Said there was a spot I missed here or a color I could add here.”
“And what happened next?”
Silence.
Rarity remained quiet, still running her hoof through her sister’s mane. Although she never looked directly into her sister’s eyes, she could still see the glistening. Sweetie heaved a shuddering sigh.
“T-then… I got… mad at him.”
“…?”
“I-I told him I didn’t need his advice. I was doing just fine.
“Then he got mad at me a-and told me he was just trying to help. Then I-I…”
Rarity heard the sniffle, but it didn’t surprise. She’d been counting the minutes ‘till she heard it. She backed away an inch, drawing back her hoof to reach under her sister’s chin. Lifting it up, Rarity did nothing more than keep eye contact.
“You can let it out, dear.”
Sweetie remained wordless. Then she sniffled. Then she cried. Latching onto her big sister in a hug, she sobbed into her shoulder. Her stream of tears matted both of their manes, but neither cared.
“I-I yelled at him. And he yelled back. We yelled mean things at each other until Miss Cheerilee b-broke us up.”
Rarity’s hoof ran though Sweetie’s mane, rubbing the back of her neck.
“I feel so bad! Why did I do that, Rarity, why? I-I-I got so angry when he was just trying to help me. Why did I do that?”
“If I could tell you why, I would, trust me. But I don’t know why. I think only you can know for sure.”
She choked on her own breath, her sobbing only harsher.
“Rarity, what do I do, what do I do? I feel so bad!”
“You could apologize.”
Sweetie sighed.
“I did. After Miss Cheerilee told us to stop. I felt bad right then, and I really meant it when I said I’m sorry. B-but he…
“He apologized too. H-he tried to take some of the blame and say he probably acted rude about it. But no! I-It’s my fault! He wasn’t that rude! I just overacted, and I’m sorry.
“I don’t think he knows how sorry I am.”
Rarity took in a deep breath and let it out, trying not to let Sweetie notice. Her sister didn’t cling to her so tight anymore, just hanging around her neck.
“If you don’t think he knows, then why not make sure he knows? Do something meaningful?”
“I don’t even know him… Never spoke to him before. It’s probably not even a big deal to him. It’ll just look weird if I try to apologize again…”
She sighed.
“Rarity, why does this have to happen?”
“Sometimes we make mistakes, Sweetie.”
“But that’s just it. Why do we have to make mistakes? Especially these stupid, silly, petty ones. Ones that are so small we shouldn’t even have made them?”
“That’s… just the way we are, dear. It’s what makes us who we are.”
Sweetie broke away from her sister’s grasp, laying her head back onto the pillow. Her eyes stared at nothing in particular. “I think if everyone stopped making silly mistakes, we’d all be a bit happier.”
“…Sweetie?”
The filly rolled over, facing away from her sister.
Rarity pushed herself straight up as she set her hoof down on Sweetie’s shoulder.
“Sweetie? I want you to know something… I know you’re upset, and I know you wish you could make things right. But hear me out.
“Know that at the end of the day, when all is said and done, and all things have come to pass, everything… is going to be alright.”
“…”
“…If you need me, I’ll be downstairs knitting, alright? I love you, sister.”
“Love you too.”
Rarity turned tail and made hoofsteps for the door, but not before pausing as her sister spoke.
“Thanks, Rarity.”
“…You’re quite welcome.”
She left the room, careful to shut the door, and a smile on her lips.
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That was super sweet!
Cute little fic. Sequel?
It's a nice story. Not a lot happens, but that's like life, right?
I was expecting death I suppose. Even though I love Rarity and Sweetie Belle and wouldn't want them to die in a story.
Oh well, have my upvote.
D'awwwww
Awwh.
If she think it was fine why is she worrying?
or its just me who dont understand
you forgot the Y
Grammar nazi things aside.
i liked it.
good story
and keep on the good work
6100098 She says it's fine because she doesn't want to talk about it.
Thanks for reading.
Sweet and simple. It makes sense. Artistic temperaments can come with a certain sensitivity to criticism, and Sweetie seems to be on the path to being as artistic as her sister, albeit in another medium. Combine that with a private hope that maybe, just maybe, this could lead to a cutie mark, and it's no wonder Sweetie did what she did. A beautiful character moment with a reasonable cause and a good message. That said, I'm not sure about the title. Still, thank you for this.
Not what I expected from the title, but good nonetheless.
The title is misleading, but still nice story, also the title gave me an idea... I must think
6100146 6100211 6100306 Yeah, I had a feeling people would say that. But I liked it and wanted to use it.
That was cute
for some reason I thought Sweetie was gonna end her story of the days event with, "I think I died and now I'm a ghost."
not sure why I thought that though.
6100098 When a child says their "fine" what they mean is "I'm trying not to burst into tears/throw a tantrum/or both."
6100109 i know but isnt it Rarity's thinking
One more for the pile that thought the story nice but the title confusing.
My money was on a ghost-story with luck finally having caught up with the CMC, and Sweetie's spirit saying goodbye to Rarity.
So, yeah, quite a bit off mark, that guess.
Wow...somepony made a mistake but no one was gruesomely murdered as happens so often in pony fiction (I'll never understand why).
Sweetie has made a child's mistake because she is a child. And Rarity is right...at the end of the day everything is going to be all right.
Thank you for writing this sweet story!
Confused by the title? Yes. Enjoyed the read it presented? Thoroughly.
The way the story was going, I thought the title was a quote Sweetie Belle would be using near the expend to express how she's upset that her temper got the better of her. Like she realized she's not what she wants to believe she is, and her mental image on herself has been shaken, leaving her self interpretation dead.
But then again I tend to over think stuff.
Hrm. Good little story. Your dialogue is nice. Misleading title feels like it's there just to bait people in. Certainly no thumbs down, but no thumbs up either.
It felt like this story might have been alright, but it wasn't what I was expecting because of the title. It made me read the whole story wrong, and I ended it with a feeling of "what?". It's probably symbolic, but to be honest I kinda hate abstract symbolism like this. Thus, I give my honest opinion and a downvote.
6100742
6101391 As I've said earlier, this title was chosen because I liked it. It really doesn't mean much. It connects to the story at best as a metaphor, but there's not any substance to that either.
Honestly, it's just a title. I've seen stories by professional authors with even stranger ones.
Edit: I've added a disclaimer in the description. Better?
That wasn't what I was expecting at all!
It was better!
Pretty good, but I don't understand why the Sad tag is up there. This seems entirely Slice of Life.
i.imgur.com/UUCtLYu.jpg
That is all.
Good stuff, I enjoyed it.
Despite the fact that you say the title isn't a large part of the story, I absolutely adore the metaphorical connection it has (if I'm right in what I think it is). Either way very well written.
I'm glad so many people liked it. :) I found it alright, but it felt like there was something more that would happen after, like it was just a start of a story that didn't have any real arc to it.
But hey, it's well-liked, so what do I know?
That was a nice little slice of life. I love your sense of detail, you have a strong ability of showing without telling.
6101645
Seems better, yeah.
However, with a title like "I Think I Died Today" - just from the title, a reader gets all sorts of expectations. I am all for not judging a book by its cover, but the title implies things. First off, the statement is made from the first person. The one who died is speaking. And unsure. One could even take from it that it's figurative, that something horrible happened. However, the story itself is just a simple argument with an unnamed other student. It's not like a boy she'd been crushing on destroyed her heart. And if you want to go into the literal sense, perhaps one would think this is a story about one who is dead and does not know it. I was hearkened a bit back to a story I read about Rarity and Sweeite Belle that involved them being reborn over and over until a certain wish was made. In any case, the title, whether you intended it or not, contains such implications that it makes the imagination soar with expectation. A title like this is not something you can just slap on something and say "Oh and by the way, it's not related." - You could have named it "Tomato Salami Sandwich" and it would have at least not built a certain level of expectation.
I hope you take this all as constructive. I'd like to think you thought about this and knew the title would attract viewers. Not unlike the text that is put upon advertisements that peak the curiosity. "Doctors hate him! Learn why with this one simple health secret!" - The reader of such a blurb wants that secret. They want to know why Doctors hold this man in such contempt! But in the end, it is all hyperbole. Nothing but an empty promise for a story herein that could stand on its own merits.
And ironically, by using such a title, attracting such attention, and being put into the feature box, the eyes of the FimFiction world are upon you. I hope the fact that I, too, fell for such a title, built up such expectations from one brilliantly-crafted line of text, is appreciated and that you will remember it. In the future, if you can craft such an eye-catching title and use it on a story that it pertains to in a more meaningful manner, you will truly have hit gold.
In the end, though, you shared this touching story with me, and I am still grateful. it was a good read, and I did enjoy it. So while psychologically, I feel cheated, I can assure you that it wasn't all bad.
It's nice, simple, and probably a plight we've all been in, good story! Also I love how the title describes entirely how Sweetie Belle is feeling, way more interesting than just "A bad day for Sweetie Belle" or some straight title like that.
Good Job!
6101645 Thank you for doing that. Really the only reason I downvoted was because I was feeling somber wanted to read a story about death (or just sad things in general). Since I went in with that psyche I came out angry that the story failed to fulfill what I had come for. The story itself is nothing special (to me at least), but not deserving of a downvote minus the title. So I'm glad to see you've rectified that.
On an even sadder note than this story (no offense intended), I cannot un-downvote you, I can only change it to an upvote. I only give stories that overly impressed me an upvote, so I'm sorry to say that I cannot, in good conscience to my own rules, change that vote. So sorry about that, but let me instead give you the power of mustache to overcome your deep sorrow.
Aww, how cute
When I saw the title, this was the first thing thought of:
img2.wikia.nocookie.net/__cb20140624055911/tardis/images/6/6b/Tasha_Dalek_Puppet.jpg
This is a scene than an actual story. Sweetie already learned her lesson, and Rarity is basically there to say "life moves on." Something that Sweetie already realized, therefore Rarity is just a shoulder to cry on; making this just a scene.
Also, Rarity's dialogue just seemed off. I know she's trying to comfort Sweetie, but it just didn't feel like Rarity speaking.
Aside form that though, I still enjoyed this. Ironically though, I have no gripes about the title. Am I the only one who didn't take it literally?
Now that we've seen the metaphorical version, let's see the literal version!
I second all the "d'aaaaaaaaaawws" in the comment section!
Chapter 2 -
Also, I'm a ghost now.
I was wondering why I could see through you...
You're still going to school tomorrow.
...
Am I the only one that thought the problem was going to be Sweetie's friends not feeling the same way after Sweetie's painting revealed that she had a crush on them?
6102688 huh? Did I missing something?
6102830 Probably not. My mind goes places it really shouldn't sometimes, such as the gutter.
Very cute story.
Good story, but the title has absolutely nothing to do with the story.
6103572 The description said so itself. It's a metaphor, most likely.
Your title, description, and formatting all need a SERIOUS once-over.
That aside, this was more a scene than a story. I wonder if something happened to you, author, and this is your way of getting it off of your chest? If so, good for you for finding a creative outlet. If not, you've some lessons to learn on story structure, presentation and title-context.
That conflict was incredibly stupid....
....but SO REAL LIFE.
6102844 ah, I know what you mean. My own head has been there multiple times.
And over the next few weeks or so that colt is going to get more and more irritating, not mean,
just getting under her fur. When suddenly one day a dialog something like this occurs.
SB “WHY DO YOU BOTHER ME SO MUCH. You’re always around and when you're not in school I keep looking for you and and an........
Colt what ! All I did was tell you that your painting was good and that you're friends are cool and that I really like your mane.
SB I know, its just that you're so irritating and I don't know what to do about it and I really like you..................................................................?
Both …....................................?
Both Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!
As for me, I just died in your arms tonight.
It must have been something you said.
Was it Button?img00.deviantart.net/cbb1/i/2014/285/3/c/buttonbelle_boop_by_thephoebster-d82mgoz.png