Many hours later, as the sun slowly dipped behind the horizon, Jessie and James once again stood before their holographic screen. With Meowth and Celestia finally freed from their respective dares by the passage of time and working to clean the die off the alicorn’s fur, it was up to the two humans to report to Giovanni by themselves. They stood straight as ramrods, heels together and arms pinned to their sides.
“Good news, boss,” James said. “We’ve analyzed the data from the tracking beacons planted on thirty-seven members of Team Flare all throughout Lumiose City and discovered a pattern. It seems that an inordinate number of the fiery freaks spend a lot of time inside a certain establishment or else walking the next few blocks in circles around it.”
“Upload the data to our servers,” Giovanni commanded. “I want a second opinion before you commence stage two of this operation.” He stroked Persian, now sleeping comfortably on his lap. “Team Rocket cannot afford any further losses in Kalos. Not at such a critical juncture. If you fail it may be impossible to stop the proliferation of Dark Ball technology, and if the rumors are to be believed that is only the tip of the iceberg.”
“Right away sir!” James saluted, then turned away to his laptop. In a few keystrokes the lengthy process was begun, the small computer beaming heavily-encrypted data through several underground networks on the dark web to massive server banks in distant Kanto for further analysis.
Giovanni’s eyes turned to Jessie. “Have you discovered the nature of this establishment?”
“A café, sir,” she answered. “We looked up the address. It’s apparently known to be a popular hangout for Team Flare membership, something about it suiting their ‘burning hot spirits’ or something like that. But continuously running patrol patterns through the surrounding streets suggests something more.”
“A reasonable inference.”
“What’s more, sir, we discovered that the establishment goes by the name of Lysandre Café.”
“He actually named it after himself?” Giovanni raised an eyebrow. “I’m almost insulted.”
On his lap, Persian yawned.
“But not quite,” the boss shook his head. “Something that obvious smells like a trap to me. Bait for the unwary.”
“We had considered that, but until we proceed with the next phase we won’t know for sure. Unless you want us to begin the backup plan now?”
“The break-in at Lysandre Labs?” Giovanni considered for a moment, then shook his head. “No. Too much risk on too little chance at this stage. I doubt any criminal worth his thefts would hide sensitive data inside a legitimate front company. Considering the public reputation of the man and his company I have little doubt most if not all of its employees are entirely oblivious dupes. The man seems to enjoy a certain amount of theatrics, it is possible that this location does indeed serve as a hub for his little group.”
Giovanni stroked his pet, pondering. Jessie stood there in total silence, James joining her once the process of getting the information to Kanto was all but complete a few minutes later. Both simply stood at unflinching attention while their leader considered the situation, weighing the odds and attempting to predict the ramifications. Neither even thought of daring to offer an unsolicited comment, not when they were on such shaky ground after the last mission.
Eventually, another figure appeared on the camera. Giovanni’s secretary, Matori, appeared from the side of his desk, walked up beside him, bent down, and whispered something in his ear. The man’s expression didn’t change, he simply nodded. Matori returned the nod, then vanished back the way she came without a word to Jessie or James. Their boss closed his eyes, folded his hands, and then at last broke the oppressive silence.
“It seems our analysists agree with your conclusions.” Giovanni’s voice was quiet. “They believe the data you have gathered today indicates a deeper interest in that area than simple food and comfort. Under ordinary circumstances I would prefer a great reconnaissance, but thanks to your idiocy…” he frowned, the duo cringed “and the failure of the others time is a luxury I do not possess. And if there is one thing you fools do have a genuine talent for, it is resilience, Proceed to phase two immediately. Keep me informed of any developments as they occur. I want no mistakes, am I clear?”
“Sir yes sir!”
“Good.” Giovanni opened his eyes again. “If the remainder of this plan goes as smoothly as today, then I might forget about your Laverre debacle. Giovanni out.”
The screen vanished, and the projector went dark.
“Did you hear that?!” James clenched his fist. “The boss said if we do this right we’re in the clear!”
“Why think so small? When we show him how masterfully we can do this he’ll promote us for sure! Just imagine it, Jessie, James, and Meowth, Team Rocket Admins!”
“I see it!” James clasped his hands. “When we trump these chumps and leave them stumped we’ll be rich!”
“Famous in Team Rocket, feared in all the underworld beyond!” Jessie gushed. “We’ll have our own private all you can eat buffet on our own private yacht!”
“We’ll have vacation homes from Cinabar Island to Alolan beachfront!”
Jessie and James reached out and high-fived one another before beginning to prance in a circle, their two hands grasped together.
“We’ll have mountains of cash!”
“We’ll be movie stars!”
“Book deals and autograph signing!”
“Red carpets and paparazzi!”
“Guaranteed invites to the most exclusive parties!”
“We’ll make Cassidy and Bill throw us a party!”
The two threw their heads back and laughed like maniacs.
“An’ I’ll finally throw dat Persian off da boss’ lap!” came a new voice as Meowth threw open the door the warehouse room the team had made their temporary base. “Den I’ll be da top cat of Team Rocket!”
Acting on some hidden instinct, the three spontaneously joined hands in a circle before beginning a cheerful kick-dance.
“We’re gonna get promoted!” Jessie, James, and Meowth sang as they spun around the floor. “We’re gonna get promoted! We’re gonna get promoted! We’re gonna get promoted! We’re gonna get promoted! We’re gonna get promoted!”
The once again white alicorn princess walked in the door after Meowth, took one look at scene, then blinked.
“Um… did I miss something?”
“Oh come on!” Pikachu screamed into the night sky. “You guys have been stalking me for years! Day after day, week after week, year after year! Since that first day in Viridian City, don’t you remember? Ever since the day I met you I’ve been constantly kidnapped, shoved in cages, dropped into pit traps, dangled from your stupid balloon, and Arceus knows what else!”
Twilight, from her position in the forest, watched the little yellow Pokemon hopping up and down atop the rock with increasing concern. She didn’t really like the guy that had unjustly assaulted the princess that much, but all his frustration had come about from an attempt to redeem his mistake. She couldn’t overlook that.
“How many times have you tried to steal me now? I’ve lost count after the first few hundred! You’ve disguised yourselves, jumped me in my sleep, tricked my friends, attacked during my battles, and just plain tried to jump me at every possible occasion! Not a week goes by without one of your inane schemes! I know that just like I know the sun rises and the sky is blue! But now, now that I actually want to see you three idiots you’re nowhere to be found! I’ve been ‘sleeping’ on this rock all day! It gets really hot on a shade-less rock in midafternoon, you know? I’m pretty sure I’ve got sunburn all over my back. But I thought it’d be worth it, if only you lunatics would just act conveniently for once in your lives! But nooooo…”
“This,” Twilight whispered, tugging on Ash’s sleeve as Pikachu ranted on, “isn’t working out.”
Ash’s expression too was one of increasing concern.
“I’ll make you regret this, you hear me?!” Pikachu went on. “I know you must be out there somewhere, watching! Stalking me like you always do! On a normal day I can’t so much as go down to stream to take a drink without half wondering if you people have somehow fit a giant Magikarp submarine into it! Yet I’ve been sitting out here all day just being vulnerable and you don’t do anything! When I see you again, I’ll get you! I’ll take that princess back and then… and then…” Pikachu breathed heavily through gritted teeth, wiggling his tiny fingers. “Oooooh you’re gonna get it…”
“You know what, guys?” Ash said. “I think it’s about time to hit the sack for the night, don’t you?”
That got a chorus of agreement from the tired, hungry, stiff gang. Ash smiled, nodded, and rose out of the bush he had been crouched carefully in. Avoiding the concealed pit traps with a little tiptoeing, he walked over to the rock where Pikachu was giggling with sparks on his bright red cheeks.
“Blast off? You haven’t seen blast off yet. I’ll give such a Thunderbolt you’ll be flying straight back to Kanto! And while you’re there you can tell your stupid boss-”
Ash picked his best friend up. Pikachu didn’t seem to notice.
“-that he can take that horrible cat of his and shove it down the nearest sewer line, you hear me?” Pikachu continued even as the group began the long trek back to the Pokemon Center for some food and rest. “You’d better be listening, Team Rocket! Pikachu is coming for you!”
And Pikachu loses it.
I guess thousands of failed kidnapping attempts got to Pikachu's sanity. Ash, your best friend is loco in the coco.
8331815
8331815
Yeah, Pikachu's beginning to believe that he's been dealing with Team Rocket for years and years! Sure maybe two, but really, how long could they have actually been putting up with their shenanigans?
...*Checks the date* Oh hey! Been twenty years since I first got my squirtle up to a blastoise! WOO! Time to celebrate with some cake and ice cream!
Seems madness is contagious.
Foud a couple mistakes.
With Meowth and Celestia finally freed from their respective dares
that is only the tip of the iceberg.
Suddenly I imagine the team rocket signing "Pikachu have anger problems" again and again.
TR is gonna get promoted! And Celestia is gonna get lots of cake!
Pikachu, you don't go to Team Rocket, Team Rocket goes to you.
Don't worry, Pikachu. it's not paranoia if they really are out to get you. I'm sure they'll be along aaaaaany minute now.
...Any minute.
Poor Pikachu being reduced to ranting and raving
Easy there Pikachu, else I might start to think you've secretly come to enjoy your surprise get togethers with Team Rocket.
I think Pikachu and Twilight share an adorable overreaction to things going off track.
Pikachu buddy...chill chilllllllll. You aren't the center of their universe you know, come on man have some dignity...
Poor Pikachu.
At least Ash has the right idea about heading into town for some food, maybe theyll even bump into Lysandra while theyre there.
Its a useful method. If you cant find something in the first minute, give up looking and eventually it will get so fed up waiting, it will ambush you.
8331985
You have to assume Pikachu lives in a high stress environment, especially considering he's traveling around with Ash and random idiots of the season. Being able to blast off the Rocket Trio? That's just his stress relief for the week.
There gonna get promoted Yah.
Hoping a Gyarados comes along and Hyper Beams Pikachu in his midget face.
8332075
Hey! Something for them to bond over!
Pikachus rant made me laugh out loud!
8332089
I assume you've never watched the anime before, because yes, yes he is. Their lives revolve around constant their kidnapping attempts. They're both obsessive and way too dumb to know when to quit.
8332203
Well it's been proven beyond any doubt he doesn't have to worry about doing permanent damage to them with his attacks, and it's guilt-free because they constantly go out of their way to bring it on themselves, so...
8332926
Actually I watched the anime when it first came out. Twas a comment made in jest, though to be honest there have been episodes of the trio not bothering with Pikachu because they have something better to do.
The story deserves a second thumps up just for the rant. Sadly I can give only one.
8333881
Ah, but I can thumbs up the story AND your comment!
Poor Pikachu! They actually try to get Team Rocket to attack them, and that's the day they have something better to do!
By the way:
dye
Put a comma before "time".
I suggest hyphenating "once again white".
and working to clean the die off the alicorn’s fur
1. Dye.
The Pikachu rant gets infintely better if you imagine it in a Danny Devito voice.
'resilience'
Ah I just get cracked up too much
9015046
I'd even take Ryan Reynolds on this one, considering he does Detective Pikachu.
I honestly never liked the shows version of Ash or Pikachu so I'm actually enjoying their frustration.
If Ash's age is anything to go by...only one year. X3