Chapter 41
Maeve came to the slow, plodding conclusion that she wasn’t on a human world. Oh sure, there were humans here, and she could spot them, they looked human, more or less, the sort of humans she was used to… but… there was also the massive man that was almost as tall as Princess Luna and had strange, mottled, almost pebble-like greyish skin. He looked as though he was made of rocks. He was lumpy and misshapen and something about him wasn’t very human at all.
Another woman had green grass growing where her hair should have been and her skin looked like pale brown bark. Seeing her caused Maeve to look down at her own living wooden hand and check out her own bark skin. The woman, thin and graceful, was beautiful in a strange way. Maeve was enchanted by her appearance, and because of this, she had some inkling, some understanding of the attraction that Luna and Twilight shared with one another.
For whatever strange reason, the crowds gave Blueblood, her protector a wide berth. He moved beside her as she tried to navigate the crowd, her panic growing stronger by the minute, and he encouraged people to get out of the way. Maeve’s pale freckled skin was now smeared with greasy soot.
In the street, a whip cracked and a horse whinnied with pain, causing both Twilight and Luna to turn and look. A sneering scowl of anger was on Luna’s face, and on Twilight’s face was an expression of pain. This was not a kind place to horses nor people.
After a short journey and one perilous crossing of the street, the companions came to the door of a shop and Maeve knew that this was the place they wanted to be. What they came to find was here. She turned and looked at Blueblood as her hand reached out for the knob of the door. She saw him nod. Taking a deep breath, Maeve pushed open the door and hoped for the best.
Upon entering the store, Maeve paused. The store was filled with all manner of curious items and there was a man behind the counter that sort of looked like a goblin. He had a long nose, oversized ears, and a severe underbite with upwards pointing buck teeth that pressed into his upper lip. He was wearing a somewhat battered looking suit, a top hat, and he was greasy looking. Maeve was flooded with revulsion just looking at him. He reminded her of Nilzebog for some reason. Maeve didn’t like Nilzebog. There was a reason she had killed him.
As Maeve stood in the doorway, the man stared at her and her companions. After a moment, he scowled and shook his head, causing his jowls to wobble. He let out a raspy gasp of what sounded like anger.
“Mister Groglegarch, we have unwelcome visitors. Please show them out.”
Turning her head, Maeve saw an actual giant approach. He was even taller than Princess Luna and bulkier than Blueblood. He had dark green mottled skin and a broad, flat nose. His lips were oversized, blubbery, and were curled back into a hideous grin filled with corn yellow teeth. With every step that Mister Groglegarch took, the whole of the store rattled.
Maeve felt like screaming, her panic was approaching the breaking point and she didn’t know what to do. She was sick of being passive. She was sick of having bad things happening to her. She was sick of being scared of everything. She decided right then and there that it was time to take a stand for herself. There was a silken sounding hiss as Lann na Gealaí Dubh was pulled from its scabbard. She held the sword in her left hand and her wand appeared in her right hand almost as if by magic.
Her left arm changed, as did her fist. Long barbed thorns sprouted all along her arm, dripping some kind of terrible greenish sap. Wicked looking spines sprouted from her knuckles. Her arm became like a rosebriar straight out of the nightmares of some slumbering eldritch entity. There was a creak of wood as her fingers redoubled her grip on her sword.
The man behind the counter, seeing Maeve, pulled out a long, thin, delicate looking wand tipped in copper. He pointed it in Maeve’s general direction and scowled. Mister Groglegarch paused in place for a moment.
“Ah, an elf of the white. You’ll fetch a good price to the right buyer. Perhaps our guests are more welcome than I thought, Mister Groglegarch. See that she is subdued if she tries to cause a problem.”
With a cry, the massive, hulking brute charged forwards…
Recovering, Princess Luna brushed herself off. The front of the store was in ruins. The big green bruiser had engaged Blueblood in a fight and Blueblood had shown himself capable. The two had wrecked the front of the store, collapsing the wall, and the battle was now out here on the street. The crowd screamed and fled as the two burly brawlers hammered away at one another.
Twilight Sparkle and Maeve were still inside the store, which worried Luna a bit. Scowling, looking more annoyed than anything else, Princess Luna reached out one toaster sized hand, wrapped it around a twelve foot long wrought iron lamp post, and with a swift jerk, she snapped the lamp post, breaking it near the base. She hefted it in one hand, testing it for balance, and then held it in two hands.
Princess Luna smiled, a disturbing smile filled with gleeful mayhem. It wasn’t often that she was able to cut loose without her pesky sister around, shouting at her to behave like a princess. The twelve foot long length of wrought iron had a good heft to it. Luna darted forwards, swung the long length of iron up over her right shoulder, and then swung it like a club right at the head of Mister Groglegarch, coming at him from behind.
“HUZZAH!” Luna cried.
Blueblood ducked and got out of the way just as the lamp post connected with Mister Groglegarch. There was a ringing sound like a bell and the iron lamp post, swung with terrific force, bent and folded to a ninety degree angle around Mister Groglegarch’s head. Luna froze after the impact, a curious pouty pucker upon her lips, as her makeshift weapon had not had the effect she had hoped for.
Mister Groglegarch did not look pleased with the recent developments. Opening his mouth, he roared with fury and gave himself a shake. Luna let go of the now bent wrought iron lamp post and realised that she was going to need something bigger, something better if she hoped to subdue Mister Groglegarch.
Twilight Sparkle seemed oblivious to the flying spell that passed a few inches away from her head. Her eyes were narrowed and a scowl of concentration was upon her face as she studied Maeve’s wand. The wand was held just in front of Twilight’s nose. Twilight’s lips were moving, but no words could be heard.
After a moment of concentration, Twilight pointed the wand at the counter where their attacker had ducked down to take cover. A blast of magenta light flew from the tip of the wand and an enormous chunk of the counter exploded into splinters.
“Damn you! That was mahogany! Do you know how much that will cost to replace!” an angry voice shouted. “You insufferable trollop!”
As Twilight powered up another spell, Maeve turned around to check out the crashing sound behind her. She saw Blueblood grappling with the big green skinned giant in the wreckage that had been the front wall of the store. Biting her lip, Maeve wondered what to do. Gripping her sword with both hands, she made a decision.
Shrieking with redheaded fury, she launched herself out from behind the ruined shelf she was hiding behind and made a clumsy chop at Mister Groglegarch. Her downwards chop missed, so she reversed her stroke and made an even clumsier upwards chop. The blade bit deep and a second later, a large green six fingered hand flopped down to the floor.
The green man bellowed and the severed limb turned to wood on the floor, strange, weird looking distorted wood that looked sickly. A new hand began growing from the stump that spurted green goo.
Blueblood took this opportunity to punch his opponent in the face a few times, but his punches didn’t do much to hurt the big green behemoth. Maeve made another swipe with her sword as Mister Groglegarch tried to retreat. She caught him a glancing blow and took off more of his arm, this time right below his elbow.
Princess Luna, armed with a massive cast iron skillet she had picked up from the wreckage out in the street, gave Mister Groglegarch a solid blow the head, a two handed thump to the skull with all of her strength thrown into it, which was considerable.
The cast iron skillet bent, deforming around Mister Groglegarch’s skull just as the wrought iron lamp post had. The big green bruiser let out an angry shout and Luna let go of the skillet as an explosive blast caused a shelf near her to burst into flames. There was a cry from Twilight as she returned fire with Maeve’s wand.
Luna, realising that swift action was needed before the magic users destroyed everything around them, including the creatures they had been sent here to rescue, snatched a large vase in her hand, held it, and waited, her eyes on the ruined remains of the mahogany counter.
When she saw a head pop up for a second to lob off a spell, she hurled her vase, just as Maeve was taking another whack at Mister Groglegarch. The green behemoth toppled to the floor as Maeve lopped off his right leg with a frenzied hack with her sword. The man behind the counter let out a pained cry as he slumped to the floor and ceased to move after the large, heavy vase had smashed him in the face, crushing his nose.
Mister Groglegarch’s missing bits were growing back with alarming speed and Maeve kept stabbing and slicing at the big fellow, refusing to allow Blueblood to be hurt. Twilight let out a crow of triumph as she charged the counter to check up on her fallen foe. Princess Luna turned to face Mister Groglegarch and she looked thoughtful as she considered her regenerating foe.
Just as things appeared to be going in the companions favour, five men appeared in bright flashes of light, bursting into existence with explosive pops. Twilight let out a cry, Blueblood bellowed, Luna turned and raised her eyebrow at the five men, and Maeve stabbed Mister Groglegarch in the crotch, wondering if that would grow back.
“NOBODY MOVE! WE ARE THE MINISTRY OF MAGIC AND THIS IS A BUST!”
“Sorceress Maeve, stand down,” Princess Luna commanded in a pleading voice.
Waving her sword around, Maeve let out a feral growl, her teeth were bared, and she eyed the five men pointing wands at her. Twilight took a step forwards, a soft smile upon her face, and she cleared her throat.
“There is a good explanation for all of this,” Twilight said as she moved in front of Maeve. “We came to recover some gnomes—”
“Who are you?” one of the men asked as he stepped forwards. He lowered his wand and made a gesture to his companions. “If you lie, things will go badly for you.”
“I am Princess Luna of Equestria.” Luna drew herself up to her full height as she spoke. “I am not human.” She pointed at Twilight with her hand. “That is Princess Twilight Sparkle.” Her finger moved in Blueblood’s direction. “And that is Prince Blueblood.”
One of the men, the one that had subdued the big green behemoth, pointed at Maeve. “And her?” he asked before Luna could say anything.
“She is Sorceress Maeve,” Luna replied.
“I see.” The level headed man’s wand vanished up his sleeve and he gave a worried glance to the figure bound in magic on the floor. “One illegal troll. Mister Plumb’s Emporium of Oddities is going to have to have a going out of business sale I think.”
“What do we do, Grime?” another man asked. “Regulations frown on arresting royalty from other places.”
“We could arrest the sorceress,” another suggested.
“No you cannot.” Luna’s hands clenched into fists. “Our laws, our traditions, because of some complications, we did not have the means to recognise a human as one of our princesses. She was given the title of ‘Sorceress’ instead.”
“She’s not human… she’s elven, a light elf by the looks of her hand. One of the last.” The man who spoke looked a bit depressed and he made a gesture at Maeve, who had lowered her sword. “There is no way I am arresting and processing that. I’m not contributing to the decline of the universe.”
“We learned about her elven heritage after the fact. When she came to us, she appeared human.” Luna’s eyes narrowed and she relaxed a bit as she began to study the five men, wondering what sorts of beings they were, and hoping they were reasonable beings.
Grime, who appeared to be the leader, folded his arms over his chest. “Look, we just need to ask you a few questions about what is going on, maybe learn a little bit about you, and we’ll help you any way we can if you can cooperate with us. If there are gnomes here as you claim, we’ll give them to her, but only her.” Grime gave a nod towards Maeve. “Out of the lot of you, she is the only one entitled to have them, as stated by our own laws.”
“We’ll be happy to cooperate,” Luna said in a warm, kind voice. Much to Luna’s relief, Maeve slipped her sword back into its sheath.
“The poor girl looks frazzled, Grime… look at her… make no mistake, as big as she is, she’s still a girl… look at the eyes, she’s haunted.” One of the men took a step closer to Maeve. “My name is Jargander Tartan.” The man bowed a bit. “I’ve met your kind before. Not many left. Miss, would you like a cup of tea or something soothing?”
Maeve took a step backwards and retreated behind Blueblood. She stared at the man who had spoken to her with wide, terrified eyes. Her dress was stained with green blood and soot. Her face was smeared with green ichor and grease.
Jargander smiled. “If I may, I am very, very happy that you put that vorpal sword away. Looks like you carved some pieces off of that troll. That’s impressive.” The man, slight of build, grinned at Maeve.
Maeve’s scowl softened a bit at Jargander’s words.
“Well, this is pleasant… I hadn’t come here with the expectation to make friends.” Twilight gave the men a warm, inviting smile. “My name is Twilight Sparkle, and I am the Princess of Friendship where I come from.” Remembering her time in another world full of humans, she extended her right hand towards the man named Grime.
After a second, Grime took her hand and shook it.
“I’m hoping that we can be friends and work together.” Twilight’s smile widened. “We’re real sorry about the mess, but we were attacked after we entered. This isn’t how we wanted this to end. We came here prepared for trouble, but honestly, I was hoping that we could talk our way out of this situation. We did not come here seeking violence.”
Grime nodded, knowing that Twilight wasn’t lying.
“Right now, Sorceress Maeve is wearing a crown that makes her a little cranky. You’ll have to forgive her. Magical influences… heh!” Twilight let out a nervous laugh as she pulled her hand away.
“Okay, Jargander, let’s get this mess cleaned up and sorted out.” Grime took a step towards Princess Luna and looked up at her. “You appear to be in charge. As of right now, you are our official appointed diplomat to this Equestria place. Do you accept?”
Princess Luna inhaled, nodded, and replied, “I do.”
“Good.” Grime glanced over to where Mister Plumb lay unmoving on the floor. “Let’s get this sorted out. Haskil, Hobart, search the store and find those gnomes. Zennik, secure the store to keep out onlookers and thieves. Jargander and I will take our new friends back to the station. I’ll have reinforcements sent.”
Reaching out, Luna pulled Maeve closer, worried how Maeve would deal with all of this stress. Much to Luna’s relief, Maeve did not resist, but instead, threw her arms around Luna’s waist and hugged her.
“Let’s get a move on, Jargander, we have visiting royalty to look after,” Grime said.
“And one of the ljásálfar,” Jargander replied, sounding excited. “We’re going to get promoted for this.” The overly cheerful man snapped his fingers and let go a smile that showed all of his teeth. “I’ve been working for my offworlder badge for a long, long time now.”
“Jagander, just do your job.” Grime gave Luna an apologetic smile. “You’ll have to forgive him. He suffers from excessive cheerfulness due to the love of his job.”
Luna smiled. “So I’ve noticed.”
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This was fun.
Yay! unleashed chaos from Luna. Discord would be proud.
Vorpal Sword...that explains SO MUCH !
Well that was a sudden and awesome fight.
Blueblood needs either a better way to punch, or some sort of weapon if he's going to be doing that with tough things.
And... is this the first time Maeve has heard of Blueblood as "Prince Blueblood"? I was under the impression it was officially under wraps.
Also, they totally are in fantasyland.
They ended up in Harry Potter...I swear you need to add a crossover tag...
6983313
There were ministries of magic long before Harry Potter.
6982788
Vorpal Knuckle Dusters.
6984162
He'll be knocking blocks off all day with those!
6982788
He was lucky to get clothing when he jumped dimensions.
There is something you need to understand. Blueblood got into a fist fight with a troll. A fist fight. And Blueblood held his own. He didn't die from being punched. I mean, think about the troll taking a wrought iron lamp post to the head. Now, imagine something like that punching you. KERPOW.
6984251
Oh no, he proved massive roughness and toughness with that fight.
However! If his punches still aren't enough then... well... he'll need something for that extra oomph.
... Didn't they all get clothes when they jumped dimensions? Except Maeve because she already had some? I am aware that the only weapon (the sword) was the only one they brought, so I don't expect special weapons to pop into existence or anything... but if I were all like "hey let me punch stuff with my fists! my fists aren't quite working" I'd work on fixing that, if I planned on getting into more fights.
6984257
Fire or vorpal weapons.
6982681
Any story involving a Vorpal Sword should have a *snicker-snack* sound effect whenever it's swung around.
Hehehe Friendship it's everywhere you want to be.
7011933
My Name is Mathias JC Sammy
My quest is to eventually find a quest.
My favorite color is Navy Blue
What time period?
Which Swallow? There are over fifty species of Swallow.
Suggesting that the herring wouldn't eventually degrade over time: Twenty two years and five months.
The answer to life, the universe and everything is: The Doctor.
The question to life, the universe and everything is: Doctor?!
Because: Honey Badgers
7011760 my research points to copper for horseshoe crab too???? They have hemocyanin right?
7012645 well, i watched a tv documentary when i was 8, so it could be faulty memory on my part
7033997 As Captain Obvious, it's my job to point out the obvious. If you have a problem, speak to my boss.
Oh yeah, 41 chapters is definitely enough for me to out input. I'll get to reading this.
7034637
That's why I put in the parentheses.
It's more important that people know WHAT is said rather than just HOW it's said.
7036718
Chapter 2
7036982
Bjarke means God of Bears.
7036738 OYE!!! My emails didn't notify me of this! Well that clears some stuff up, and here I was picturing a sword similar to Longfang, Icewolf, or Lion Blade. The Primarchs have very ornate and odd weopons.
And damn. I caught up... This achievement has only been fulfilling 3 times...
7037092 Are you smarter than a 5th grader?
Man... I really am missing this story. I miss the frequent updates.
7211599
There should be an update this weekend at some point.
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"Aaaaaa"
What is this I hear? A heavenly chorus? Naw, just RD about to shout "Aaaaaaww yeah!"