Chapter 3: Rarity Nags the Narrator
Rarity lay in her plush queen's bed, during the last few minutes of her twelve-hour beauty sleep. The morning sun beamed through the antique purple drapes and across her matching velvet comforter. She couldn't notice anyway with the sleep mask covering her eyes which came with her custom-made silk pajamas. A peculiar green mask made of a dubious paste covered her porcelain face, exfoliating it some way or another.
"Hmm? Who's there?" she awoke with a snort. "I say, is somepony speaking?"
Sorry, didn't mean to wake ya.
"Oh! It's you, Mr. Narrator!" she removed her sleep mask and sat up with delight. "Whatever brings you to my abode?"
Well, Twilight just wanted some alone time, so I figured now that I can reach other ponies, I might as well follow you for a day. That is, if you don't mind.
"Not at all!" she touched her face suddenly looking embarrassed. "Oh but I must look a fright right now! Just give me a moment, dear. I simply can't start the day without my beauty regiment."
Oh, uh, of course. But I'm sure you'd still look fine without it.
"Ooh aren't you a charmer!" Rarity fluttered her eyelashes as she climbed out of bed.
She donned two pairs of fluffy slippers and trotted daintily to her private bathroom. Once there, she prepared for a nice hot shower to wash away the mud mask and shake off the cobwebs of sleep.
"Ah ah ah," she wagged her hoof. "A lady needs her privacy."
Right, I guess it's not just Twilight.
One lengthy shower later...
After toweling herself off, Rarity stood at the bathroom mirror and brushed her glistening purple mane. She hummed merrily as she gave her mane a good one hundred brush strokes...on each side. Then, she fired up her curling iron and began styling her mane into its familiar elegant curly shape.
"Tell me, Narrator," she spoke. "Do you use any mane products?"
...I'm sorry?
"Well, I'm certain that a well-composed gentlecolt such as yourself takes pride in his appearance as well." She looked up knowingly. "I can just imagine your mane looking so neat and feathered."
Yeah, I don't really use any fancy products. Not that it would matter since you can't see me.
"Not all beauty is noticeable by sight, darling." She replied. "I would certainly recommend a jar of Brash Bronco mane gel. That's what Fancy Pants uses."
Uh sure, I'll keep an eye out for it. Satisfied with the springy shape of her mane, Rarity continued her beauty regiment with a few pats of powder to her cheeks, and a layer of foundation.
"You certainly pay attention to detail, Narrator." She said.
Yeah, how long are you going to be doing this?
"Never rush perfection, dear!"
After touching up her powder-white face, she then applied extensions to her eyelashes. A good five minutes had passed as she stroked her lashes with a tiny brush, adding to the already long morning routine. Of course, as the saying goes, "beauty is pain". Rarity took great care to not miss a single detail in her appearance, and her eye for detail only made- Oh for Celestia's sake, will you hurry up?!
"Done!" she closed her makeup kit and smiled upward. "Thank you for being so patient, darling. I'm quite flattered that you take such interest in my routine."
*sulks*
After the forty-five minutes spent in the bathroom, Rarity trotted downstairs to open up shop. But she stopped at the base of the staircase and cringed in repulsion. A pungent burning smell filled the boutique, emanating from the kitchen in the back. At first, she feared that one of her collections had caught fire. But she quickly realized what had happened.
"Oh not again!" she sighed with disdain.
Rarity entered the kitchen with a glower. Over by the stove, her little sister Sweetie Belle vigorously waved a cloth to fan a plume of smoke emitting from a frying pan. She spun around in surprise to see her older sister.
"Oh! Morning, Rarity!" the little filly smiled sheepishly. "I didn't know you were up yet."
"Sweetie Belle, what have I told you about making breakfast?" discerned Rarity.
"Wash your hooves first?" she guessed.
Rarity face-hoofed. "Yes, but also, don't do it!"
"But I'm getting better at it, Rarity, honest!" she held up a mug. "Look, I didn't burn the juice this time!"
"That's because it's frozen solid."
"It was supposed to be a smoothie." Sweetie Belle looked down with shame.
Rarity sighed and then smiled sympathetically. "Don't fret about it, Sweetie Belle. Perhaps you'll get it right eventually." She tried to be supportive, despite her bitter disappointment. "Excuse me, but I am being quite honest!" she glowered upward.
"Uh, Rarity, who are you talking to?" asked Sweetie.
Rarity gawked, realizing her blunder. "Oh, well, you know about Twilight's predicament with a narrator voice, don't you? Well, it seems that other ponies can hear this Narrator as well and now he's following me for the day."
"So...you have a magical voice following everything you do?"
"It would appear so." She grinned.
"What the heck?!" stomped Sweetie. "Why can't I have something like that?! Do you realized how useful a magic narrator might've been for helping me and my friends find our cutie marks?!"
"How would that help exactly?"
"I don't know, but it certainly would've beaten all that time of waiting!" she pouted.
"Oh hush, Sweetie Belle." Rarity turned her nose up. "There is no need to get jealous over my new handsome friend."
"I'm not jealous!" she argued. "And how do you know he's handsome? Do you know what he looks like? He could be some kind of creepy monster or some kind of hideous mind worm!"
Mind worm?! Why you little- No. No, Narrator. She's just a filly. Don't overreact.
"Really, Sweetie Belle," scorned Rarity. "How rude! Why don't you just run along and play while I clean the kitchen?"
"Fine!" the filly stormed off. "At least I have real friends who aren't just in my head."
"I said hush!" scolded Rarity as her sister went outside. "I'm terribly sorry about her, Narrator. She really needs to learn manners."
It's alright. I'm sure sisters are a hoofful. After cleaning the chaotic mess in the kitchen, scraping the burned remains of what was once food off the counter top, Rarity proceeded to open Carousel Boutique for the day. She proudly put out her mannequins for display, exhibiting her finest works of fashion. From flowing formal gowns, to sporty, skimpy summerwear, each piece brandished her own unique style.
"Ahem, excuse me, Narrator?" she asked.
Yes?
"Not to intrude on your monologue, but I was wondering if you could, if it's not too much to ask, sort of describe my pieces in greater detail, if you so please." She said, fluttering her eyelashes.
I'm doing the best I can.
"Oh but surely such a stallion of prose such as yourself can give me a poetic critique of my work."
What do you want me to say?
"How about this?" Rarity quickly pulled aside a mannequin wearing a short dress. "Go ahead. Elaborate on this masterpiece."
Um, she pointed to a green summer dress complete with white floral patterns spaghetti straps and a matching saddlebag.
"No, no, no," she shook her head. "Don't give me the obvious. Give me the underlying details. How does it speak to you? What kinds of thoughts and emotions stir within from looking at this dress?"
You're yanking my chain.
"Pwease?" Rarity fluttered her lashes and gave a puppy-dog expression.
*sigh* The dress radiated a whimsical essence that reflected the freedom and welcoming embrace of summer. The contour lines, sleek and serene, yet also yielding a flowing fantastical mystique, express the true diversity of the artist's creative vision. Such a dynamic piece is ideal for the mare looking for comfort and expression of bliss in the highest form.
"My word, Narrator," beamed Rarity. "I was right about you. You should write for the J. Ponyman Catalog. Now you're starting to sound like a real fashionista."
I'm not a fashionista I'm a narrator!!!
"Simmer down now, dear, we have a customer."
Just then, a bell rang as the front door opened, and in walked one of Rarity's regulars, Junebug.
"Ah, Junebug!" greeted Rarity. "How are you, darling?"
"Quite fine, Rarity." The gardener smiled. "I'm here for my noon pickup."
"Of course!" Rarity levitated another mannequin over from a back room. "I've just finished putting the final touches on it recently. So, what do you think?"
Junebug delighted at the sight of an elegant violet ball gown, with a slender shape and a lining of miniature gemstones on the bottom. "It's beautiful!" she beamed. "You really are an expert, Rarity. This will look great at the ceremony when I accept my Gardener of the Month award."
"And I am so proud of you, dear!" said Rarity.
Congratulations, Junebug.
"The Narrator sends his regards."
"Who?"
"Oh! How could I have forgotten!" gasped Rarity. "This beauty is still missing the waistband I was going to add. I didn't even choose a fitting color for it. How careless could I be?"
"Oh, it's no big deal, Rarity." Junebug shrugged. "It looks fine as it is."
"Nonsense, Junebug!" insisted Rarity. "My clients only deserve perfection. We'll have this dress complete in a jiffy. Especially now that I have an artistic mind to help."
Who me?
"What do you mean, Rarity?" asked Junebug.
"Well, I'm sure you've heard of Twilight's new narrator friend?"
"Uh, I think so?"
"You see, now he's able to narrate me as well, and he certainly has an eye for fashion I can tell you!"
I'm not sure, but I think I just saw Sweetie Belle and her friends walk by outside with power tools.
"Now let's give this dress a proper waistband!" Rarity levitated over two long sheets of fabric and held them in the air. "Oh Narrator! Which do you think would look better with the dress: lavender, or mauve?"
...They look exactly the same.
"Oh come now, Narrator, surely you can tell the difference."
Ugh, I don't know, what do you think?
"Well, I rather think the mauve is more subtle and conforming with the rest of the outfit. But the lavender just adds more flavor in color, and it's just divinely alluring."
Okay, so go with the lavender.
"Hmm, I don't know." She pondered. "Perhaps I can add some sparkle to the mauve to make it stand out more. But I feel that would draw the eye away from the leg lines."
Why did I pick to follow you first?
"Come on, Narrator, mauve or no mauve?" urged Rarity. "I can't keep my friend waiting."
Junebug began to back towards the door nervously. "Uh you know, Rarity, the award ceremony isn't for another three days. I can just come back tomorrow to pick up the dress. Uh, see you later!" she hurried out of the boutique, a bit unnerved.
"Hmm, I wonder what she's in a hurry for. What do you think, Narrator? Do you think the dress could also use a matching corsage? Or perhaps lavender stripes to counteract the mauve?...Narrator?...Are you there, darling?...Hello?......Oh you did NOT just up and leave me without saying so! You vile beast! How dare you toy with my affections! If you think you can impress me by playing hard-to-get, then you just might be right!...Ugh, why are the handsome ones always so rude?
I can think of a number of situations where this could become a problem. Looking forward to more.
Keep up the good work. Deus tecum.
And thus the Narrator began his downwards spiral into insanity after sharing narration with the Mane Six. Next, we have more and more disasters to follow... And I await them eagerly.
"then you just might be right!" At least she's honest.
Wow Rarity. Just, wow.
What else is new?
Predictions for other chapters:
Why don't ya get off yer behind and help us?
Aw yeah! Make me awesome!!! uh... I didn't do it.
um, is it alright if nothing happens like Discord wise?
OOH!!! Wanna have a party!? I've got cake!!!
Narrator is tired of Rarity antics.
Wonderful! Keep up the good work sir!
This is what happens when the fourth wall is broken but the story is still standing strong. It's also resulting in quite a lot of funny to happen, so you never know WHAT can happen.
I love it!
I now have a new perspective on writing.
Details are still a hassle.
Anyone else using the Stanley Parable voice for this?
Correct me if I'm wrong, but can't he somewhat control their actions as well as dictate them? I seem to recall him making Spike slap himself after an insult.
Damn, Sweetie was fucking savage with that comeback.
I loved how Rarity was trying to get along with the narrator but ends up irritating him instead.
Why did you have to leave so soon? We were just starting to get along....
But I do hope he gets along with Twilight's other friends, too.
Please don't pick me.... Please don't pick me....
Ooh! Pick me! Pick me! I would loooooooooooove to have a party with this narrator guy!
I can see it now, Rainbow Dash chapter - Getting Rainbow To Warm Up To You 101: Stroke Dat Ego.
Well, she is making progress.
Congratulations, you just were promoted!
And that ending! Poor narrator!
Great story!!
I can't wait to see who is next.
Too bad I can't click the like-button more than one time.
After reading this, I'm sure Deadpool would be proud.
Real One: I don't why but, I just waiting to see Fluttershy's day with Narrator, he would be just like "Oh, its Fluttershy, what possibly could go wrong?!" (Fucking Bubsy) Then, they end up In hell after Discord tries to break, the Fourth, the fifth, the sixth and whatever more walls there are just to see Narrator in person!
So, Rarity want to date a voice in her head?
Narrator: I'm a narrator!
Yeah, whatever.
So, you're pissing on my favorite mane 6, and for some reason I'm liking it
Hilerious! I loved these scenes.
That was super awkward for him, live and learn though.
Very nice.
Looking forward to more.
6571793 I can see Pinkie narrating back at the narrator...
I don't think they come in "pretty." Poor guy, just can't catch a break. No wonder he was narrating Twilight instead.
6571575 What's new is now they don't have that "crusading for cutie marks" excuse. Now they're going to be "helpful." God help whatever poor pony is struggling with some sort of carpentry cutie mark issues, because the CMC are about to show up with power tools.
So Rarity's teaching the Narrator how to put more detail in sentences. I'm not looking forward to whatever Pinkie Pie will do, though.
Is anyone else reading this in the Cinemasins voice?
6573703
No, I'm pretty sure that she was referring to this
Speaking of Khan, I can't decide if Picard or Kirk is best Narrator. Probably Patrick Stewart, though.
*slow claps*
Shenanigans happen, and Celestia finds herself back in Ponyville once again. She consoles the sobbing Narrator and escorts him to Canterlot with the promise of tea, cake, and embarrassing stories about Twilight's younger years.
6572124 The Little Big Planet narrator actually. Steven Fry is awesome.
wellllp imma remove this off my "read it later" stuff because its not being updated.
what could have made the author quit, death?
6740014 Actually it's my computer thats dead. I've been trying to get it fixed and also keep up with my finals. Hopefully the old girl will be fixed in a couple days and if so, I'll be sure to update soon. Sorry for the long wait.
6740121 oh... well thanks for replying ill keep watching this story hope u fix/get new comp
GIVE ME MOAR!!! I WANT MOAR!!!
6764087 Soon enough my friend! I am currently working on the next chapter.
CUTIE MARK CRUSADERS CONSTRUCTION WORKERS!
YAY!
6785761 RUN!
>>Sarachi
By the time you said that, I already rented a demolition crew so that it doesn't look so bad when they're done. Where are they getting the money to build the
houseapartment complexmansionskyscraperHuge, ginormous, too big for pinkie pie to eat all at once building?This is fun.
6785761 translation:
FUS RO DA
Lolwut.
Rarity... Sure is a... Challanging mare...
Narrative giving is quite the challange. Well done!