Breaking Habits

by Gosky3

A Less-Than Helping Hoof

Maybe spreading harmony and friendship would be harder than Discord had originally imagined. After all, this was essentially his first time doing anything in that department, so it would take a little bit of time to get used to it. Unfortunately, it appeared that none of the Elements felt like helping him. They probably still didn’t trust him. Well, he’d show them.

Even more unfortunately, it seemed that Ponyville was as harmonious as it could be: ponies were walking about casually and conversing; fillies and colts were enjoying whatever games they were playing; the sun was shining, the clouds were cloudy. It was picturesque. That wasn’t good enough for him, though. Perhaps they looked like they were happy, but in reality their relationships weren’t doing that great.

At last, his eyes locked on a cream-colored Earth pony with blue and pink hair walking down the street. She seemed in need of a good friend! He teleported to her side, which did nothing but cause her to shriek. “No need to worry. No chaos is coming from this draconequus any time soon,” Discord smiled. “I couldn’t help but notice how...friendless you are. Perhaps I could teach you the wonders of friendsh- ”

All at once, her fear dissipated and her eyes narrowed. “Hey! You made my house fly halfway across town last time I saw you. Are you gonna pay for that?”

Discord was caught off guard by her outburst. It was right in the middle of his friendship speech, as well. He shook it off and continued. “You look like you could use a good friend. I’d be happy to introduce you to the magic of - ”

“Do you have any idea how much it costs to have your house lifted halfway across town? You know how much damage takes place when your house is shaking around in the sky?”

Once again, he found his train of thought had been interrupted. “I...sincerely apologize for that.”

“Apologies don’t pay bills. Liste. You can make the clouds into cotton candy. Can’t you make some bits to repay me?”

This was not going as expected at all. Discord had never been intimidated by a pony before. But, suddenly, it felt as if all of his confidence had faded away somehow. He didn’t know what it was. It was like he had shrank, even though he towered over the mare. “Um...are you sure the power of friendship wouldn’t help?”

“Unfortunately, friends don't pay the mortgage.”

Finally, he decided to comply with a sigh. “I suppose I could, if that’s what you want.” He snapped his talon. Out of nowhere, some wilted plants nearby sprang up and became full of life again.

“...Thanks, but there’s only so much tulips can get a pony.”

Discord blushed slightly with embarrassment. That was supposed to be a pot of gold, not magic gardening. “Sorry. Payment coming up right about...now!” With a snap, it seemed as if the mare's mane had gone to the spa and back. It was sparkling clean, put in a bun, and somehow smelled faintly of sugar.

“Is this some kind of a joke?” she snapped.

“N-no, I'm just not used to this harmony magic. It's a long story,” Discord studied his claw, as if trying to see whatever problem it was, but ultimately found no solution.

She sighed. “If you don't want to pay me, it's fine. Thanks for the flowers and mane anyway.” And on that note, she trotted off, leaving the draconequus with a face redder than Big Macintosh’s.

Never in his life had Discord felt so weak and helpless. And he’d confronted Celestia and Luna, and been turned to stone twice. Something was going on, but he couldn’t quite put his talon on it. Still trying to get over his mortification, he pondered for a moment, looking for some kind of an answer, and thought back to when he actually tried the spell. He did recall some vague memory of a darkness. But before he could fairly think it over, he heard somepony in the distance: “Discord!”

Looking off in the same direction, he saw a worried Fluttershy flying over to him. Quickly, he snapped away behind a house, just in time to see her whizz by in confusion. Now was not the time to talk this over again, he thought. This was his time to prove to them what he was capable, without chaotic temptations dragging him down. And if avoiding her and the others was necessary to do so, so be it.

Turning back around, Discord realized that he was now next to Sugarcube Corner. Knowing that not even Pinkie could have made it back here that fast (arguably), he found it safe and hastily entered. Immediately upon entry he saw that a gray pegasus was anxiously waiting at the counter. This was a perfect opportunity to help somepony else, and do it right this time!

He teleported on the opposite side of the counter. “Hello! Could I help you?”

The mare was startled for a moment but soon recovered and smiled. “Oh, hi! Do you...um...work here?”

“I do now,” he exclaimed, giving a wide toothy grin.

She seemed almost unsure for a moment of whether she should trust him, before ultimately accepting. “Um...okay then. I wanted to order a dozen muffins.”

“Say no more!” In actuality, he wasn’t quite sure if his powers would work this time round, but if he couldn’t even make muffins, then he was absolutely useless.

Surely enough, Discord proudly snapped up a dozen, out-the-oven-hot muffins without any complications. The pegasus licked her lips in anticipation of her treats, putting several bits on the counter in exchange. The box of crumby deliciousness was lifted right up to her face, before it was pulled away from her grasp. “Wait a moment... ” As if in deep thought, Discord looked at the slight imperfections and contrasts between each one. They were different shapes, sizes, each with bumps and dimples and crumbs that made them anything but harmonious. “No, no, no, this just won’t do.” The mare had to watch in shock as her muffins were removed from existence in a single snap.

“B-but they were fine! Those were perfect!”

“Ha! Those were anything but perfect. I can do better than that.”

The mare pouted, but still waited patiently for a new batch. Snap! Another delicious, amazing dozen muffins were created. They had to be the absolute best that she had seen in a long time. She was flabbergasted watching the steam slowly rise from her breaded treats, and once again put her hoof out to grab one. Yet once again, the muffins disappeared. “Stop doing that!” she pouted.

“Just hold on!”

Over and over again this happened, with Discord making a seemingly immaculate batch, her expressing great glee, and the batch being destroyed right before her eyes. Eventually the pegasus was too emotionally wasted to care anymore, and even Discord himself was getting tired of this. “I just can’t get them right using magic...we’re going to have to make them from scratch.”

“We?”

Discord wrapped his arm around her. “Well, me, but you get to watch.” One snap later, and the two had aprons and were in the kitchen of the establishment. All of the ingredients necessary had magically appeared on the counter and they - well, Discord - got to work.

It was an annoying and tiresome experience (for the poor pony at least). Everything was done to absolute perfection. A single molecule out of place was simply unacceptable for the draconequus. Not an ounce of flour was poured out of place. Not a drop of water was spilled. The batter was stirred exactly two minutes, no more, no less. The whole process took way longer than it should have, simply due to measuring and making sure everything fell into place. It was probably the most perfect and orderly that you could possibly get, yet all the mare really wanted was to taste the stupid muffins.

After precisely forty-five minutes of stirring and pouring and baking, the muffins were finally ready. Discord pulled them out with pride and satisfaction and placed the steamy goodies on the counter. “There. That’s as perfect as physically possible! By the atom!” The first thing that the pegasus noticed was how...odd they looked. Their tops were perfectly round, like a sphere. They were all the same shape, size, color, and texture. Even the crumbs seemed to line up perfectly. Nonetheless, they were muffins.

“So, we can eat them now?” she smiled in hope.

Discord let out the longest, heartiest laugh he could muster. “Celestia, no! Don’t be such a ditz!”

“Ditzy.”

“Gesundheit.”

Ignoring him, she looked back at the muffins. “...So...we’re not going to eat them?”

“What, you’re serious?" All at once, he seemed to get defensive over his design, and he wrapped around them like a mother dragon protecting her young. "No, no, no. These are beyond the very definition of harmony. We won’t eat them. Just...admire them.”

“Admire them?”

Discord seemed to not even notice her, as he simply stared, lost in his...muffin-y, perfect creations.

“Not eat them?”

No response.

“I’m...just gonna go.”

The mare flew out of the kitchen and out of the building confused, slightly scared, generally freaked out, and still very hungry.

After Celestia-knows-how-long of admiring his creation, an idea finally came to Discord’s mind. Obviously, interacting with ponies head-on wasn’t his greatest domain. But making things and objects better and more harmonious than they actually were seemed to be an angle he could take this on from. Numerous ideas came to him all at once that made him nearly squeal with glee simply thinking about them. Not moments later, he’d snapped out of the bakery to go and fulfill them.

Author's Note:

It's amazing how much chaos can be caused trying to inspire harmony - oh, well. Lots of general craziness here, but much fun was had!

---

*checks calendar* Oh...it's been a while. Sadly I haven't been that busy and it's been more of a mix of writer's block, apprehension, and pure laziness. It took until now to really get back into the swing of things, so sorry for that. But I'll be darned if I'm not finishing this thing this summer. It won't be that long now, and now I have a better idea of what the heck is going on.

Comments

[Spiritofchaos227]

Discord's far too caught up in bring harmony to the people around him to see that he is the most chaotic thing in town!... Let's hope it stays that way.

I'm still loving this story, despite not having much to say. Keep up the good work!

[Gosky3]

6164408 I still appreciate your support, thanks! And don't worry, plenty more unintentional chaos is to come!

[CloverStarshine]

Discord just went into Accord mode XD. I mean, Discord being chaotic is what makes you fun!!! Also dang he is like way WAY to harmonious and filled with order now