It's been a week now. A week since I became a pony. A week since I made my first friend in this world. A week since I made my first enemy in this world. A week since I was almost sent into a pool of pure magic, not knowing what would happen after that. Yeah, my life is weird.
Hello. My name is Alexander. Or rather, it was. Due to circumstances beyond my control I have found myself as a Pinkie Pie clone. Trying to fit in I took on the name Diane, still getting used to being of the opposite sex... Anyways, since I came to this world I've had a rough time. I'm a clone, a magical construct, not a real pony. That's how everypony else sees me, or at least most did at first. The nicer and more accepting ponies have warmed up to me over time as I have now been around for a week and have yet to do anything to give anypony any reason to dislike me. Well, maybe not... I might have taken Pinkie Pie hostage only a few hours after my arrival here, but it was in self defense, I swear! Besides, she's forgiven me.
Speaking about forgiving ponies, I can't. I have a pony I can't forgive or trust as she was this close to send me to my doom. And the only thing stopping her is a Pinkie Promise. One made thanks to the quick thinking of Pinkie Pie. She most likely saved my life by stopping that purple demon. After a week however, she seems to have accepted me, but I'm still not taking any chances. Even if I know she actually is a very sweet mare. That is, if this world really follows the timeline I know of.
Back to the important part. Appearance wise I am indistinguishable from Pinkie Pie in all but my mane and tail. I have colored them to have three other colors beside the basic pink, a streak of light blue, orange and yellow. The others don't know it yet, but my mane and tail look just like Pinkie's when she uses her rainbow powers. The ones that she will eventually obtain and use together with the others to beat Tirek. It's a secret between me and myself for now.
I currently work together with Pinkie Pie at Sugar Cube Corner. I don't get paid as Cakes wouldn't be able to afford paying twice Pinkie's paycheck, but I'm fine with a roof over head and a few warm meals a day. I refrain from eating any of the sweets I bake. Pinkie however eats them anytime she deems it to be a good time for taste testing the product, meaning every time a new batch is made we have one less of the baked goods. I myself would much rather sell them so that I can actually pull my own weight so to speak. About room arrangements I'm sleeping in the same room as Pinkie Pie. It is an interesting... what do you call it... experience. I don't know how Gummy manages to sleep through her loud bursts of dream speaking but he does. I find it hard to ignore what she says when she sleep talks, you can find out quite a lot of interesting bits. I didn't know that she knew neighponiese for example. Yes, that's what it's called here.
Earth. The planet I came from. I can hardly call it home anymore, seeing as I now live in Ponyville and am better set than I was back there. Now I'm here and stuff seems to work out for me. Not that I could return anyway. My closest bet wou-
"No you silly, that's not how you pull a hat out of a bunny!" Pinkie suddenly exclaims in her sleep, interrupting my train of thought. Bless her and her antics. I smile to myself as I think of how bright my future seems right now. I guess that's to be expected from Equestria. But I've been having thoughts about the show. If things really do play out like how they were in the show, what should I do? Should I hang around as one of the background ponies, or should I help them with the situations? I could most likely prevent the return of Tirek and many other dangers and problems could be solved. But then they wouldn't learn anything, would they? I shook my head as I once again decided against thinking about it. I'll cross that bridge when I get to it.
Now, I was currently awake for two reasons. One: I was being kept up by Pinkie's sleep talk. Two: I was getting worried about the next episode. I had yet to see any signs of the episode called "One bad apple." It was both worrying and interesting at the same time. I mean, I for sure didn't know how much time usually passed between episodes, and now I was able to experience such a thing firsthoof!
Deciding to find out if Pinkie had marked something special for this day I took a look at her calendar. Ignoring the words "Party!" filling every single day, for the whole year, I searched the calendar for days with additional pieces of writing. I quickly found one during next week labeled "Summer Harvest Parade". So that meant there was a gap of almost two weeks between those two episodes? I'd guess so... I have to wait another week until then.
But while I was looking through the different days in the calendar I eventually noticed something that had been added in rather recently. And on an already passed date as well. As I took a better look at it I felt tears spring up in the corners of my eyes and a smile form on my face. It was a day, about a week ago marked "Diane's Birthday". I looked back at Pinkie and wiped my tears. She really was the best friend a pony could have. I hoped such a relationship between us could last forever. But as I thought about it I came to realize something. I didn't know about her or her friend's birthdays!
I quickly looked through the calendar once more and committed to remember all the birthday dates I could to memory. If I was going to be friends or at least with good terms with everypony in this town, I could at least wish them a happy birthday. But no matter how hard I looked, I could not find the date for Pinkie's own birthday. And I knew for a fact that she had one from an episode where her friends plan a surprise party just for her. It would be-
"That's it!" I almost exclaimed out loud but managed to catch myself as I remembered I wasn't alone in the room. Close by were both a sleeping Pinkie Pie and a young alligator named Gummy. If Pinkie's friends knew the date of her Birthday, then I could just ask them! Now with a plan of how to find out about Pinkie's Birthday, I decided I would try and ask Pinkie's friends tomorrow.
During my little exploration of the calendar Pinkie had seemed to settle down, possibly into a deeper slumber where her dreams didn't leak out of her mouth. I trotted over to her bed and picked up the cover that had fallen off from her moving around in her sleep. As I settled it on top of her I could swear I saw her smile widen a little. I then went back to my own bed that we had gotten for me only a few days earlier and went to try and sleep myself now that Pinkie was finally calm enough to let me sleep. And as I began falling asleep my thoughts returned to the fact that I had used my mouth to both pick up and settle Pinkie's cover and how weird it was that I was already this comfortable in using my mouth as often as I once had my hands. I shrugged it off as part of the additional instincts I recently started discovering and fell asleep. Falling into my dreams that were full of sugar, cupcakes and frosting. Lots and lots of frosting.
I would have to get that checked.
The Everfree forest; A forest known for its chaotic nature with unpredictable weather, dangerous beasts and many still unsolved mysteries that are hidden within. Only the brave, foolish or truly cunning choose to enter this forest. And among these few, even less would dare to live in the forest. A place home for monsters and beasts. But for this one that is not the case, as Zecora is merely a zebra. A zebra that is both cunning and brave enough to keep the forest at bay and live safely within her own clearing. Zebras, for those of you who don't know, are fairly rare to be found in Equestria. But no matter how cunning, how brave or how foolish she was for staying in the Everfree. She would soon be having a lot more to consider.
A pony, wearing a black coat was walking between the trees of the Everfree. This pony however was neither cunning, nor brave and neither was it foolish. And yet, any beast or monster the pony encountered retreated as they felt the aura of this pony. This pony's coat was stained and smeared in dried blood was something that only added to the feeling of dread the pony invoked into any onlooker.
Eventually the pony stopped at what any other pony would call a normal rock. But this pony knew far better than any other common pony that this one rock held a secret. Walking around the rock the pony seemed to be looking for something. It traced it hooves along the sides of the boulder and muttered something to itself. After a long time the pony finally stopped at a certain point and put a hoof on a crack barely visible without having to squint. The hoof of said pony was a nice pink color.
As the pony seemed to have found its intended target on the rock, it pulled back the hood to reveal its face. Before the rook stood Pinkie Pie, clad in a black coat, stained in dried blood just like her coat and with a wide smile on her face. Around her neck hung a black amulet with a red gem, complete with a unicorn's head and a pair of wings. She was wearing the Alicorn amulet.
The pink mare continued to grin her wicked grin until she finally spoke. "Soon my family. Soon. We will be free and we will see to it that these ponies learn their lesson!" the mare said as she turned around and bucked the previously found crack with both her hind legs. The effects were immediate as the rock crumbled and fell into the hole it had been blocking; the entrance to 'the mirror pool'. Her smile widened at the sight, looking as if it was going to split her head in half.
"Seems this mare's knowledge about rocks came in handy after all," the mare said out loud. Slightly chuckling to herself, the pony experimentally took a step forward. Immediately she screamed as a purple barrier appeared and started eating away at her hoof. Quickly retracting her hoof she inspected it with tearful eyes as it slowly reformed back to its previous shape.
"Damn, I thought definitely the Alicorn amulet would do it. I mean, it did it before!" The mare complained to herself as the pain in her hoof subsided and it reformed completely.
"But it seems I'll have to find another way... I swear, as soon as I'm able to get down there, as soon as we're all back... Let us say that there will be two specific shades of pink less in this world!" The mare said before bursting out laughing to herself. It was not a nice kind of laugh that would spur others to laugh as well. It was a dark evil laugh that would force others to flee in fear of their own safety.
The pink pony took a moment to think to herself. There were a number of methods to quickly increase her own power to repel a ward such as this, but most of them only applied to unicorns, something she wasn't at this moment.
"Well, guess I'm going for the blood draining one this time. They scream less from that one." The mare thought out loud to herself, once again grinning as she began to walk away from the entrance. Once again donning the hood back on, the mare became concealed by shadows and disappeared from sight. Her mad laugh echoing between the trees of the Everfree forest.
Equestria was in for a surprise, one it hadn't faced in far too long and had since long forgotten. The real threat of the Mirror Pool was back. And it was back for revenge.
Yes.
I'm just going to let you decide what that means .
In all seriousness though, I think you did good here.
Even though this chapter is just set-up, I feel you set it up right.
Also that science joke made me laugh way more than it should have.
MORE!!!!
Aw yeah! Sequel time!
I like dis.
yes it has already lived up to the expectations and I want more
Heck yeah! Worth the wait. Like
6082305
said, since this was just setting up the next chapter, it wasn't quite as satisfying as the first chapter/story, but still, I have to say, it's awesome seeing an update on this. Absolutely can't wait to see where this is going!
YAYYAYYAYYAAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYYA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1 ITS OUT!!!!!
Intriguing
I like to see where you go with this one and how will Alexander/Diane pie be important in this story as I suspect one-way or other the plot is going to center around him/her.
~Leonzilla
I'm just glad I saw it at random in the new story section. You have a nice start, but is it far too soon to decide how well your living up to expectations. Turning a oneshot into a story is ALWAYS a crapshoot, but I have faith in you!
So the Mirror Pool makes copies that turn into blood-thirsty psychopaths...
*sighs and pulls out an Illudium Q-32 Explosive space Modulator* I go through so many of these things around here. And planets. I go through a lot of those too.
sounds to me like the mirror pool was a prison or at least somethings home that was turned into a prison
So... evil demon pinkie, we. Are. Screwed.
AJ who escentially works out for hours a day can make trees wobble, Pinkie who eats suger and fat every half hour minimum is capable of blasting a boulder into nothing. Earth pony magic, how does it work?
Awesome start! I cannot wait to read more! I have to wonder, have Luna and Celestia met Diane yet? I could imagine Diane having nightmares in which Twilight successfully sent her back to the pool, and Luna banishing the nightmare(s) and comforting Diane.
6083641 Yeah, just take a look at Maude...
6083641 Pinkie Pie, born and raised on a Rock Farm. Probably learned a thing or two from Maud.
6083716 That was what I was coming from. Besides, if you find a weakness in a mineral's structure you can easily shatter it. Just like the clone did. It found the weak spot on the rock and there you have it.
Hey what the hell man I didn't know you even wrote a sequel until I randomly came across it looking for story's write a blog at least that it's out bro. I hate to think how many sequels I've missed because of something like that
6083190
I thought it was Illudium Pu-36, not Q-32.
Gore? Wth, dude.
6083986 Believe me, the tag will be justified...
6083994 This was not intended as encouragement!
6084160 One of your story's characters blew a dragon to pieces, and then ate the pieces. You're in no position to criticize gore tags.
For now i admit.
i FREAKING like it
I did like the original story, but this, I am honestly disappointed by. You skipped over all the parts that would have been interesting to read, like "Diane" settling into his new situation and dealing with Twilight after she lied to him so she could, effectively speaking, kill him. Instead, you fast forwarded past anything that would have made this unique and, so far, seem to be looking to turn this into yet another boring and tired "let's redo the show, but with future knowledge" fic, as if there weren't already enough of those, just with added bonus grimdark on top. Sorry, but I really can't say that's pulling me in all that much.
6084384 That is fine. I can understand your disappointment when you expected and hoped for something else. And the fact that the mentioning of the different episodes doesn't actually hold that much weight. The story will be focusing on Diane and what effect she has on her surrounding. Many of the episodes might be hinted at that they're going on, but mostly this will be Diane's story.
Also, the reason I have jumped somewhat is mainly because of the last scene in the first chapter, I really wanted to introduce the plot like this. The missing week will be revisited with the help of some nifty flashbacks from time to time. Hopefully that is good enough for you, otherwise I would just have to say that you won't be getting what you wished for from this story.
6084393
That's an improvement over where I thought you were going with this, I'll say that much. Sorry if that was a bit too harsh, but that first chapter really didn't give the best first impression to me, especially in how little the direction of it seemed to have to do with the original one-shot. I was really looking forward to the character conflict between Diane and Twilight.
Please sir, can i have some more?
i.ytimg.com/vi/AUMm_5OFv_M/maxresdefault.jpg
6084422 Of course... In due time.
Looking forward for more but it is too soon to give an absolute jugdement. I also hope to see how Diane solves her issues with Twilight. And to learn what happened in this certain week.
This is one of the few human in Equestria stories I was willing to try to read. I usually avoid them like the plague, but I'm glad I checked this one out it's not bad.
So, "Mena" is a mirror pool clone? Also, besides the barrier, I would have filled the cave with rocks and concrete...
6084938 Well, I was kind of referring to the scene where they seal the opening with one big rock. Going of what I know about the characters, I thought they only additional protection they would apply would be the barrier. Nothing else was shown in the show and I really don't think they would have filled the passage up like that. I can't say why, but I believe it would have been out of character for them.
YAY!!! Sequel! I love this! Who da man!?
...
...
...
I'm never saying that again...
6085105
But wouldn't out main character have suggested it?
6085254 Let's just say Diane doesn't feel comfortable being with Twilight in the Everfree, even if Pinkie was there.
I have to admit, this wasn't what I expected.
It's definitely well written, don't get me wrong, but so many of the changes feel unnecessary. Instead of a rather unique premise of someone in the body of a clone trying to become adjusted to their new life and finding acceptance among the locals, with the new person also having knowledge of future events and trying to decide what to do with that knowledge (if he tells them the knowledge, they'll obviously want to know how he knows, and that would involve talking about the show), we instead get typical villain #1,000,000. I think my biggest problem is that it doesn't feel like there was any reason to change the way the mirror pool works. Everything else about Equestria in this story seems close to canon, so to suddenly make such a large change just feels out of place. Not only that, but not only are the clones changed, but they also become evil. For some reason.
I'll probably keep reading just because I like the writing quality (seriously, really good job with that! ) and the premise is something that really interests me, but I'm worried that this evil clone and weird mirror pool business will mess up some of my enjoyment.
6085410 I can see where you're coming from. But consider this. In the actual episode, the clones are portrayed as very dumb, but the first clone was much more "alive". This opens up to the possibility that the other clones chose to act the way they did. And if that is the case, it shows that they were at least able to plan ahead to some degree. Now, they fooled us all, but why?
That is the whole idea, in this story I try to explain the why. So in this story there are 3 differences that make all the difference.
1. Alexander. His appearance as one of the clones changes part of what happens.
2. The clones are evil. This is something that would have gone completely un noticed as the clones were to fail in their quest. But Alexanders appearance changed the outcome. (So this only half counts.)
3. Even after the incident there is yet another clone on the loose. Another thing changed by Alexanders appearance on the scene. This clone apparently found an opening to escape during the chaos brought by the clones attacking Alexander. (Something else brought fourth by him showing up.)
So in this story there is simply only one thing we can certainly say has changed the story. Alexander. There is only one single change to the baseline world. One small change with a lot of effect.
That was the main idea behind the story. I want to change certain events because of one single element I have implemented, I want to use the lack of certain data to open up new possibilities we could earlier only speculate on in the show. Anything uncertain can very well be used by me in this story, because there is no way to say it's against canon if canon never brings it up. The clones could very much have been evil and followed the plan I gave them, but as their plan failed, their fail-safe of not getting discovered still worked. (They would not have revealed themselves during normal circumstances, but they could not let an uncertainty like Alexander roam free if he was to not get sent back, so they attacked instead.)
I've given this story a lot of thought and want to avoid destroying the baseline of the show as much as possible without relating it to Alexanders appearance.
6085410
I agree. We could have gone without a bad guy for several chapters. and save the evil clone for the finale.
Loved the last one, so I'm totally gonna read this.
6083753 Depends on which short you're watching... the OLD OLD OLD version was Q-32.
Since I am ancient I know only the original.
I have been far too busy to pay attention to these modern iterations!
The sand grains on the beach won't count themselves! *a waves washes over him and moves all the sand around* DAMMIT!!! Now I have to start all over again! This is the 500th time today! 1, 2, 2, 3, *another wave* DAMMIT!!
I was worried for a moment; I thought "Mena" had killed Maude.
So whose blood is that?
YAS, Lucky has been waiting for this
One of the rare occasions I start reading an unfinished story with less than 5k words.
So far so good! LET'S DO THIS.
I'd catagorize this under chapter 2
6087000 Well, there are two obvious suspects... But telling you wouldn't be any fun. Now, would it?
6088372 I am unfortunately not a fan of the "Lord of the rings." series. I do not see how this is relevant.
But the music was somewhat cool anyway.
I'd be kinda mad at Twilight too...