My Demise

by That Pony Writer

Fluttershy's Instinct

Instinct. That's really the only word I can use to explain it. I know I can never be as loyal as Rainbow Dash, or as self sacrificing as Rarity. I know that. I really do.

Yet when the time calls, I can. Not by my own choice, but just by acting on simple instinct. I've always noticed it, pushed it away into the back of my mind. But since their deaths, it's grown closer. Called to me.

I tried to understand how Rainbow Dash and Rarity were so willing to give up their lives. Were they acting on instinct too? I kinda doubted it. My own instinct still mystified me.

I am kindness. That was made clear enough to me. But I don't think that has anything to do with it. I just want to save everyone. That's this instinct of mine.

At the same time I'm battling the emotions inside me. That seem to be growing worse by the day. Most of it is simply accepting the fact that out of the four of us left, I was dead set on thinking I was going to be the next one to die.

I hated the thought. It was scourge of my life. Except it was finally time. Time to get out of my shell.

Everyone told me to. But the pressure only brought out the anger inside of me I was scared to show. I wanted it to remain locked away. So I hid myself. In time discovering the kindness inside of me that turned into a sort of haven I refused to leave.

So in a way, following this instinct allowed some of myself to roam free. And I appreciated it. But the cost of this freedom is my very own life. Is it wrong that I've started to accept this as well?

It's a little too late to ask that question. I have to accept it now. I am dying. The most I can do is try to think up a proper goodbye, one that even Rainbow Dash would be proud of. Though I don't think I could ever top hers.

“Fluttershy! Fluttershy, talk to us!” Twilight was always so loud. She still sometimes frightens me. Mostly because I was scared I would retaliate with the same anger. Even now I have a hard time controlling those feelings inside me.

“S-Sorry...” My own voice is more quiet than usual. Part of me hoped it would be strong, for the final words I would be forced to say. But I guess that's just a bit too much to ask for.

“Don't apologize!” Twilight snapped back, her steady voice already growing shaky.

I gave her a weak smile, even though tears streamed from my eyes. Even though this would be the last time I would see their faces.

Pinkie Pie dashed in and out of my vision, making it hard to fully focus on her. “No... No... Fluttershy, not you too! Please, stop leaving me!”

Did Rainbow Dash and Rarity feel this guilty as well? Out of all of us, Pinkie Pie was taking it the hardest. She'd lock herself in her room and cry for days, barely sleeping or eating anything. It didn't take long for the entire town to pick up on her sorrow.

Her element of laughter was slowly crumbling apart. I hated myself for breaking away another piece.

“I'm s-sorry... Please... Don't hate me.” It was definitely becoming harder to breath. It felt like any second my lungs would cave. I didn't like this pain. It sent more tears to my eyes.

“Don't cry, Sugar-cube.” Applejack whispered, not directly looking at me. “We don't hate you.”

Her outline was definitely becoming blurrier. My eyesight was becoming weaker, and I was tempted just to shut myself in darkness. But I didn't want to miss one final look at the sun.

“I'm glad.” Every time I thought about last words, my mind just went blank. I didn't want to copy Rainbow Dash's or Rarity's. But I just couldn't come up with my own. I should have thought about it beforehand.

“We'll get you to a hospital.” Twilight was freaking out. I could easily pick out the lie in her voice. She didn't believe that. She knew as well as I did, that I just couldn't be saved. Still, she had to try. To her it was instinct. Just like it was to me.

“I... I'm sorry.” I knew I had to say it now. Whatever words I could manage. I didn't have much time left. It was strange how clear that was.

I took a deep breath. It hurt, but I still tried. Then I managed to look at them, each in the eye, for probably the first time. “I'm sorry. I have to say goodbye... but I just can't.” The world around me swayed, drowning in my tears.

“It's okay...” Applejack whispered beside me, giving me an almost understanding look.

That gave me the strength I needed.

“Look after Angel for me... And all the other animals... Make sure they're fed... And cared for.” I waited as my friends nodded. “Thank you. I'm happy that we got to be friends. You always cheered me on, got me to do better than my best. And for that I can't thank you enough. Without you I'd have failed long ago. Thank you... For being there for me... And for being my friends.”

I almost chocked on the last word. But somehow I got it all out. Then I just let myself go. I knew it would be better just not to think about it. Just follow my instincts. My instincts that lead me to this fate.

My eyes no longer worked. My lungs and my heart following suit. I knew I had died, and I couldn't do anything about it. It shows how truly helpless I am.

If anyone cares to know, my name is Fluttershy. I lock my true self away, because I'm scared. I rely on my instinct to save those I love. I don't want to die. But it's too late to say so.

I am kindness before anyone.

Author's Note:

Falcon,
Sorry for the delay. Anyway, I just want to add that the next chapter is by far the most tragic of all the pieces. Prepare to feel.

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[Summer Dancer]