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cod: paradise in Equestria

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Comments ( 6 )

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L00PMAN

L00PMAN #1 · Apr 2nd, 2015 · · ·

Alright, A review by me

The story line was very corny, but that is not exactly bad but for this story it was.

Grammar, HORRIBLE I dont know if you are from another country or something, (if you were I would TOTALLY understand the lack of English grammar) Names are not capitalized the main character of the story's name is not even spelled right. Periods out of place and it looks like you pressed the enter button after every sentence which kind of broke the flow for me.

Over all this story needs improvement, ALOT of improvement. But I want to come back someday and see this story in a state of prime. Rating as of currently 4/10

stgwoods

stgwoods #2 · Apr 2nd, 2015 · · ·

5812338

Well like I said, this isn't my best, and if I am, it would take me a few tries to get a single chapter. And yes I'm from Isreal, so my grammar will be a bit crapy, so don't chew me out because of that.

ChangelingLumin

ChangelingLumin #3 · Apr 2nd, 2015 · 1 · ·

5812538 No one cares if this is your first fic, you posted this out in the public, and it will be judged by the public.

EDIT: I just finished reading the story. You sir need an editor. There are a few groups dedicated to helping new authors like yourself. Why not search for a few of them by browsing the groups section of the site.

L00PMAN

L00PMAN #4 · Apr 2nd, 2015 · · ·

5812538 I am not the best when it comes to grammar myself so I did not decide to chew you out too much about that. But still in Isreal I would guess that you capitalize your letters. But that is just a thought I have no clue about that though

stgwoods