The concept is rather interesting, and I like where you're going with it. Reading it with a friend, we felt the writing was very good, minimal error, and the concept was one we have yet to experience. So going great in those respects ^^
But we did feel a little tutoured during this first story. It's nice that the character has explained so much of the world, but it makes it a bit more difficult to the character to be believable when they possess such expansive knowledge of the goings on before and after the war.
Just our opinion of course. We suggest perhaps bringing the character back later on maybe cross paths with the others, developing on her. It would make the reader further connected with it, therefore grabbing them better, and making her believable ^^
The concept is rather interesting, and I like where you're going with it.
Reading it with a friend, we felt the writing was very good, minimal error, and the concept was one we have yet to experience. So going great in those respects ^^
But we did feel a little tutoured during this first story. It's nice that the character has explained so much of the world, but it makes it a bit more difficult to the character to be believable when they possess such expansive knowledge of the goings on before and after the war.
Just our opinion of course. We suggest perhaps bringing the character back later on maybe cross paths with the others, developing on her. It would make the reader further connected with it, therefore grabbing them better, and making her believable ^^