Really, it's been three years since I first published this story with barely a grasp on actual literature and just my imagination to guide me into making more chapters. Honestly, I half expected this work of fiction to lose interest pretty quick.
But instead, it kept attracting new readers, and new compliments, and new criticisms.
And now that I look upon my old chapters and how I've structured them:
It's A Mess.
I've made so many mistakes in character and plot development that eventually I threw myself off and couldn't proceed with the actual story I had in mind. The fact that I also inserted too many characters for me to actively keep track of also put another nail into my literary coffin.
Thanks to your comments, criticisms, and suggestions I've basically come up with a few core problems that I need to rectify:
1. What do these characters look like? (I don't describe the appearance of certain characters well)
2. Why do (most of) Mane Six Five have kids?
3. Aren't you going a little too fast/slow?
And of course the most important problem of all:
4. Where the Buck is Twilight?
(I didn't even get to the part where Twilight was supposed to make her big entrance)
I've had enough of procrastinating and I really don't want to let this story die. So one of two things is going to happen:
1. I cancel this version of The Twilight Citadel and create a brand-new version with an absolutely massive overhaul to the plot, progression, and character count. It'll still contain remnants of the "old" version, but it will basically be a new story with the same concept of Twilight's banishment transforming her into the ruler of her own nation. (Though I'll need to confirm whether the changes I'm making will allow me to create a new submission within the rules of this site of course)
2. The second option would be for me to establish the changes to this version of the story and just do what I can to fix the previous chapters to allow a better understanding of the characters and remove some elements from my previous writings that I deem superfluous. I'll be honest, I think my writing was pretty messy a few years back.
Lastly, I want to thank all of you who first read this story a few years back who are still paying attention just waiting for the moment I update this little fic, it's awesome to know how dedicated some of you readers are.
So please, if you're still interested in this story please give me some feedback on how you think I should improve this story or give me a heads-up on what you think I'm missing from the "core problems list". Anyway, big changes should be coming, and I'll do my best to bring them to you all.
as far as I can tell the story looks good. no changes needed.
Its really good in my opinion and I just would love to see this story going forward, no matter how you dicide
Garbage.
good to know this is still in development. whatever your decision moving forward, i'll be along for the ride...
9038756
same here.
7333200
Definitely should cancel it and do a complete overhaul as a new story
Are you going to delete this story and then do a restart?
whatever get me some updates, preferably an overhaul
I think the plot was progressing at a decent pace, but you're right in that the reason why the main 5 have children. Perhaps that could be explained later though? The chapters so far haven't really left room to explain that in a way that it fits. I feel like putting it in now would just be out of place. Perhaps later when they meet twilight they could have a moment where they talk about their kids and where they came from. Other than that I thought this was p well done and I don't think it needs much of an overhaul.
I say you start from the beginning with a a new story but keep this one just for referance seake.
I say cancel it and start over. It will be easier for you in the long run.
I’m still hoping, soon as yo remake this story, Twilight won’t immediately forgive the Mane Five.
Try to do your changes to the first two or three chapters and see what happens.
If there are just minor adjustments continue, otherwise I recommend an reboot.
Publishing an new story might attract even new readers who didn't read your old story.
So, from what I can gather I recommend making a new one, if the number of changes justify it.
(And consider looking for an cover-art. Far too many potential readers are only looking for that while deciding wether or not they give an story a try.)
Saw the update not an update chapter. I wasn't concerned with twilight appearance. She is mentioned. And we know where she is... What concerns ME is Luna's where abouts
I really don't want to see this story die. But if you feel that's the best to make a better story of this, I support you.
It's really good (I just rediscovered it) I hope you continue it, however redo the first few chapters and see how it goes from there.
Changes? Wheres Twilight you say, arnt they about to meet her at the capital.
Well, I can’t wait for these changes.
Really good hope you continue it
A dead story. A shame.