The Poisoned Barb's Tale

by ManlyDerp

~In Another Time, In Another Place~ (Makaht uv Zecora)

Standing before the precipice of the rest of her life, a young mare found herself... frozen.

A fueled ship, a paid sea captain, a loaded pair of saddlebags; these were the tools she needed to begin her quest for magic.

These were the tools she had long since acquired…

...

… But a beloved hometown, a lifetime’s worth of friendships, a secure and stable existence… these were the sacrifices that fueled her dream.

These were the luxuries she couldn't afford to keep.

"..."

Upon a rickety pier under the cover of night, faced with a decision unlike any other; Zecora remained despondently conflicted.

“Lady, move along,” a sea stallion commanded tactlessly from aboard his ship; the SS Antonia Graza. Uncaring for the destiny-changing decision that plagued his sole patron of the eve, he continued on just as bluntly. “If ya drag yar hooves any longer we’re gonna miss the tailwind towards Equestria... Hmph... The waters will be far too dangerous to navigate beyond that point.”

“A-apologies for the delay, my good bloke,” Zecora stammered, returning her troubled mind to the present. “Deliberation was needed, lest I choke.”

"Bah," the older zebra of the pair grumbled in reply. "What’s there to even think about, lassy? Ya paid up for the trip, ya got saddlebags all nice and packed… Looks to me like yer ready to go."

"And go I will, that is not up for discuss; b-but this isn't something that can be so easily rushed."

"... Oh sweet Abraxas she's rhyming on purpose. Thought it was a fluke… Yar not getting yer bits back if ya get cold hooves, girly,” the sea captain snarled at the younger mare. “This ain’t a pleasure cruise! I’m risking mah neck here sailing across the ocean blue in a fishing vessel, the least ya can do is see this through to the end! No refunds!”

“...”

… Zecora grew quiet thanks to this.

The bits were of no issue to her, for she did not need them to be happy... but she knew that gaining the sea captain’s ire would likely prove troublesome in the long run.

Not many were brave enough to sail across the ocean in the current year, and the ones that were rarely made a business of it. Since the Kingdom of Farasi had cut ties with Equestria during the Moon Scarring Incident of many generations past, opportunities for one to cross over into its plentiful lands had become practically nonexistent. Whether through legality or social stigma, it simply wasn't proper for one to cross the sea without at least a royal blessing; a blessing that hadn't been bestowed in over half a century.

It was for this reason that Zecora knew that angering one of the few willing to make the (highly illegal) journey would undoubtedly nix any further attempts she made in the foreseeable future, if not forever…

… yet her mind remained plagued with doubts.

The village in the distance, Zebrat, had been the young mare’s home her whole life, while magic had been her dream for what felt like longer. Equestria certainly contained everything she needed to further hone her craft, but she was aware that it would undoubtedly be a lonely existence; perhaps even a dangerous one if the rumors of ponykind's intolerance were to be believed.

Zecora’s mind told her to stay.

Zecora’s heart told her to go.

“... Hmmm...”

… Suddenly, an idea took root.

“Captain of this vessel, please humor me,” she began, shaping the idea into an actual plan. “To this conundrum, I believe I have found the key.”

“Whatever it is I’m giving you five seconds to spit it out before I leave ya on this dock,” the stallion snorted rudely, growing impatient. “I’ve got customers across the sea waiting on me, girly. Time is money.”

“And money is what I wish to discuss!” Zecora insisted, speaking quickly. “I promise I will not make any further fuss!”

“I promise I will not make any further fuss~” the sea captain echoed the mare's words mockingly. "Bah! I already told ya a thousand times that there are NO, REFUNDS!”

“I don’t want a stinking refund!” the lass angrily snapped, slipping from her rhyming cadence. “I just need to borrow one bit for flipping, that’s all!”

“For flipping?”

“Yes!” she again barked, before taking a deep breath to calm herself. “I-I mean, ahem… Though I possess plenty of drive, motivation, and spunk; for this final leap, I wish to consult Lady Luck.”

“... Huh?”

“Heads and I’ll go, forever bidding farewell to my home,” she explained carefully, justifying the decision to both her host and herself. “Tails and I’ll flee, leaving the bits to thee.”

“...”

“...”

“... Bleh… Look, lady,” the captain began slowly, growing exasperated. “The ‘no refund’ bit is just for show. Truth is, despite how much I want to, I can’t just take yer bits and scram; I have to give you something of equal value in return. If I don’t then I’ll have to explain to my tax accountant where the extra cash came from, and then my wife, and putting the idea that I'm hoarding unrecorded income into her head would just… bleh… Long story short; cheating them from ya is more trouble than it’s worth,” he finished, stomping a hoof against his ship’s railing…

Clink clink

… before tossing a single bit into Zecora’s unprepared hooves.

“If it comes up tails, I’m going to use the rest of yer stash to give the next creature I meet a free ride,” the stallion growled, making an effort to be civil. “Does that sound agreeable to ya, girly?”

Rather than reply, the young mare simply nodded her head a determined ‘yes.’

“Well then… flip it already!”

Realizing that the captain’s patience was now razor-thin, Zecora turned her attention to the single coin in her grasp.

Though the Kingdoms of Farasi and Equestria were no longer on speaking terms, the bit still held similar value on the eastern side of the Great Sea as it did on the west. Bearing Princess Celestia’s likeness on its face and her cutie mark on its back the golden sliver of metal possessed an equal disbursement of weight on both sides of its surface, meaning it could be utilized as a decider quite readily. One motion was all it would take to end this discussion once and for all.

One motion was all it would take to seal Zecora’s fate forever.

…

…

“... Inhale… Exhale…”

Fling~

Rattle rattle

Rattle rattle

Rattle…

… Flop

“...”

“...”

“... It… would appear that it is time for us to depart,” Zecora signed tiredly, though part of her was relieved. “The answer is heads; the one I always knew in my heart.”

“Great, wonderful, whooho,” the sea captain hissed humorlessly. “Now get yer flank up here lady and please, please stop rhyming.”

“I can not make that promise, good sir,” the now resolute mare answered back snarkily, as a great emotional weight was off of her haunches. “but if it’ll help I will gladly speak only in whisper~”

“... I should have charged more bits,” the stallion whined grumpily to himself. “Sweet Prince Abraxas on high I should have charged more bits.”

A few minutes later, with anchor weighed and headwind avoided, Zecora’s vessel departed from Port Casabronco and headed westwards towards the Kingdom of Equestria.

The young zebra didn’t know what she was bound to learn in the enchanted country of equines, but she was resolute in finding out.

It was from this day forth that the Legend of Zecora truly began!

Upon a lone pier at the edge of Horseshoe Bay, a roughened fishing vessel anchored itself tightly into place.

...Clipclopclipclop

Having miraculously survived the voyage from the Princess ruled Farasi to the Prince led Equestria, the ship's captain was the first to jump shoreside and the first to inspect the damages.

“... Bleh,” the old zebra mare growled to herself, upset with what she saw. “Great, the protective coating wore off. This is going to cost a flipping fortune to fix. If I hadn’t stuck around while that damn stallion was busy flipping coins maybe we could have avoided the heavier waves and… and... Bleh! I'm so stupid! Should have just taken the bits and ran!”

Clip clop clip clop

Unconcerned with the sea equine's woes, another zebra pony stepped forth from the ruined boat's remains. Halting only briefly to stretch and to stash an elaborate travel staff underneath their cloak, they began to head purposefully towards the distant buildings of Balitmare.

“Oh yer welcome, by the way!” the salty mare yelled heatedly towards the departing ex-passenger. “Ya could, oh I don’t know, thank me for the free ride or something! Or offer me a helping hoof?! But no, leave, that’s fine; not like I need assitance with this or anything! Not like my husband is going to kill me for damaging our boat or anything!”

Still unconcerned, the former patron continued to trot away towards the airship dock that lied in the sleepy town's center.

“... Bleh!” the ignored zebra returned to inspecting her ship, and continued to groan aloud. “Stupid haiku spouting freak!

“I hope I never see her again!"

Author's Note:

A little taste of what's to come...

... See you next year ^_^

Comments

[Kek lel]

Next year? ;-;

[Greenhorn]

Zecora is still a female zebra while the Mane Six are all stallions? Why do I smell a ship coming this way?

[Pandas Delightful]

Good explanation on why no one in Ponyville knows zebras exist. The two countries haven't really interacted in 1000 years. Also, good to see it's just Zecora who's rhyming, and it's not a normal thing for zebras. Adds a little to her character.
Now, I guess this means her episode is up next, then?

[Asimov_Law]

That her at the end doesn't match the prevailing pattern, am I correct in the assumption that it is an intentional detail?

[ManlyDerp]

11070075
11070052

Maaaaaaayyyybbbbeeee

[Pandas Delightful]

11070075
My assumption was that the one who saw Zecora leave was the stallion's wife. He was probably inside the boat.

[Asimov_Law]

11070153
Nah, cause he said his wife would ask where the extra money came from so we can infer that she doesn't know about the crossings, the stallion also refers to a zebra prince, but the zebra mare at the end refers to a zebra princess with the same name but still refers to zecora as a her. This story already has a heavy focus on parallel universes and the similarities and differences between them.

[PhycoKrusk]

And so, much like Prince Solaris when he overdoes it on leg day... the plot thickens.

[Asimov_Law]

11070118
Thought so, of topic but curious, is cog in the machine ever getting updated or should I consider it, for all intents and purposes, dead?

[Pandas Delightful]

11070173
Oh yeah, missed that. It only mentioned the world change when talking about Princess-ruled kingdoms and Prince-ruled kingdoms. Also, that last sentence made me think we were back in canon.

“I hope I never see her again!"

[Asimov_Law]

11070187
That last sentence is the crux of the issue, the fact that zecora us female in both worlds is an outlier to a prevailing pattern and is, therefore, worth noting.

[jasha3558021]

Estoy feliz de que la historia no esté cancelada pensé que llano iban a hacer más capítulos, estoy feliz de haberme equivocado 😁👍
Saludos desde Perú 🇦🇹

[Kichi]

It was from this day forth that the Legend of Zecora truly began!

And so, a strange pink hated dragon began the journey to find the three magical stones with the help of a annoying talking parasprite who only knew "Hey Listen" "Watch Out" in Equestrian and many more dangers to come.

[Moonlight_Mist]

A little taste of what's to come...

I get the strange feeling you aren't just talking about Zecora's introduction to the story. In past chapters we've gotten glimpses into another Equestria that's closer to the canonical one, one that runs seemingly parallel to the one we're more consistently observing here. I'm guessing these two alternates are not as parallel as we've come to believe, and we're inevitably, if possibly slowly, approaching a convergence. Whether such a meeting of realities would cause more than just confusion is up in the air.

[Booster Spice]

I like how the length of this storry at this chapter, is the first 6 digits of Pinkie, with a twist in the end.

[MuffinCookie]

So Male!Zecora stayed home and was replaced by a mystery mare then?

[Charedfirescale]

It’s looks like male zecora was replaced with Zecora. It’s the only explanation. Since the Zebra mare says everything in Haiku

[MuffinCookie]

11070426
It isn't the only explanation.

[ManlyDerp]

11070352
Dingdingdingdingding!! We have a winner

[ManlyDerp]

11070177
My issues with updating it again are three-fold:

1.) I'm not the same person anymore who originally wrote it. I've come to better understand myself and no longer feel the need to vent my frustrations through the dark ending that was originally planned for the tale.

2.) Writing in general has become harder in recent years as adult life and my desire to transition into my true self has taken presidency over what started as escapist fantasy. When I'm ready to return to Cog's world it will likely be after I've dealt with my personal demons first and after I've left Barbara's story at a decent pausing point; i.e. between an act's ending and the next one's beginning.

3.) Lastly, and please understand that I'm stating this as calmly as possible; the more I view a story as "work" the less I'm willing to think about it. The day I work on Cog in the Machine again is the day I haven't thought about it in a very long time. Approaching it with fresh eyes is the only way I'll be able to reinvigorate it with new ideas that'll help it grow into a story I desire working on...

... Re-answering the "Is it dead?" question, however, resets that mental timer and returns the whole project to the "work" bin.

So for all intents and purposes; yes. It's dead. Every time I'm forced to think of it as work it dies again. It has the potential to be revived from the grave, hence why it's not listed as canceled and hence why the Super Speedy Cider Squeezy Episode of The Poisoned Barb's Tale is going to be a fun one for me to write.

This last part is not for you specifically, and is instead intended for others; please do not ask about that story again on The Poisoned Barb's series or any other of my works. I will no longer answer the question with anything other than what I just wrote.

I'm sorry to disappoint, but I just want to write for fun now.

-Derply

[AvidSeason]

11070177
Most likely, it be dead. I've learned not to expect anything from the project.

[ManlyDerp]

11070257
11070032

Slow but steady (Lenta pero constante) 😤

[Asimov_Law]

11070482
Dude, I totally get it, sorry to beat a dead horse (pun intended).

[Asimov_Law]

11070689
Well aren't you a ray of sunshine

[More Dakka]

11070482
Stumbling on this comment after finally finding the time to read this chapter kinda felt like
c.tenor.com/14hr1KPxcCoAAAAC/community-donald-glover.gif

But I understand. Do what you gotta do to make writing fun again. I look forward to that spoiler episdoe.

-

First time I read this chapter I honestly thought you were implying that show Zecora is really a dude. I have either way too much or way to little caffeine in my system.

[ManlyDerp]

11073953
11071271
11070499

Comehereyou c.tenor.com/aYtT62ZWSHQAAAAC/my-little-pony-hug.gif

[Asimov_Law]

11074537
A hug from the most eye-burningly pink character I have ever seen

[TheaSuncream]

Im ducking late to the Party! I didn't notice this because my Phone hung itself up and I haven't had an opportunity to check!

I sense some restless waters coming up. Cool and definetly concerning. Another questionable influence, like with boastbusters, most likely...

That is, unless Zecorion doesn't set her straight at one point.

[TheaSuncream]

11074537
... room for one more?

[ManlyDerp]

11075595
Get over here you~ images-wixmp-ed30a86b8c4ca887773594c2.wixmp.com/f/fdadb397-290a-492d-ad1a-d4fa37ceda8c/dc3q77m-af4165d1-06e6-434e-85ee-1a78ce9fa94f.png/v1/fill/w_1024,h_944,q_80,strp/pinkie_pie_hugging__twilight_by_jamnetwork_dc3q77m-fullview.jpg?token=eyJ0eXAiOiJKV1QiLCJhbGciOiJIUzI1NiJ9.eyJzdWIiOiJ1cm46YXBwOjdlMGQxODg5ODIyNjQzNzNhNWYwZDQxNWVhMGQyNmUwIiwiaXNzIjoidXJuOmFwcDo3ZTBkMTg4OTgyMjY0MzczYTVmMGQ0MTVlYTBkMjZlMCIsIm9iaiI6W1t7ImhlaWdodCI6Ijw9OTQ0IiwicGF0aCI6IlwvZlwvZmRhZGIzOTctMjkwYS00OTJkLWFkMWEtZDRmYTM3Y2VkYThjXC9kYzNxNzdtLWFmNDE2NWQxLTA2ZTYtNDM0ZS04NWVlLTFhNzhjZTlmYTk0Zi5wbmciLCJ3aWR0aCI6Ijw9MTAyNCJ9XV0sImF1ZCI6WyJ1cm46c2VydmljZTppbWFnZS5vcGVyYXRpb25zIl19.igdTdhbLCNXyUAfclEnfNJXHAQnr6Rd48lKXHKX_BsI

[jasha3558021]

11071231
Estoy totalmente de acuerdo

[falconstrings]

Ey, great chapter, i feel like we saw a similar scene a while ago...well, that or i'm thinking of a different story... 🤔 oh well 🤷

[jasha3558021]

Estas vivo ?

[ManlyDerp]

11130491
si, solo estoy descansando

[jasha3558021]

11131324
Ok😁👍

[jasha3558021]

Ahora si se murió

[ManlyDerp]

11202065
No muerto. Solo tratando de sobrevivir

[jasha3558021]

11202306
Como todos 🤒

[Kichi]

11202306
No esta muerto hasta que no lleve un año sin capitulos o tu lo digas... De momento solo esta en coma con olor a rancio

[ManlyDerp]

11236447
Un olor MUY rancio.

Acabo de dar un paso muy importante en mi recuperación. Tengo un médico animándome a escribir de nuevo. No hay garantías, pero el futuro es brillante ^_^

[Kichi]

11236836
No vayas hacia la luz! Es una trampa! (Igual que la tarta) [The cake is a lie]

[Kichi]

11236836
Alguna oportunidad de que veamos algo nuevo antes de navidad?

[jasha3558021]

Es y a vivo?

[earth]

Just hope you haven't given up on this story yet.

[jasha3558021]

Supongo que ya es oficial, se nos fue 😭😭😭.
Adiós baquero.

[Jack14]

Are you still doing a cog in the machine

[Arcticlizard52]

So uh what's going on?

[Kek lel]

11385151
Same

[Jack14]

Hi

[La Bestia]

Supongo que este Fic no volverá jamás :c