Poetry and Prose, Chapter 7.2: The Lonely Sun - Midday
Eyes blinded by spite, the lonely Sun couldn't know, that from it's warm light, a Shadow did grow.
Then Shadow saw Sun, in it's spite and isolation, and sought to be one, offering itself in temptation.
Taking Shadow's will, the lonely Sun gained a friend, making anger fall still, as its freedom came to end.
From shadow and light, their combined strength did bare, a being ripe with might, calling itself Shadow Flare.
So Sun did shine, harkening to a new master. With words declared divine, brought Equestria disaster.
When Moon returned, it begged for the Sun's rest, but the Moon's words were spurned, for night did Shadow Flare detest.
Through grief and tears, six lights the Moon did claim, and for a thousand years, forced Shadow Flare tame.
Shadow and light bound, the Sun's responsibilities claimed, company kept them sound, while the Moon ruled alone, ashamed.
And so the two, now made into one, watched from their new home. A smile carried by the Sun, happy it was not alone...
~~~~~~~~~~
“Sunset...” Trixie began, drawing Sunset's attention as they looked to each other, Trixie wearing a concerned expression, “Did you, break the sun?” Sunset blinked at her, actually giving the question a moment of serious consideration.
“Sunset didn't break the sun!” Twilight quickly assured, then gave her a hesitant look, “Right?”
Did I? Sunset thought, looking to the ground wide-eyed as the workings of the spell rushed through her head, seeing if she was the cause of this, and greatly hoping she wasn't. No, that doesn't make any sense. The spell can't make the sun flare like this!
“N-No, I didn't!” she declared with certainty, her face quite flustered, “I've never tried the spell on the sun, until just now!” Trixie and Twilight shared a look, prompting Sunset to step closer to them. “I've used the spell to get a feel for the moon, but I haven't tried to move either.” Even though I really wanted to, she thought to herself as Spike nodded.
“It's true!” he declared confidently, “If she'd pulled it off, she'd have made a big deal out of it.”
“Well,” Twilight started, her look becoming reassuring, “I guess we'll have to ask Luna about it.” Her brow then furrowed as she considered something, “Though, will she still come?”
“It is midday,” Trixie affirmed, “So she should be here any minute now.” Sunset nodded to them as she looked to Canterlot, her brow furrowing in doubt as she turned to the dragon.
“Spike, take a letter."
“Sunset?” Spike replied, bringing out paper and quill, giving her a confused look.
“Luna may have her hooves full with this. There's a chance she needs our help,” Sunset explained as she noticed Applejack approaching them. “So it might be better if we send word now, instead of waiting for her.” Spike nodded and started writing as Applejack addressed them.
“Any of you know what's goin' on with the sun?” she asked as she brought a hoof over her eyes to examine the large fiery ball in the sky. The three unicorns shook their heads as Sunset noticed Spike burn the letter.
“Well,” Sunset began, “it's now on fire.”
“Really?” Applejack asked as she raised an eyebrow.
“And more importantly, it's not moving,” Sunset quickly added, prompting Applejack to adopt a worried look. “We just sent a letter to Luna, so-” Sunset was interrupted when Spike immediately burped out a letter, “Th-That was fast!” she exclaimed, quickly levitating the letter to her eyes. She instantly recognized Spike's claw-writing, and it took her a moment to understand that his letter had been returned. “The letter was returned?” Sunset stated as she took on the same worried look Applejack had.
“Has that happened before?” Trixie asked, getting Sunset and Spike to shake their heads in unison. “Does that mean she's not taking letters right now?”
“That, or something's blocking the magic,” Twilight offered.
“So, you can't reach Princess Luna?” Applejack asked.
“Spike, try again.” Sunset requested, and Spike did just that, having his letter return again in short order.
“Well, that's not good,” Applejack affirmed as she looked to the town, a small number of ponies gathering towards them in confusion. Sunset began to notice water dripping off of the snow buried roofs, and so did Applejack, who nodded to herself as she looked to Twilight. “What can we expect if the sun stays there?”
“Snow will melt, naturally,” Twilight quickly answered as she considered the possibilities, “If it's a short term problem, then the melted snow will ice up when things return to normal. There's also a small risk of flooding.” Applejack considered that for a moment as Twilight hesitated, “If it's a long term problem, we could be looking at droughts, and possibly wildfires.” That made all of them adopt a terribly concerned look as they briefly glanced to the heavens.
“Let's hope it's short term,” Applejack affirmed, “Either way, let me worry 'bout Ponyville. You three do what you need to.” Sunset and Twilight shared a look before nodding, and Spike took up a small grin as Trixie looked to Applejack in confusion.
“Trixie doesn't know what you mean.”
“I think she means finding Luna and fixing the sun,” Twilight clarified, getting a nod from Applejack, who gave her a determined look, before turning to the gathering ponies of Ponyville.
“Everypony listen up!” Applejack began, “We're gonna need some volunteers to help manage this heat. Anypony willin' to help out, stay in front of town hall!” Applejack then gave the group an assured smile, “And everypony else, continue enjoyin' the festival!” Applejack then nodded, “Got some unexpected weather to manage, not much more than that.” Then she added quietly, “That I know of, anyway.”
“Hmm, so then, Trixie supposes it's up to us to fix the bigger problem,” she affirmed with a confident smile, “Nothing The Great and Powerful Trixie, along with her friends, can't handle!” Her enthusiasm washed over the others, making a small smile grow on their faces as Twilight looked to Sunset.
“Do you think you can move the sun away from Equestria? Help lower the heat?” Twilight asked, prompting Sunset to shake her head.
“From what I know of the spell, that's practically impossible.” Sunset then considered that for a moment as she appraised the fiery orb. “Though, its heat would pose less of a problem if it was lower in the sky...” She briefly considered trying to lower it, then shook her head. No, using magic on it right now could make things worse. We'll need to figure out what's wrong first!
“None of your books have the answer?” Trixie asked Twilight, prompting the lavender mare to shake her head.
“I've read all the books in the library-” Twilight's eyes then widened in realization, in time with Sunset's, as they both looked to each other. “Poetry and Prose!” Twilight exclaimed as Sunset let out a small, annoyed groan, directed at herself. The others traded in surprise for confusion as she addressed them.
“Luna said the book needed to be delivered before noon,” Sunset explained, I was so caught up in everything that I just- Sunset's eyes then widened as another thought dawned on her. Wait, is Luna testing us?
“In that case,” Twilight began, a determined look in her eyes, “let's return to the-” Sunset didn't hesitate, and her horn glowed. With a emerald flash, all four of them were back at the-
“library,” Twilight finished, a little surprised by the unexpected teleport. Trixie shook her head, caught off guard by being yanked along by another pony's magic. She then turned to Sunset, a stern frown welcoming her face.
“Trixie requests that you ask first next time!” she declared in annoyance, huffing out a heated breath as she started to take in Twilight's library to distract herself from her anger.
“Sorry. I didn't want to waste too much time with walking, not with what's going on. I'll ask next time,” Sunset assured apologetically. Spike then hopped off her as she turned to her friends, “I get the feeling that this may be Luna giving us another test.”
“What makes you think that?” Twilight asked as Sunset approached Twilight's desk, picking up 'Poems and Prose' with her magic.
“She wanted this delivered by noon. When noon came, the sun decided to be, sunnier, and now our letters aren't reaching her. She brought us together for this-”
“Sunset,” Twilight began, putting a hoof on Sunset's shoulder, “I don't think Luna would set the sun on fire just to test us.” Twilight then hesitated, “At least, not without filling us in, first.”
“You know, Trixie really hopes it's just a test. She'd hate to think that something's happened to Luna.” That thought hadn't even crossed Sunset's mind. She honestly couldn't picture anything that would prove a challenge to the princess.
Considering Twilight's words, Sunset opened the book, her eyes immediately drawn to a folded letter stuck to the inside of the cover. A little surprised, Sunset pulled the letter off, feeling faint traces of what remained of a concealment spell. Presenting the letter to the others, she cleared her throat, and read the letter out loud.
“To my dearest students. Before reading the book, separate yourselves from any nearby sunlight." Sunset blinked as she looked to the others before continuing, "Close off the windows and stay indoors. She can see you where the sun touches. Ever since she was imprisoned, she could see where the sunlight falls, and she mustn't see what's in this book.”
Finishing that paragraph, the three of them shared a look, and in terribly quick order, all the windows were curtained off. Then they boarded them all up, just for good measure. Now, not a glimmer of sunlight was able to enter the library, and a candle had to be lit so everyone could see.
“You know,” Spike began as he tossed a hammer to the side, “we could have just gone into the basement.”
“Basement's off limits,” Twilight quickly replied, her eyes then widening at how fast she had cut that option off, “I, I'm researching something important, and I'd rather nopony see it just yet,” she added sheepishly. Sunset raised an eyebrow to her, but let the matter drop as she continued narrating the letter.
“An old enemy of Equestria was destined to return today, so I sent you all away so I could battle her, while keeping each of you safe. She's been watching Equestria for a long time, and she undoubtedly knows of what the three of you are capable of. I couldn't risk any of you being within earshot of the castle, or you'd get yourselves involved. For making sure all of you were away during my battle, I'm terribly sorry.” Sunset paused, what she read sinking in, the silence in the room becoming painful as her eyes glossed over the next sentence, making her mouth hang open as her eyes started to itch. “I, I will lose.” Sunset's eyes froze on that sentence, unsure if she had even spoken it out loud as her mind was wracked by disbelief.
Luna? Our Luna? Losing!? But, Luna can't lose! Can she? How? Why! Who would-
“Sunset...” Trixie stated cautiously, putting her hoof on Sunset's shoulder, making her jump slightly. She hadn't realized it until Trixie touched her, but she was trembling. That realization only worked to confuse Sunset as Twilight gently took the letter from her.
Luna lost to somepony, and now the sun won't move? Who could do that? Sunset wondered, her shock drifting away as her brow furrowed at the notion that anypony would bring harm to somepony she cared for. Whoever it is, the one that can see with sunlight, I'll make them pay!
“I, I'll read on,” Twilight said hesitantly, pulling Sunset from her thoughts, getting a small nod from Trixie as Twilight's eyes went down the paper, levitating her glasses over as she reached where Sunset had left off. Leaving the spectacles close to her, she continued on, “Look to chapter 7.1-3, as well as the final poem in Clover's book, there you will find the answers you'll need.” Twilight then smiled as she finished, “Don't worry about me. I'll be fine, and so will each of you. I have faith that you'll be able to handle this crisis, so believe in yourselves, as I believe in you. Be safe, and strong. Luna.” Twilight then looked to the letter for a moment longer, sniffling lightly, before looking to her friends, and they all shared a somber look. Trixie, not taking kindly to the atmosphere, cleared her throat as she adopted a fierce grin.
“S-Sounds like Princess Luna could use our aid!” Trixie quickly stated, nodding to herself as her bravado swelled up, “Guess we have no choice but to be dashing heroines, off to take on whatever evil has accosted Equestria!”
“Do you think we can?” Twilight asked, and Sunset nodded, an fierce and certain fire burning in her eyes, born of anger from whoever caused all this, and determination born from Trixie's words.
“We will,” Sunset sternly stated as she looked to the book, “So let's get to learning about what we're dealing with.” Twilight nodded, putting on her spectacles as she flipped through to chapter seven, the words on the pages lighting up the glasses, the magic within them activating.
“The lonely sun... Shadow Flare, and the sunset,” Twilight said, almost in the trance as the entire poem was instantly absorbed by her, with her spectacles. She then blinked, closing the book as she took the glasses off, before looking to the others. “Oh, Right. I'll recite the poem for everyone. Let's see, 'The Sun shines bright, cast out the night...”
And from there, Twilight recounted the three poems, and after finishing, her brow was furrowed in thought. “Is this poem a prophecy?” she wondered out loud, considering it for several moments, breaking out of the spell when Sunset cleared her throat. “Oh, sorry. Um, let's see. I think the poem is referring to Luna's older sister, Celestia. According to the poem, she was possessed by something long ago, and Luna had to seal her away somewhere.” Sunset nodded in agreement, falling in line with what they knew about Celestia-
“Luna has a sister?” Spike asked, getting a nod from the others.
“You recall the alicorn in the mural behind Luna's desk, in the royal library?” Sunset asked Spike, who quickly nodded, “that's Celestia. She was the princess of the sun, and she disappeared a thousand years ago, which led to Luna needing to raise and lower both the moon and sun.”
“Huh,” Spike stated, “Luna has a sister... It sounds like something happened to her, long ago.” Spike considered that for several moments before continuing, retaining the others attention, “So Shadow Flare, did the poem say how to beat her? I didn't really get it.”
“Well,” Twilight began, “It mentioned six lights, as well as lowering the sun. From what the poem says, Celestia was possessed by some sort of dark presence.” Twilight considered all that for a moment, as did Sunset and Trixie, “I, I think Shadow Flare need's daylight, to maintain that possession.”
“Oh, wait!” Spike said excitedly, stealing everponys attention as he grabbed the book from Twilight, flipping to the back, “Luna's letter said it was that poem, and the one in the back, that we needed to look at,” he proclaimed as he pointed to the last poem in the book, holding the book towards Twilight. She put her reading spectacles back on as she looked over the poem, the words on the pages again being instantly taken in by the glasses' magic.
“'Six lights united, now divided. For between the Sun and Moon, Harmony's loss presided...” Twilight continued, reading out the entire poem to the others. It was shortly clear to Sunset that this poem was closer to a prophecy than the other, and when Twilight finished, a somber silence fell within the library as the weight of those words seeped into each of them.
“Let's see,” Sunset began, her simmering anger born of their foe helping her break the mood as she looked to her friends, “The six lights referred to in each poem, that has to be the Elements of Harmony,” and quickly catching the confused look Trixie had, “It was six crystals that embodied Harmony. Magic, Kindness, Honesty, Laughter, Generosity, and Loyalty. Looks like they were lost with Celestia long ago. Now we know what became of them, sort of.” Sunset nodded to herself as she explained, “Shadow Flare was locked away, and in the process the Elements of Harmony were damaged.”
“So if we want to deal with this Shadow Flare,” Trixie began as she looked over the poem, “we need the Elements of Harmony. And whatever this Spark, Radiance and Flare is.” Sunset nodded as she looked to Twilight.
“Any idea what those may be?”
“It's probably a spell of some kind,” Twilight offered as her brow furrowed, “So, from what it looks like, we need to find the elements, and whatever those three things are.” She then picked up Luna's letter, scrutinizing it with her magic before letting out a sigh, “And it doesn't look like Luna decided to tell us where she hid the elements.”
“Luna hid them?” Spike asked, “I don't recall the poems saying anything about that.”
“It's an assumption,” Twilight explained, “She used them last, so she probably hid them away. If Shadow Flare can see where the sunlight touches, then I can see why Luna was being so secretive about it. I bet Shadow Flare's trying to find them right now,” she offered as her brow furrowed. “So, where did Luna hide them?” They all looked to each other, and suspecting Luna had left them a clue, they started to dig around in their memories.
“Oh!” Trixie exclaimed happily, breaking everyone else from their contemplation, “Trixie has a guess~! They must be in the royal library!” Twilight and Sunset both gave her an uncertain look.
“What makes you think that?” Twilight asked.
“Weelll, if The Great and Powerful Trixie wanted to hide something very important, she'd keep it close by! And, if she really wanted to throw off anypony looking for it, she'd hide it in plain sight!” Sunset blinked, looking to Trixie wide-eyed, a little impressed by how 'Luna' that sounded.
“That sounds like something Luna would do,” Twilight affirmed, getting an agreeing nod from the others, “Then, if that's the case, we'd have to head to Canterlot.” She then looked to Sunset, then shook her head, “And we'll have to take the long way.”
“...Right, no teleporting,” Sunset replied, seeing where Twilight was coming from, “It wouldn't be all that good if I was on the edge of passing out as soon as we got there.”
“That,” Twilight began, “and we may need your magic if we can't find the elements.”
“To lower the sun?” Sunset asked, and Twilight nodded, prompting Sunset to adopt a determined look. She wasn't one hundred percent sure if she could pull it off, but there was no doubt she'd put her everything in-
“But let's leave that as a last resort.” Twilight added, getting a confused look from the others.
“Why?” Trixie asked, “Why not try it now?”
“Because I'm pretty sure Shadow Flare controls the sun now. And I don't think Sunset would win a tug-of-war with her,” Twilight then looked to Sunset apologetically, “no offense.” Sunset's brow furrowed at that.
“Give me some credit Twilight,” Sunset began, a little annoyed, “I haven't tried it yet, so don't write me off already.”
“Sunset,” Twilight replied, giving Sunset an appraising look, “do you think your magic is stronger than Luna's?” Sunset hesitated to reply, as it was something she hadn't considered before.
“I, don't know.” If she succeeds with moving the sun, which she was quite certain she was capable of, then that would mean her magic is on the same level as the princesses'. “But, still. We don't know if it'll work unless we try.” She then gave Twilight a smile, “But, I agree, we should leave it as a last resort.” In case Shadow Flare's weakness isn't actually lowering the sun. We need to learn more about our foe. So, she knows about us, does that mean she'll come for us? Sunset thought to herself as Spike stepped forward.
“Hey!” he said, looking like he just thought of something amazing, “If Luna fought Shadow Flare, then wouldn't she be tired?” The three unicorns shared a surprised look, and Sunset nodded.
“It's possible, if so, we should confront her before she recovers." She then shook her head, "Regardless, we need to move fast! The longer the sun is up, the hotter it'll get. We need to reach Canterlot-” she was interrupted by the sound of furious knocking at the door, causing Trixie and Twilight to flinch as they looked to the source.
“Twilight!? Uhh, Sunset Shimmer?” An unfamiliar, tomboyish voice cried out from the opposite side, “Are you in there? It's really, really important!”
“I think I know that voice...” Twilight affirmed curiously, dispelling Sunset's hesitation as she opened the door, surprising everyone with who was standing on the other side.
It was a Shadowbolt, a member of Luna's wing of elite pegasi. She wore an almost completely covering black and purple uniform, with purple and yellow goggles shielding her eyes. Her coat and feathers were cyan, and she sported a rare multicolored mane, resembling a rainbow. With the door open, the mare quickly entered, and as she closed the door, Sunset noted that the sky had been overcast with clouds, as she looked to the Shadowbolt.
“Oooh, a Shadowbolt? Most excellent!” Trixie proclaimed enthusiastically, “Now we can get some answers!”
“Yes,” the newcomer replied, “it's bad. Like, really bad!” she affirmed as she looked to the covered windows, nodding with approval. Sunset noted Twilight taking a step forward, giving the newcomer an odd look.
“Rainbow Dash?” Twilight asked, and the Shadowbolt flinched as she looked to Twilight, then shook her head.
“I'm afraid you've got me mixed up with some other pony, I'm Shadow Blitz!” she affirmed, puffing her chest out in pride. After an awkward pause, she cleared her throat as she nodded to herself, “I don't know who this Rainbow Dash is, but if you confused me for her, then she must be a preetttty awesome pony.”
“Who's Rainbow Dash?” Spike asked Twilight curiously, and Sunset couldn't help but notice Shadow Blitz bite her tongue as Twilight turned to the dragon.
“A friend, she's also best friends with Fluttershy.” Twilight answered with a confident nod, then, realizing nopony else knew who this Fluttershy was, elaborated, “The pegasus that helps at the Pony & Pet clinic.” Sunset couldn't help but hide a smile, as the Shadowbolt seemed to be struggling to keep herself from replying.
Just how many friends does Twilight have in Ponyville? Sunset wondered as Shadow Blitz shook her head, then beat the ground with a hoof as she cleared her throat.
“Luna, and my friends- I mean, the rest of the Shadowbolts, they've all been sent to the moon!” There was a brief pause following her reply as the mood in the library shifted.
“W-What!!??” everyone else replied almost in unison.
“Yeah!” Shadow Blitz replied, a dark scowl on her face. “Princess Luna knew that big mare with the shadows was coming, and she had all of us ready to fight that mare. I tell you, it was quite the fight! But, we were outmatched,” she bitterly admitted, looking to the ground. “Princess Luna, Darkfire, Shade Soar, and Specterhoof, all of them were sent to the moon!” She stomped her hoof again as she looked to the others.
“How'd you get away?” Sunset asked, How long ago was the fight? Did she come straight to Ponyville afterwards? Sunset wondered as the mare glared at her. Shadow Blitz then let out a sad, yet angry sigh.
“She let me.”
“Huh?” Spike asked.
“She. Let. Me. Go!” Shadow Blitz repeated.
“So if she let you go, then-” Sunset began, her mind wandering to the involved parties at the castle. A troublesome thought came to mind, and her eyes widened, her blood running cold as she stepped towards Blitz, “The royal guard, where were they during the fight!?” Her question caught the pegasus off guard, as Twilight also adopted Sunset's terribly worried expression. Is Shining Armor alright!?
“I, I don't know.” Shadow Blitz admitted, “The guard wasn't at the castle when we arrived, I think Princess Luna issued them orders, but I wasn't informed of what. Sorry,” Blitz added, seeing how troubled they were concerning this matter. She then took off her goggles, rubbing her red eyes as she looked to Sunset, “Look, uh, Sunset, Shadow Flare, she let me go for a reason. She told me, to give you a message.” Sunset's fear shifted to anger as she adopted a glare.
“What does she want?”
“She wants to talk to you, that she'll be waiting at the castle for you.” She then slapped her goggles on, and turned to the door, “And, well, since that's done, I'm going back.” Blitz then nodded, her stance becoming more certain, “I am going to show that mare just who she's messing with!”
“What!?” Trixie cried out, “You're going back!? Alone!? You'll lose!”
“So!? What I do is Shadowbolt business, so stay out of it.” Blitz quickly replied, “I'm going back to show her I'm not some pony you can just push around!”
“No, you're not.” Twilight sternly replied, making the Shadowbolt flinch, looking to her, surprised. “You'll just get banished like the others-”
“I'm a Shadowbolt! I need to be with the princess, and my friends!
“Rainbow Dash-”
“Shadow Blitz!”
“Whatever!” Twilight shouted, getting a surprised look from her friends, “Look, we're going to the castle, and we're going to deal with Shadow Flare, and rescue Luna. But, it would be nice, to have some help.” Shadow Blitz looked over Twilight for a moment, who took the opportunity to drive her point home. “Or, are you just going to get yourself banished, leaving your best friend behind?” she asked as she raised an eyebrow. Blitz's brow furrowed as she took a step towards Twilight.
“That's not fair, and you know it.” She glared at Twilight for a moment, who calmly looked back, and under that calm gaze, the Shadowbolt let out an annoyed sigh. “Fiiine, no flying off to fight a losing battle... That I could totally win. Just saying. So, what do the Disciples of the Moon need of me?” Sunset groaned internally at that title as Twilight adopted a smile, surprising the pegasus with a hug.
“Thank you, Shadow Blitz,” Twilight replied, making the cyan mare blush lightly, “We need to get to Canterlot as fast as we can. We can take the hot air balloon, can you give us some speed?”
“You need speed? Then you came to the right pegasus!”
“Alright then, let's get a move on!” Sunset affirmed, getting a nod from the others as she opened the door, heading out so see the sky was completely cloudy, making it a bit darker out. It also felt cooler, not so much summer hot, but more spring-like. Looks like Applejack managed just fine. So, can Shadow Flare see us, right now? Sunset wondered as she glared at the sky, picturing the fiery sun behind that ceiling of clouds, Well, once we leave that cover, there won't be any doubt. She'll know we're coming.
“Am I staying behind?” Spike asked sheepishly as he stopped at the doorway, claws behind his back as he looked to the ground.
“What?” Sunset asked, pulled out of her thoughts unexpectedly, “Oh, no,” she quickly replied as she levitated him onto her back, getting a smile from him. “At least, not here,” she added as she considered her young assistant, “you'll be going with us to Canterlot. From there... I don't know.” Sunset then nodded to herself, “I need to think about it, I'm not sure what we're in for, or what Shadow Flare wants with me.”
“Nothing good,” Trixie confidently proclaimed, “That's for sure.”
“Oh, well, okay,” Spike replied, satisfied at the moment with that answer, as they started making their way to the landing for the balloon.
“Do we have a plan?” Twilight asked, getting a quick nod from Sunset.
“I have something in mind,” Sunset stated with earnest, “I'll go over it when we're inside the castle.”
“Won't she stop us from doing that?” Trixie asked curiously. "Trixie of course meaning herself, Twilight and Shadow Dash?"
"Shadow Blitz!"
"Whatever," Trixie replied, prompting Sunset to shake her head.
“No worries,” Sunset assured, “getting inside the castle is the easy part, right?” Twilight and Trixie considered that for a moment, then caught on to what Sunset was referring to, and nodded in agreement, prompting them all to adopt a sly smile. Having spent many years in Luna's castle, the three of them were well familiar with its countless secret passageways. Teleporting into them from outside was something they could do in their sleep.
A brief quiet fell over each of them as they started considering what was to come, and the silence was broken when Spike looked to address everypony, a curious expression on his face.
“So, why did Luna send everypony to Ponyville?”
“It was to keep us safe, right?” Trixie asked.
“Well, couldn't we have hid in one of the secret passages?” Spike asked, and Sunset considered that before shaking her head.
“I wouldn't be able to do it. Stay hidden, while Luna fought somepony dangerous.”
“Trixie agrees, She would have helped.”
“Same here,” Twilight affirmed, “She's right, we would have gotten involved, and may have been banished too.”
“Or, maybe we could have won!” Sunset proclaimed in frustration, prompting Twilight to let out a small sigh at Sunset's words. Though, Sunset reluctantly thought, if that was the case, then I suppose Luna would have had us with her, instead of sending us away...
As they got closer to the landing, Sunset spotted Applejack, looking over the festivities while also conversing with several pegasi. Sunset briefly considered filling in the mayor, then nodded to herself, following her friends till they reached the balloon. Quickly making note of the location, Sunset told them she'd return shortly, asking them to ready the balloon in her absence. She then teleported to where she last saw Applejack, leaving Spike and the others behind.
Spotting the orange mare not too far away, Sunset quickly trotted up to her. Applejack noticed Sunset approaching, and in quick order, freed herself from the ponies she was conversing with to give Sunset her full attention. In short order, Sunset filled the mayor in, telling her everything they learned, minus the Elements of Harmony, in case a certain somepony was spying on them.
“That's … pretty bad,” Applejack began, looking a little lost, “And a lot to take in." She considered all she heard for a moment before giving Sunset a grateful look, "Yer sure 'bout this?" Sunset nodded, "You know, you didn't have to tell me.”
“Somepony else needed to know, and you're the pony in charge around here.”
“Is there any way I can help?”
“To be honest... I don't know." Sunset admitted, "I'm not sure what'll happen when we encounter Shadow Flare. I keep telling myself it'll be alright, that we'll show her that you don't mess with Luna. But, I'm also a little worried...” that we'll fail. Applejack appraised her for several moments, seeming lost in thought, before her eyes looked to Sunset's.
“Twilight's yer friend, right?”
“Right,” Sunset replied, a little confused, not sure where Applejack was going with this.
“Then trust her to keep an eye out fer you. Just like I'm trustin' you to do the same fer her.” Sunset was a little taken aback by that, giving Applejack a scrutinizing look.
“Wait, you want to go with us, don't you?” Sunset ask, and Applejack nodded, adopting a sad smile.
“But I can't. I gotta look after Ponyville, so please, could you look after Twilight fer me.”
“You didn't even need to ask," Sunset replied resolutely, "You can count on it!” she assured, getting a thankful smile from Applejack as she nodded towards the direction the landing was.
“Then get a move on. I'll keep what you shared with me a secret, fer a few hours. Our weather ponies are startin' to notice that the sun ain't movin', so it isn't gonna be easy, fer either of us.” Her brow then furrowed as she offered her hoof, “So, good luck.” Sunset nodded, taking her hoof and giving it a firm shake.
“You too.”
With that, they both let go. Sunset gave Applejack a smile, and Sunset herself was surprised by that fact, as she teleported back to the landing, thinking about what just transpired between her and the mayor.
Did I … just make a new friend? Sunset wondered, curious as to what Twilight would have to say on the notion.
Being welcomed back by the others, she got on the balloon, which was ready to go, and in short order, the three unicorns and dragon were off, with Shadow Blitz pulling the balloon off towards Canterlot, moving at an impressive pace.
As they drifted, Sunset found her mind wandering towards Applejack and Shining Armor, worried she'd disappoint the former, and worried for the health of the latter. Sunset's eyes then fell to Twilight, a common link between Applejack and Shining Armor, and friends with Rainbow Dash- Shadow Blitz- whatever, as well as other ponies in Ponyville. She saw all the friendly looks Twilight got as she gave the tour earlier, and it brought a small smile to Sunset's face, and she could feel a glimmer of an old emotion stir. Sunset quietly smothered her building envy, considering the fact that Applejack was relying on her, and that she was going on a date with Shining Armor tomorrow.
Assuming he's alright tomorrow. Assuming I'm all right tomorrow. Assuming Equestria is all right tomorrow. Assuming everything ends up all nice and perfect! she thought with a sigh. And shortly following those thoughts, the cloud cover over Ponyville was left behind them. The sky instantly seemed to flare with light, the shadow of the balloon offering little comfort as the midday heat greeted them.
The temperature prompted Sunset's brow to furrow, her mind now drifting to the pony that wished to speak to her, prompting Sunset to let out an angry sigh. Seeking to distract herself from an unavoidable confrontation, Sunset looked to Trixie, who was busy fiddling with her cape nervously. Sunset moved closer, sitting next to her, giving her a reassuring smile, which Trixie adopted, mouthing a small 'thank you' as Sunset looked to Twilight.
She seemed to be thoroughly distracting herself by looking over Poetry and Prose, taking her time, having left her glasses behind. From where Sunset sat, she saw that the pages looked blank, and she suspected that Twilight had used a spell to keep a certain mare from seeing what was within the book. Seeing Twilight read Clover's poetry made Sunset aware of how little they knew of Shadow Flare, and a thought came to mind, as she raised her voice to address the pegasus pulling the balloon.
“Hey, Shadow Blitz! What's Shadow Flare like?”
“Tch, it's annoying that she has part of my code name!” she quickly replied, then cleared her throat, “She was big. Bigger than Princess Luna. And her mane and tail were on fire.”
“They're on fire!?” Trixie replied wide-eyed.
“Yea, which is pretty awesome, I guess,” Blitz reluctantly admitted, “Also, her shadow, it's not normal! It attacked us! It can grab and throw things too! I mean, it was pretty slow, but, it was still weird!”
“So,” Sunset began, almost casually, “Just to reaffirm. We're dealing with a millennium old pony, bigger than Luna, stronger than Luna, who's also on fire, and has a shadow that can attack and grab things.”
“Yep!”
And she wants to talk to me!? Sunset thought in concern, then after several moments, abandoned that concern as a fire started to beat in her chest. Bring it on. Shadow Flare's picked a fight with the wrong ponies! Looking over her friends, Sunset's assurance redoubled as she cast her eyes to Canterlot. The castle now visible, Sunset couldn't help but adopt a smug smile, as they drifted towards their foe. Though, as they got closer, Sunset had a nagging feeling at the back of her head, like she was forgetting something important, and she hoped it was just her imagination, as she took in the city she was born and raised in.
5767143
And who are you entering a conversation that you've never posted in before and arn't even evolved in
Ohh so they know that the sixth elment is magic in this one, hm interesting choice, anyway I can't wait to see how they fare against shadow flare (by the way love the nursery rhymes they are awesome) so we got 4 possible elements of harmony, I wonder who the other 2 will be
An audience with the Sun herself? I hope you pick your words carefully, Sunset. Or else...
derpicdn.net/img/2014/11/6/759405/large.png
Question: Why did Luna not jut ask Twilight to come to Canterlot or a place closer to Canterlot? How did Shadow blitz know where sunset was when she sent by Shadow flare?
I kind of don't like that Trixie is this stupid. It was cute as a kid, but not remembering your teacher has a crazy sister is not really good.
5773925
There are places closer to Canterlot than Ponyville? Luna didn't want her students in Canterlot when she fought her sister, so sending Sunset away makes sense?
Or would you rather the story not have anything to do with Ponyville?
Shadow Blitz knew where Sunset was because of Shadow Flare. All Shadow Flare had to say was Ponyville, and Blitz could wing the rest. The library was where she ended up because she happens to be familiar with Twilight Sparkle for ... reasons.
In hindsight, that was a poor choice on my part. I'm so sorry about that.
5774047
Depending on how huge Canterlot is she could of had Sunset At the base of the mountain and fought sunset at the top Or she could have take Celestia out of the city.(and not risk civilians.) The real reason this bothers me is because you started this story in Canterlot had them go to Ponyville only to return to Canterlot. It seems like a giant waste of time having the go to ponyville especially since they left gaining nothing they couldn't have have had come to them.
Oh and I forgot to add this In my original questions, but why is rainbow listening to her? I mean This is like the whole canterlot thing It seems like she's just going in a circle. Rainbow dash fought Celestia with the other shadow bolts, only to then do an errand for her, to now once again fight Celestia (and die). Unless Rainbow is hypnotized, being blackmailed (via hostage) or evil it makes no sense why she would go instead of continuing to fight.
5774178 Shadow Flare: "You want to be banished with your princess? Then deliver my message."
Great
Woo! I LIKED this chapter The only thing about this fic that really bugs me is that Sunset Shimmer is the most powerful of the three students, though I can see why you decided that as it fits well with the directions you're taking the characters. I'm just a huge Twilight Sparkle fan But seriously, this is fun so far! I can't wait to see what you write next!
Shadow Flare? Not bad. It's not Daymare Sun, thank God. I hate that name. It sounds awful.
Rainbow Dash is a Shadowbolt? Interesting choice...how'd she make it in as opposed to Mane!Dash on Wonderbolts?
5775248 Hint!: It involves the race she didn't rainboom, and Fluttershy.
5775248 Sunlit Daydream? Who was possessed by creatures of ultimate passivity and kindness, that made her want to put all ponies into an eternal sleep, where they could dream of a happy, carefree world?
They are textually equals, but when it comes to combat well, Luna showed an utter disregard for Celestia not using any of her extensive array of magical abilities and just going for blasting....which is Celestia's entire tactical bag in combat outside "Delegate like mad".
5774047
Ponyville feels forced, so yes?
5775023
She's been stated and once she did get her magic back shown to be on an entire nother level of power from twilight.
Twilight has a bigger spell list.
Sunset has more power behind the spells she does know.
This reflects their character arcs as foils for each other.
Twilight desires knowledge, the pursuit of it is fundamental to her, and her failings come when she desires knowledge over wisdom.
Sunset desires power, the pursuit of it is fundamental to her, and her failings come when she desires power over wisdom.
Well no point mentioning that Trixie isn't stupid as somepony beat me to it. The few things we do know from the TV show is that she is actually smart and cunning. Which you have to be if your a trickster character.
You know it's optional but some writers let others read the story before posting. Most do this so that spelling and grammar errors are found and removed before the general public reads it. But some also do it so they won't conflict the general cannon. Or in this case personalities of the characters you use in an alternate universe.
Personally I would have made either Spike (whom could still be too young to remember when Luna's Students wrote that essay.) or Applejack (As mayor and friend of Twilight she could have tag along not knowing who Celestia is as the common ponies wouldn't know such things.) to be the one whom didn't knew about Celestia and ask about it. This way the information could been send to the readers without any character being made to look stupid. In the mlp universe only Snip, Snail and perhaps.... Derphy are considered to be stupid.
You can always decide to alter this chapter to safe the character. It's optional and your choice as writer. I know some have done this in the past because they weren't happy what they wrote. A known example is from RainbowDoubleDash story "At the Grand Galloping Gala"he chanced a few things because he wasn't happy about small things. So he altered the story a little bit mostly about interaction between characters but he left the main plot line the same. And I haven't said it yet but actually agreed with the chances he made.
That said I still enjoy the story so far. Though this is the 1st time I have seen Trixie been written as stupid what I considered a good fiction (a few bad ones or those whom actually drop intelligence of all the ponies are the only ones where I have read Trixie being stupid.) I still enjoy the pacing.
As for RD job one hand you actually surprised me on the other hand you didn't. What I mean is I didn't expected her to be a shadowbolt but on the other hand it isn't a real big chance from her desire to be a wonderbolt. Unlike Applejack being a mayor which was a huge chance in job occupation. I mean there is a significant difference between a farmer and mayor. Also Fluttershy job is too close to her main cannon show job but I can't see her not working with animals. This makes me wonder what the Rarity job will be? Are you going to surprise us or stick it too close to main cannon show version?
That said although this is by far your weakest chapter it's still way better then the average story you read on fimfiction. Pacing is really good though I would suggest you either try to bring either some humour or more tension in the story from the characters. Your 1st story had those both in small portions but I don't seem to find it here so far. I could point at the things I did like but I already mentioned those in my previous comments. Your writing is still as it is a hidden gem in the brony fim fiction.
Twilight's glasses allowing her to read and absorb information faster are like Levi from Fairy Tail, and Celestia being able to see everything the sunlight touches is like Aizen from Bleach.
I agree with lot of people on the Ponyville move, it's like, have no point, and it certainly make no sense for Twilight to accept to be in a country ville far away from any source of real knowledge and her friends. She could have stay in Canterlot and teach in Luna's school while Sunset isolate herself in the Castle (or with the guard to build her strenght)
But it's interesting to involve this three mares
5776346
I think it's still possible that one or more of the Elements might still be in Ponyville, and after reading this chapter, Dash still shows signs of having great Loyalty to Princess Luna... the prophesy throws a spanner in the works of her being that, though.
We've considered the possibility that Twilight, Trixie, and Sunset represent at least three of the Elements: Generosity, Laughter, and Loyalty, if we're correctly interpreting the prophesy. Luna is, at the moment, unable to wield the remaining three elements, whether they were once hers or not.
So there's a number of scenarios:
1) Rescue Luna, so so can wield her three elements, easy peasy, right?
2) Twilight, Trixie and Sunset might use two Elements apiece. How difficult could that be...?
3) The remaining Elements would be Honesty, Kindness, and Magic. Who have they met? Honest Applejack, Loyal Rainbow Dash, and they're likely to meet Dash's Kind friend Fluttershy. So... it's not perfectly aligned to the prophesy, but somepony would have to be Magic, so maybe Dash and Sunset swap? It would explain why Twilight was sent to Ponyville. Luna had three elements, but she needed three more.
Just waiting for them to burst out in song to solve a problem.
img2.wikia.nocookie.net/__cb20090815202655/alvin/images/5/5b/Chipettes-alvin-chipmunks.jpg
You can guess who's who
--Spade
i dont know but for me i think the combination is
sunset honesty magic
trixie laughter loyalty
twilight kindness generosity
i would like to see a variation of team harmony it is always six the only exception is one where there is a seventh element
Nice edits! This story is fun I know someone else will (eventually) say it if I don't, so I'll mention it since so many reviewers do--be careful how many different phrases you use to replace "he/she said." You tend to use a lot of different ones, from what I've noticed. I don't know why it's such a BIG deal, but they are more noticeable than just "she said" which tends to fade into the background and not even be noticed.
Great
What is chrysalis doing now? I mean she is an ally of Luna right so what is she doing surely she is enough of a power house that Luna would consider drafting her. (Damn it man this is the fifth time I've read this chapter.)
5778781 Hibernating for the winter. (changelings don't handle the cold very well)
5778059
No, the EoM has been cracked into three pieces, and they represent a part of it each. All the rest of the EoH are normal as far as we know. But, uh, with some major twists as so far seen.
To all the whiners who didn't like how Trixie was previously portrayed, I for one didn't have a problem with it. In fact that one big change regarding how Trixie didn't know who Celestia was resulting in Twilight admonishing her for it, I didn't really appreciate the fact it was removed.
Now MrAlterad, I know you didn't want Trixie to be portrayed as dumb but I didn't see that earlier; Trixie I thought was portrayed well, and I thought it was funny how Twilight admonished Trixie. I mean come on, Trixie is a showoff and having her as a goof is valid especially with this trio of friends. She can be the character trope for Ditzy Genius (click the link for an explanation) who can liven up the atmosphere, but it also doesn't mean she cannot pull her weight in dire situations. She's a Disciple of the Moon after all, and I assume Twilight and Sunset trust Trixie immensely. I can even argue the author is in danger in creating a Mary Sue trio because of this criticism.
I did enjoy the other changes though: the conversation upon Luna sending the Disciples to Ponyville, what happened to the guard, and Sunset's conversation with Applejack. This chapter was indeed better.
Here are a couple of corrections needed:
Due to the to Trixie, Sunset is only addressing Spike here.
Last thing, regarding the conversation of Luna's reason to send the Disciples to Ponyville, while the conservation is well presented and I enjoyed it, I still have to criticize it because this addition actually removed a profound effect upon the revelation of the many secret passages later on. Fortunately I know a way to remedy this keeping both the effect and the conversation. That is if you want my help of course.
5780276 I'm always open to suggestions!
5780348 Here's my suggestion. Do a cut and paste of the following:
And place it after this paragraph:
You might need to do a bit or rewording in order to flow. I suggest:
Also this sentence:
What do you think?
5780379 I think I know what I'm doing when I get home!
I really enjoying this story hope to read more soon
...Why do I tend to fall behind with reading the stories I enjoy...
Anyway great chapter, and I loved the picture you used for Shadow Flare. (Love the name too)
Seems appropriate for the current situation
A word of advice when writing poetry. It is much more important to pay attention to meter than rhyme.
A poem with a consistent meter does not even need to rhyme, and if it does, the rhyme will serve as a little grace note to highlight the rhythm.
A poem without a consistent meter sounds choppy and disjointed, and the rhyme serves only to emphasize this.
Eyes blinded by spite (long long short short long)
the lonely sun couldn't know (short long short long long short long)
that from its light (short long short long)
a shadow did grow (short long short short long)
No pattern to this at all. Just for grins and giggles, let's rewrite this with a simple pattern. We'll use iambic tetrameter. An iamb is an unstressed syllable followed by a stressed syllable (short long). Tetrameter means there are four of them per line. Iambic meters come very naturally in English - Shakespeare wrote entire plays in iambic pentameter.
With eyes that had been blinded by spite (short long short long short long short short long)
The lonely sun could never know (short long short long short long short long)
That from the brilliance of its light (short long short long short long short long)
An ominous shadow did grow (short long short long long short short long)
All I've done here is insert some filler words to pad each line to a consistent length, with a mostly consistent rhythm. The meter does not have to be too precise - you can see I've taken a few liberties, adding that extra syllable in line one and reversing the order of one foot on the fourth line (both to preserve some of the original wording). Plus the stress at the end of 'ominous' is a little weak.
This works for writing dialog for Zecora, also.
Even though I really wanted too
Though, it's heat would pose less of a problem
Princess Luna could use our aide!
which lead to Luna needing to raise and lower
was closer to a prophecy then the other
1. To.
2. Its.
3. Aid. Aide is more like an assistant. Unless the meaning changed when I wasn't looking.
4. Led.
5. Than.
Edit: Forgot to add theory craft here. Why Solar Flare wants to talk to Sunset? Because she sees herself in her. That or she somehow transplanted part of her soul into her, could explain why Sunset could look at the sun so easily.
Oops, I didn't catch that the prophecies were coming from the Clover book. Not the first time I've seen her cast as prophet, but it's an interesting role for her. Shadow Flare, on the other hand, is completely new.
Mad scientist Twilight is a go!
Oooo, neat, I knew Twilight's glasses were going to have some fun abilities, makes sense they'd be reading oriented.
It's interesting that some of the girls know about Celestia and the Elements. It makes sense that they might, Luna hasn't been completely secretive about things, unlike how it seems Celestia operated in canon.
Oh lordy, Sunset, don't try and have a fight with Shadow Flare over control over the sun, it may well just end fatally.
Shadow Blitz! What a great explanation for no rainboom in this universe. No Celestia means no EUP to develop into the Wonderbolts, which means Dash's life would go rather differently with a completely different set of 'Bolts to aspire to join. I was wondering if we were going to go the crippled Dash, dead Dash, etc. sort of route, but this is much more creative and fun.
On a different note, I can't help but think that going to the castle to find the Elements is the worst possible plan. Luna sent them away, that probably means what they need to find is somewhere else.
Focus Sunset, save the world today, date tomorrow.
What could possibly go wrong?
I have a feeling that Sunset is forgetting that Shadow Flare used to live in that castle as well. I'm sure she knows about the secret passages as well.
Oh hell.
That's what I think of when I see that picture. Oh hell.
6011512 wasn't canterlot made after she was banished.
also from the poem I think means
Twilight is generosity, Sunset is loyalty, Trixie is laughter, Applejack is honesty, someone possibly fluttershy is kindness And they're going to lose and it'll be up to applejack and kindness to bring them back.
I think
Rainbow made Shadowbolt, eh? And managed to overcast the sky to stall Shadow Flare. Nice.
What?
Sounds like dark counterparts of Spitfire, Soarin' and Fleetfoot.
That's the gist of it, yes.
The sun is technically on fire all the time...
Characters affirming things to themselves has been added to the short list of "Reasons I Will Explode"
I guess my call for "And here we go" last chapter was a little premature. I think, though, it's right on the money this time around.
I still think Sinister Sunnyflanks is cooler.
Will Celestia try to drag Sunset over to the dark side?
'Shadow Flare' huh? That's a pretty good name for an evil Celestia. I would've gone with Nightmare Noon, but whatever floats your boat.
Shadow Flare
Solar Flare
Eh, either works.
This is certainly getting Trixie, with the question being, will the Sunset and the day come to Twilight? Or will our heros fail?
Find out next time on
Dragon Ball ZMidnight's Radiance!5773796
Its involved
so the lack of a Sonic rainbow
brought souls consquences to rainbown dash, pinkie pie and rarity
So annoying your trademark marks
or the element of laughter, hides behind a mask of false happiness
the element of generosity, is not very generous or something
and the element of honesty is sad and tired?
if I was wrong I could talk, but that's what I understood from the poem / prophecy
Oh, crapbaskets! I theorized this in Luna's Protege. But what if Celestia can see through Sunset? Sunlight may be considered both literal and metaphorical.
That's totally Rainbow Dash. Unless Rainbow has a twin sister. Take of the goggles and let's see the eye color.
My theory is that the Shadowbolts use codenames in order to keep their identities secret from the public, and perhaps secret from each other. Darkfire, Shade Soar, Specterhoof, and Shadow Blitz? All of their names share two common themes. The first is that each name is related to darkness in some way. The second is that they sound suspiciously similar to Spitfire Soarin, Fleetfoot, and Rainbow Dash.
Sunset is good at making friends. She's just not good at doing it intentionally.
Called it!