The afternoon passes quickly as Twilight and Co. insist on showing me all of Ponyville--well, they can't show me anything, but I know what they mean. I meet a ton of ponies whose names I can't remember, smell and taste a ton of things I wish I could see. It's not a bad time, I have to admit. And if nothing else, it shows me one thing: Twi and her friends are seriously tight. They don't just enjoy each other's company, they're also a team. The boys back at Douglass High are very well coached, if I say so myself--but if they were as close as this bunch, we'd have won a state championship by now.
Our late lunch is definitely the highlight. We stop at the market square, the kind of place I didn't have back home, and I swear I never ate fruit or vegetables that tasted so good. Maybe being a pony has something to do with it, maybe not, but I'm learning not to sweat the difference.
"Wow," I sigh after finishing the last carrot. "I tell ya, if my ex made vegetables like this I would've made it home every night."
There it is again, that "everypony is staring at me" feeling.
"What?" I protest.
"Nothing, dear," Rarity sounds like she just swallowed something whole. "Nothing at all."
"Look, I told you guys I'm not really a girl or an underage pony. We've established this, right?"
"Just give 'em a little more time, Jay," Rainbow chuckles. Even she sounds a bit uncomfortable.
"Besides, don't tell me that none of you are married."
Silence. A few coughs here and there.
I raise an eyebrow. "Dating?"
An embarrassed squeak from Fluttershy's direction. A shuffling of hooves.
"None of you?" I ask incredulously. Nothing bugs me like young people who overuse the word "awkward" and act like they're entitled to be totally comfortable 24/7, but this really is awkward.
"W-well, I do see the odd gentlecolt here and there, but not at the moment," Rarity finally speaks up.
Everypony else quickly chimes in with reasons. "Too busy flying. You know how it is." "I'm too busy flyin' too. I mean, um, workin'." "How can you have a party with just two ponies? Bo-ring!" "Squeak..."
"Twilight?" I turn to her.
"It's complicated, Jay."
"What kind of complicated? You don't mean you guys are, like..." I touch my front hooves together.
"No, no!! N-not that!" Twilight says in a shrill voice. Damn, I can practically hear them all blushing. "I mean, we just haven't met the right stallions yet. I'm sure, when we're ready..."
"Fair enough. I guess it's none of my business," I glance down. "Can't say you're missing very much."
Rarity is beginning to seem interested. "Why do you say that?"
Best not to bother them with the details of my lovelife. What are they going to do, offer advice?
“…Never mind, it’s not important. Isn’t it almost time to meet the princesses?”
Twilight sounds mortified. “Oh, no!”
“Good thinking, kid. How could you tell?” That’s Rainbow.
“Easy. The sun isn’t as warm as it was and I hear less ponies out on the streets. And since you said there would be no clouds today, let alone storms…”
“Point taken. Okay Twi, just relax. Let’s find that fancy hot air balloon of yours and get going.”
Twilight is not relaxing. “The balloon?! Oh no oh no oh no…where is it? Where did I leave it? Where did—oh. I remember!”
“Twilight. Don’t--”
Buzz. SIZZLE. Plop.
My nerves are screaming, my head is spinning a mile a minute, and the ground under my hooves suddenly feels different. That…was not fun.
I think I’m going to be sick.
Update: I am now being sick.
“Twilight, how could you? You know she isn’t used to teleporting!” Rarity protests amid similar remarks from the others.
"I...I just wasn't…well, I panicked," she says lamely.
Fluttershy touches my shoulder. “You poor thing! Are you going to be all right?”
“Sure, no sweat,” I rasp. I raise a front leg in an attempt to wave it off. Unfortunately, I lose my balance and almost fall into my own mess. Fluttershy catches me just in time. “Digestive fluids, yes, but no sweat. Thanks.”
“Are you sure? I can take you straight back to the library if you want. I know Princess Celestia would understand…”
I burst into a coughing fit and take a moment to recover. Is a teleportation spell that uncomfortable or was Snowdrop just really delicate? Could be both. “No. I want to talk to the princesses and get this meeting over with. Anyone got a mint or something?”
Rarity obliges. It’s a mint leaf, but it’s better than nothing. I brush off any further questions about my health as we climb into the basket. Twilight activates something with her magic and it begins to rise. I feel a familiar stab of envy as all the other ponies exclaim over the great view. The swaying of the balloon doesn’t make my stomach feel any better, either. Better to get my mind off it. I take a moment to chat with someone, anyone.
“Who’s there?” I ask the pony next to me in a low voice.
“It's me, sugarcube.”
"So Applejack...it really doesn't bother you that I look just like Snowdrop?"
She's more than willing to talk. "Course not. Why should it?"
"Well, everypony I've met since I got here felt some way about it. Except for you, that is."
"Heck, appearances ain't everything. When I was a little filly and my family got together, they were always mistakin' me for Caramel Apple, Apple Cobbler, Gala Appleby and all my other cousins and it drove me plumb crazy. Truth be told, it was one of the reasons I went to stay with my relatives in the Orange family for a while. Nopony mistook me for another Apple in Manehattan."
Twilight jumps in. "And now you're one of the Elements of Harmony! I bet they all remember you now."
"Don't ask me," Rainbow Dash says confidently. "I would've been famous anyway."
"The most famous public nuisance in Ponyville, maybe," Applejack grumbles.
"Hey, don't start with me, A.J. I'm already gonna beat you at the Running of the Leaves tomorrow. Chill out and I won't make it too embarrassing for you."
Applejack takes the bait. "You couldn't beat me this year if I was pullin' a plow the whole way."
"Oh yeah? Well, I think you better stick to plowing and apple farming, 'cause racing is my world. That's why you've never beat me."
"You can't go all that fast with a swelled head, Rainbow, and that's why you never beat me either!"
"Jay, buddy, you coached other humans in your world, right? Well, do me a favor and coach Applejack there at the race tomorrow. She needs all the help she can get."
"Never you mind that, Jay. Why doncha tell Dash here how much energy she would save if she just stopped yappin' so much?"
I grin. "You know, she might have a point, Rainbow."
"What? Hey, whose side are you on?!"
"Aw, simmer down, sugarcube. You can’t blame her for backin’ the best pony."
Twilight lets out an exasperated moan. “Girls, that’s enough! I’m trying to concentrate on steering this balloon! Our meeting is at sundown, and that’s going to happen any minute. The princesses will be wondering what happened to us.”
“Look on the bright side, Twi,” I say as AJ and Dash’s argument echoes through the sky. “At least they’ll hear us coming.”
------------------------------------------------------------------------
“So,” says Princess Celestia.
“So.”
She clears her throat. Neither one of us has a clue what to say, because neither one knows what the hell they’re looking at. I see darkness where there’s supposed to be the most powerful pony in Equestria. She sees a famous friend of her sister’s whose body has been regenerated and occupied by a foul-mouthed pod person. I’m not sure we’re going to get along.
“My sister tells me you are not from this world,” she sounds slightly troubled and amused at the same time. There’s a lot of laughter in her voice, but it’s not contagious like Pinkie’s. Celestia’s voice laughs only to herself, and it puts me on edge. For all I know she could be making faces at me this whole time. “Despite resembling a very conspicuous pony from its history.”
“Not by choice, but yeah. Um, yes, Your Highness.”
“Then there is one question I must ask you.”
“Go ahead.” I shrug. A pony with an aura this intense can ask me anything she likes. And by “aura” I don’t mean that wacky new-age stuff they talk about in my world, I mean something I can feel in my bones. The same thing I felt from Luna, even though that was a dream.
“What is your favorite kind of candy?”
Not “what is your true form,” not “what are people like in your world,” not “are you a ghoul possessing my sister’s friend's body”. Sweets. I shouldn’t be surprised, really.
“Gummy worms.”
“The real Snowdrop preferred cherry sours. Even though she hated when chewy things got stuck in her teeth,” Celestia sighs. “You truly are different from her.”
Damn. I didn’t even think about that. Is there something stuck in my teeth right now? I’d better watch what I eat in the future. “I’m glad we cleared that up, Your Majesty.”
I doubt the Princess herself cares about formalities, but Twilight will probably have a heart attack if I don’t use them. It’s already obvious that she worships this pony.
Bad news, in my opinion. Celestia’s too tough to read. Never attach yourself to someone if you don’t really know who they are. I’m glad to be going with Luna instead. She’s old-fashioned and kind of crazy, but she feels more…human, if that makes any sense.
“I must admit that even I was not aware of Snowdrop and Starswirl’s plans. Snowdrop was always closer with Luna, and Starswirl was…not close with anypony in particular, except for Scorpan. Although I had misgivings at first, I have received reports of very turbulent atmospheric activity from Cloudsdale, and I am satisfied that it is no coincidence.”
So far, so good.
“The things my sister sees when entering other ponies’ dreams are no coincidence, either. Therefore, I have decided to allow her to escort you to the ruins of our old castle and into the observatory. The way there will be very dangerous, particularly because you must travel through the Everfree Forest. Even with Luna as your guide, you may need additional help. Twilight Sparkle?”
“Y-yes, Princess!” Twilight pipes up behind me, always eager to please.
“You and your friends shall accompany them as well. As I’m sure you’ve heard, Mister Jay, we have had our run-ins with changelings as of late. We cannot be too careful. And, at any rate, I think you will be grateful for their company.”
Finally, somepony besides Rainbow and Spike who believes I’m a guy. I chuckle. “Yeah, Luna can be kind of…uh…”
“Yes?” The crazier princess says with intense interest.
Shit! I didn’t think she was still in the room! “Er…awesome?”
To my relief, Celestia plays along. “Yes, her…’awesomeness’ is quite well known.”
“Sister!” Luna protests.
“However, keeping in mind that she is the one you are to travel with, I shall leave all the arrangements to her.”
“I thank thee, dear sister,” Luna softens. Then she turns to me. “We shall depart the day after the Running of the Leaves. In the meantime, thy impertinence in the presence of royalty hath convinced Us that thee requires a more…basic education in Equestrian culture.”
She chuckles ominously. Celestia joins in.
I've got a bad feeling about this.
------------------------------------------------------------------------
“Look, I already told everyone, I’m not a real filly! I don’t need to go to school all over again!”
“This is not elementary education, Miss Jay,” Cheerilee replies. “You certainly look like a schoolfilly to me, but if the princesses are convinced that you are in fact a 37-year-old alien, that’s good enough for me.”
“Then what the he…hay am I doing in school with THEM?!” I jab my hoof in the direction of three actual fillies who have been driving me insane since I walked in the door. All they could talk about was getting their cutie marks, a concept I still haven’t wrapped my head around.
Scootaloo snickers. “Maybe you’re not as smart as you think you are.”
“Maybe Miss Cheerilee’s gonna wash your mouth out with soap like Granny Smith does!” Apple Bloom huffs.
“Maybe you’re going to teach us how to style our manes just like you!” Sweetie Belle squeaks. There’s a brief silence, like both of her friends are staring at her. “What? I really like her mane.”
Cheerilee clears her throat loudly. “Jay, you are here because no matter how much you may have learned in this ‘other world’, you know almost nothing of pony history, social studies, or hoof-reading--three fields that will be vital to your life here in Equestria. Other subjects can wait for now, but at least--”
“Hey Miss Cheerilee,” Scootaloo interrupts again. “I’m even better than her! I’m, like, a 47-year-old alien. Can I skip half my subjects, too?”
“I’m 99!” Apple Bloom adds. “Can I skip a grade?”
“I’m older than both of them put together!” Sweetie says cheerfully. "Can I go now?"
“Ponies don’t get that old, Sweetie Belle,” Scootaloo scoffs.
“I am! I’m…uh…a super-intelligent robot! I was programmed with all the knowledge in Equestria!”
I’ve heard of facedesking, but I never thought I’d do it literally. THUNK.
The teacher takes control. “Please, Sweetie, not that story again. And as for you three, you are not in class either. You are staying after because you chose to disobey my no-spitballs-allowed rule. I’m told it will take all night for Diamond Tiara to wash those out of her tail.”
“She deserves it,” Apple Bloom mutters.
“Deserves it? In your view, perhaps she does,” Cheerilee intones. “But many ponies who go dry deserve spitballs, and many who get spitballed deserve to be dry. Can you give that to them, Apple Bloom?”
She sighs. “No...”
“Then do not be too eager to deal out spittle in judgment, for even the very wise cannot see all ends. Now sit quietly.”
Grumbles from the three brats. I snicker.
“Now then, Jay, it is time to begin our first lesson about pony history. Page one of sixty…” I hear the creak of Cheerilee opening a depressingly large book. She recites: “Nopony knoweth exactly when ponykind first dideth arrive to ponify the land of Equestria, but the first records of ponyism existeth from the era of the Great Gallop, in which ponies migrateth to the southwestern part of the continent via magical pony land bridge. The three distinct species of pony already existedeth at this time, and their true origin is also a pony mystery. Earth ponies worketh the land, unicorn ponies exploreth the ether, and pegasus ponies gotteth tired of both of them and escaped to the air because flying was really awesome. In time --”
I raise my hoof. “Look, teacher lady, I know I have to take your word for it, but is this a real official textbook? Because it sounds absolutely ridiculous.”
“Now that you mention it, this is a specialized volume prepared for you by Princess Luna. If I may continue…”
My face hits the desk again. Oh, Luna, I am going to get you for this.
“…Pony pony pony eth eth pony pony eth pony pony pony eth pony eth pony…”
The fillies are laughing their heads off. Is that what she’s actually saying or is it just all I’m hearing? Whatever. I don’t care, I can’t take any more of it. “Cheerilee, as much I really appreciate Princess Luna’s generosity, I don’t think this is gonna work. I need to get back to the library and sleep, and I’ll be gone from Ponyville in two days. If you expect me to learn anything in that time, you're better off getting me a tutor or something so we can cover the basics.”
Cheerilee sounds a bit relieved as she shuts the book. “Perhaps that would be best. I’ll arrange an appointment for you with our best student after the festivities tomorrow evening.”
I hear the cutie mark demons laughing again.
“No way!”
“She’s doomed.”
“So glad I’m not her.”
Screw them. Whoever the biggest egghead in class is, they can’t be as bad as this, right?
------------------------------------------------------------------------
“Hurry,” I groan.
“Yeah, yeah, I’m hurrying,” Spike says irritably. I hear him fumbling with the pack. I’m too tired to open the damn thing right now, but maybe I should’ve tried anyway. He’s taking forever.
Finally I feel the telltale flash of heat, and he hands me a cigarette. The first drag feels like Christmas.
“There, ya happy?”
“Yes.”
“I don’t know what’s so great about these things,” Spike says.
I ignore him and breathe out slowly. Might as well enjoy them while I can. I imagine this tree and all of Ponyville being covered in snow. Snow everywhere, piling up so thick that earth ponies can’t shovel it, blowing so hard that pegasi can’t fly through it, and storms so volatile that unicorns can’t figure out how to stop them. It could be a reality soon enough.
Some of the smoke goes right into my face, and I wince. Why would it be going toward me? There’s no wind out here.
I turn to my right. “…SPIKE! What the hell are you doing?!”
“Trying out one of your medicine sticks,” he says carelessly. “Doesn’t taste like anything, though.”
“Give me that! Get rid of it! Stop! Humans only!”
“What’s the big deal? You can get more.”
I jump up and down in panic. “No, I can’t!”
“Okay! Fine.” He decides to get rid of it. Foomp. That felt like one big jet of fire.
I slowly relax, but chills are still crawling up my spine. “Don’t ever do that again, all right? They don’t have this kind of, uh, medicine in Equestria. When it’s gone, it’s gone. Plus, it’s pure smoke.”
He sounds unconcerned as he hands me the pack. “I’m a dragon, Jay. What I can’t figure out is how it helps you.”
“It’s complicated. Just don’t tell anyone about it. They’ll ask too many questions,” I secure the pack in my mane. My ears prick up. “Hey, what’s that noise? Sounds like Twilight crumpling paper.”
“Nah, she’s in bed,” Spike pauses a moment, then gasps. “GYAAAAAH!”
“What?!”
“Fire! The balcony! It’s on fire!”
“You idiot!” My wings flap instinctively, driving me back from the growing heat. “Put it out, quick!”
“How?! I can’t blow water!”
“Twilight! WHERE’S TWILIGHT?” Something blows right by my head as I yell this, something else with feathers. A bird?
“Go get her, Owloysius!” Spike yells. His claws grab at my hoof. “Spit it out. Hurry!”
With a sinking heart, I throw my unfinished cigarette into the roaring flames. What a great day this turned out to be.
Twilight teleports right in next to us with a sizzle and a plop. “Spike! Jay! Are you all right? Stand back.”
Something sharp and scaly bounces on top of me. Spike, either in terror or excitement, has jumped right on my back. I retreat against the wall, stumbling on too many damn legs as the alcove vibrates with magical energy. I don’t know what kind of spell can put out a fire, but I’m glad Twilight knows it. Chalk it up as one more thing I wish I could see.
The hum of the magic grows, slowly drowning out the crackle of the flames until I don’t hear them anymore. The heat is gone, too.
Finally Twilight stops. “What the heck were you two doing up here?” She’s out of breath and very upset.
I gulp. "Um…"
“Um…” Spike echoes just above me.
“Well?”
I can feel her eyes on me. What do I do? The cigarettes didn’t start the fire, but they were a factor. I take a deep breath, ready to confess everything.
“It…it was my fault, Twilight.”
I close my mouth. Spike just beat me to it.
“We were out here talking, and…uh…” he trails off, sounding nervous as hell. His claws are digging into my sides. He doesn’t want to lie to her.
I take over. “It was really me, Twi. You see, no animal can breathe fire where I come from, and I told Spike I didn’t believe he could either. He said he could, so I dared him, and...”
“I guess I overdid it.” Spike finishes.
One long, angry lecture later, Twilight goes back to bed while Spike and I have to mop up the scorched balcony floor. We work for a while without saying anything. Spike is probably having an easier time of it; I have to grip my mop with my teeth.
“Guess that’s about it,” Spike mumbles at length.
I drop my mop back into the bucket. “You know, you didn’t have to help me out back there.”
“I know.”
“Why did you?”
“’Cause if Twilight found out about…whatever those things are, she’d be mad at me for not telling her sooner?” Spike says uncertainly.
I give him a tired look. “Come on. I wasn’t born yesterday.”
“No reason! You just talk to me, that’s all.”
“Of course I talk to you. What else would I do, use telepathy? Burp a letter at you?”
“You’re really dense, you know that, Jay?” he snaps. “I mean, you TALK to me. Like I’m a real person and everything, instead of just the baby dragon who can’t do anything right. Twilight’s the only one who ever talks to me that way. And Pinkie Pie, sometimes.”
I clear my throat, feeling embarrassed. “Oh. Um…what about Rarity?”
“She’s just humoring me,” he says glumly. “No matter how many nice things I do for her, it’s always the same. I mean, I’d still rather be around her than do anything else, but…you know.”
I nod. “I see. Well…thanks.”
“Jay? You’ve been around a while, right? How do you get mares to like you?”
“You mean, women?” I shake my head slowly. “You can’t, Spike. In my experience, they either like you or they don’t.”
“Well, if they do like you, what do you do?”
I pause for a long moment to think of Beth. She was always hard to figure out. Hard to keep track of, too; she was out of the house so often. In the garden, at the store, having lunch with her friends from work. She drifted in and out so fast, sometimes all I saw was that long brown hair trailing behind her as she swept out of the room. I liked that hair. She never did cut it, even though she threatened to every time we had an argument. Which, later on, was a lot.
My mind drifts back to Spike, whose claws skritch and scratch on the floor as he waits for an answer.
“Don’t take them for granted,” I say.
Since I do not smoke how many are in a pack? So how long until the girls find out about his habit and how will they react, because they may have already picked up the smell.
It would be funny if his tutor is Twist.
Good story.
5837347 I'm not a smoker myself but I THINK it's 20
Oooh, now that's an obscure reference. I wonder how many people will catch it.
5837347 20 in the US.25 in Canada.I don't smoke either,I just use google.
Luna is a massive troll.
Loved the update. I cannot wait for more! I wonder though, what would happen if Luna and Snowdrop(jay) spent a day together or something. Maybe with Luna "showing" Snowdrop around Canterlot or something. Or maybe her Requesting She (Snowdrop/Jay) stay at the palace the night before the journey is to begin Id really love to see some Snowdrop/Luna warm and fuzzy moment
It's 2015 and people still spell Owlowiscious' name like that?
:)
Oh wow.
This chapter is actually good.
I'm like stunned. The other chapters were sorta cracky nonsense fun. But this chapter actually made me have an emotion or two.
I really liked that Spike part and the chapter's ending.
Hm. I am genuinely curious about your next update. I get this feeling that you might put a little more effort and heart.
Thank you.
PS:
Now that's humor!! :)
new chapter = aww yiss
Stuff I loved about this chapter were:
-The complicated conversation with the mane six and Jay about being married and stuff.
-Celestia finding out that the Snowdrop that she is seeing is not the real one based on the candy flavor. (How does she do that?)
-Celestia and Luna's plan for educating Jay about the Equestrian history, and Luna's version of the history.
-The CMC trying to skip school by pretending to be another being inside a pony body. (This was my favorite part.)
I wonder who the mystery tutor is, though? I'm definitely loving this story.
5837474 I'm probably the only one. But why make the spelling more complicated when the human version has always been spelled "Aloysius"? Why not just put "Owl" on the front of it? That's what I think, anyway.
5837424 Indeed.
5837424
Anyone who saw the movie, I'm guessing.
5837347
Ex-smoker - 20 in the US. 20 class A cigarettes, Marlboro ... mmmmm, fuck making me want another cig man.
5837474 Nice new avatar JBL. I couldn't stop laughing for like 5 minutes.
A small note: as the cartoon showed many times, the balloon actually belongs to Cherry Berry (why is a mare with a cherry cutie mark nuts about flying - she also owns one of Ponyville's only two helicopters, the other being Pinkie's candycopter - I'll never know). Twilight and Pinkie simply borrow it when they need it.
Also, Scootaloo is wrong... Granny Smith has long surpassed the century of age.
That said, the story is awesome. Keep going.
Silver Spoon? Also, rooting for Applejack. G'night!
5837631 Beat me to it, first thing I thought of too
I see what you did there.
As usual a great chapter. I really like the flow and I have to say the way you write the character, especially him not even being able to see, is marvelously done.
Also can't way to see what happens when he runs out of cig's.
5837474
5838067
Owlowiscious was used by Lauren Faust (on DeviantArt), Jayson Thiessen (on Twitter), and on the Owlowiscious trading card (where it's trademarked).
Owlicious was used by Cathy Weseluck (on Twitter)
Owloysius was used by Hasbro (on YouTube and Facebook) and on the Golden Oaks Library trading card. Lauren Faust also said that his name should have been Owloysius.
5837370
so I guess you could say it would be a surprise... twist?
good advice... also SWEETIE BOT CONFIRMED! lol
Luna arranging education for the alien. Okay then.
True words. True words...
5841561
5838107
But I don't like either, cucumbers too....
5841561 Damn straight. Pickles FTW! Especially the small kind you can eat in a few bites.
5838300
Scootaloo is not wrong.
47 + 99 = 146
Sweetie said she was older then that.
Now while Granny Smith is a fanon highlander (look up Silver Quill Granny Smith Highlander) normal ponies don't live over 150 years.
Celestia, Luna and Sombra are excluded.
I find this story is really coming into its own at this point. Good job man.
I hope to sometime see if they can cure that pesky blindness of his.
5842200 I feel like that'd ruin the entire point of being Snowdrop.
Ponies can be quite rude, can't they?
So hilarious. I like this Luna.
Well technically he was, as Snowdrop.
I'm really enjoying this. The dating conversation, the CMC commentary, as well the 'special' textbook prepared by Luna were hilarious. Also nice bonding time between Spike and Jay. Spike's such an underused character, but to Jay he'd be exactly the same as anyone else since he can't tell the difference, save for the fire breath.
I am going to die. I am going to die because you made me choke to death from laughing so hard and it will be your fault.
5837631
DAMN! You beat me to it. So I'll post Ferexes' version.
That book made me crack up XD
There was just a bunch of random 'eth's in it XD
5837347
I doubt there is such a thing as smoking tobacco, amongst any species in Equestria (out-universe, Hasbro would never allow it even mentioned). So even if Twilight catches Jay smoking, she wouldn't know what to think of it. Jay can tell her any ridiculous lie he wants and he can't be disproven - he's an alien.
Modern English, Luna Stop being so OOC
5855778 I think Snowdrops (jays) point though is she doesn't WANT the equestrian ponys to know about it in anyway shape of form. even if in the form of a lie. This way Equestria doesn't develop said smoking tobacco in some way shape or form
Next update is coming soon! I think Chapter VIII will be the last before the journey begins, so enjoy that slice-of-lifeyness.
5879859 I eagerly await said update!
bruh. bruh
I enjoy the cig count. He's gonna get really really stressed when it hits single digits.
My two favorite types of candy.
5838067 I use "Owloysius" as well, since it better matches the philosopher the name was likely based on, Aloysius Lilius. It's a similar reason to why I prefer "Cadence" instead of "Cadance" despite seeing it more often—"Cadance" and "Owlowiscious" just feels like they don't want to own up to their spelling error.
It's like an idealistic idiot is trying to give out advice, but failing epically due to faulty metaphors and general human nature.
Iam male you fuck bitch!
Which impertinence?
Anyone got a mint or something?”
Rarity obliges. It’s a mint leaf,
Yuck!
Gummy worms
I know this is a bear not a worm but I found the worm version disturbing...
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=bURfoLmtrLU
Finally, somepony besides Rainbow and Spike who believes I’m a guy. I chuckle. “Yeah, Luna can be kind of…uh…”
“Yes?” The crazier princess says with intense interest.
Shit! I didn’t think she was still in the room! “Er…awesome?”
To my relief, Celestia plays along. “Yes, her…’awesomeness’ is quite well known.”
Everything is awesome 0:02
“But many ponies who go dry deserve spitballs, and many who get spitballed deserve to be dry. Can you give that to them, Apple Bloom?”
Dry?
Earth ponies worketh the land, unicorn ponies exploreth the ether, and pegasus ponies gotteth tired of both of them and escaped to the air because flying was really awesome.
I know how pegasi came to be in the story of quick wite.
Heres the story.
I imagine this tree and all of Ponyville being covered in snow. Snow everywhere, piling up so thick that earth ponies can’t shovel it, blowing so hard that pegasi can’t fly through it, and storms so volatile that unicorns can’t figure out how to stop them. It could be a reality soon enough.
Sounds like the windigo storm
Jay's Cigarette Count: 11
That just made me think of this 0:58
Now that is a good reference. Made my day.
5837424
"OBSCURE"?! What? Dude, I know that speech- and several others from both Tolkien and Lewis' works -by memory. References to works from people who have been best-selling authors for decades cannot be 'obscure'.