So this is the princess Rainbow told me about. The one who was closer to Snowdrop than anyone.
Does she know? I can’t tell. Her eyes are cold, her face tight with anger, and I brace myself for the worst. She takes something out from her long, flowing mane, a shining sphere that crackles in her hoof. A weapon? A spell? I hold up my hands to show that I’m not a threat, but it doesn’t help the fact that I’m a six-foot-four, 270-pound alien!
But instead of attacking me, she slowly brings the object up to her mouth and takes a bite out of it. The hell? I squint through the dark to see it better.
It’s a freaking apple. Decorated with rainbow stripes, but still just an apple.
“Excuse Us,” she says smugly. “We had to observe thy reaction.”
It takes me a moment to find my voice. “Are you serious? You just scared the hell out of me for fun?!”
“We had to test thee!” Luna pouts, taking another bite. “A Changeling surely would have revealed itself and attacked Us by now.”
Those things again! I glare. “Sorry to disappoint you. I don’t even know what a Changeling is.”
“Then thou art fortunate. Nasty little creatures they are, able to assume the form of anything they see and feed on the love and energy of true ponies to sustain themselves. The creatures and their queen invaded Our royal city of Canterlot not a fortnight ago, and their threat still remains.” Luna finishes the apple, core and all.
“Look, that’s very interesting, but--”
“So,” she interrupts, still calm but with a dangerous edge in her voice, “The question is, what sort of shape-changer are thee, that tells other ponies freely of thy true nature…and takes the form of one nine centuries gone?”
Oh, shit.
"So you know about that."
"The letter Our sister received this evening was most explicit. It was she who sent Us here. Now for the last time We ask thee, stranger," Luna's eyes begin to glow ominously. "How dare thee take the form of Our departed and dearest friend?"
The fact that this is a dream saves me the embarrassment of wetting my pants. It's not easy, but I force myself to meet her gaze.
“I don’t dare, Princess. I didn’t choose to be this Snowdrop. I don’t even know how I got here, and I’d just as soon get out of your hair and go home. The only problem is I don’t know how, or if I’m even still alive on the other side.”
“Then thou art a visitor from another realm, the likes of Tirek and Scorpan? We give thee fair warning: Equestria is no dimensional playground.”
“I get that,” I fold my arms. “And I don’t like my soul being toyed with, either. I woke up in Snowdrop’s body. When this dream is over, I’ll probably wake up in her body again. And I don’t know why or what the hell I’m supposed to do about it.”
“I do,” says a third voice. It is weak, and faint, and so impossibly sweet and sympathetic that listening to it is like having one's head dunked in powdered sugar. Of course, we both recognize it instantly.
Luna’s mouth drops open. We turn in unison towards the mirror on Beth's wardrobe, and through the glass there is a much smaller pony with a light blue coat, a white mane with blue stripes, and blank unseeing eyes.
“Snowdrop?” Luna says in a choked whisper.
So that's what she...I look like. Sad, serious, and almost obscenely cute.
“Luna,” Snowdrop smiles fondly. “I told you I would always be with you.”
“Yes…and I know you were,” Luna’s voice trembles with emotion. “But so many years have passed. Why dost thou appear before me now? Why summon another creature to assume thy form?!”
I raise my hand. "And why this creature?"
She gazes dolefully up at us. “Because I need you. Both of you. Please..."
HRRRRRRRGGGGGGHHHH. Why? Why is she that cute?! Keep it together Jay. Must keep heart from melting. Must stay an asshole or you'll end up doing anything she wants...
"My snowflakes did more than simply help ponies to appreciate winter. They were also used by the pegasi to make our winters less harsh and control the weather patterns. Last year, they all ran out.”
Luna inclines her head. A silence falls over the dream-room.
“So? What’s so bad about a rougher winter?” I protest. “Just deal with it! Hell, I took my brothers and sisters trick-or-treating through blizzards.”
“It’s more serious than that, Jay,” Snowdrop shakes her head hopelessly. Gees, I never realized the effect she...I, could have on people...ponies. Whatever. “Tell him, Luna. What is the worst that could happen if Equestria goes back to its natural winter?”
Luna scratches the back of her head with one hoof. “Well...our world has always had a volatile atmosphere. There is a chance that such a change may destabilize it, bringing about a particularly long and harsh winter.”
“Yes,” Snowdrop turns to me. “Have they told you about Starswirl the Bearded, Jay?”
I shrug. "Not much. I haven't learned anything about this place's history besides Princess Luna going completely insane and, um..." I cough.
Luna is not amused. "Finish that sentence, outlander."
"Luna. We don't have time for that," Snowdrop pleads. Luna's wrath evaporates like nothing as she turns back with a smile. “He was a great unicorn mage. The wisest and most powerful in Old Equestria. Wasn't he, Luna?”
“A wonderful pony,” Luna agrees reverently. “One with the gift of visions and great…conviction.”
Snowdrop frowns. “Yes. He could be just a little stubborn sometimes.”
“He was difficult,” Luna concedes.
“Grouchy."
"Embittered."
"Really not very nice."
“Insufferable."
“Abusive.”
“I quite detested him.”
“We all did, Luna,” Snowdrop sighs. “But in his last years when only I would go to see him, he told me of one more vision: a winter so terrible that all of Equestria would be in danger. And in exchange for listening to his rants, he made it so I could…um…”
“Steal other people’s souls?” I yell. Christ! She could have done that by looking them in the eye.
“Well...sort of,” she says meekly.
“…That’s messed up, Snow.”
“Verily,” Luna agrees.
“Oh, would you just listen to me?!” Snowdrop says irritably, striking terror into both of us. “...That's better. Since Pegasi can’t use unicorn magic, he took the urn I kept my snowflakes in and enchanted that instead. When the snowflakes ran out, the part of my soul that was bound to the urn could summon another spirit and give it a solid form, at least for a while.”
“Let me guess whose spirit that turned out to be,” I say darkly.
“I’m sorry, Jay.” She looks down. “It was the only way, and when the time came, your spirit was the only one I could use.”
“Why?!”
“You have unfinished business, Jay. You have dreams that never came true. You want to do something special. Helping us to save our world from freezing…that’s special, isn’t it?”
She stares me down, her eyes brimming with tears...
HRRRRRRGGGGHHH! Does she know she's doing this?!
I think about it while I try not to look at her. “Er...it’s not the same as slamming other guys into the turf for a living, but if it's the only way to get this over with, fine. First I need to know what you want from me, and if I can go home when it’s over.”
The mirror begins to shimmer. Whatever power is allowing Snowdrop to appear here, I think it's running low.
“There isn’t much time,” she sounds tired now. “We have only a few days before the Running of the Leaves. First, I need you to find my urn in the place where it was enchanted: the observatory in the Castle of the Two Sisters. There, my spirit will be strong enough to help you create a new batch of snowflakes. Then you must take them to the highest cloud in Cloudsdale, and let one fall to begin the first snow. Luna, please tell Princess Celestia what I have told you, and give Jay whatever help he needs.”
"If you wish it, my dear," she nods reluctantly. ”And...I am sorry I was not there to say goodbye to you."
"Friends like you and I don't have to say it. I am always near," Snowdrop turns to me once more. “Jay…I can’t promise that I can return you to where you came from. But I will do my best.”
"Hey, wait!"
The picture vanishes. I strain my eyes, trying to see any remnant of it in the darkness—but there’s nothing. I reach out with my…
Hooves.
I’ve woken up.
“Spike,” I whimper. Ahh, Snowdrop, how I missed your voice. “Spiiiiiike! Wake up!”
“Mmmmf? Wha?! Twilight?” he cries out. “Oh, it’s you. What the heck are you doing in Twilight’s bed?!”
I think I’m hyperventilating. “Balcony…medicine…now.”
------------------------------------------------------------------------
“Look, it can’t be all that bad. If you’d just tell me what the heck is going on…”
I take another puff and hold up the box. “I don’t think you’d believe me if I told you. How many of these are left?”
“Jay, I live with Twilight. Try me. And…13.”
That’s what I figured. I had a few before the accident, and three more counting this one. I close the box and stick it carefully back in my mane. “You’re a dragon, right?”
“I just lit one of those gross things with my breath, didn’t I?”
“Don’t be a wise-ass. I’m trying to make a point. You were born a dragon, and you’re always gonna be one. Right?”
“Give or take a few thousand pounds and a hoard of gems, yeah.” He sounds pleased at the thought.
I exhale, shaking. Better hold that cig with both hooves, unless Twilight likes having burn marks on her balcony. “Okay. Well, I’m not that lucky. Less than two days ago I was a human.”
“Yeah, yeah…”
“They’re real, okay Spike?! And now I’m a pony. A pony everyone thinks is famous. And I don’t even know how long I’ll stay that. And it gets better. I’m supposed to do this big important thing like…take a magic urn to some old castle so I can do whatever-the-hell, and then maybe I’ll get to go home as myself.”
“When did that start?”
“Princess Loony visited me in a dream. It’s a long story.”
He whistles. “Wow. Twilight said Luna could do stuff like that, but I didn’t think--”
“And if I don’t do it…” I slash my hoof across my neck. “We’re in the shit! Or in the snow, is more like it. Maybe forever. At least that’s what some crazy old wizard said a thousand years ago. And I have to do it while I’m weak as a kitten, and blind. So there’s ‘not that bad’ for you. What do you think, huh?”
I give him the spent cigarette. Foomp, goes his breath as he burns it to tiny ashes.
“I think I kind of wish I were you,” he says after a moment.
I wait for the punch line, but there’s nothing. He can’t be serious, can he? “No you don’t, Spike, believe me. I have to change the course of my whole life to help a bunch of ponies solve a problem they should have thought of a thousand years ago! Why the hell would you want to be me?”
Spike is unconcerned. “I get that it's not easy, but if what you're saying is true, you're getting two bodies for the price of one. And two worlds, maybe. That sounds like a pretty sweet deal to me. If I were you, I wouldn’t complain about it so much. I’d just do it.”
“That’s not the point! They have magic here, right? If her damn snowflakes are so important, why not make copies of them instead of grabbing my soul out of the bargain bin and making me do it?”
“Maybe because some things just can't be copied,” Spike doesn’t sound very concerned. "Magic isn't good for everything, ya know."
“But friendship is!” Twilight Sparkle announces from behind us.
“Aaaagh!” I’m so startled that my wings start flapping on instinct. I get maybe six inches off the floor and then fall right on my belly.
“Twilight, how long have you been standing there?” Spike asks.
“Exactly twenty-eight point six seconds!!”
Post-cigarette. Thank God for small favors.
“If Princess Celestia and the girls have taught me anything, it’s that nothing is impossible with the magic of friendship!” Twilight announces happily. “I’m sure that Rainbow Dash, Rarity, Pinkie Pie, Fluttershy and Applejack would be thrilled to go along!”
That’s nice, but is it just me or does she sound a little too happy? I turn in Spike’s direction.
He sounds concerned as well. “Twilight, did you ever go to bed?”
“Bed?! Oh, Spike, who has time to go to bed when there’s so much work to do?! Like, for example, figuringoutthosetestresults!” The last part comes out in a rush of manic frustration.
I shrink back against the balcony. “Um, come again?”
“I mean what the hay are you?! I can’t figure it out! You’re not a Changeling, but you’re not a normal pony either because…” Popping noise, intense pins-and-needles feeling. “That should have made you turn red! See?!”
“No.”
“I couldn’t disguise you as another pony if I wanted to. Your biology is unlike anything I’ve ever observed! It’s not just biology, it’s…magicology!”
I don’t like where this is going. “That’s great, Twilight, but I really need to get some shuteye.”
Hoofsteps. Twilight is walking toward me. “Jay, that's brilliant! Why didn't I think of it?! I can monitor your heartbeat while you're asleep! And your brainwaves. And your nervous system. And your digestive system! There are sooooo many more tests I can do...”
“Snap out of it!” Spike says firmly. “Jay is our guest here, Twilight! Not our experiment.”
I take back every bad thing I said about him.
“But Spike, I have to know…” she’s almost whining.
“Twilight!” I snap. “Until we get a chance to talk to Luna in the morning, screw the tests. I’m not here because I want to be. I’m here because I trust you.”
I try to give her that look Snowdrop gave me in the dream. Be cute. Be cute…
“Oh, Jay,” Twilight sighs. Remorse and exhaustion both seem to hit her like a ton of bricks. “I’m so sorry. I…I don’t know what I was thinking. I got so carried away that I…”
I interrupt as she trails off into a yawn. “Yeah, yeah, we get it. Now go to bed, or your eyes will be too tired to read with tomorrow.”
“Too tired…to read?” Twilight asks weakly. “Don’t…want that.”
“Yes, Twi. Reading,” Spike leads the way as we gently coax her back into the treehouse. “It’s time to rest your eyes now. There you go…”
We finally get her into her room. She begins snoring softly the moment she hits the sheets.
“I’ll make sure she leaves you alone,” he whispers before shutting the door.
“Much appreciated.”
I’m left without a bed now, but I’m too tired to care at this point so I just plunk myself down in the hallway. What a crazy, ridiculous day this has been. What a crazy, ridiculous thing Snowdrop and Luna want me to do. What a crazy, ridiculous Hail Mary play Jarvez made at that one game last year. What a craz…zzzzzzzzzzz.
When this is over, am I the only one wanting him to be a pegasus?
Aah, Snowdrop... The Blind Pegasus of Ice with the ability to melt the hearts of the toughest men... Great chapter and it finally showed the true intentions behind Jay's arrival in Equestria.
So... twelve score? Or is this some meaning of score that I've never heard before?
5787183
score=1,000 years apparently.
5787163 Nope, I want him to remain one too. Specifically I want him to keep Snowdrop's form
This story just gets better and better. The question is... What if Jay wants to stay in Equestria? If he does everything will be 20% cooler. If he stays this fanfic will be 240% cooler than the average fanfic.
I loved this chapter and how a lot of things were explained. I do hope that this story continues on for quite sometime to come, even after (when) the snowflake problem is solved.
YES THIS FANFIC IS 220% COOLER THAN THE AVERAGE FANFIC!!!!
This fanfic is so amazing!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
5787183 Yeah, I noticed, too. I had to look it up after reading it to double check.
5787210 But.. that would be 11,020 years.
It's just some calculation error, perchance? And that's probably why TailsIsNotAlone is a writer and not a mathematician.
I'm just saying this is real messed up. Why do ponies always push the problem back a few thousand years and have someone else do it? For the matter, couldn't they have made Snowdrop the Alicorn of Winter so this wouldn't happen? Also if Jay is stuck like this, at least she'll get to experience the "miracle" of child birth the female way.....I think. I totally feels sorry for Jay if thats possible. Because she'll/he'll have to go through puberty again!
When all is said and done he should really get his sight back.
Ah, so we now get to know about Jay's mission and why he is here. I'm really excited to see where this story is going. Glad to see that Luna and Snowdrop get to see each other as well.
I originally followed this fic out of curiosity to see where it goes. Now it has my full attention, and I would love to more read about the adventures of Jay/Snowdrop.
5787323 Why did I think "score" meant 80 and not 20? Gosh, that's embarrassing. I'm glad you guys caught that.
I should've just said 900 years, or nine centuries. Going in to fix it now!
I just realized that I have no idea where Snowdrop came from. I know she took fimfiction by 'storm' a while ago, but I actually genuinely don't know where she came from...
5787560 She is the main character of this 2013 fan animation by Silly Filly Studios.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=do6RDSwaWek
Eh.
Just the pic of snowdrop smoking a cigarette got me to read this.
cdn.meme.am/instances/10487727.jpg
5787567
My poor heartstrings! Damnit! Gaahhh!
Why did it have to be so sad! And happy! And heartwarming! And sad!
How the hell does Jay keep his asshole behavior if he talked with that filly?
MISSION ACCEPTED.
5787644 I should've warned you, it's VERY heavy on the feels. Making an irreverent comedy with Snow is a pretty big leap. I didn't want to poke fun at Snowdrop herself; it just wouldn't work. So that's where Jay comes in. And I also wanted the story to have a destination that would ultimately tell us more about Snowdrop and demonstrate my affection for the character. Chapter 5 puts us on that path.
You might think that having this much time to go to the Castle of the Two Sisters (I don't know if it has a canon name so I'll just say that) would make it a very easy mission, but you never know what complications may arise.
5787163
I would like him to return to the human world as a human after the mission is over, since he's got a wife and a job there. However, I want the ponies to depart with a parting gift or two to make sure that he remembers the stuff he did in Equestria. I would like him to have the power to summon up snowflakes, or turn into Snowdrop at will, except that he would still be able to see.
*The mirthful laughter of numerous human in Equestria fanfic writers suddenly sounds from all around.*
5787827 ...Yes, that's why I pointed out that "eleven score and twenty" would be twelve score.
5787746
he is divorced, I think.
if not, bring her here?
I've needed to give someone a dose of the internet today, like I usually do.
Downvoted because of my views towards tobacco. I didn't even read it. I love Snowdrop.
This has been your daily dose of the internet.
5787968
Yeah he's divorced though I think he still loves his ex because some of the flashbacks include her a lot!
5788038
bring her here then?
5787983 if you didn't read it. don't give your opinion on it. i don't condone tobacco either but snowdrop isn't even smoking in here. it's the main character of the story that is. that you're ONLY reason for not reading it? go be petty somewhere else, dumbass.
shit, if you did this with every story with alcohol or tobacco , you'd get rid of , proberably, a large portion of this site.
5788087
Oh, shoot. I forgot that he's divorced. I'm not sure how bringing Beth to Equestria would work, though.
My hero!
I can sympethize with twi needing to sleep
and needing to go to the restroom really badly
I'm surprised that no has made the reference yet, so I will.
derpicdn.net/img/2014/11/9/761032/full.jpg
5788461 nope, i'm gonna react to an asshole that's , for the sake of just being an asshole, bad mouthing a good story.
i usually don't react.
Pick one, is it up or down? She can't be above and below them if she is stuck in a wardrobe mirror.
Snowdrop is an evil sorceress. That bitch MUST be put down.
5788626 To "stare down" somebody simply means to stare hard at them, usually in an effort to make them yield to your will.
This is so Twilight.
I really like this
5788690
Woops, read that wrong at one in the morning. My bad.
I like this, it's pretty entertaining. Especially Jay's personality, his sailor mouth and the ponies not caring about it, which is funny.
Continue...
5790433
They probably don't know what the words mean.
5790629
Good point. *shrug* Who knows.
Is there going to be one smoke per chapter, counting down to the time when somepony discovers the last one in the box and decides they cannot trust the Silvery-tongued, Black-Chested Jay any longer?
That would be a good subplot mechanic.
Ah, Ornithology humor. I'm smoking tonight! XD
5790629 rainbow dash knows!
I have a very large nit to pick. Horse legs do not "bend the other way." What you think are knees are actually feet, and the hooves are the tips of their toes. Their knees are the curvy bit. That phrase always breaks my suspension of disbelief.
5792393 This! Exactly this.
Apart from that, good story! I like it. Keep going
5792393 Putting aside the fact that the ponies on the show have a radically simplified equine anatomy, I guess that's a valid nit. Any suggestions on a better way to describe the legs?
5793710
embryology.med.unsw.edu.au/embryology/images/thumb/a/af/Morgan_1925_fig05.jpg/600px-Morgan_1925_fig05.jpg
I'm not sure how to describe it. If I were transformed I would probably be more concerned that my limbs were practically perfect cylinders. The difference in locomotion would probably be noticeable when he stands. The skeletal structure would make it so that the most comfortable position was also the most equine position, so I suppose it would feel like he was standing on a particularly sturdy pair of fingers and toes.