Adventures of Duke Hoof'em

by RobotFox

Rarity

Valentines Day Special: Rarity

It was Hearts and Hooves Day in Ponyville and the saying ‘love was in the air’ was taking place. Many ponies were with their special somepony and expressing their care for one another. It was earlier morning and the markets were full in the streets. Many stallions and mares were looking for a gift and other items for their special somepony.

And in the middle of all the early morning ruckus was their alien defender; Duke Hoof’em. Duke (like any other day) was looking for a mare for him to get together with. Ever since he came to Ponyville, he was never able to find a mare that was interested in him. Granted his popularity was mostly in Amareica since he saved the world many times from invasions, for some reason only happened in Amareica, excluding the incident with Cybertronians awhile ago back.

“So many babes…so little time.”

Duke walked through the motion crowd trying to find the mare that would be standing out, looking for that special stallion. And he was going to make sure he was that special stallion. After about twenty minuets, he decided to take a break and went to a stand selling apples. It was a simple cart full of apples and apple treats and he sure could use a little something to eat.

“I’ll have two apples baby.” He smirked as he said it as he noticed a mare with a hat over her face.

“Ah reckon you remember who yur talking to?” A familiar voice said.

Duke’s eyes went wide behind his sunglasses when he heard the voice. The mare looked up to face him and had a grin but turned quickly into an annoyed look.

“Ah crap…” was a Duke said.

“Yah here to try an get me inta bed with yah again?” Applejack glared remembering her pervious encounter with Duke at her stand.

“Um…no. Actually, I didn’t recognize-”

“Ah’m just joking with ya…But Ah am serious about keeping me out of yur list Duke!” She said but her annoyed look turned into her everyday smile she wore when selling apples.

“…right…” Duke could tell that she wasn’t lying.

“So ya want them apples or what?”

“I asked from them didn’t I?” Duke said with grinning as he tossed the proper amount of bits to her and she gave them the two apples he asked for.

“So what are ya’ll looking for in the market anyway?” Applejack asked as Duke began eating the apples that he was holding in his hoof.

He swallowed the bit of fruit in his mouth “I looking for the unavailable. The mares that can’t keep their hoofs off me.”

“Ah should’ve known.” She said rolling her eyes “Well reckon Ah should give yah luck then. But yah really should be looking someplace else. Most ponies here in Ponyville are-” it was that this point she noticed that Duke wasn’t even facing her anymore. She was about to retort something about when she realized exactly what Duke was looking at.

Not far from them was a stand selling fabrics and there was her purple mane white unicorn friend looking feverously at the variety of different cloths. She smirked. “Hey, Duke why don’t yah go talk to her?” Duke turned to face her “I’m sure she’ll be interested in a large stallion like yurself.”

Duke smirked “What mare wouldn’t be?” this was responded with a bored look from Applejack to which he cleared his throat to “Right.”

“Just go offer yah services, Ah’m sure she’ll warm up to yah in an instant.” Applejack said to which Duke finished his apples and disposed of them. He chuckled and walked toward her. Applejack snickered “This outta be good…”

--MY GUN’S BIGGER THAN YOURS--

“Oh, this won’t due… or perhaps I should look at…” Rarity was babbling with herself looking at a variety of different fabrics. The blue unicorn stallion with a needle and thread cutie mark was waiting patiently as he could as she was talking amongst herself about which cloth she should go with. She held the two fabrics with her magic and was trying to decide which to go with.

“Hmm…well the glitter would definitely keep the attention but perhaps it will draw to much attention to the eye hmm…”

“Sometimes that’s what they want.” A rough voice said behind her.

The white unicorn turned her around to see the black stallion standing behind her. She took a step back due to the size of the stallion that was kind of intimidating but regained her composure in little time.

“Oh, I apologize for my reaction. I just didn’t expect somepony else’s opinion.” Rarity said to the large stallion. At the sight, she really didn’t know what to say about his opinion. The only attire he wore was a red shirt and sunglasses. And his mane was in her eyes was atrocious, perhaps a modern fashion but not her cup of tea. Although she had to admit the stallion did seem to have a charm to him.

“Oh sorry darling, I didn’t catch your name?” she asked politely as she could.

“My name’s Duke Hoof’em.” he said with a grin.

“Mr. Hoof’em, I appreciate your input but I think that I can safely choose-” Rarity was cut off.

“Ah, but it’d be an honor to serve Miss…um…”

“Rarity. Well, I suppose a stallion with such an impressive physic can aid me in all my affairs today. Such a busy schedule, especially with today’s festivities on top of all that.” The unicorn mused for a moment and decided that perhaps he could be useful. “Well, I suppose I can use your help Mr. Hoof’em.”

‘Damn, I’m good.’ The stallion thought. Just do a few minor services to make her happy and she’d repay him, it was a simple plan.

It was then he felt a saddle was placed upon his back “What the-” he looked at the saddle and then turned back to Rarity and noticed her glowing horn dying down.

“Oh did I startle you? My deepest apologies, I feel that you will need this.”

Duke only crooked his neck. Carrying things, no big deal, he carried heavy firearms on a regular basis so this should be an easy feat for the action hero.

“Now then, back to the fabrics.” Rarity turned back to the two fabrics she was looking at before. “Hmm…well the glitter would keep their attention, but perhaps the stallion is for basic attraction. Hmm…”

“Ah Come on, choose the glitter and let’s move on.” Duke said under his breath, trying to maintain his frustration.

Within 10 minuets Rarity finally made her choice with the glitter cloths. “Well, took good amount of time but I do think we are making adequate timing don’t you think darling?”

“Of course lady Rarity…” Duke said with a forced smile trying his hardest to keep his mouth shut about what he really wanted.

“Now then, I really should be looking for some new threads, and perhaps some more needles for the” Duke’s mind at this point went blank.

“This better be worth it…”

After four hours of continuous shopping for all sorts of items that pertained to her occupation, Duke’s load was getting much heavier than he was expecting. On a regular basis he walked about with a handgun and when the things got dangerous he carried a Shotgun and a Rocket Launcher. And he could run and jump with that. The saddles were forcing the stallion to take it easy. They were stuffed to the point where a lot of things were popping out. And holding these things for an extended period of time was hurting on the pony.

“And now for the final job before I head home.” Rarity said as they continued walking.

‘Thank Celestia…’ he thought.

Duke the entire time was keeping his muzzle shut since the whole point of this venture to get with this mare starting to get less and less appealing. The two of them went outside of Ponyville to the more mountainous area close to Evergreen Forest.

“Now what the hay are we doing here?” Duke said annoyed of the trip he just went on and seemed like for nothing.

“Oh, sorry, see usually I have somepony, or dragon rather, else to help me with this. But since you’re here I thought that you can do this to.” Duke said nothing but his blond eyebrow was twitching. “We’re now gem hunting.”

“Alright, I’ve had enough.” Duke said to himself before removing the saddles off his back and started his way back.

“Yes, gem hunting. Duke darling, would you be as so kind as to-” it was then she noticed the stallion taking off the saddles. “Duke what are you-”

“I’m done with this crap.” And with that he starts his way back to Ponyville.

“Well, I must say that is quit rude. And just to think I was enjoying your company on this Hearts and Hooves Day.” Rarity said, mostly to herself since Duke tuned her out and was already a few yards away.

“Very well then, it seems I have to do this on my own.” The unicorn reasoned and with that she activated her spell and started to locate the gems hidden within the ground. Since she was very much against getting dirty she was taking her time with her roof to try and dig out the gems from there.

“There she is”

“Who said that? Duke?” Rarity turned around to see a bundle of bushes there within the wooded area. “Hmm, I know I am not crazy...Very well, I’ll just continue.”

“Get her!” She turned and was immediately was caught by a large dog and was caught with in the grip.

“Oh, you again. Really wasn’t last time enough to teach you a lesson!” Rarity said trying to get out of Fido’s grip.

“Well this time we have you under control and” he pulled out a rope and tightly put it over her muzzle making sure that speech was next to impossible and a bit painful. And it worked Rairty could hardly talk. All that could be heard was little mumbles. “We’ll make sure you’re muzzle’s shut!”

Rover snickered “Excellent, now get her back to the mine, we should be-”

“Get you’re pawls off her.”

The three dogs turned to see the black stallion from before return with a cigar. All of them glared at them “And who are you?”

“I’ve got myself a mare in distress.” He smirked as he blew smoke out from the side of his mouth.

“The Pony is ours now! Leave us alone.”

Rarity continued to struggle to get out of the grip from the large dog as Duke got closer to them. She then noticed the fairly large handgun on the side on his leg…she didn’t notice that before.

“Spot, get him!” The dog went to the much larger stallion. He jumped toward him and was bucked hard making him fly all the way back to his group.

“I outta break a broom handle off in your ass!” Duke stated. Fido let go of Rarity, who quickly taken a hold of by Rover. Fido jumped into the air but was shot in the chest and was forced back down. “Say hello to my little friend.”

Fido tried to get up only to be knocked out by Duke’s large hoof. He walked closer to a intimated Rover and holding onto Rarity. “Back away!”

“You talking to me?” Duke said as he was getting less than a foot away from him. The dog finally scratched his face and tried to back way. The stallion growled “You’re going to die for that…”

Duke fired his handgun twice, pulling his hoof down and both went into the back and they fell to the ground weakened from the force of the firearm.

Rarity got away from the dogs grip and used her magic and removed the rope from her mouth “Now that was rude, tightening her mouth shut not to able to get a voice out.” She then huffed and started walk away from him and made her way to Duke “And you” Duke smirked “While I thank you for putting me out of harms way, I must say that the force you used was quite excessive.”

“You’ve gotta be kidding me.” Duke said annoyed with his smirk disappearing.

“I mean, I understand such methods are necessary sometimes but don’t you think that-”

“For crying out loud, they’re not dead, I’m sure they’ll be fine. Don’t they have medical dogs or something…”

“Perhaps, but don’t you that maybe utilizing a more efficient-”

“Oh to hell with this!” Duke immediately started walking back to town.

“And don’t you…wait Duke, who will help me with my things!”

---

A little late sorry. Not the best one but I like it okay for Duke.