One day, patriarchal, invading caribou decided to enslave all the females on Equestria, intent on taking over it.
In an alternate universe, they won—somehow—, but this is not that alternate universe, this is madness compressed in chapters with the word 'parody' written all over it.
Get a hold of your mouse, because the 'sex' tag only means nakedness and nothin' more. Ahoy!
This is no hatin' fic, nor a fix-it fic. Just dumb ideas 'bout the FoEverse in written format. While I find angry rants amusing, I will not accept heated arguments in the comments. Seriously, get off the high horse.
Feel free to suggest ideas.
The chapters are not connected to each other (unless specified) and they're mostly about how the Fall fails in a way that makes me squeal in delight because of its sheer ridiculousness.
I was bored and trying to kill my writer's block, sorry not sorry.
I like where this is going.
My facial expressions during this chapter
Awesome! Instant fave!
interesting....
Tia is gonna love and tolerate the shit outta him
Go 'Tia! Send Dainn and his Caribou packin'!
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I hadn't exactly planned a continuation, tho... Like, I just wrote the first chapter in like ten minutes (in a span of three days) and said 'Well, you're an one-shot, a cool, badly written, but cool one-shot. Now, I'm gonna imagine an awesome fight that I will not write ever and then I will make another one-shot.'
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5686324
Wait... does this mean y'all want to see the continuation of the first chapter?
I'm a little confused right now, I mean, I can make a continuation (it will not be high quality; as I said in the description, those are just dumb ideas in written format!), but I wanted to move on in my next idea (that one will be dark... as in, amateur torture porn taken to the eleventh level) as soon as I finished the first chapter.
Didn't think this through...
5687225
If that ok with you
...
And then a bile demon from Dungeon Keeper wanders in, and starts eatting all the chickens.
25 minutes later:
A Bile Demon has become unhappy because he has no food.
5687225 Fine for me. I will just use my imagination (Time to unleash Solar Flare against the Caribou...)
*sigh* Shining...
The only thing I can think of to say is
Welp This will end well..how did he even take over again?
This won't end well!
That was my idea, actually. I'm honored that you took it up. It was just a silly idea of mine, but you pulled it off very well.
If you are interested in another one of my silly ideas, you might consider checking out this thread: King Dainn, Meet Molestia. As a matter of fact, I give you permission to use not only the idea, but also anything I've done for it already. It isn't much anyway, really, and you may also change it any way you wish. If you want to take up the idea, just remember to mention me in a comment.
5692421 Point of view
poking holes is fun
http://youtu.be/UTqApKdiD1A
Is it wrong to like Princess Blueblood more than Prince Blueblood? This mare kicks butt in this chapter! Is there more to this "Gravit Schmavity" arc? Who is this white mare enjoying the show at the end of this chapter? I guess we'll have to keep reading to find out.
I don't get it? What is going on?
I dislike FoE with a burning passion...and this, this is just beautiful. So very beautiful. Please...PLEASE continue this master piece! XD
5727161 Sealcake made Blueblood into a totally badass, and Gravity, like everyone else, was enjoying the display of epic badassness.
5727161 Oh, well. The chapter starts with Prince(ss) Blueblood, and she is currently being dragged by caribous to a room in the castle where they will cut her horn. The thing is, Blueblood is no stupid noble, and her talent (at least in my point of view) is about finding her way (her Cutie Mark is that Rose clock-ish thing- never learned its name, lol) out of things. And in my headcanon (and in Gravity's arc), Blueblood tends to over-compensate for things she doesn't have (she is a noble, after all); she doesn't have the raw power of an alicorn, but she is very, very skilled in her field of magic. So she makes her magic find a way out of a magical inhibitor (now that I think about it, that doesn't explain why the inhibitor exploded- hmm, screwed up the internal magical gears, maybe? And it is more of a limiter than an inhibitor, eh, whatever).
And then a crude action scene ensues where Blueblood wins.
The last paragraph is about Gravity, who is hidden nearby, watching (and enjoying) the show.
You know, just to clear up the confusion, I will (probably
) write a scene before Blueblood shows up about Gravity coming into the castle (and killing her way in, because those pesky little equines are attacking her), add to that some of her thinking process and vualà! it makes sense now. She is watching how two caribous get their own antlers up their asses (that is what the thing of 'up the tiny hole' is about). And she is smiling.
I mean, we all know by now that Gravity is no kind pony, she is a freaking murderer, has no problem whatsoever with crushing someone's skull (even if there exists the possibility that they're her nieces' subjects), adores the idea of comitting genocide for fun (she didn't want to kill the caribou due to their backwards culture, she wanted to kill them for her own amusement) and, as a far as we know, maintained a family relationship full of hate with her own sister (Celestia's and Luna's mother). Plus, she is big, very, very big and very, very heavy. Even with the disguising spell, she stands at least one head taller than any caribou (at level with their antlers, more or less) and her hooves crack the pavement just by walking.
She is freaking scary, man. And she has not muttered a single line yet.
Also, I have come to the point where I am terrified of my own creations (this is Tarvoc's creation too, hmm). 'Cos I have imagined dark characters, and Gravity is one of the few that I have written down. And... dunno, guy, I am an amateur, but I think I can pull off a really dark chapter (separated from the Gravity's arc) if I sit down and decide that writing ten thousand words of Applejack torturing Twilight because she wants information will be worth the time.
Also, this comment got out of control.
Dainn... cant feel any sort of pleasure? of any sort?
5766965 Nope. He can't feel sexual, emotional or any sort of pleasure at all. At least in that one-shot, that is
(it doesn't belong in the Gravity schmavity's arc).
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As I interpret the story, Discord now feels anything Dainn would normally feel instead of him. Which is an interesting idea. Of course, NCN says that Dainn is perfectly capable of feeling sexual pleasure. But then again, Dainn does seem to have a rather low sex drive in the stories...
5767803 That is an interesting theory
Maybe when Discord said that he wanted Dainn's pleasure along with his country, he meant it literally; Discord now feels all the pleasure that should be Dainn's (that includes the emotional excitement at having conquered Equestria, the self-esteem boost that Dainn gets at every achievement he does, etc.). But Discord took Dainn's pleasure, not his paranoid thoughts, sadness at himself or remorse for what he had done.
Practically, Discord turned Dainn into his very own personal vibrator; gives him pleasure, but feels nothing itself (aside from negative thoughts, that is).
Kind of ironic, isn't it?
5769270
I absolutely love that metaphor.
5769277 Breaking news: Is our King a dildo?
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Also, if you want to take up my Dainn meets Molestia idea, my offer from 5692567 still stands.
5769507 Of course I want to take that one up. I mean, Molestia trolling Dainn by being the one who plays the active part, who wouldn't like that? Though, I will post your version first (it is the original, after all, not a simple idea that you let up for grabs) and then I will make my version.
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Awesome!
Well that one way to handle an overpowered OC.
In a way, your The Interlude short is already somewhat similar, only on a less physical and more mental level. Maybe we could put those two together somehow. I'm willing to offer all the help I can give.
"Ready for round two?"
5824360 What do you have in mind, you sneaky little thing?
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Haven't got a concrete idea yet. I just noticed the similarity when I re-read both stories today.
Marvelous! Absolutely perfect, and very much in the spirit of my own short.
5881317 Thanks!
I had feared that I wouldn't get it right.
what story is gravity from?
good chapter
5892148 She is not from a story, she is Tarvoc's idea with added character traits from my part. Thank you for your comment, by the way!
5892148
"Gravity" was a silly idea I once had. When NCN was once asked who moved the sun and moon now that the princesses were without horns, he said they were moved by "gravity". When this answer came up in the Post-Fall forums, I suggested writing a Post-Fall story about an (unbroken) Alicorn Princess character actually named Gravity who was now actually moving the sun and moon. Sealcake took up this idea.
Even for a complete and utter jackass story-verse like FoE, I prefer the villains to be defeated in a way that doesn't change the rules that have been set, but rather, save the day WITHOUT rewriting them.
Ironically, my retort on the subject involved Sunset Shimmer and the Human Five coming through the mirror to blind side the stupid deer when they thought they'd already won, the breezies sabotaging them, and the changeling siding with the ponies in a temporarily alliance since lust isn't really love (so it was to keep the caribou from killing the golden geese than anything else).
Enough to break the brainwashing on Shining Armor?
Blueblood badass, cool.
And seriously, Cadence and Twilight are just brainwashed victims, they have no choice in what they're doing. Killing them is just another evil.
One thing I NEVER LIKED about this setting at all was how all the Caribou all acted EXACTLY the same. IMHO that implies were as brainwashed and under the king's mind control magic as the stallions.
Never make deals with chaos spirits, Dainn, there's always a catch within the fine print.