Chapter 24
Time seemed to slow down as the chimaeras fell upon them. It was like somepony—that somepony of course being Fluttershy’s imprint—had taken all the primeval animal ferocity in the world and thrown it into a blender, finally pouring it out into these monstrosities. Rarity didn’t know whether to feel terrified of these multi-creatures or feel sorry for them. She did both.
Whatever the case, though, they were currently the enemy, and thus an enemy to any and all life the monster tree might try to further distort. Rarity only hoped she and her friends could get through them before they were forced to join their ranks.
“Get to the heart!” the white unicorn commanded. “Only fight when absolutely necessary! Unless we get rid of the tree, it doesn’t matter how many monsters we kill—she’ll just keep making more!”
“Aye-aye!” her friends agreed, Firefly’s parasite reluctantly nodding her head as she gulped.
Surprise launched herself into the air, exchanging her miniature party cannon for two large pink cylinders reading ‘Rambunctious Rocket Launchers’ along the side.
“For freedom!” she roared in a cackling-mad battle cry, weaving her way in and out of the falling abominations even as she blasted them to bits. Fried flesh mixed with confetti rained down on Rarity and her friends. “For friendship! For marshmallows!!”
“No way is that ditz beating me to the top!” the not-Firefly snorted competitively. “Hey two-legs, think you can keep up?”
“You’re on!” Megan affirmed with a look of determination. “Hold on tight, Rarity—and help me blast as many of them as you can!”
Rarity nodded as the human rushed to her side, scooped her up in one arm, and snapped. The two of them blasted off with a rush of air, that invisible energy of Megan’s computer flinging them upwards.
“Now it’s on!” the un-Firefly giggled, fear and the spirit of competition warring on her face. So far, they were at a stalemate. She rocketed after her bond and the white unicorn, zig-zagging in an electrified rainbow streak through the monsters as her weapons harness unfolded around her.
Surprise was doing her best to clear the path for them with her explosive party gimmicks, but still some of the monsters shoved each other aside or flew up to meet them again. Rarity’s horn sparked, igniting in a blast of magic that bombarded a squirrel-tailed polar bear-lobster into a giant flying kangaroo with an elephant’s trunk. Another spell did the same to a rhinoceros-wolf, while she telekinetically pushed a porcupine-octopus into the eyes of a lizard-monkey.
Meanwhile, Megan had conjured up a sizeable gun-like weapon of her own with her free hand and was using it to blast whatever Surprise and Rarity could not. The parasite in Firefly’s mind flew backwards at an incredible speed, vaporizing any abominations that dared to follow them back up with bolts of rainbow.
This might actually work! The monsters seemed unending, but as long as they were able to keep the creatures back, then—
Rarity was nearly torn from Megan’s grasp as something shot by her, whacking her in the face—hard—with a clubbed tail. The white unicorn furiously turned to blast the offending monster with an icy telekinetic bolt, but she froze before her horn so much as sparked, her blood running cold.
“Hello, big sister,” cooed the creature who had almost fractured her skull.
“But that’s not possible!” Rarity spluttered, her horn still sparking but now unable to go through with the act of zapping the thing before her. “We killed you! You’re dead!”
“That makes twice now,” Sweetie Belle’s doppelganger laughed with a sneer. The little unicorn filly now sported draconic wings and a matching tail, tipped with the club. “First when you left me to die of sorrow, and once again when you outright murdered me.”
“Rarity!” Megan called with a huff. With Rarity distracted, the others were having to double their efforts against the unending horde of monstrosities. They couldn’t keep this up much longer. “Don’t fall for her mind games! The tree’s just trying to get to you! Kill her and help us, or it’ll all be over!”
“You’re not the real Sweetie Belle!” Rarity screeched, blessed realization dawning in her brain as a wide smile split her face while her dragon’s eyes narrowed. “The real Sweetie Belle loved me! Never stopped loving me!”
The Sweetie Belle-who-wasn’t gulped as her eyes went wide. Rarity’s horn was sparking like never before, a crackling energy building around it like an entire lightning storm was bunched up in the small space.
“Now, big sister, let’s be reasonable about this—” the un-Sweetie Belle tried to say.
Rarity’s horn nearly exploded as the full force of her magic burst forth, unleashing a torrent of blue lightning. The screams of the fake filly echoed in the white unicorn’s ears as her phony flesh was obliterated, as was that of every monster behind her. The fake Firefly barely had time to dodge the bolt before it sliced right through to the stomach, cutting an even larger hole in the bilous sack.
The tree shook with an inequine scream.
“All right, Rarity!” Megan cheered in amazement. “Now see if you can do that again to the ones above us!”
Rarity nodded in affirmation, pointing her horn up, preparing to fire another blast with all her might.
Only a pitiful hooffull of sparks petered out.
“Uh-oh,” Rarity gulped.
“Don’t tell me you used up all your magic!” Megan uttered.
“I did for now,” Rarity replied. “I’ll have to wait to recharge.”
“I was afraid you’d say that,” Megan noted worriedly. “I don’t think we can keep taking them all on without your help. I know you don’t want to do this, Rarity, but think about it—they’re already monsters!”
“What are you—” Rarity questioned before what Megan was asking hit her. “No! I will never willingly sting any living thing!”
“It’s either them or us!” Megan claimed. “And if we let them live, then we may as well be giving this tree our blessing for its experiments!”
Rarity’s mind was racing. Them or us... Them or us... That was essentially the same argument Firefly’s parasite had made to justify her fight to live. It was either her or Firefly, and as long as she had the basic will to live, she would not give up.
But Firefly had the right to live too! Even if it meant the loss of everything Rarity was, did she really want to live with the guilt that she had inflicted such a terrible fate upon another living thing? How could she live knowing she had stolen a creature’s free will, its body, its everything from it, even if she only did so because it meant that the same wouldn’t happen to her? What good would come of fending off one crime by perpetuating it further?
“I...” Rarity sputtered. “...I can’t! I can’t do it!”
“Come on, Rarity!” Megan snapped at her. “We have no choice! It’s them or us!”
“NO!” Rarity refused. “If that’s what you think then you may as well drop me right now! I thought you came to Equestria to get a second chance, not to make the same mistake all over again!”
Megan froze, her skin paling. The monsters closed in, overwhelming Firefly and Surprise.
“I had no choice!” Megan screamed.
“There’s always a choice!” Rarity yelled right back. “If there’s no other way, then you just have to make another way!”
“I’m sorry, Rarity,” Megan whispered after an eternal moment. “But if I had to do it all over again, I would. There is no other way.”
And with that she dropped Rarity and the gun, snapping both her now-free hand-appendages.
“Megan!” Rarity screamed as she fell. “What are you doing?!”
“Forgive me!” Megan called as a current of air caught the white unicorn’s fall. Rarity, still beyond confused about what was going on, shuddered in frozen terror when the truth dawned on her. The air holding her up constricted around her, materializing into bonds tighter than spiderbat silk, binding her stiff as a board. Her legs were glued to her sides, her tail stretched straight out.
“Wait!” Rarity called. “Stop! Don’t do this! I can still forgive you, but you have to let me go now! Think of another way—freeze them! Freeze them in time!”
“There’s too many,” Megan choked, tears brimming in her eyes. She suddenly looked much more worn than the young human Rarity knew so well, all the horrors of another lifetime screaming in her eyes. “We need some allies on our side. I think I’ve figured out how to get us some.”
“NO!!” Rarity wailed, tears streaming down her face as Megan snapped again, swinging the white unicorn around like a living sword. Her tail sliced through countless creatures, each howling in outraged pain before the crystals burst from their wounds. Just like the tree, the glistening spikes covered their hosts before melting in on each other and producing perfect crystallized replicas of what the creatures had once been. Those that could fly made a bow to the still-sobbing Rarity while hovering in the air. Others dropped like the rocks they had become. “What have you done?! What have I done?!”
“MARSHY!” Surprise roared, rushing down through the monsters, propelled by the shots of her Rambunctious Rocket Launchers. She slammed into Megan, sending them both falling. She furiously began whacking the human in the face with her oversized weapons. “YOU! DON’T! HARM! MARSHY!”
“I just saved us all, you twit!” Megan tried to counter between blows.
Meanwhile, Rarity fell. Tears rose up through the air, light from the bioluminescent innards of the tree shining through the globules of water like the crystals so many of the monsters had become. She was sure Surprise or Firefly’s double would catch her, but right now she was so distressed that it was becoming increasingly hard to care. She hadn’t felt this sorrowful since the fake Sweetie Belle had convinced her that her little sister had died a dejected, bitter old mare.
I’m no better than this monstrous tree! Rarity thought in cold fury, directed at both Megan and herself. Surely there was something she could have done—she shouldn’t have used all her magic on that regenerated monster-Sweetie. If she hadn’t, then none of this would have happened.
Cold, hard claws caught hold of Rarity. She looked up through watery eyes to see two of the crystallized monsters holding her up in their transparent hands. They cut her free of her bonds, and then began ascending as more of the crystal creatures fought against their former allies, tearing into and ripping to shreds the brethren they had once fought alongside.
Rarity was finding it increasingly hard not to wish for the still-fleshy monsters to capture her. That would help to balance things out, right? She had made some of them not-them, and they would pay her back by making her not-her. That was fair, right?
No, it wasn’t. Would the real Sweetie Belle want her to give herself up? Would the real Sweetie Belle even think of her as a sister anymore if she knew what Rarity had done?
Yes, she would still think of me as her sister, Rarity realized. She hadn’t done this to the animals. Megan had. The white unicorn was innocent, having been little more than the tool used to commit such a crime.
What was done was done. She wasn’t sure if she could ever forgive Megan, but as long as these creatures were crystallized and helping her, then they were an advantage she needed to use.
“Surprise!” Rarity called. “Come on! We can settle our differences later—right now we need to destroy that heart!”
“Oh, alright,” Surprise called back, smacking Megan with her guns one last time. The human snapped, her face healing, as she began to rise back up after the pegasus. She materialized two guns of her own and began blasting back the still-fleshy creatures as Surprise did the same ahead of her, the un-Firefly bringing up the rear.
The crystal creatures and Rarity’s friends seemed to be winning. The heart was so close...
“NO!” roared a reverberating bellow of primeval terror, shaking the insides of the tree as if a monstrous hurricane were buffeting it from the outside. “NO!! You can’t kill me! I have to help! I have to help her! I have to do as I’m told!!”
Do as you’re told? Rarity thought in utter confusion. Do as who tells you?
She didn’t have time to think for long, however. More knotholes were opening in the sides of the tree, and countless creatures were pouring in. Yet more rose up from the depths below the stomach, and many even began to crawl their way down from where the heart and lungs waited. These new monstrosities were even more misshapen and malformed than the earlier creatures had been, as if they had been mashed together in a hurry.
“We’re so close!” Rarity exasperated. “Fly faster!”
The crystal creatures did as they were told, their transparent wings flapping as hard as they possibly could. It seemed to be in vain.
One of the crystallized monsters was suddenly covered in the writhing, biting forms of the new abominations. Rarity heard a spine-tingling cracking sound, and suddenly the monsters of flesh fell away to reveal that the monster of crystal had been crushed. Shining fragments and glittering dust poured down.
The crystal creatures could be killed? Wasn’t that what Rarity wanted, to put them out of their misery? Shouldn’t she rejoice at their merciful deaths? If so, why was she feeling robbed of her victory when she was so close?
“Why isn’t anything in this era a straightforward decision between good and evil?!” Rarity spat angrily, more or less directing her question at the time period itself.
More of her unwanted yet necessary minions were being crushed, overwhelmed by the onslaught. Conflicting emotions warred inside her—should she be happy or angry at their death? Could she forgive Megan, had Megan done the right thing in the first place, or would they never be real friends again?
All the questions were welling up inside her, threatening to overwhelm her completely. Even the question of whether or not she had done the right thing in walking away when Sapphire lay dying... When her own child, natural or not, had been crushed by her own crystallized servant...
And then the creatures were upon the two servants holding her up, smashing them to bits. They came for her next, her horn still sparking uselessly as she struggled to prevent her tail from doing any more stinging. But should she?
“Marshy!” Surprise called, though she too was being overwhelmed, as were Megan and Firefly’s impersonator.
Is this the end? Rarity thought as she fought for her life, but there were just too many of them. Is this how I die? A thousand years out of time, made into a monster by the twisted legacy of one of my closest friends?
“GET AWAY FROM MY MOTHER!!” roared the loudest, most furious, most vicious draconic blast of sound Rarity had ever heard. The creatures were silenced instantly, the flying variety hovering as they held Rarity and her friends in whatever appendages they had been fabricated with.
‘Mother’? Could it be?
Rarity looked skyward to see that, yes, it could be.
Sapphire was, impossibly, miraculously, horrifically, standing there on the heart of the tree, his green eyes staring down at them all.
“Sapphire...?” Rarity breathed in disbelief, hope and horror warring on her face. Could she be forgiven for her crime? Was Sapphire worth forgiving? Which side was he on?
“Hello, mother,” Sapphire sneered, and the white unicorn’s face filled with dread. “Bring her to me. I have a little payback to initiate.”
The creatures began screeching and cackling with mad glee, actually carrying Rarity and her friends right where they had wanted to go.
“Sapphire, stop, please!” Rarity called. “I’m sorry! I forgive you! Please, forgive me! Don’t do this!”
“I will have my revenge,” Sapphire chuckled darkly. “And you aren’t going to stop me, mother. I died for nothing once. When Fluttershy’s imprint found my brain in my old dead body and then put me in a fresh new body, she made certain to tell me not to die for nothing again. And so, I shan’t.”
Insults built on Rarity’s tongue. Monster. Ruffian. Abomination. But, try as she might, she couldn’t bring herself to call them out. All she could do was see a broken child, her broken child, struggling to find some meaning in his twisted life. This was the solution he seemed to have found. Rarity knew it wouldn’t bring him any solace, and she also knew that he would realize that all too late and be left just as broken as before, if not more so. However, despite it all, perhaps she deserved this. She hadn’t been in control of the tree that killed him, but she hadn’t tried to prevent his death either. Maybe this was how she was meant to go... at the claws of the child she had allowed to die.
Rarity was brought to eye-level with her ‘son.’ Two pairs of draconic optic orbs stared at each other, one horribly sorrowful, the other even more dark and veiled then when she had last seen him.
“For what it’s worth, if it’s worth anything at all,” Rarity spoke. “I’m sorry.”
Sapphire leaned in close, his cynical smile disappearing and his eyes growing soft. “You’re too hard on yourself, mother,” he whispered, his eyes glistening. His tone had shifted to be soft and sincere, like a passing breeze. He gently laid a claw on the unicorn’s shoulder. “I love you. I forgive you. I... I only hope that you can forgive me someday...” He took a deep breath, releasing a small plume of blue flame on the exhale. “Maybe we can be together after this.”
Rarity nodded, closing her eyes. She was prepared for the worst. One blast of flame from Sapphire, and she would instantly go back to drowning in the tree’s office.
A scream rang out through the tree.
A scream rang out from the tree.
Rarity hazarded a peek, then gasped in shock when she saw that Sapphire hadn’t moved an inch closer to her. Instead, he’d slashed open the heart he stood on with his tail and was now breathing fire into it. The heart was quivering, shining with an eerie blue glow from within, expanding beyond what could have possibly been normal.
Finally, the heart burst open.
Epicness was had this day. Rarity questions aren't black and white because thats real life. Very rarely are questions simply what is right and what is wrong
Ciao darling
YAY! Sapphire lives
Rarity's first words in the next chapter are going to be "EEEEWWWWWWW!!!"
so sapphire has spikes brain?
Hmmm, tasty heart meat cooked to perfection.
Rarity makes a great post-apocolypse action pony. She manages to do it with class.
Eh, unfortunately didn't really like this as much as I did the previous chapters, came across as a bit on the cliched side.
Sapphire is going to be an interesting character
2173384 No, Saphire has Saphire's brain. It's the same one as before, just in a new body. Spike's brain is most likely nothing more than dust around his skeleton.
Nice update upon such a great strong emotional storyline like this one. As it seems that there is hope for Rarity and her odd band of "friends."
Plus, a minor clue as of who is behind all of this madness.
Why do I gain the feeling that maybe either Discord or something much worse is behind this weird future ?
Please do keep up the good work upon such a great storyline like this one.
Hesitation gets you killed out here Rarity.
2173594
Hmm... Was his new body grown around his brain, or did he technically have a younger brother/clone who effectively died in his place? And speaking of brothers, where are his brothers? Will we find out next chapter?
2173724
Actually, excellent question. Where is Discord in all this? Since Harmony has been shattered, he really should be free right now. On the other hoof, something tells me he is not the Big Bad, nor is he working for the Big Bad. ...captive of and enslaved by the Big Bad, sure, but that isn't the same thing.
2174106 Well, judging by the fact that Flimprint can obviously ignore genetics, I'd say she grew the parts and put them together around his brain. Remember the last chimeras looking like they were put together in a hurry? Flimprint should have the plans, so that can't be the problem. I think it's that she had no time to really fuse them together like she could have done for Saphire.
I refreshed and new chapter came!
So.... Rarity's tail turns things into a crystal version of their former selves which then proceed to follow orders/protect Rarity?
Megan used Rarity Blade! I can see it now: special armor with a hand guard around the horn, a blade running along the spine that can use the diamond venom, and a belt akin to Kamen Rider Decade's with a Final Attack Ride for the Rariblade.
eat that flutter-bitch
And from that day forward, Rarity's coat had a faint red tinge to it, as she never could wash out all of the blood.
I Found this fic twelve hours ago, and then I read it from the beginning, all the way up to this point with barely a break.
Bravo Mr. Chaotic Dreams, you've got a great story going on here, on par with some of the best stories I've read in this fandom, and I hope that you will continue at it with frequent updates until it is finished.
As it stands now, I give it 10 out of 10.
Ooh, another chapter, another good chapter! Rarity slaying the fake-Sweetie Belle, Megan turning dark, Surprise's beating and more philosophical dilemma. Rarity's line not only sums up the whole story, but considering she's saying it inside the flesh of a tree-abomination in the middle of a battle against more abominations, it just sounds so Rarity-like.
And the lil dragon appears again. I know you have something planned for him, and it may even become a recurring character, but I just don't like him. I feel like it only exists to give Rarity more emotional distress (not that she isn't lacking in that department) and to leave the slightest trace of Sparity in a story with no romance at all. And of course there's the tacky name.
2174287 Yeah, that kinda confused me two since before it simply froze them solid in crystals.
2177526 Quite frankly Sapphire's name is better than all the other dragon names we have so far. Garble (red teenage dragon) and Crackle?
And Fluttertree suffers a lethal case of heartburn! Bitch had it coming.
The only thing that I'd touch on this is this part.
At this point, Rarity's angst starts trying to drown out an action scene, which in and of itself not a very good thing, but at the same time Rarity is also having some major logic fails.
That can be understandable due to stress, but she equates the the dilemma of Firefly and her brain buddy (who really needs a better name than parasite) to that of the horde of slavering, mishapen, amalgamations of parts trying to kill her and her allies. This is immediately after she used her magic to atomize the mutated clone of her little sister. So she'll gladly kill the clone of her sister that was backing up and talking about stting down and talking things through with her magic, but she won't sting those poor abominations that are trying to murder her and the friends she drug back to Fluttertree.
i0.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/newsfeed/000/173/580/Wat.jpg?1315930588
Let's not forget she threw Megan's past in her face like that. Destroying an entire universe does not even remotely equate to using their last remaining weapon against the monsters that have no brains trying to kill them. This is like arguing with your friends not to shoot the zombie that's trying to gnaw your skull off. It makes NO sense!
Bad logic aside there is another part that really needs better explaining or replacement.
This just isn't mechanically or logically possible. Rarity has a scorpion's tail aka a stinger. This thing:
images.flowers.vg/1024x768/scorpion-stinger.jpg
Do note the complete lack of a cutting area. The only point sharp enough to pierce skin is too small to slice through monsters. Yes, it's a story, but things like this are impossible for me to ignore. Other than these parts, I did enjoy the chapter a lot. Despite the whole tail thing, Megan saving their asses by using Rarity as a weapon was pretty freaking funny.
I'm curious, will we see the G4 Applejack, or will we see G1 Applejack? Perhaps they are one in the same? I've seen that happen in a story after all. Heck, I'm curious as to how the Applejack imprint will be handled; after all, that will likely be one of the big points of the story.
2180030 I believe the author meant for it to maintain a scorpion like capability, such as stinging and prehensile capability somewhat, The actual end has a syringe like ending to directly impale and change things, while the rest of the end "knuckle" has sharpened sides akin to a partizan ending
th08.deviantart.net/fs71/200H/f/2010/204/b/a/Partizan_REnder_by_Ironstaff.jpg
that are sharp and yet porous to release the same toxin to 'diamondize' whatever is directly injected, while maintaining the capability to be used akin to a sword.
Referring to it as a scorpion tail might have set into people's heads the general shape of it, but there are multiple instances where there have been scorpion tail styled weapons with a sharp cutting side in video games and stories.
Or it could be that the stinger directly on the end is quite flat, while retaining the sharpness across the whole of the stinging point. That would create an effective cutting edge that could be used in a manner akin to what was described. Which would end up being more of a dagger point with a hollow end that drips the toxin into the wound that the flat scorpion stinger creates with slashes, which in turn will 'diamondize' the victim.
This is just speculation on my part, input from the author on this would be much appreciated to clear up any confusion on this point as i noticed it too and was simply giving a justifiable(to me) reason for this.
2181790 The problem is that Rarity's tail isn't described as scorpion like with a poisonous blade at the end, but as literally being the tail of a scorpion which has no such features.
If she did have the blade that'd be a rather neat link to the past.
fc06.deviantart.net/fs70/f/2012/293/9/d/animorphs___andalite_by_mewgal-d5ig5qw.jpg
Even then though, that's a small ass blade for Megan to try and make use of in the heat of battle with the handle of said make shift weapon literally being a pony so swinging it would mean it's inaccurate as hell. So inaccurate + small blade =
2181844 That would indeed complicate the actions in the chapter. I must dishearteningly agree with you, and unfortunately I don't know the reference you made with the centaur creature. This requires clarification that only the author can give, and either changing of this chapter to follow their canon or changing the description of Rarity's new tail to be more blade-like. I personally believe that a bladed stinger would be more advantageous in circumstances, such as what happened with Megan, and as such would be a more likely mutation to occur to assure maximum survivability rather than just a basic stinger. Perhaps even a somewhat altered shape of the final knuckle of the tail itself to present a more useful tool, such as the top mold of this picture:
time-lines.co.uk/images/am01.jpg
where the two sides are sharpened and maintains a needle like hollowing to the tip while having a denser chitinous layer covering the hollow point itself to prevent it from collapsing from impacts.
2181870 Just a heads up of sorts. The 'centaur creature' is an Andalite, an alien race from the series of kids to teens books from the 90's called Animorphs. I was a big fan and could spend pages talking about it here, but I figure that would bore anyone not interested. So to keep it simple, it was about a group of teens given the power to 'morph' (become any animal they touched), by an alien being, an Andalite, to combat a invasion of Earth by another parasitic race known as the Yeerks. It was a good series and lasted some 52 short books and another five longer stories. Even spawning a live action TV series that didn't do too well. I need to cut myself off before I babble anymore.
Any further information can be found here http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Animorphs
Or on the Animorphs wiki here. http://animorphs.wikia.com/wiki/Main_Page
Glad to see a new chapter. Really enjoying this series, though my biggest concern is all this horrible future will be impossible to fix. it seems like anything short of somehow time traveling back to before Rarity ate the apple is the only way to prevent this future from ever coming true.
2181870 Funnily enough, a creature that I had to invent for a character design class had something that might work.
The general shape the tail remains the same, complete with the venom bulge. The difference being in how the stinger terminates. Instead of the stinger, it ended in a medium size blade similar to that of a scimitar.
galeri.uludagsozluk.com/54/scimitar_130857.jpg
the venom is constantly emitted from a series of small opening on the flange on the top. Then gravity simply pulls it down so that it coats the blade. This gives the tail the ability to slash and and due to being covered in venom means it can crystallize anything it touches. The constant flow of venom means gives it that extra element of danger to justify Rarity's fear of using too much.
2183103 I must say it's been awhile since I've seen another Animorph fan.
2183103 Ooh Animorphs. Have you read the crossover on here? It's AWESOME.
Now has a TVTropes page - Fanfic: Millennium Wake
2185501
WOO!
2185501 Tempting fate is so much fun. You definitely deserve it Chaotic Dreams. Now, it definitely could use some more work...
2185741
Thanks!
Jebus Christ, some of the animal descriptions sound like someone trying to make Scribblenauts creatures on crack!
...which is a good thing. Sorry if that was unclear.
Pretty intense. And I'm glad to see this thing's still updating regularly!
...Maybe it's just because of who the characters are, but there seems to be an awful lot of waffling and angsting over moral dilemmas that don't seem to be dilemmas in the slightest.
The dimension Megan blew up is the first point that comes to mind. Everyone was totally outraged that it got destroyed and Megan had to go through this de-aging, re-birthing thing (ew) and emigrate to Equestria to stay alive, but by all accounts the guys in the other dimension were total dicks and totally had it coming. Not exactly a moral quandary. The same holds for a lot of the villains. Firefly's parasite can think for herself and she uses that to argue for her right to live, but the simple fact of the matter is that she is exactly what the story calls her -- a parasite. She needs to go. Firefly was there first.
There's this great big flurry of supposed moral grey areas thrown around in the story, but they're not grey at all. Rarity spends an incredible amount of time agonizing over technical aspects of her foes that might conceivably make them wrong to murder, but those really don't matter because they are trying to kill her.
Basically, your villains are too unsympathetic and your "grey areas" too starkly black and white to achieve the effect you're going for.
Zervziel touched on it in his post.
could i have next chapter, please
I know I took a few days to read all of this, but if you took the complete time I took...5-6 hours max? I just had parents, homework, school, and other stuff stopping me from reading it all at once. But still, amazing job. Now for random
Flutter tree
"“NO!! You can’t kill me! I have to help! I have to help her! I have to do as I’m told!!”"
Is flutter-tree's order-giver Pinkie's imprint, because I was totally siding with Surprise when she said that Pinkie was the worst. Probably because it seems she got a lot of the Pinkie Sense powers.
2184082 I haven't yet, but it's in my 'to read' list.
Fluttertree, stop getting drunk and playing spore
2193012
Nuking the other universe wasn't a completely black and white choice. While they did have a lot of reasons to go to such extreme lengths, there may have been someone worth saving in there. By your logic, Germany should have been wiped off the map after World War II because they had every intention of fighting forever (they didn't, but that's the point of my argument). As for the parasite, while it is true that she's, well, a parasite, the fact is that she's still a sentient being. Obviously, the best solution would be to give her a body of her own somehow, but killing her because Firefly was there first seems like a last resort to me. Although, I do agree that if there can be only one, Firefly should live.
2193012 This. All of my this. If Rarity was a complete pacifist, then the whole not wanting to hurt anything with her tail would make sense (assuming we completely ignore all the magic bolts she nuked the creatures/Fakie Belle with), but she's not.
Finally caught up with the latest chapter, I saw your story a while back and put it in my stories to read later and I'm just now getting to it. It saddens me greatly that the cover art gives away so many things. I started this story at about five pm yesterday and I have to say every minute of your story was enjoyment....give or take. There where times when I thought Megan was a little over powered and I also find her back story to be some what....ludicrous. If I remember correctly, a clone was made of her so her death could be faked and then she was "de-aged", implanted into some women so that she may be born again ....my brain is hurting from just think about the amount of *ow my brain*
Don't get me wrong, I still like the story and will continue reading but one just one time I would like to read a story with humans where they are not SO DANM OVER POWERED. Megan can snap her fingers and stop things from moving, she can make things out of nothingness, her brain is a computer, and there so advanced that they wiped out another universe...the amount of bullshit, it almost makes me want to not read this story but I wont stop (yet) because I hate leaving thing unfinished. Don't get me wrong if things move to far into the bullshit area I will stop reading, I'll hate myself for it later but...
There are also a hand a couple handfuls of errors/typos through out your story that are boarding on the line of uncomfortable to read. One thing I do really like is the use of G1 characters and things relating to G1. If Megan was not in the cover art I would of fell over back words when Rarity first met into her. All in all, this a good story but please for the love of Faust tone down the ludicrousness.
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Um... Thanks, I think. I greatly appreciate that you took the time to read "Millennium Wake." That means a lot to me as a writer. I am also glad that you are enjoying it (at least partially). However, I must say that wild, crazy, and dark extrapolations are my specialty when it comes to writing. I've had complaints about Megan from others as well, and I try my best not to make her a Mary Sue. But what one takes as ludicrous another takes as not being ludicrous enough. I'm afraid I can't meet your request for toning down the ludicrousness because there is no quantifiable way of measuring such a concept. I wouldn't know if you think one thing is ludicrous or not until after it's posted. Additionally, I can't please everyone, hard as I try.
2236227 Ya, pleasing every one can be hard so you should just please me....my god that sounds dirty when I read it back. You know what never mind just do your own thing, I will continue reading, but i'm serious once one of the characters basically becomes a "GOD" that's where I draw the line. I hope it never comes to that.
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PS: I left the author unsure whether I like there story or not, This means I have done my job as a reader.
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2236227 if it helps i love megan's character.
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Thank you, that's refreshing to hear.
I cannot help but wonder if Twilight and Fluttershy imprints would fare better if they'd sell their improvements to ponies instead of giving them out for free.
That's it; Surprise is Celestia it has been decided. And I'm in megan's side here. Actualy I wouldn't even feel bad for destroying a whole universe, you have shown that the humans went out of their fucking way to create peace.
PS: I home somewhere in this fic they end up going to the human part of Equestria. That would be awesome.
OMG Best chapter ever. Can't wait for more I must know the conclusion.