Chapter 8 - Prisoner of Love
The Traveling Tutor and the Royal Exam
Prisoner of Love
In the pre-dawn darkness high above the picturesque countryside flew a Equestrian Postal Service delivery wagon with four new postal employees in the harness, flapping along in synchronized harmony. Behind them, wedged in between bags of Overnight Delivery mail, were three other royal employees, each passing the time in their own way.
Crosswind stood tall in her seat, casting suspicious glances to either side even as her wings would flutter open slightly in the slipstream and had to be forced back closed. It was a lot of fun to enjoy the transition between dark and dawn despite being ordered not to fly alongside the wagon. The order made sense for once. She would only distract the four inexperienced Nocturne drivers from their synchronized flapping and make their trip even bumpier, which would not help her compatriot one whit.
Papercut had turned even greener than his normal forest-green hue, despite selecting a seat as close to the middle of the vehicle as possible. He was holding an airsickness bag over his mouth and trying to stare a hole in the floorboards every time the wagon hit a pocket of air or wobbled even slightly. Crosswind was not tempted to just bounce the wagon a little at a time. Really.
A second darker-green unicorn the shade of dark jade sat casually to the nauseous stallion’s side, her rust-red mane tied up in a tight matronly bun and a small book held open in front of her. Other than introductions in the darkness of early-morning Canterlot, the three passengers had not spoken a word⁽*⁾ during the flight. Finally, Crosswind stopped playing with her wings, turning to the female unicorn and bluntly asking, “You’re a cop, aren’t you Miss Grace?”
(*) The noises Papercut was making could not be considered ‘speaking’ except in general terms among heavy drinkers and other airsick individuals.
—
The unicorn mare did not respond at once, bookmarking her crime novel and tucking it back into her bags before looking at Crosswind with an evaluating expression. “On detached duty from the Canterlot Police Department at the moment, ma’am. Our commander offered me a transfer to the Night Guard adjunct position while the investigation was in the process. It’s only a temporary position. I expect to be back on the force in a few months.”
“So why are you on leave from the police?” asked Crosswind.
“It would be improper for me to comment on an ongoing investigation. Will there be anything else?”
“You’re really a police officer?” One of the four Nocturne mares in harness looked back over her shoulder, making a bobble in the flight of the wagon that had Papercut bury his mouth back into his airsickness bag. “That’s why we took this job when Princess Luna asked us. We’re getting in shape to apply at the police academy when the new class starts in a few months. I’m Equinox, and that’s Ru, Tupelo, and Iridescence.”
The wagon lurched with every introduction, and Papercut looked up from his bag with a low moan of “Ladies!” It did little good, as the chatty Nocturne began to grill the police officer with all kinds of questions about police procedure and training, although they did try their best to keep the flight smooth. Crosswind attempted to follow along with the conversation while still feeling sympathetic towards the wretched unicorn still bent over his airsickness bag. She had seen the occasional female police officer, but never one of the night-dwelling pegasi females in that role. There was a flock of Nocturne in her home town of Cloudsdale, and several of them had been among the local police and Royal Guard units stationed there, but only the males. As a child, her fellow pegasi had all kinds of fanciful theories about the general appearance and diet of female Nocturne, but when she had bumped into several of them by accident late at night while getting groceries, their smooth bat-like wings and golden eyes had actually been somewhat attractive.
Although she drew the line at actually dating one of them.
There had been another extremely solid line that Crosswind had run into when she was young and considering a career, and it seemed like Ru was about to run into it too. The Royal Guard had been an all-stallion organization as long as anypony could remember. Generations of male guards had stood in defense of Princess Celestia in their gold and cream armor, offering their mortal lives to protect both her and the ponies of Equestria, but when Crosswind had asked her father about joining their ranks, she had received nothing except a firm ‘No’ from him and every other pony she had talked to. From what Ru and the rest of the Nocturne mares were happily discussing with Miss Grace, that thick and extremely solid line of tradition in front of the Royal Guard Academy was about to be bent into a pretzel by Princess Luna, and that Ru was determined to be one of the first to be admitted. The rest of the mares seemed content to just become police officers, but Crosswind had to admit a certain twinge of sympathy for the broad-shouldered Nocturne mare who had her sights set so high, and was still considering the rather odd idea of a female Night Guard when the wagon descended into Ponyville airspace amidst the first rays of sunrise.
“Finally,” croaked Papercut as he staggered up from the floor of the wagon. “We’re three minutes late. The sun’s already up. Pull us alongside the library balcony so His Future Highness can just slither in.”
“I don’t believe—” started Miss Grace before being viciously cut off by Papercut.
“Pull us up to the balcony,” snapped Papercut. “That’s an order. We have an extremely tight schedule today. If that—” Papercut’s mouth moved in short twitches as he self-censored several possibly incandescent adjectives “—earth pony thinks he can sleep in this morning, he’s got another think coming.” Miss Grace stepped back as Papercut staggered to the edge of the wagon, Crosswind having taken the path of least pegasus resistance and flapped up where she could get the best view without being in the way.
It was fairly obvious that the four female Nocturne in the harness were inexperienced in handling a vehicle of this size from the stops and starts as they tried to match the level of the floating platform with the tree-library’s balcony, but eventually they managed to make a rough match. Papercut stepped one hoof onto the library balcony, throwing back the curtains with his magic and opening his mouth to announce their presence.
And froze in that position.
After a brief moment, Miss Grace lit her chipped horn, sliding the library bedroom curtains closed with her magic and floating Papercut back into the wagon.
“Ibbia,” said Papercut, gesturing in the general direction of the balcony with his eyes crossed.
“Early honeymoon?” suggested Ru. All four of the Nocturne mares perked up their ears and turned to look at the balcony before sitting the wagon down very carefully in the library yard and waiting patiently in their harnesses.
“It would appear that an additional private activity needs to be entered into your calendars this morning,” announced Miss Grace, delicately floating Papercut’s airsickness bag over to the library trash can and disposing of it. “I suggest the three of us take a brief break at Sugarcube Corner to update schedules and get breakfast while the wagon is over at the post office being reloaded.”
~ ~ ♥ ~ ~
“Good morning, ladies.” Somehow even that perky morning greeting from the green goober managed to set Crosswind’s mane on edge as Green Grass trotted out of the library tree, taking an extra minute out of their already delayed schedule to nuzzle the purple princess in full sight of everypony already out on the dawn streets of the tiny town. Crosswind was just getting a good case of resentment going when he proceeded to greet each one of the nearly-identical Nocturne postal employees by name, inquire about the health of their ‘little’ brother Pumpernickel (when Crosswind had not even realized they were all sisters), thank Miss Grace for bringing him a breakfast muffin for the trip back, and give the queasy Papercut one of his anti-nausea pills. He managed to top the whole cheesy performance off by waving goodbye from the back of the wagon all the while it ascended into the brilliant morning sky until it was lost from view.
“Isn’t he just perfect?” sighed Twilight Sparkle with a dreamy look in her eyes as Crosswind landed next to her and tried to keep her breakfast down at the nauseating display of puppy love.
“Nopony is that perfect,” she growled in response.
“Despite his academic records, Lord Green Grass is a respectable organizer,” said Miss Grace, pulling a pencil out of her mane and flipping a page over on her clipboard with her magic. “He has been keeping a running conversation by mail with the Night office regarding Princess Luna’s ‘postal plan’ including copies of their employee dossiers, schedules, and training records. I believe he even requested a copy of your records, Miss Crosswind.”
“My records?” Crosswind glared up into the morning sky and tried to figure out just how long it would take her to chase down the Postal Service wagon and buck the green nitwit upside the head. Green Grass, not Papercut.
“Since you are the closest personal servant to Her Highness, Princess Twilight Sparkle, and he has made it quite clear that he cares about her deeply, one should not be surprised by his certain level of interest.” Miss Grace flipped over another page on her clipboard and pushed her red spectacles up on her nose before looking over at Crosswind. “Were you unaware of the amount of scrutiny that went into your level of security? Your folder is only fractionally smaller than that of Mister Papercut. Very impressive, if I do say so myself.”
“And you are?” asked Twilight Sparkle, breaking into the conversation with a bright smile and a certain glint to her eyes that indicated a deep and lengthy line of questions stacked up behind them.
“Pardon me, Princess Twilight Sparkle.” The unicorn mare dropped to one knee, tucking her pencil back into the tight bun that her mane was tied up into and lowering her head. There was a certain elegant flourish to a bowing unicorn that Crosswind had never really considered as she noticed the middle-aged mare was very careful not to let her chipped horn point directly at Twilight during the entire procedure, and had stopped her levitation of the clipboard and pencil as not to be casting a spell either. “I am Lieutenant Commander Grace, Office of Special Investigation in the Canterlot Police Department, on temporary assignment as adjunct staff to Commander Buttercup of the Royal Guard, Night Division. I have been tasked with a preliminary evaluation of security for your residence as well as coordination of your future security force with local law enforcement.”
“Security force?” Twilight wrinkled up her nose. “This is a small town. I don’t need a bunch of armored ponies standing around outside the library and scaring away the patrons. We don’t get enough of them anyway.”
Miss Grace picked up her clipboard and presented it to Twilight. “I have my orders, Your Highness. I’m scheduled to be done by noon and return to Canterlot by train to consult with the rest of the security personnel. After that, a number of guards will be flown out tomorrow for your personal examination to allow you to select which ones you want for your security force.”
Twilight spluttered in indignation as she looked over the orders. “This sounds like some sort of a harem! I won’t do it. I’m perfectly fine here in Ponyville. After you finish your evaluation, go back to Princess Celestia and Princess Luna and tell them that under no circumstances will I accept anypony guarding me.”
Miss Grace accepted the clipboard back and pulled the pencil back out of her mane. “Very well, Your Highness. May I be excused? I’m somewhat behind schedule.”
“Yes, and don’t call me Your Highness. Just Twilight. And don’t step on the begonias outside. Spike just planted them last week.” Twilight scowled and stomped back into the library tree. “Now, Crosswind. Let’s take a look at that schedule. I’ve got some changes that need made…”
~ ~ ♥ ~ ~
The Royal Equestrian Postal Service hangar had not been on Papercut’s schedule yesterday or today, but it was starting to feel a little like home with this second visit as the mail wagon dropped them both off in the early morning sunshine. It was a much cheerier place with morning sunlight shining down through the skylights, and even though the cloud floor was supposedly only about a hoof thick over a solid stone base, allowing earth ponies or unicorns to wade about ankle-deep in the cool clouds instead of plummeting down to wherever, Papercut still felt more comfortable with a cloudwalking spell on all four hooves, and after a moment of thought, made sure his ward was properly bespelled too.
The first two scheduled social visits had already been missed, comfortably wealthy socialites who had requested the presence of the aspiring Royal at breakfast and an early brunch, and Green Grass stopped while being herded out the hangar door and down the corridor for a late brunch.
“I’m starting to suspect my mother put together this schedule. Does every meeting that I’m scheduled for involve food?”
“Of course not,” said Papercut, pulling out the schedule and leafing through it. “There’s a… Well, you have a… I suppose the ladies quilting society meeting doesn’t involve…” Papercut regarded the scheduled box with an indication of betrayal. “They’re having a potluck.”
“I thought so.” Green Grass took the schedule and flipped through it briefly before hoofing it back. “I’m going to need thirty minutes in the morning set aside for jogging, or they’ll have to roll me down the aisle at the wedding. Better make it forty, so I have time for a shower.”
“Excellent, sir. You would not want to show up at any of the Royal’s houses reeking of sweat.”
Green Grass grimaced. “Yeah, they might think I’m one of the groundskeepers. Better bring my schedule along while we run. I’m going to need every minute I can to stay up-to-date.”
“We?” Papercut stopped scratching on the schedule with his pencil and fixed his employer with a very dry look. “I do not run.”
“You do now, unless you have a medical condition that wasn’t in your file. I’ll start you off slow by cranking up my jogging weights, and when you get in better shape, we’ll see about inviting my future father-in-law.”
“You’re kidding, aren’t you, sir?” As a response, his employer picked up the pace to a rapid trot and Papercut hurried to keep up.
Calling back over his shoulder, Green Grass added, “By the way, extend an invitation to a member of the Night Guard named Pumpernickel. He’s in recovery for some injuries, so he might be able to keep up with our relatively pokey pace for a few weeks, as well as keep our security detachment advised on which jogging paths we’re going to take.”
~ ~ ♥ ~ ~
The Ponyville Jail was an impressively solid edifice for a town that seemed to sport so many plaster walls and thatch roofs. Its original purpose had been an emergency weather shelter for when dangerous storms would roar out of the Everfree Forest, but recent modifications in the last few decades had added small barred windows to the thick dressed limestone walls and a half-dozen offices, as well as two small cells. There was talk of also declaring it a Ursa Minor shelter, but since everypony agreed that the event had (hopefully) been a unique disaster, it seemed silly to spend the twenty bits to add a new name to the steel front door.
Miss Grace spent a considerable time inventorying the spotless interior, taking into account the strong cell doors, all locked in the open position so as to avoid accidents, and the well-provisioned office that included a sign-out sheet for prisoners doing community service as well as a series of locked cabinets that were labelled as containing copious disaster and medical supplies. After spending so much time in the much larger and considerably dirtier police department in Canterlot, the clean and tidy building felt more like a theater stage than a real prison. The one thing it seemed to lack was a staff.
“Hello? May I help you?” The rather skinny earth pony stallion looking in the front door of the jail had some takeout boxes of Neighpon food on his head and a rather frightened expression on his face as he considered the intruder into what he obviously thought of as his private space.
“Yes, my name is Miss Grace. I’m looking for the sheriff.” She could not help but frown slightly at the stallion, who sidled in the door sideways to a small empty table, putting his lunch down before creeping up to the main desk and scribbling his name on the sign-out sheet. He practically fled back to the little table and took up a position on the other side of it from her before opening up the top of the largest takeout container.
“He’s not here. He quit six months ago for a less stressful job in Appleloosa.” The skinny stallion dug into his noodles with such speed it seemed he was afraid some bigger pony was going to come along and take them away from him at any moment.
“Well, are you his replacement?” She blinked as the stallion shook his head with little splatters of noodle juice. “Is there a deputy, perhaps? A guard? A truant officer? Somepony with a sharp, pointed stick?” Finally she let out a heavy sigh of frustration. “Well, who runs this place, then?”
“The mayor, I suppose. But she hasn’t been in here since the sheriff left.” The noodle container having been emptied, the stallion popped the top on a smaller container and dug out some small pastries. “My name’s Jailbird, by the way.”
She blinked and looked at the set of vertical lines on his flank. “You’re a prisoner?”
“Yes, ma’am. I only have five years left in my sentence, but if I keep picking up trash and such for my community service, the mayor says she would be willing to extend that to six.”
“Extend?”
“Oh, yes.” Jailbird scurried across the spotless floor, seeming much like a cockroach as he pointed to a gleaming cell. “I keep the jail clean and have a different task for each day. Somedays I clean the park, or help out with construction around town. Trash day is my favorite. Everypony always picks up their own trash in town, but sometimes we have tourists, and they’re messy. I get a food stipend, and have to keep checked in and out all day. Then at night, I sleep here.” He scurried inside the cell and unlocked the door so it would roll shut, reaching out through the bars after locking it to hang the keys on a convenient hook. “It’s very nice.”
~ ~ ♥ ~ ~
“Princess Luna insisted on blocking out several hours this morning for this meeting, but she would not tell me what it was about or even who was invited,” said Papercut in a huffy voice just one notch short of a snit.
Perhaps the rapid pace of their stride through the corridors of the Canterlot castle was at fault, or the fact that he was constantly looking at that pale green flank adorned with Green Grass’ cutie mark whenever they were moving. It was a unicorn cutie mark, showing a unicorn horn with very much unicorn magic sparks coming from it sitting plainly on his very earth pony butt, and it served as an uncomfortable reminder of every time he had been following along after Princess Celestia and looked at her shapely firm flanks with just the slightest bit of unprofessionalism. Over his time in training, he had even gotten somewhat used to Her Highness’ wings and the tiny little cues that she would project through them indicating her wish for an interruption to end an unpleasant meeting or fascination with a topic being discussed that indicated an unspoken desire to modify the schedule somewhat.
The infuriating earth pony seemed well aware of his ‘tells’ and under control of most of them, except for a certain twitch to his tail when stress levels peaked, much as they did just now. He slammed to an abrupt halt in the corridor and was nearly trampled by Papercut, but the sharp retort he earned was cut off unsaid as the reason for the interruption became apparent.
“Princess Luna!” Although Green Grass tried to pull off an air of disconnected calm upon meeting the Princess of the Night, there was a tremble that traveled down his tail as a long continuous shiver, making the dusky brown hairs almost shimmer as a liquid. It was distracting, and he did not really realize how much so until the Princess and the Peon vanished behind the door for their private meeting, leaving him out in the hallway to wait. There was a mischievous twinkle in Luna’s eye when, just before the door shut, she looked at him, looked at the tutor’s green flanks, and shook her head with a quiet smile.
His blush lasted through their entire meeting, and he was still slightly pink when they emerged.
~ ~ ♥ ~ ~
Green Grass was beginning to think that the universe had a very twisted sense of humor, and it tended to rub off on any pony who spent most of their lives touching large portions of that universe, in particular the sun and moon. Any humor tends to have days where certain things were more funny than others, and today’s Humor Flavor of the Day seemed to be Irony, served with a topping of nuts.
That one memorable afternoon he had spent during Shining Armor and Not-Cadence’s wedding while being ‘responsible’ for several young unicorn guests had stuck in his mind, despite every effort to the contrary. After all, he had proposed to a bug, and that does not happen every day. It had been a perfectly understandable mistake, so understandable in fact that he had never mentioned it to Twilight, or any other living creature. Well, other than the bug. And his sworn-to-secrecy students. And Luna, although that was under duress.
He had been in a full-blown panic after Twilight had vanished on the day of her brother’s wedding, and had dragged his four little unicorn students all over the castle in a futile search with the engagement ring seeming to burn a hole in his jacket pocket. The wedding had started without her, and he had just come out of one last pass through the Archives with his students in tow when the sky had filled with diving changelings. After that, things got a little fuzzy. He could remember shouting her name and running towards the throne room, followed by the pounding of little hooves as his students pelted along with him. There were blurred memories of dark changelings lunging up in front of him, a dampness on his hooves, the occasional victorious cry as one of his students used their magic against the attackers.
Then there she was, standing on the balcony overlooking the throne room, a blur of perfect purple in his sight. He had collapsed on his knees in front of her, babbling as he pulled out the ring. Lifted it up. Almost placed it on her horn—
Until a wrapped-up bundle of antique armor swinging on a rope smashed into her side and knocked her over the balcony. His students cheered. Shining Armor and Princess Cadence rose up into the air at the front end of the room.
And the world went pink.
Later, his students were all so happy that he had managed to distract the changeling long enough for their trap to work that they wanted to tell everypony in the castle, but he had managed by way of implied threats and enormous piles of ice cream to get their cooperation, as well as four Pinkie Promises.
Now, every memory he had blocked away came cascading back as Princess Luna brought him into the Badlands Ambassadorial chambers and introduced him to the ambassador.
Who was very much a changeling.
He managed not to squeak in fear, bowing in the appropriate spots as Luna introduced him to Ambassador Honey Bear and her young son, Peep Sprout. In fact, a sense of confidence flickered into life as they talked. The ambassador was friendly, and not nearly as frightening as his previous experience with changelings, while her son was at that special age of most of his beginning unicorn students. In fact, the little changeling was even a fan of Shining Armor, and was so full of childish curiosity and energy that he almost wanted to introduce them both to Twilight to see what she would think of Peep Sprout’s Shining Armor disguise at that small size.
Things were definitely looking up, and he was starting to think he could handle about anything.
Until the ambassador introduced her aunt, who was visiting the castle for a few weeks.
Queen Chrysalis.
Author’s Note : The Traveling Tutor and the Changeling Queen’s Nephew (A short story for the EqD Writer Training Grounds)
~ ~ ♥ ~ ~
There were so many things to do in the Ponyville library that even a princess could use some help. Twilight had gotten so used to having Spike take notes and organize her schedule over the years that she found herself constantly calling Crosswind by his name. In Canterlot once she had even — to her acute embarrassment — passed her a note that needed to go to Princess Celestia and almost panicked as what she was thinking of as a baby dragon darted out of a nearby window and flew away. She had recovered by the time the pegasus had returned, but she found it much more comfortable to keep the windows closed in tall buildings from that point on.
Due to her upcoming wedding, this had become an epic time of schedule rescheduling, comparing the rough outline of events that Princess Celestia had included against Luna’s plans, as well as four different Offices and Bureaus that had sent their own ideas on what a proper royal wedding entailed. Her own rough schedule of events was going to need significant modification to cut the preparatory time down if they were going to meet the Summer Sun Festival deadline, but then again, her original schedule had covered most of two years in order to get everything possible included. As much as she did not want to admit it, having less than two months to plan and execute a wedding would probably be much less stressful than living through two years of the chaos.
Greenie had been up with her for a considerable portion of the night while working on a dependency diagram of the various critical social points that would have to be covered over the next few short weeks, before they had fallen asleep under a pile of long scrolls. Still, they had not gotten that much sleep, due to certain hormonal changes that she was still trying to adapt to. Since yesterday, she barely had managed to read through three books on the topic of pregnancy, which put her far behind schedule, even though she had promised Green Grass that she would not panic over all the changes that a few scant grams of new tissue was causing in her body.
A sharp rapping at the library door despite the ‘Open’ sign made her send Spike to answer it even while Other-Spike was scribbling away at the changes that would need to be made in the Bridle Party in order to accommodate the rather strange flower filly that Greenie wanted to include. She had just gotten to specifying Green Grass’ brother Graphite’s placement as a Groomstallion in order to provide any needed translation services when a tall and rather fragrant pony swept into the room with the flutter of primary feathers.
“Ah, Princess Twilight Sparkle. You are even more beautiful than I expected.” The tall aristocratic pegasus swept down into a bow that rather obviously expected a polite purple hoof to be raised and kissed in the process, not the sudden excited bounding away that she did as Twilight ran to the bookshelf and retrieved an annotated (i.e. with included little sticky notes by her future husband) copy of Twerps Peerage, flipping through it in a blur of motion.
“Hold on, hold on, I know I’ve seen you in here. Storm cloud cutie mark, white feathers, orange mane, hazel eyes, hang on for just a second—”
“Lord Stormwind.”
“Ah, HA!” said Twilight, jabbing a hoof down into the open book. “There you are. Father is Duke Stormwind, divorced twice, owns a majority share of the Rainbow Works in Cloudsdale and is skimming off just enough of the profits to support his gambling habit but not enough to prosecute. You’re Swirling Typhoon Stormwind, the son he hired as Quality Control Supervisor who’s never been seen at the factory because you spend most of your time in Las Pegasus with—” Twilight looked up from the notes in the book. “Griffon dancers? How cosmarepolitan of you.”
“Ah… Yes. Um.” The handsome pegasus shifted position in some discomfort, glancing backwards through the open door until an obvious subordinate trotted forward with a box of chocolates and a bouquet of candied daffodils. “Yes. Princess Twilight Sparkle, I just wanted to—”
“Pursue me in a romantic fashion so that you could woo me away from my fiancé?” asked Twilight in a tone that indicated it was less of a question than it appeared. “How thoughtful of you. And I don’t even have a beak.”
“Ah… Perhaps this isn’t the best of times.” The pegasus began to back slowly toward the open door only to have it slam shut and make a small click as the lock engaged.
“Quite the contrary, Stormy. I may call you Stormy, correct?” At the stallion’s rather abrupt nodding, she continued, “This is not the best time. When I was Princess Celestia’s student would have been an excellent time. I would have been flattered that a Duke’s son was interested in me, and we might have even been compatible. Green Grass’ notes compliment your intelligence and your knowledge of foreign cultures, as well as a certain interest in books. Even after I became a princess, you might have had a chance, albeit very, very small one, provided that you had descended from your cloud to speak with me. But now? What makes you think I would choose you over Green Grass?”
“But he’s just an earth pony,” protested Lord Stormwind, with his tail pressed firmly against the door.
* ♥ *
The small collection of ponies who had gathered around the Ponyville plaza fountain all took a step backwards as a magenta ball of magic appeared above it and a perfectly-groomed pegasus stallion shot out of it in a downwards direction at great speed, meeting the water in an explosive splash that damped several of the closer observers.
“Time?” asked Rainbow Dash.
“One minute, twelve seconds,” said Pinkie Pie, poking the top on her stopwatch.
After a quick review of her clipboard, Rainbow Dash announced to the crowd, “Looks like the fountain pool goes to Crosswind, with side bets on splash diameter going to Ditzy. Congratulations to the winners and we’ll be taking bets on how long the second royal takes to arrive and his time to the fountain just as soon as we get Stormy here pulled out and dried off.”
A bedraggled and grumpy pegasus dragged himself to the edge of the fountain and permitted himself to be pulled out by Rainbow Dash. His immaculate spats were covered in green freshwater weeds, the formal suit coat sagged and bulged with water, and one of the pockets held a frantic goldfish, which Rainbow tossed back in the fountain.
“Welcome to Ponyville, Lord Stormwind. If you’ll follow me to the spa to get cleaned up, Rarity has volunteered to clean and dry⁽*⁾ any clothing that you might have ruined. Then we’ll head over to Sugarcube Corner for your welcoming party.”
There was a distant bang from the library door and a loud voice calling out, “And if I catch you talking to my friends Rainbow Dash or Fluttershy, there won’t be enough feathers left on you to stuff a pillow!”
“Aaand I think I’ll just let somepony else escort you that way. See you at the party.” With a flick of her multicolored tail, Rainbow Dash zipped off into the sky.
(*) After they had returned to their estates, most prospective suitors found that their surviving outfits had not only been cleaned and dried, but several fashionable additions had been included. Only a few fortunate (or unfortunate) Royals were presented with completely replaced clothing, mostly because their original outfits⁽¹⁾ had caught fire while being cleaned.
(1) Purely due to spontaneous combustion. Still, it was somewhat coincidental that only the clothes that really deserved to burn had been given to the Cutie Mark Crusaders to dry. Unfortunately no cutie marks were gained in the process, but there was ice cream afterward.
—
~ ~ ♥ ~ ~
There was a light breeze from the south sweeping over the open balcony, making Green Grass uncomfortably aware of the significant drop to either side that had not seemed quite that important the last time he had been up here. The Royal Throne Room below was completely empty this afternoon, except for his small group of ponies — well, mostly ponies — and a significant amount of stage direction provided by Luna.
“So my tower is over there—” Luna pointed with one hoof, which made Green Grass look and promptly back up a step at the sight of so much unsupported air between the throne room observation balcony and the ground “—and the flagpole that thy students tied the bundle of armor to is up there—” The pointing hoof swung skywards, and Green Grass could not help but follow it, backing up yet another step at the sight of so much blue sky “—so the changeling who was disguised as Twilight Sparkle was standing somewhere around there.”
“Actually I think I was standing right here,” said the changeling ambassador, striding over to the balcony looking down into the throne room and resting her hooves on the railing. Her disguise was perfect, and if Green Grass had not been positive that Twilight was back in Ponyville, and had wings, he might have believed the changeling really was Twilight Sparkle. Even the voice was a near-perfect match, and only the smallest of behavioral idiosyncrasies betrayed her changeling background, such as her carnivorous smile or the way she flicked her tail at him when Luna wasn’t looking. Although the blur of thoughts whirling around in his mind were distracting, it was not enough for him to miss one simple word she had let slip.
“You?”
‘Twilight Sparkle’ looked back over her shoulder from the shaded balcony and licked her lips. “Yes, me. I was up here watching my aunt and the prisoners when you came galloping up like a herd of stampeding buffalo. If you hadn’t distracted me, I might have been able to warn Aunt Chrysalis about your marefriend getting loose.” She sauntered over to Green Grass and slid one hoof up his lumpy jacket, leaning in close and whispering, “I was going to be a princess. You’d like to marry a princess who can fulfill all of your dreams, wouldn’t you?”
From across the balcony, Chrysalis smiled at her niece in a broad grin that exposed sharp teeth but had nothing to do with humor. “Honey Bear, what did we discuss?”
The younger changeling stopped running her hoof up and down Green Grass’ chest before looking away and scowling. “Don’t taunt the pony princesses.”
“And?”
Honey sighed. “Don’t mess with the minds of her subjects unless you really like the idea of trying to suck sustenance out of cacti and lizards again.” Green Grass gave a little jolt and a step backwards as the compulsion that she had been projecting cut off.
“Good girl!” Chrysalis beamed and stepped forward the few paces it took to give her niece a hug and a quick ruffle along her streaked mane. “If you can keep your urges under control, we won’t ever have to worry about… What was that you said after the wedding, Princess Luna? Something about having used up my one chance and if I ever were to do that again, you would hunt our race to extinction even if you had to burn the planet down to the molten core over ten thousand years?”
Luna shrugged. “I was upset.”
Chrysalis released her niece and stuck out her tongue. “Don’t remind me.” She dug into a bag and measured out a hefty spoonful of medicine from a dark bottle, swallowing it with a bitter grimace. “Princess Lovey-Dovey and Shining Studmuffin gave me such a stomachache. Now, what exactly is your plan?
“You’ll love it,” said Luna, drawing out a sheet of paper with a map drawn on it.
Five minutes later…
“I hate this idea,” groused Green Grass.
The changeling disguised as Twilight Sparkle grinned in response, tossing her mane back and shifting positions. “Well, if you would hurry up, we can get this over with quickly and you can get back to your meetings with the wedding planners.”
“That’s not much better.” Green Grass scowled and looked around. “Where was I?”
The changeling ambassador waved one purple hoof and traced events to the present. “I was over here leaning up against the balcony rail when my handsome prince came galloping along the catwalk, spotted me right there, gave out this absolutely delicious burst of love that almost knocked me off my hooves and came running over to where we are now. We kissed—”
“I’m pretty sure we didn’t kiss,” said Green Grass, torn between revulsion and attraction at the disappointment that ‘Twilight Sparkle’ displayed. He swallowed and continued, “I came running right to about here and dropped down on one knee like this. Got out the ring. Blathered something incoherent.”
The ambassador giggled. “I’m not quite sure what you said either. You were putting out so much love, I was almost blind and deaf.”
“I didn’t hear anything either,” sounded a voice from far below in the throne room. Queen Chrysalis waved as they looked down. “I was right over here, looking out over the city and singing.”
“Singing?” asked Green Grass. “Seriously?”
The ambassador booped Green Grass on the nose in response. “Focus, lovercolt. You got out your ring…”
“Oh, yeah.” A quick search of pockets turned up nothing. “Oh, I gave it to my Twilight already.”
“Here. It’s a copy.” The ambassador slipped a familiar gold ring with a diamond over to Green Grass, who regarded it with a great deal of skepticism.
“You weren’t planning on impersonating Twilight later, were you Ambassador Honey Bear?”
“No! Of course not.” Honey tossed her head back and parted a section of mane around her horn. “Now finish your proposal.”
Green Grass hesitated on the balcony, listening to the wind whistle by and the idle humming of the changeling queen below. Luna was supposed to be at her bedroom window, comparing the distant scene she was watching to the brief glimpse she had gotten during the original wedding so that she would be able to tell the newspaper reporters the exact details they certainly would demand, but he was starting to think it was more likely she was just rolling on the floor, laughing her head off.
“I think I said, ‘Twilight Sparkle, will you marry me?’ before holding the ring up like this—”
‘Twilight’ ducked her head and stuck her horn through the ring faster than he could blink. “And then we kissed?”
“No! Queen Chrysalis, can you tell your niece to stick with the script?”
“I can’t hear you,” she called back in a distant voice from the floor of the throne room. “I’m singing, remember? Besides, you’re going to have to deal with a lot worse than Honey before and after you trade vows with Little Miss Purplesmart.”
Green Grass huffed a breath out in exasperation. “Ambassador Honey Bear, I agreed to tutor your son in exchange for your cooperation in this. Are you going back on your end of the deal? If so, Peep Sprout is going to be awfully upset.”
“Oh, bother.” The changeling ambassador stopped puckering up and blew out a breath in an upwards direction that made her mane bounce just exactly the way Twilight would do when she was frustrated. “A deal’s a deal. Do you at least have an older brother?”
There was a gust of cool air that seemed to freeze little droplets of perspiration across Green Grass’ flank, and a quiet voice said, “That would be an exceedingly poor decision, Ambassador.” Princess Luna stepped out from behind him with a critical look, then a rather exasperated glance down into the Royal Throne Room at the changeling queen, who had found a comfortable place to rest her royal rump, as well as a somewhat familiar form to do it in.
“Queen Chrysalis, please vacate my new throne at once. And my flank is not that fat!”
~ ~ ♥ ~ ~
Evening tinted the sky over Canterlot in shades of red and gold as Celestia and Luna strode to the Solarium, a glass-enclosed balcony that looked out over the city and the paths of both moon and sun. Officially, it was the Sunrise Solarium but since the return of Luna, there was somewhat of a backlog of name changes that were working their way through the system. A single middle-aged unicorn mare stood looking out at the upcoming sunset, seeming almost crimson in the tints that the Canterlot weather ponies were imbuing into the clouds this evening. She gave no reaction to the two alicorns walking up behind her until Celestia quietly cleared her throat, and the unicorn nearly jumped over the balustrade in startled reaction.
“Your Highnesses! I apologize. I was lost in thought.”
“Be at ease, Miss Grace,” said Luna stepping forward. “You are among friends.”
The low green glow that had sprung up around Grace’s horn went out like an extinguished candle, and the policemare shuddered to a halt before going down in a slow but deliberate bow. “My apologies again, Princess Luna. Allow me to report on my assigned task.”
“No.” Luna’s silver shoes made little clicking noises as she walked around the kneeling mare, stopping after one slow circle to address her again. “First, I must speak with you. The dreams you have been having as of late trouble me.”
“I will increase the dosage on my medication, Your Highness. May I present my report now?” The kneeling mare had not moved, with her eyes still fixed on the floor until one silver-clad hoof lifted her chin up. Luna’s eyes were limpid pools of teal, reflecting hints of the reddish clouds like memories, and Grace found she could not look away.
“I shall not force thee to reveal thy pain if thou truly wishes to hold it within.” The Solarium was silent with only the sound of an evening breeze whistling through the bumps and ledges of the stonework, but the unsaid ‘however’ seemed to drift on the wind in an endless repetition.
Finally Luna looked away, staring at the banks of sculpted clouds in the distance glowing a soft gold and red. Her sister stepped forward to her side, lighting her horn in a soft golden glow that brought a twitch of sympathetic piloerection to all of the hairs along Grace’s back as her chipped horn vibrated in harmony with Celestia’s titanic power being released at such close range. The sun slid below the horizon in a smooth arc, neater than even the most talented unicorn could move a small object, and as it vanished from sight, Luna’s moon rose up into the sky. The low thrum of power coursing through all of Grace’s nerves shifted somehow as the golden glow gave way to a indigo magic both similar and so different to Celestia’s. Silver light poured over the Solarium and the high clouds, transforming both into shining creations of glass and ice that reflected the twinkling of uncounted stars.
Luna remained with head held high and horn glowing even after the moon had risen, and Grace was just starting to wonder when the first flicker of yellow appeared across the town. Then another, and another, until the faint flutter of wings could be heard, and the yellow glows turned into the golden eyes of the Night Guard, settling into their positions on the towers and tall structures all around before vanishing into the shadows. If not for the fact that Grace had seen them land, she would have sworn each rooftop and tower was still as empty as they had appeared a few minutes ago.
“Do you know the history of my creations, Miss Grace?”
Struck dumb for a moment, Grace fumbled with her pencil and opened up her clipboard to buy time, only to have an inexorable force pluck them from her magic and place them to Luna’s side. “I… Yes. Yes, Your Highness,” she finally managed to stammer out.
“Recite it.” Luna had not moved from her position, still staring out over the silver-traced city as if entranced, although Grace felt certain that the Princess of the Night was still watching her intently.
“S-summarized, when you r-raised in revolt against P-princess Celestia—” Grace paused and took a quick breath “—you took your followers with you and transformed them into t-that form. After Nightmare Moon was banished to the moon, the survivors pledged loyalty to Princess Celestia, and since then, have been the most loyal supporters of the Crown. The bats — I mean Nocturne in the Canterlot Police Department are extremely good officers, very effective and quite hard-working, even if they are a little stand-offish.”
“Dost thou know the age of the eldest of my followers who survived my folly?”
There was a hint of frost in Luna’s voice, and a horrible realization began to soak in. “This is about my suspension from the police force, isn’t—”
“Ten.” Luna turned to face her with an expression as cold as space. “The same age as the colt whom you saved. I have read the report that the municipal guard hath written on your actions, so filled with qualifications and weasel-words that it is nearly another language. The truth of the matter is that you acted properly. The pony who took that colt hostage was a murderer many times over, and would have slain—”
“I could have saved them both!” hissed Grace, tearing her gaze away from the Princess of the Night. “There were a dozen ways I could have stunned him and saved the child. I see it over and over in my head every night whenever I close my eyes. I could have rammed a knife into his leg, I could have knocked him unconscious with a spell or even just hit him over the head, but no! I knew he was going to be at that shopping center, picking out his next victim. I had read all of the preliminary reports and I convinced my partner it was just a hunch, but I knew. When my partner spotted him and he grabbed the kid, I could have done anything!”
There was a low green glow around Grace’s chipped horn, and a market scene appeared in front of her in miniature. It jolted with her movement, filled with young ponies out buying treats while older ponies tried to keep them under control. A middle-aged earth pony seemed to hold center in the illusionary scene, growing larger as Grace slipped through the crowd in her memory until he looked away and grabbed a nearby colt, holding a slim blade across his throat while shouting something. The image blurred with movement, the stallion growing larger in the illusion as she galloped at full tilt across the intervening space—
Until she lowered her horn and slammed into his side in a splash of blood.
“He was blind to me, turned just enough to see my partner and hold the knife to that colt’s neck, and…” Grace trailed off with tears dripping down her face.
“If killing one pony makes you a murderer, then what of ten, or a hundred, or thousands?” Luna moved up to her side and placed a warm wing over the sobbing mare, mirrored by her sister on the other side. “You seek a way to make the pain of taking a life go away. All you can do is endure, and in time, it shall become less of a burden upon your soul. Such is the way of mortals. Every evening I am forced to face the blood of my decision in the faces of my Nocturne. They each take their names from one who followed my call on that dreadful night, as to honor their departed ancestors, but what I see when I hear their names are the faces of those whose trust I violated. I envy your situation, for your actions saved a life, and brought justice to his other victims, while I was but a petty and vindictive mare seeking glory for my own selfish reasons.”
The two Princesses of Equestria remained standing with the crying mare between them for some time. There was no rush by either of them to attend to any Royal Duties or interruptions from outside, only the silent stars above and the occasional glint of yellow eyes in the darkness. The tears slowed after some time, the unicorn mare seeming to gather strength until she could stand on her own hooves, although she shivered with regret as the covering wings slowly furled back onto the flanks of the princess sisters and the cool breeze from the night air stirred the damp fur of her cheeks.
Finally, after blowing her nose on a kerchief provided by Celestia, Grace straightened up and picked up her clipboard in her magic, but before she could say a word, Luna nuzzled her behind the ear like one would a foal. “Do not fear. I shall guard thy dreams tonight, if thou wilt permit it.”
“I will.” Grace arranged her clipboard and took a deep breath. “And thank you, Princess.”
After a few more breaths and a totally unnecessary ruffling of the clipboard, Grace’s horn glowed and an illusion of the Ponyville Golden Oak Library appeared with several icons highlighting certain points. “Anyway, Princess Twilight Sparkle’s residence is reasonably secure, and I would anticipate a rotation of less than two platoons of visible security ponies and one undercover unit would suffice to protect her against any reasonable level of threat. That would work out to four Royal Guard and two Special Forces on duty at any one time, but it may be wise to add an additional platoon of security for newspaper reporters. Also, I would highly advise that a constable of some sort be appointed for the town. Their current police force consists of one prisoner.”
“How is Jailbird doing?” asked Celestia.
“Um. Fine, Your Highness?” Grace shook her head and returned to the presentation. “However, there is one problem with any actual deployment. Princess Twilight Sparkle stated quite firmly that she did not want a security force.”
A green-tinged young alicorn appeared out of Grace’s magic and said, “I’m perfectly fine here in Ponyville. After you finish your evaluation, go back to Princess Celestia and Princess Luna and tell them that under no circumstances will I accept anypony guarding me.”
As Grace dismissed the illusionary princess, she continued, “So as you can see, without an agreement from Princess Sparkle, my trip seems to have been for nothing.”
Both royal alicorns were slowly shaking their heads as Grace finished, and she could not help but wonder what they were thinking while she stood and waited for new orders.
“Return to thy bed, Miss Grace,” announced Luna with a subdued chuckle. “You shall need your rest if you are to return to Ponyville on the morrow and ensure the proper placement of Princess Twilight Sparkle’s security force.”
“I thought she clearly stated she didn’t want anypony guarding her?” asked Grace in the hesitant tones of somepony who has found themselves between the irresistible forces of sun and moon, and the immobile object of a pregnant alicorn with mood swings.
Princess Celestia smiled and motioned Grace towards the door. “Even though she was my student, as a princess, she has much to learn. She always did have problems with qualifiers. My sister and I shall abide precisely by her request. Get a good night’s rest, Miss Grace, and please pass on our decision to Twilight tomorrow morning, along with both of our best wishes.”
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You know, technically GG should formally retract his offer of marriage to the Changeling Ambassador, or he could wind up in rather deep double trouble... Although Celestia does use marriage as a diplomatic tool...
5752392
Bob: Are you sure? I mean—
Carl: My cousin sleeps in the servant's chambers directly beneath the Royal Chambers.
Bob: So?
Carl: She hasn't had a good night's sleep in months. I'm honestly more worried about her becoming a tyrannical dictator.
Well. This chapter has a lot to take in. A way to legitimize the official order of things, an organization extravaganza, making life difficult for the happy couple's seneschals, the next belated noble proposal, some backstory for Grace... This was a dense one. Enjoyably so.
I laughed at "the Princess and the Peon," and "other-Spike" says volumes about Twilight and her current state of mind.
I can see the loophole. It's a shame Twilight didn't. Well, she'll come to understand that soon enough.
So much crossover!!
Now I need to reread all the other stories! 
Damn you, Aegis Shield! 
Oh... wait... that's Georg... Damn you, Georg!
Where else did Jailbird appear??? I know I've seen him before, explaining all these thing about his life! Where?
What made the Shelter into the Jail? The CMC???
Typo: "as a two"
Hmm... The qualifier game, I love playing this. Let's see now:
I'm perfectly fine here in ponyville: guards will follow her outside ponyville.
After you finish your evaluation: her evaluation will not be noted as finished.
Anypony: her guards will not be equine.
Me: they won't be guarding her, they'll be guarding her home, her friends, her fiancée, her foal, etc. Pure coincidence she happens to be around them.
That many words that can be twisted? Twilight is clearly not a politician or a civil servant, they'd never dare to be so ambiguous in a sentence, unless they deliberately intended to be.
A loophole game in wording that completely disregards the spirit of the message ... really, Celestia? I think the two princesses themselves have forgotten to account for something in their "smart" plan - namely the immovable pregnant alicorn with moodswings. I have a feeling they will (and frankly deserve) find their "helper" (totally not guard) force swimming in Canterlot's lake soon enough and Luna will have to go pony-bobbing. Again.
The whole 'guarding the princesses' bit is silly anyway - anything sufficiently powerful to threaten an alicorn won't care much for a bunch of regular ponies pretending to play the hero. The most "help" they could provide would be clearing the line of fire. Guards are useful for policing the cities and keeping an eye on the citizenry and providing public order, not for providing actual physical protection to the princesses.
Ah, and so the flood of nobles who think to woo Twilight begins ... the fountain of Ponyville will see much increased activity in the weeks to come, I imagine. And Greenie actually has a file on each and every potential candidate that Twilight can leaf through on a moment's notice? I'm impressed.
And Papercut should feel lucky that neither of the young couple apparently noticed him snooping around Twilight's window while they were otherwise engaged. That would have gone spectacularly poorly (or spectacularly funny, depending on which side of the disaster you get to observe from).
And Ponyville's prison was awesome - an unused space (that still manages to somehow be stressful for the previous sheriff) run by a live-in prisoner who comes and goes as he wills, more or less? That's brilliant - I wonder what other bizarre facts about Ponyville's bureaucracy we will get to learn as this goes on.
Who do I see about getting in on the pool ? The betting one not the wet one.
Papercut.
Oh, Luna, you crafty little minx...
5752470 Like making a wish with a tricky djinni, one needs to be careful with their exact wording when trying to outmaneuver the Diarchs.
Oh. Yes, I know how they're going to do this. Why send a Pony when you can send Griffon foreign legionnaires (which, thanks to Pumpernickel, they have plenty)? You should really be wary of using species-specific language in a multi-species environment.
5752394
I'm pretty sure that the time will come when Peep Sprout will make a foreign ambassador blink by referring to the young Princess whom Twilight is carrying as his "baby sister" and make it clear that the Coalition of Hives would take an insult to her honour as an act of war.
So Twilight will not get any pony guarding her? What will they be? Changelings?
5752526 Jailbird appears in "Changlings, Love and Lolipops".
5752650
I recently read a story that explained that the purpose of the royal guard was not to protect the princesses but to instead keep order so that they aren't constantly mobbed by unruly pensioners, buracrats, noble's, whiner's and suck up's ( the last three are interchangeable).
I predict that the library will gain a permanent set of guards. The fact that they will also be guarding the residents will be a happy accident.
5753137
The problem with this is that Twilight can still simply send them away once they arrive - or teleport them all to the nearest body of water if she is feeling grouchy enough. Alicorn with hormonal moodswings and all that. That little ploy can only work for so long as Twilight lets it and doesn't amend her statement to fit the new situation when she realizes the game being played.
Frankly it was a bit of a prick move by the two princesses anyway, one that honestly should come to bite them one way or another - it's not like they can pretend they didn't actually understand what Twilight meant. Choosing to ignore that and instead worm their way around her wishes sends a pretty disturbing message to Twilight actually - that the princesses don't really care for her opinion and will twist and "misinterpret" her words in however way they wish.
That's not a pleasant message, and a pretty dangerous path to walk. As a wise pony in the show once said, losing a friend's trust is the fastest way to lose a friend - and this would clearly send the message that Twilight can't afford to always see them as friends but should rather consider them as bureaucrats first that need to be worked around rather than be trusted.
5753249
Indeed - they would make for useful "policemen" and otherwise keepers of public order, not physical protectors per se. But that's kinda the issue here - it almost sounds like she is being assigned a bunch of bodyguards and sentries - all of whom would be useless against what would pass for a threat against one of the alicorns - and only one platoon was mentioned for dealing with reporters and the like.
The rest would pretty much stand around uselessly, intimidate the normal citizens and only serve to annoy and stress Twilight as result - which is the opposite of their intended purpose, if they are meant to help the princess' keep her peace of mind. Twilight isn't Celestia nor Luna - if she derives no comfort from their presence nor the 'crowd keeping' services they provide, then their presence would only be a detriment, not a boon.
5752534 the guards aren't there to protect the princesses anyway. They're there to protect their assailants.
If a guard gets them they just get an assbeating. If they hurt someone the princesses care about, however...
5752650
I'm fairly certain Twilight doesn't need a guard anyway she and her fiends have done a good job of looking after themselves so far, she lives with a baby dragon, a fire proof more or less indestructible species from what we've seen, her friends include the fastest Pegasus alive, a reality bender, the younger sister of a pony who can pull houses around and not notice, three (four? I'm not sure if Discord is about in this setting) chaos elementals, a pony who made a dragon cry and Rarity. I think she's safe.
I can just see Changelings begging to come visit Ponyville for the brand new royal buffet that Twilight and Greenie are giving off. And Crosswind is an anti-changeling with her nauseau to love.
I can totally see Greenie, Nightlight, and Pumpernickel having lots of fun and joking while Papercut is a wheezing mess. I mean, Nightlight has probably been chasing his sons around the house and is in enough shape to keep up with them.
Twilight's method for dealing with troublesome suitors is hilarious, as is the town taking bets on time and splash radius. I can totally see repeat offenders being ambushed by the3 Crusaders, especially if they interrupt Twilight Time.
5753238 Oh, yeah... I remember thinking the same thing too when I saw him there... is there an earlier appearance?
5754501 To my knowledge, no... CL&L I believe was his first appearance.
5754493 You don't think Twilight could be... trolling Crosswind here, do you? :)
5753311 One must also remember that Luna and Celestia are rulers here. If need be, they could issue a dictat that four squads of Royal Guards be established in Ponyville for the direct protection of Equestria's youngest princess, no arguement, no dispute, just show up and guard that old oak tree and it's rather squirrely inhabitant. But it's so much more fun for them to play along.
5753163 Stay tuned for tomorrows release.
5752972 Said proper wording should include, "If that's all right with you, Your Highness..."
5752877 Argh, Chapter 3 and chapter 8 had that typo. Fixing.
5752526 Got the typo. Used Jailbird once in Letters From a Little Princess Monster as an aside, and a larger part in Changelings, Love and Lollipops
5755409
And Twilight could also renounce her title as a Princess, invalidating the whole thing, and probably sue Celestia over it because it was thrust upon her without her consent and create one hell of a fiasco - I'm pretty sure forced labor, compensated or not, is illegal in Equestria, right?
Doesn't mean that would be the smart thing to do, but hey - that's an option for her, the same way ignoring Twilight's wishes is an "option" for Celestia and Luna if they don't care one whit about her wishes.
Or are you suggesting that they are right in acting the way they did at the end of the last chapter? (and, by extension, that Twilight will not push back upon this intrusion on her privacy and that the older princesses will get away with it smoothly and without any ill side effect?)
And like I asked, is this the message they want to send? That Twilight's opinion and feelings on the issue don't matter to them, that she actually can't trust them to honor her wishes and that they will, if given the chance, twist her words and pretend to "misunderstand" her?
That she actually can't trust them as friends but should rather treat them as politicians who need to be worked around rather than confided in, and should double-check her speech for underhanded legal jargon that could be twisted against her whenever she speaks her mind to them? (And saying it's "so much fun" actually paints them in a worse light, because deriving amusement from deliberately taken actions that they know will make Twilight frustrated and uncomfortable borders on sociopathy)
Because frankly, Celestia's and Luna's response here has a number of pretty disturbing implications for Twilight and the nature of her relationship with the princesses, and it's a pretty serious issue if treated even halfway seriously.
5755520
I don't believe the Princesses are twisting Twilight's wishes at all... She has been a Princess for a while now, and yet they are only just now looking to establish a guard detail around her. Clearly, they are responding to something new, and I don't think it's the engagement part of the story. She likely isn't the one the guard will be most tasked with protecting.
Look who they sent to make the assessment... A pony who knows how ugly the kidnapping of foals can go. And not kidnapped by some world-ending threat, but by a regular pony who seizes an opportunity.
There is a great scene in "The West Wing" where the President gets fed up with his teenage daughter's attitude about the over-protected nature of her life with the Secret Service, and he rants about a dire scenario where she is grabbed and the entire nation and by extent the world is put into a crisis as the most powerful man in the world is negotiating from a position of fear because his little girl is God-knows-where with a gun to her head.
Now, your headcanon may be that a story like this can't happen in Equestria, but I would say that Grace's history says otherwise for this group of stories in particular. There are those of ill-intent that would look to exploit an opportunity if presented with one... Be they powerful adversaries, careful plotters, or simply the angry, sick and impulsive. It may be validly argued that it is irresponsible to the nation to invite such action with even the appearance of such opportunity.
Celestia and Luna seemed content to leave Twilight unguarded because, as you say, attacking/abducting an Alicorn hero who has dealt with all that she has is anything but a tempting opportunity. But a child of the Royal family is another thing entirely, and it is dangerous to leave a target exposed for those who would wish to hurt Equestria in general or its leaders personally. The need for a guard to discourage rash thinking may be an unfortunate bit of reality that Twilight must simply accept as part of the life of a Princess.
5756319
That I can certainly agree with - realistically Twilight won't be able to hover over her offspring 24/7 (though I'm willing to bet she will do her darnednest to try, magically or otherwise
) and some additional eyes watching her kid while it's going about the younger years of his/her life is only prudent.
There are three issues I have with this, though.
First would be the way Celestia and Luna went about this - instead of sitting down and having a serious conversation with Twilight about this serious issue, they are basically trolling her - during a time where she is already under considerable amounts of stress and coasting along on pregnancy inducted alicorn hormones. That's neither particularly considerate, nor the type of approach such a situation needs.
Secondly, there is still a long time before any of that becomes an issue - her foal won't be here yet for the better part of a year, so there is no rush to station disturbances outside her library by tomorrow morning. There isn't anything to guard yet. You'd think this currently non-important issue could have waited for a few months yet, until the wedding is over and done with and Twilight doesn't have to stress about that. Currently their presence would accomplish nothing aside from adding to her stress levels, which isn't something she needs.
Thirdly, if the safety of her future child is of concern, you'd think the more appropriate approach would be stationing more discreet forces in her vicinity, not having the equivalent of the National Guard show up at her doorstep. Something less intrusive and painfully obvious for any potential assailants to plan around.
The intent may be good behind it, but in such case the whole ordeal feels criminally miss-timed, poorly (or not at all) conveyed and lacks tact. For all intents and purposes, the princesses have decided to troll Twilight with it (or much like how it was with the convoluted inheritance law, feels like an artificial stumbling-stone for Twilight to step on for the amusement of the story), during a time she needs it the least. Their reaction at the end of the chapter was basically mean-spirited and childish ... I'd say teleporting them all back straight to Canterlot's lake (Greenie can attest that the water is nice) seems like a response of an appropriate maturity level befitting the whole ordeal as of this point in time.
Providing protection for Twilight's offspring is a legitimate concern I could readily get behind - but this is neither the time, the place nor the approach to go about it, which in turn reflects poorly on Celestia and Luna.
Karma, I'm sure.
Heh. He's just so annoyingly likable. Also, I can't wait to see what Pumpernickel might do to anyone who gives one of his sisters a hard time.
Greenie is so wonderfully organized, even if he doesn't marry Twilight he'd be perfect for any future royal staff she might have.
On a side note, I'm now 80% certain that Grace is the one of four who is a changeling.
I really appreciate that serving as Greenie's aide has some physical fitness requirements. I like how that aspect of his character has developed, and I can testify that it is true to life. Getting into shape is a strangely slippery slope. Three years ago I was a hundred pounds overweight and decided to do something about it, and now I'm training for a marathon. Even though I can list the steps that got me from there to here, I still can't quite pinpoint how and why it happened.
There we go, more or less what I was expecting. That definitely should satisfy the letter of the law, particularly if the letter is as specific as was established a few chapters ago.
Ohhhh, so that's how changelings are involved, I had totally forgotten about that other story until Peep Sprout was mentioned.
Oh lordy, the aspiring princes have started to show up. The fountain is going to get a good workout.
Hahaha!
By the way, how powerful is Greengrass' family in terms of their noble standing? I'm wondering if we're going to see any help from that quarter, surely that gives us at least one set of nobles who is firmly in board with the current engagement.
Technically speaking Greengrass does have an older brother, right? It's at least mildly traditional to secure alliances with marriage, and his family is now suddenly much more important with their somewhat unexpected attachment to the royal family. It might not hurt to at least introduce Honey Bear to them and see what happens.
Hmn, make that 85% certain.
5756433
I'm not looking to nullify your points, as they're not wrong, but here are some counter points as I see they could apply here:
As to the trolling nature of the Princesses acting like it is a game to overcome Twilight's decree, that seems to just be the style of the story and its characters. I can see it being justifiable as a way to try and accomplish what needs to be done in a way that distracts Twilight from the underlying issue that might bring a crushing amount of fear and stress to her pregnancy... The idea that the foal she is carrying will live its entire childhood in danger. Sitting her down and making her face the idea that her child may be the most tempting weak spot through which an enemy may strike, be they Tirek, another nation, or some guy off the street with a grudge might not be the best way to go for a pony who doesn't always handle problems that can't be cleanly marked off of a check-list as being dealt with, even when she's not unstable from massive hormonal influences in her body. If she's focused on it being a prank, or a war of wills with the other princesses, then she might not have to confront the fear directly.
As for the timing, I'd again chalk it up to the nature of the story to give the most dramatic potential. Justification-wise, I suppose that the guards will simply want the most time to work out all the kinks of setting up a new detail in a new town, getting everyone settled into the routines and roles and such while the child in question is still spending 24 hours a day encased in that powerful, intimidating Alicorn body. It's entirely possible that they would have insisted on a guard presence from the moment Twilight was married, as her husband would also be a non-Alicorn and potential target, and it would have given the guard a start on being established before any kids came along. They may already be well behind schedule because Twilight and Green Grass did things out-of-expected-order.
Finally, as for the showy nature of the guard, even the Secret Service acknowledges that they can't really stop someone from an assassination if said person is truly determined to find a way. There's only so much they can do and still let the First Family live their lives. So sometimes it's not about action, it's about appearances. As such, it can be better to have intimidating looking protection than super-skilled but invisible protection, because the ideal situation is someone not trying anything to begin with. The truly determined will not be swayed, but the merely impulsive will. They are the truly avoidable threats, but even they could get lucky if allowed to strike. Better to discourage them as a threat before any action on their part. Hence the 2 visible guard units to 1 undercover unit ratio that Grace recommends.
Hah! Excellent! Of course, Green Grass himself was plenty used to pulling that cart of his around
Jailbird is a brilliant, brilliant character
They should really just let him manage the place; there's no one better to do it anyway, and they already pay him.
...two years? Twilight, dear, if you were really planning that, you should've started that planning with looking into spells of the "family planning" kind. Something you so clearly neglected
Wow. She made short work of him
*Shakes head sadly*
That... was exactly the wrong thing to say. Been good knowing you, pal.
Ahh. The betting pool. They keep finding new things to bet on around Twilight and Greenie
'S a bad idea in general, you know. For trying to steal her hubby, Twilight would do a lot worse than chucking you in a fountain
I hope they washed it
Oh, that is just brilliant
So, they'll make sure she's guarded without her acceptance?
Jailbird is best pony.
Killing a monstrous murder to save a colt is not murder. At worst, it can be considered equicide in the defense of another.
I have another word for it though: justice. Though it doesn't happen often, there are a few times in life where there are beings that simply need to die. Running into a sociopath is one of those times.
The only reason why I don't advocate people becoming vigilantes against that is because of the laws of the land. However, I do think those laws should be changed, as the only good sociopath is a dead one. I know that most who have that bent don't become killers, but that's only because of their upbringing. The worst do, and every day they draw breath is a day where the rest of us are under threat.
Squeeeee! It's sunny! It's gotta be sunny
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Let's see. Fastest pegasus alive: Fluttershy (points at the few dozen baby bunnies she saved from falling to their deaths in 0.0000000000001 seconds). Reality bender: Fluttershy. (Points at said pegasus having a tea party with three manticore, five hydras, aforementioned baby bunnies' parents, 12 dragons, and one confused timberwolf). Younger sister of house puller: Applejack. Chaos elements: Discord. Fluttershy. Other? Made a dragon cry: Fluttershy. Rarity. What about Dash, Pinkie, and the CMC? Or are the CMC the other chaos elements?
Jailbird is so adorable.