Chapter 5 - Treading Water
The Traveling Tutor and the Royal Exam
Treading Water
There was dead silence in the study for a certain amount of time, just long enough for both alicorn princesses to look off into the distance in perfect synchronization as if the walls of the castle were made of air and there was something far away that drew their attention. Whatever they were looking at was fairly far up, and as their heads slowly turned to look down on a ballistic trajectory, they both sighed.
“Canterlot Lake,” they chorused.
“Predictable,” scoffed Luna, spreading her wings. “I shall retrieve our errant groom before he grows too waterlogged to wed. Celly, I cede thy student to you.” With a swirl of darkness, Luna vanished from the room.
“Oh, Twilight,” said Celestia with a small puff of frustrated breath, looking up and around as if she could see through the walls. “Where have you gone, my faithful student?” An exploratory pulse of locating magic sent out returned no indication of the young alicorn’s presence, much as Celestia had expected, and she turned to the room full of ponies who had been invited to witness the engagement, now blown to Tartarus.
“Pardon us, my little ponies. The expected engagement announcement I invited you here for will have to wait until we locate the participants. If you will please return to your normal schedules, I shall send notice of the next official engagement announcement once we have collected them.” Left unspoken was the desire for this meeting to have never happened, and the generalized nodding of heads showed the unspoken message was received just as clearly as the spoken one. There was one nodding pink mass of tangled mane in the back of the crowd that looked suspiciously familiar, but that was impossible, as Pinkie Pie was still in Ponyville.
“Excuse me, Your Highness?” Twilight Velvet stepped forward from the crowd and bowed. “If I may have a moment of your time. I know where my daughter is.”
* ♥ *
The center of Canterlot was composed of many of the largest buildings in the city, but it was not near the edge of the cliffs where the Pegasi Houses tended to cluster, or closer to the mountain side where the Unicorn Houses tried to one-up their neighbors in altitude. Instead, the city center was smack in the middle of the earth pony royalty who considered this ‘House’ concept to be a frivolous waste of perfectly good time that could be spent doing productive things like making money or… well, making money. More than one ostentatious ancient feathered or horned House would send a servant once a month on a quiet trip into the middle of town on a ‘social’ visit. By chance, that visit would directly correspond to the dropping off of a substantial bag of bits at some fairly normal-looking earth pony apartment in a subdivided mansion where their landlord lived in quiet middle-class comfort off the proceeds of their ancestor. After all, there was a reason the second earth pony Royal was known as Smart Cookie.
Princess Celestia still made the occasional visit to the larger noble Houses when they would throw some horribly expensive party for one charity or another — which was the only reason she would attend — but made it a point to visit this section of the city as often as possible. Today the ponies in the street were just as friendly as ever, dropping into a brief bow when she approached with Twilight Velvet at her side and waving with a smile as they passed.
Most of the larger houses in this section of town had been subdivided into apartments or lofts, making neat little tree-lined streets bordered with large rowhouses compete with the larger distinct mansions. Each house was adorned with a multitude of tidy planters and windowboxes where the families tried to out-bloom each other while the foals played in the abundance of green parks and clean-swept sidewalks under the watchful eyes of the neighbors. Wealthy ponies who gave an enormous amount of their income to charities rubbed shoulders with castle servants and all of the employees that made the city work, from the highest to the lowest in a wonderful harmony she truly enjoyed and wished the rest of the city would emulate.
House Twinkle was a modest section of a distinguished earth pony rowhouse, marked by a set of small banner flags out front displaying the colors and cutie marks of its inhabitants, including one fairly recent addition showing a crystal heart on a background of Cadence’s soft pink. Celestia suppressed a grin as they passed underneath the flags, noticing a single unused mounting spot, and she suspected if she were to search the house there would be a matching dull green flag with Green Grass’ cutie mark just waiting for the right moment.
“I’m sorry for the mess, Your Highness,” said Twilight Velvet as she hustled through the painfully neat house on her way to the kitchen. “Just make yourself at home and watch out for the colts.”
The motherly voice seemed to trigger a cascade of tiny hooves down the stairwell in a stampeding rush that Celestia thought certainly was going to wind up in a collision, only for Twilight’s little brothers to skid to a halt at her hooves on all fours with their bright shiny faces looking up with fascination at their guest. They were some of the most different appearing twins Celestia could remember, one being a light purple with a white mane, while the other was a dark blue with a shocking red mane, although both of them had the same piercing blue eyes as their brother, Shining Armor. Normally remembering names was one of Celestia’s strengths. Even after being able to remember the tens of thousands of ponies who had served in the castle over centuries, the two little colts kept getting mixed up in her mind.
Bending down to bring her face to their level, Celestia smiled at the awestruck little colts. “Good morning, little ones. Which one of you is Dusk Shine and which one is Dawn Glimmer again?”
They each pointed to each other, and in the immutably cute way of small children everywhere, grandly proclaimed, “Dusk!”
“Missus Velvet! The colts got away from me again! Did you come home early?” A young unicorn mare galloped down the stairs, concentrating on the little troublemakers to the exclusion of all else. She rounded the corner and skidded to a halt as she saw Dusk and Dawn playing hide and seek behind a pair of very unique golden shoes. At that point, she looked up, her startled expression looking astonishingly close to her bigger brother, right down to the wide blue eyes.
“Good morning, Frost,” said Celestia with a smile. “So nice to see you again. We just dropped by for a few minutes to pick up Princess Twilight. It seems her and your brother were making an announcement when they ran into some slight difficulty.”
“She really is pregnant?” Frost blinked as a smile began to grow on her face and her blue-white tail began swishing vigorously. “I didn’t really want to believe the milkmare this morning, but this is great news, Your Highness. I get to be an aunt, and Grassy will finally quit bugging me about being his baby sister. Did you hear that, guys?” Frost swept down and scooped up the two little unicorn colts in her forelegs. “You guys are going to be uncles.”
“Unka’ Grass! Unka’ Grass!” chanted Dusk and Dawn, waving their little forelegs around in circles and cheering.
“No, not that,” said Celestia, trying to keep the annoyance out of her voice as she tried to think of somepony somewhere who had not heard the pregnancy news yet. “He was going to propose.” After a brief pause, she added, “That will make you two brothers-in-law, not uncles. Yet.”
“Oh.” Frost leaned forward, sitting the little colts back down on the ground where they promptly began to chase each other around the dining room table. “That’s darned poor timing, pardon my language. I mean if he already found out she’s…” Frost sat down solidly on the floor, looking much like a slumping snowcone. “My brother is an idiot.”
Celestia could not argue with that, but decided to prompt for a better answer instead. “You don’t think that perhaps they got engaged at some earlier date and just didn’t tell us?”
An explosive snort answered her question, making both colts look over from where they had treed the family cat on top of the china cabinet. Frost shook her head, making her ice-blue mane cascade back and forth. “Not likely. He was supposed to propose the day after I helped him get the ring, but he chickened out. Said she was too stressed, but it was just after Discord returned, so I can see why. Then there was the day all of Ponyville got caught up in that Want-it-Need-it spell.”
“Hmm,” started Celestia, “I can see why that could have been a problem.”
“Then there was the day he showed up in town and the whole crew had taken off for Dodge Junction. Then there was Hearts and Hooves day when Twilight spent all day researching for any way to cure any aftereffects from a love poison. He said that just sucked all the romance right out of the day. I was so positive he was going to propose right after Princess Cadence got married, but then there was that bug thing, and he just refuses to talk about that day at all.”
“Understandable,” said Princess Celestia.
“Then there was the day the Crystal Empire returned, and the time he showed up at Ponyville only to find a big transparent bubble over it, that day she got wings, and of course the day he spent going up to the Crystal Empire a few weeks ago. I thought for absolute sure he was going propose then, but he came back all flustered. What are ‘humans’ anyway, Princess?”
“Nothing you need to concern yourself about, young mare,” said Celestia with a bit too much firmness.
“Anyway, he was supposed to propose for sure this trip to Ponyville. He spent the last few weeks working himself into a frazzle making sure everything was going to be just perfect.” Frost looked up at the princess and swallowed. “Just how exactly did Grassy manage to screw up his proposal this time?”
“Ah,” started Celestia. “I’m afraid I may have helped somewhat. But I’m certain this small inconvenience can be overcome if we all behave like rational adults.
* ♥ *
“I’m doomed!” moaned Green Grass, standing by the side of the lake in a widening puddle as water streamed off his sodden body and ruined vest. Even his hat had flattened down to a soggy mess and squelched when it fell to the wet grass at his side where Luna had dropped him after fishing him out of the lake. “Don’t bother looking for it, Your Highness. It doesn’t matter any more. I don’t deserve to be a father or a husband. My life is over, because I was too stupid to screw up my courage and step forward. Or kneel forward, I guess. Just leave it at the bottom of the lake along with my—”
“Found it!” Water fountained in all directions as the Princess of the Night burst out of the lake and curved her flight towards the despondent earth pony. Landing at his side, she opened her mouth like a Ponynesion pearl diver and levitated the small ring box out, opening it once to check on the contents before tucking it inside Green Grass’ soggy vest. After a shake of her sodden feathers that sent water flying in all directions, an indigo glow filled the area and in the blink of an eye their coats were dry.
“That was most invigorating, Lord Green Grass, but I think we should not repeat the activity until after your nuptials and the subsequent delivery of your offspring, so that Twilight can join with us for double the fun!” Luna fairly pranced around in a circle, singing quietly under her breath, “We’re going to have a wedding, a wedding…”
“Yeah. Fun.” Green Grass stood up and waited for a minute until Luna quit dancing around on the now-dry grass and tilted her head to give him a curious look. “I’m sorry, Princess Luna. I can’t marry Twilight now.”
“What!” Luna stopped in place, faint indications in her expression hinting that a volcanic anger was beginning to rise.
“It’s not that I don’t want to. It’s the law.” Green Grass took in the change in Luna’s expression from directed anger to slightly befuddled and braced himself to explain. “A few centuries ago during a bunch of tiny wars of secession, Princess Celestia put forward a number of inheritance law changes. One of the ones that got passed wound up being dubbed the ‘Stallion Saver Law.’ It’s a little complicated, but it works out to no noble mare is permitted to use a pregnancy to force a stallion to marry her. There’s a bunch of after-the-fact laws that apply after the birth to determine parentage and fiscal responsibility, but the offspring of such a union can never be considered legitimate offspring of the stallion, inherit his titles, and so on.”
“Why, that’s barbaric,” snorted Luna, glaring in a way that made Green Grass very glad he was not the target, for fear of his flammability. “Wouldst the poor babe be thrown out into the woods to starve?”
“No! The mother has the responsibility for raising the foal to adulthood, and the father, who is determined by the parentage spell at birth, is obligated to provide an income for the mother and the offspring sufficient as to maintain them in their current social position whether or not the birth mother and the father get married afterwards.” Green Grass swallowed, thinking about his relatively small bank account. “Twilight is going to go sparse. She’s never going to want to see me again. I think I need to ask dad for a raise in my allowance, if I’m going to support two princesses from my trailer in Wheaton. A big raise.”
“Well, that law doth indeed seem to have my sister’s hoofprint upon it,” mused Luna. “However, just because she cannot use her gravid nature to enforce matrimony upon you, does not mean you cannot be clasped into the harness of thine own free will, yes?”
“Actually. No.” Green Grass twisted one hoof into the damp grass underneath him and scowled. “Unless a stallion has proposed before he discovers she’s pregnant, they can’t legally be married until after the birth. And I’ve mucked up my every opportunity in that regard. She probably will never want to talk to me again. I’m such a failure at parenthood. If only I had proposed first instead of trying to find out what was wrong…”
A warm hoof rested on his shoulder and Green Grass looked up into Luna’s soft teal eyes. There was almost none of the frightening Princess of the Night about her now. Instead, she was just a comforting friend who was concerned about both him and her fellow alicorn princess.
“You cared for her needs and your future offspring more strongly than yourself. That is not the mark of a poor mate, but rather an indicator of an exceptional one. Do not look back on events with the wisdom of hindsight and wish for a chance to do it right this time. Instead, treasure your good fortune and seize this opportunity to make your family happy together in the future.”
In the blink of an eye, the Princess Luna who had once been Nightmare Moon was back, and her voice firmed with an edge of command. “Now, we shall not mince words. If Princess Twilight will have thee as a mate, we shall move the very heavens to see that it is done before the birth of thy offspring. And, of course, we shall make thy wedding a much more organized occasion than thy in-laws. No changelings shall threaten thy joyous occasion under the protection of my glorious moon.”
He could not help but chuckle for one brief moment before Luna’s eyes narrowed and Green Grass cringed under the intense scrutiny. “Dost thou think a wedding under the stars is humorous?”
“No! I mean…” Despite his best efforts at hiding his expression by putting on his squishy hat and adjusting it, Green Grass continued to smirk slightly. His changeling encounter could be considered humorous by a pony with a twisted sense of humor, and although Luna was a prime example of the term, he had no intention of telling her about it. He took a deep breath and tried to divert attention away from his embarrassing incident. “I’ve had quite enough of changelings for any two lifetimes. I can really sympathize with Shining Armor about — never mind.”
Luna took a step forward until Green Grass could feel her breath across his nose, looking down at him with those sparkling teal eyes and her horn pressed against his damp hat. “Speak.”
* ♥ *
Twilight Velvet’s kitchen was a spotless model of the modern Equestrian gadget-filled and heavily used food preparation room, with delightful odors wafting out as Princess Celestia dragged herself in. There were crayon marks covering her pristine white flanks, a few sticky gummy candies tangled in her ethereal mane, and she limped ever so slightly where one golden-armored shoe had found itself slightly outmatched by a small plastic building block with sharp corners that had lurked unnoticed in the carpet until just the right moment to spring its ambush.
Twilight’s mother was just pulling one tray of cookies out of the oven as Her Royal Highness entered the room, and the cookie-making process did not even pause as a wet washcloth levitated over to the disheveled princess. “I swear those darned blocks are a criminal conspiracy by the Minotaurs to hobble every adult pony in Equestria. Would you like a cookie after they’ve had a chance to cool, Princess?” Twilight Velvet turned away from the oven where the baking tray of fresh cookie dough had just been put in and looked at a suspiciously innocent alicorn who was standing next to a full tray of hot, freshly baked chocolate chip oatmeal raisin cookies.
Well, an almost full tray.
“Mo, I’m fime,” mumbled Celestia without a single cookie crumb falling to the floor, perhaps one of the most amazing accomplishments of her reign considering the size and temperature of the hot cookie missing from the tray. One quick swallow later, she asked, “So how is baking cookies going to find Twilight?”
“Oh, she’s upstairs in her room,” said Velvet, stacking the dirty dishes in the sink and running some warm water. “As soon as the cookies are done, we’ll take them up with some tea and have a little mother-daughter-princess talk.”
“I suppose I could get the tea,” said Celestia, looking around for the kettle.
“It’s in the icebox.”
The sounds of scrubbing filtered back from the sink as Celestia opened the icebox and regarded the tan plastic container with healthy skepticism. “I could make some fresh,” she volunteered.
“I just mixed up a fresh pitcher this morning,” called out Velvet over the sound of cleaning dishes. “Is it gone already?”
Celestia levitated the large pitcher of amber liquid from the icebox and took a sniff. There was the distinct odor of tea, but there were also a great number of other ingredients that did not belong anywhere around proper tea, such as the distinct tang of lime, the faintest hint of cinnamon and more sugar than water ought be able to hold.
“Don’t forget the ice cubes.” A set of four tumblers came floating over to the table in Velvet’s magic and sat themselves down next to the pitcher of tea and the cookie plate.
Celestia regarded them with a look of bland tranquility, as if they had somehow managed to insult the universe with their very presence and she was attempting to determine the correct apology. “Are you certain you don’t have a kettle, Missus Velvet? It really would not be any trouble at all to brew up some fresh.”
“Heavens, I don’t even know if I have any tea leaves. Just the instant stuff from the store,” said Twilight Velvet, scurrying over to the stove and pulling out the last hot cookie tray. It only took a few moments work with a spatula and the ice cubes before the two were headed up the stairs with four glasses of iced sweet tea and enough cookies to slow down an invading army, although Celestia still cast furtive looks around the house as if a tea service with a few leaves might possibly be concealed behind a chair or bookshelf somewhere.
“Twilight, honey?” called out Twilight Velvet with a gentle tap at an otherwise plain door sporting a thaumaturgic radiation warning sign. There was a long stretch of silence while they waited, and two more cookies vanished mysteriously from the hovering plate. Finally, the rustle of papers could be heard and the door gave a click, swinging open without a sound to reveal a room Celestia had never seen before. Admittedly, she had developed some theories on Twilight’s decoration sense from her sparsely-decorated and heavily-booked room at the castle, but until now she had never really considered that her student might have been holding back on decorating due to being in a borrowed space instead of her own.
Posters and scientific charts of all types battled for wall space with bookshelves in an all-out war of square footage that was being fought to a stalemate, although it seemed to Celestia’s eye that the books had a slight advantage in numbers, if the strategic reinforcements packed away in neatly labelled storage boxes were counted. Twilight Velvet threaded the maze of books and boxes to the bed and placed the cookie plate on top of the wrinkle-free covers before picking up one of the ice-filled glasses of tea and passing it under the bed, along with two warm cookies.
With the lightest of magical touches, Celestia slipped the nearby bookshelves and boxes up against the wall to give space for her bulk, and after a moment’s thought, a little more space for her sister whenever she showed up. She settled down at the tail end of the bed, picking a cookie and glass of ‘tea’ out of the air as Velvet floated them over to her. Out of a sense of respect for her host, and the calm reassurance that she had most certainly eaten and drank much more suspicious materials during her centuries of diplomatic dinners, Celestia touched her lips to the warm plastic of the glass and took a very small sip.
It was, she decided, a substance with distant relatives in the tea family, perhaps second cousins twice removed on their mother’s side. It had the redeeming characteristic of being sweet, somewhere between a three-lump cup and cake icing, while still maintaining a faint aftertaste of tea leaves crying out for recognition of their vain sacrifice. To prove her resilience and support for the terrified would-be bride, she took another, slightly larger sip and followed it up with a warm cookie to drown out the taste.
“Twilight,” started Celestia in the calm voice she had found evoked the best response from her student, “perhaps if we were to start over again, we could get a better grasp on our problem.”
“I thought about that, Princess,” sniffed Twilight Sparkle’s voice from under the security of the bed. “But Starswirl’s Chronal Inversion spell wouldn’t let me go back any farther than a day to warn myself, and it didn’t work out all that well the last time, plus I don’t know what effect it would have on the foal. Or foals. I could wind up being caught in a time loop and experience the same thing over and over and—”
“Another cookie, dear?” asked Velvet, floating another warm cookie under the bed where it vanished to the sound of crunching and the quick slurp of tea, most likely to quench the aftereffect of hot cookie.
“Ah,” said Celestia, “that’s not quite what I was intending.” A thought crossed her mind, and she asked, “How long have you known that Greenie had that ring?”
There was a faint sniff before Twilight Sparkle responded. “The day Discord returned. He always keeps it in his front jacket pocket with all of his smaller toys for evaluating students so it kept poking me every time we hugged, and Spike kept getting this drooly expression every time he showed up. At first I thought Greenie was just bringing him a snack, so I checked with Rarity’s gem-finding spell to make sure he wasn’t sneaking Spike opals again. Turns out it was barely one full carat in a princess cut with a thin gold band. To be honest, I was a little disappointed until…”
The musical tinkle of ice cubes broke the quiet as both Twilights took a drink and Celestia followed suit, somewhat surprised to find that the glass was halfway empty. A faint crunching and another quiet slurp later, Twilight continued, “Prince Blueblood cornered me in one of the castle reception rooms today. He had this huge lump of gold and diamonds that was some family heirloom from back from in the days when mares must have had necks like corded steel. When he tried to stuff that monstrosity onto my…” There was a pause as one purple hoof emerged from under the bed and gestured. Twilight Velvet put two cookies on it and watched with a sigh as it returned to the darkness. “By the way, your nephew is a jerk.”
“I never would have guessed, Twilight.” Celestia nibbled on a cookie with royal delicacy. “Did you know that when Luna returned, he attempted to court her in much the same crude fashion? She stuck that ring up his…”
The Princess of the Sun paused, trying not to smile, which worked fairly well until Twilight Sparkle said in a low growl, “Me too.” There was a subdued crunching from under the bed, after which Twilight added, “After his proctologist gets the ring removed, I hope he has it cleaned.”
“Twilight?” Celestia tried to peer under the dark bed. “Luna stuck Blueblood’s ring up his nose. Where did you put it?”
The silence that followed spoke volumes, and Velvet floated three more cookies down to Twilight’s hiding place.
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Ah, Green Grass act like a rational adult? Heaven forbid!
I hope I hit the Fave button. Hard to aim when you're laughing this much.
5724625
Simply changing/updating the laws does not one a tyrant make, though, that's an exaggeration. Really, it's Celestia's job, as is that of any decent government, to do just that - to make sure that the country's laws keep up with the times and remain relevant as time goes on as the country's needs, goals and culture changes and grows.
Laws are specific things that are implemented in order to address specific issues, as dictated during the times of their conception. But just because something was perceived as issue several hundred years ago doesn't mean it still holds relevancy in present time and may, in fact, act more as a hindrance than help as far as the modern populace is concerned, or even advise actions that border on unlawful itself by modern understanding.
For example, a hundred-something years ago in the US it was considered misdemeanor and a fine-able offense for an unmarried couple to cohabit under the same roof. In fact, if memory serves (because this recently came up in the news), there are three states where the law is still technically in effect because no one has bothered to go through the legislation to remove it - just that no one bothers to enforce it anymore. But it could be done, because it's technically still in the books - is this considered acceptable for modern sensibilities though? Yeah, I'm sure it seemed like a great idea at the time of its implementation and fit the social climate of the era, but by today's standards most people would view the law itself as unlawful and a relic of times long since passed.
Would the government be tyrannical for striking the above mentioned law from the books for good? Or would it be considered it actually doing its job and keeping things updated and relevant for the modern society?
Same case for this legitimacy law - whatever issue it was created to address, Celestia could easily declare it's time to make changes to it in order to keep up with the times. In fact you could, nay - should, make a case that the law is needlessly convoluted (which it is) and needs to be revised on those grounds alone and smells like something that actually was created in order for someone in a position of influence to weasel out of an issue they were having, given the very specific and convoluted conditions it imposes. Examination of the circumstances surrounding the law's inception might actually be in order to verify just that.
So, nah, I can't quite agree with that assessment.
Ha!
Now who here thinks Princess Celestia should substitute THIS guy as Prince Blueblood's proctologist?
2.bp.blogspot.com/-eVfOFM-ROVE/UVNDFhrR82I/AAAAAAAASQM/4Q2-PpyLRpI/s1600/vegeta+1.png
"Well hello....."
i.ytimg.com/vi/mXpdE-OEchE/maxresdefault.jpg
".... Blueblood."
Green Grass has the closest relationship with Murphy ( of Murphy's law fame) of any being that I have ever met or read about. I am also happy to see that Twilight got to the bottom of Bluebloods proposal.
5725040
Oh, you
Hm, wait, so does that mean that "the only thing she could think of doing" meant biting him, then stuffing his own ring up the creek? Seems like Twilight wasn't quite as witless during that moment as she would have liked us to believe
Heh. The other tribes can look down on earth ponies all they want, but it seems they have the rest of ponykind right where they want them. A stratagem worthy of Ankh-Morpork.
Hmm. Seems Greenie has had an interesting history with changelings. And with Ponyville. Therein lies the problem with being an adventurer; your non-adventurer friends and loved ones have to try to keep up with the crises.
I loved seeing Twilight Velvet and Celestia combine their Twilight Sparkle-managing abilities. And I admire Celestia's sacrifice. I like sweet tea, but I know that was a major sacrifice for her. Also, I knew Legos were the modern answer to caltrops, but I never imagined they could penetrate the royal sabatons.
As for the legal issues... yeah, I don't see those stopping determined alicorns. Heck, this might be the perfect time and reason to reevaluate the laws. Though making a legally binding definition of love is going to be very tricky.
Poor Twily! For all her intelligence, experience, power and wisdom, she's still a foal in emotional terms, isn't she? Naturally, having done something bad, she'd be found hiding under her bed like a filly trying to avoid a spanking!
Blueblood has always been a trend setter! Colonic jewellery! Who else could have come up with such a thing?
Okay, I think I can see Tia's solution and I also suspect it will make a huge number of government attorneys rich beyond their imaginings over the next, say, fifty years of arguments in and out of the Supreme Court. Because Twilight was aware of the existence of the ring and because there is reason to believe that no less a personage than the God of Chaos interrupted Green Grass's original proposal: vis a law that renders all events that occurred as a result of Discord's... ah... 'episode' null and void, it is arguable that Green Grass actually proposed to Twilight then. That it was interrupted by a sudden dose of chaos is meaningless (at least in strict legal terms).
Yeah, it's a very long stretch. That's why I talked about two or three generations of lawyers made rich. All Tia has to do is smile, apologise, explain that she is powerless as even the Diarchs are bound by the law and let the marriage go ahead.
5724925 The issue is the nobility, and their messed up sense of how things are supposed to be. I am willing to bet that the arranged marriage law change was fought tooth-n-nail by the majority of the houses, just because it would disrupt their sense of how things were supposed to be.
5725209 Actually, the legal issues stand. If either Diarch were to circumnavigate the written law over the other lawmakers' heads, they will be viewed as tyrant playing favoritism.
That said, what's to stop them from finding a way to make the law work in their favor, hmm? I won't ruin things with my knowledge of what will come to pass in this story, but somewhere buried in old blogs or old story comments is a hint from Georg on just HOW they do that. Needless to say it is not only amazingly brilliant but will have you holding your gut from all the laughing on just the way they pull it off.
5724925
I would argue that changing the law, purely to help her friend / student would be more the mark of a tyrant. If Twilight wasn't Twilight and Greenie Greenie would the law have gotten changed?
The law has a function to prevent a stallion being guilted into a hasty marriage, if that function is needed then the law shouldn't be changed because its awkward for Twilight.
5725273
It sounds like Greenie technically did propose, only it turned out he proposed to a changeling disguised as Twilight. I think that'll give Luna plenty of wiggle room to get things sorted.
On another note, the end of this chapter--I REALLY wanted to give the story another upvote <3 So good.
I really love your version of Twilight's family.
5725680
Just because an incident involving someone close to you exposes a flaw in the system isn't an excuse for not fixing said flaw, though. It's Celestia's job to do exactly that - to push and prod and adjust the laws and ways her country is governed to best suit the present needs of her citizenry. She wasn't a tyrant for introducing the law in the first place, and she would be no more of a tyrant for making adjustments to it because issues with it have become apparent at some later point. It's both her duty and prerogative to do so.
Furthermore, the law was created to deal with issues plaguing the nobility specifically (brought upon nobles themselves), not because it was a problem with the population as a whole. If it serves as more of a disruption than help these days (especially among ponies who are outside the target demographic because of whom the law was implemented in the first place), then it's actually pretty imperative that changes and qualifying statements get introduced to said law.
At first I thought Luna had won this particular contest. But then I remembered that ponies have larger nostrils than humans do.
Which is somewhat less than fully relevant here, as Green Grass isn't really the one with the impressive titles here.
I'm guessing Luna jammed something much large than the ring up where the son and moon don't shine.
I love Twilight's family, especially her new little brothers and how Frost has taken to the family so well as to be a great baby sitter. I also love the Earth Pony area of Canterlot, it says quite a bit about Twilight's family that they prefer to live there instead of in the Unicorn area.
5725233 I like this solution. And I think even Discord would approve.
I wonder if there is wiggle room if they can show intent to propose only for a last minute reveal. Because frankly? I can see room to abuse the provision 'no marriage/legitimacy if the stallion is told of the pregnancy first'. Want to hurt a rival? Be sure to inform him of the mare's status on the way to propose.
Welp there doomed.
Oooo, so Twi didn't teleport them to the same place, that's not going to be good for Greenie's confidence.
I hope that Pinkie really was at that meeting, and that she'll be working this problem from her own direction. Couldn't hurt. Well, it might hurt, but with a hurt/help ratio tilted substantially towards help.
Night Light and Velvet had the twins in this 'verse, too? Awesome. I also really like that Frost is the foalsitter, that says a fair bit about how close the two houses are getting.
Gotta love how much enthusiasm Luna puts into bobbing for earth ponies and for engagement rings. It's kind of a Mary Poppins approach, make the job a game and all that.
Hmn. As controller of the sun, I think the best solution here is for Celestia to officially declare the current date and time to be five days ago, allow Greengrass to propose, and then set the clocks back. That way the engagement will have officially happened five days before Greengrass finds out, and the law is sidestepped. Doesn't help the potential societal issues, but at least it Take care of the messy inheritance and "We can't get married" issues.
Fresh baked cookies? Great plan, mom.
Love the image of Celestia, set just a bit off balance by the twins' energy (and treacherous building blocks) and Twilight Velvet's strange idea of tea. (I like iced tea, don't care for sweet tea, and neither is at all like hot tea!)
It's nice to see how Twilight has grown. Even with things so bad that she has retreated under the bed, she manages imperious demands for more cookies and clearly communicates her feelings about Blueblood's proposal. (Can unicorns FEEL things they touch with thier magic? Eew.) She also doesn't seem to be panicking about Celestia being in her room, though I suppose she may be panic-saturated at this point.
It's clear that everypony close to either Twilight or Greenie, as well as both of them were completely aware of his intention to propose. Surely they will find some way to wiggle around the legal difficulty caused by a little bad timing.
5725680 The purpose of the law was obviously twofold. First, it prevented an unscrupulous mare from sleeping with a noblepony just in order to wedge herself into the family with the threat of producing a bastard heir, and second, it prevents a stallion from abandoning any carelessly created progeny without supporting them in the manner to which their mothers previously held. It probably also cut down on the rather ruthless methods some of the more Royal families would take with unauthorized by-blows, including knives in the dark.
5728798 Yes, she is growing. Soon to be growing even more, particularly around the middle. (snerk!) And it's blatently obvious he was intending on proposing. He had the ring out quicker than a cowpony drawing a gun.
5728486 Celestia always seems to take things to seriously, while Luna is having a ball with this. She's probably looking forward to spoiling the future little foal rotten.
5726591 I have many days to cap in this fashion. Think of me as a habidasher.
5726585 Just because the sun and moon don't shine there, doesn't mean that Luna can't make at least one of them shine there, if given enough of an incentive.
5726154 Yeah. You tell Twilight. I'll just be waiting behind this concrete barrier.
5725735 And they're *not* modeled on my family. We're just ordinary people.
5725714 Yes, but if only there was a way to *prove* that....
5725250 Fought? Nay, they would fight *for* that law. It preserves the power of the family and keeps bastards from worming their way into the family tree. (after all, there's enough of them in the tree to start with)
5725233 You're just not thinking like an alicorn. And Colonic jewellery? The purpose of jewelry is to show it off. That's going to be a little... difficult.
5725209 I'm intending on showing much the same with the Night Pegasi too. Tight-knit clans with intelligent investment plans can do amazing things.
The Dusk and Dawn twins seem pretty precocious - just how old are they in this story anyway?
Between them, Star Gazer, and Twilight's expected offspring in a few months, you have a great new cast of characters. Should keep you writing for years and years.
This is an awful lot of head canon you're throwing at us, Georg. First a bunch of new OCs in every chapter and now even more brothers too?
The writing is great but it's as if every chapter is taking us further and further from the source material for no apparent reason.
No offence, but that's the bloody stupidest law I've ever heard and sounds like nothing more than an attempt to inject drama where there would be none. Having to deal with a pregnancy, rival suitors and marriage between the two is drama enough without contrived marriage and inheritance laws.
You know... it was an utterly dumb idea to do that whole proposal announcement thing without giving the two a chance to speak in private first.
I knew exactly which song this would be before even clicking the link
Fun to see a pony version, though. Didn't expect that
That... hardly seems to imply you CAN'T marry her just because she's pregnant. With some investigating, there's plenty of evidence that he bought the engagement ring long before her pregnancy was known
And, since when have they cared about titles and all that?
Well. That's just dumb...
Ooff. *Nyer winces*
Where's the [Dark] tag for this story, Georg?
Saw that coming
Someone's not a fan of iced tea
Ohboy. It's instant? Haahahaha!
Yup. That's Twilight all right
Well. I guess, rationally speaking, the nose would be the more painful place to stuff it. Unlike the, ahem, other thing, noses aren't supposed to stretch
Remarks and corrections:
> just long enough for both alicorn princess to look off into the distance
"both alicorn [princesses]"
> but since it was just after Discord returned, so I can see why.
I think that either the "since" or the "so" shouldn't be there.
5856460 The 'Stallion Saver' law is a way to enforce family control over an inheritance, so the heir to the house doesn't wind up being seduced by a mare in heat and winding up having a little something inheritable on the side before he sires an *appropriate* heir. It also saves the life of the naughty pregnant chambermaid, because she's no longer a threat to the family fortune, and allows two houses to join forces without any distractions.
So after GG's botched announcement, the law states that they can't legally be married until after the birth of the foal, which is the big thing, and that the foal can't be considered an heir to the Chrysanthenum fortune, which is a teeny little thing. Of course, if they could somehow prove that GG had actually intended and tried to ask for her hoof in marriage before the 'unfortunate announcement' then the law would not apply. A photo would do.
FYI: I counted months on my timeline. He held onto that ring for nine months, +/- a few weeks. The universe had built up a fairly good Pavlovian reaction for him in that every time he attempted to propose, something disasterous happened. Fortunately, he's stubborn.
Oh, and I fixed the two oopses.
5857992
Hah. And the one time he actually manages, it's to a changeling
btw, "Royal Exam"? In all honesty, and in more than one meaning, this story should really have been called "The Traveling Tutor and the Royal F*ckup"
5858061 You have to admit, both of them are pretty well tested in this story.
6903763
Can't deny that, I supposed.
IMO, you mean spare?
8811421 I've always heard it as sparse around here. I wonder where the phrase comes from.
8811669
The one I've been told is the Cockney Rhyming Slang "spare tyre=ire."
8811669 Where is here? In England at least 'going spare' is definitely the term for getting furious.
I didn't realise it was from cockney rhyming slang, but I have no better answer.
On a very tangential note, EqG Spring Breakdown, what the blue blazes is Ragamuffin's accent supposed to be? If it's supposed to be a cheeky, chirpy cockney, it makes Dick Van Dyke sound like a master of impersonation. It wanders all over the bloomin' place.
It's almost like a rite of passage.
I solemnly swear that I did not bust out laughing at this part.
9593481
I saw a YouTube interview with Dick van Dyke and he said that his voice coach for Mary Poppins was an Irishman.