Still waiting to hear back on my albatross application.
On a day of remembrance, a new threat arises, shedding light on old mysteries.
This follows Two Pair by about 700 years, but is not a very similar story, and reading Two Pair is not necessary to understand Sparkle Day.
Thanks to Themaskedferret, Nekonyancer, Avox, Horizon, MeridianPrime, and Yamgoth for prereading.
Thanks to Page Turner for cover art.
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Sweet! This looks like it will be a fun ride.
You're giving me too much credit as "prereader"; really I just got early viewing access, though please keep me in mind for future feedback.
The big benefit of reading it early is that I knew weeks ago I'd be following this. High princess adventure, ancient mysteries, and epic dragon-smashing badassery -- what's not to like? Looking forward to seeing it unspool!
This looks like fun.
Looks like an interesting start. I wasn't expecting for Twilight to show up so early on, and was even thinking Autumn might have been someone associated with her disappearance rather than the princess herself. I'm not generally a big fan of mystery through denying the reader knowledge held by the viewpoint character, but in this case I suppose the circumstances of Twilight's apparent death might reasonably not have been at the top of Celestia's mind, and in any case the new situation has enough to offer on its own. I look forward to seeing where this goes.
A couple of editing points:
That was troubling. wyverns were not known
"wyverns" should be capitalized
Maybe three.” Lumen replied
That period should be a comma.
Can't wait for more, I absolutely loved Two Pair.
Very interesting! This promises to be a good read.
Very promising! Your princess characterization is quite deft, and I'm looking forward to more.
I haven't read the rest of it yet, but holy shit that's good opening line.
Okay, that whole thing about the first line being brilliant? The rest blew it out of the water.
Loved Two Pair; similar or not, if this is in the same universe and features the same (non-time-traveling) characters, I'm already hooked for the duration.
This might not have many views or upvotes yet, but when your first 8-9 commenters have an average of almost 500 followers each, chances are you're onto something.
I knew Autumn Wind was Twilight, but how did you make me uncertain of that theory? You must be truly clever to do that.
Okay. Yep. Consider me hooked.
Loved Two Pair, Love this. Can't wait to see where this goes.
Yeah, that was a pretty great start. Consider me along for the ride.
Loved Two Pair... looking forward to more of this!
At the end you started using italics and then forgot to remove them. Very engaging read so far, and I'm eager for the next chapter.
5652605 Fixed, thanks!
Oh, ouch.
The plot, as they say, thickens. To steal from a modern philosopher, the Sisters got 99 problems but a wyvern invasion ain't one. Except that it is. So really, they've got a hundred problems, and only one pony interested in solving the first 99.
5653436
It's a good formula, one which I most associate with a use from another ponyfic:
I'm having some trouble right now because although there are some elements that are catching me, there's no character I'm particularly interested in becoming emotionally attached to: everyone (but Lumen, who I'm mostly taking as an audience stand-in and plot device so far) is coming off as nasty in some respect or another, and part of the reason this is showing through is because all the characters are making predictably bad decisions. The problem is that it seems like most of the details that would justify those decisions are buried in the past, far from the reader. I guess that goes with the story that's being told, though.
The dynamic in this is fantastic - I especially like how all three princess are viewed from an outsiders perspective through Lumen. Not much else to say her - this seems more of a setup chapter than anything else. Very good setup though.
Also, since whenever I read this story I hear this song in my head, I figured I'd share it with the masses - especially since the lyrics actually seem somewhat appropriate:
Dang, things seem to go poorly for future Spike. I think we knew that he was dead (or at least that he probably was) from the first chapter, but now we have a how and it isn't a happy story at all.
Lumen needs to start slapping princesses til they stop being jackasses.
So glad to have been given the opportunity to pre-read this - looking forward to the next chapter!
Also, Luna is going to get it.
Lumen just had to ruin the happiness, didn't he!
Inb4 the sequel is tragedy/Slice of Life.
Nice chapter!
Celestia, Luna, maybe Cadance, but whose the fourth? I would say Twilight since Celestia must know she's alive due to the events of Two pair, but she obviously doesn't know where she is.
5668111 Lumen isn't just a flashlight, she's a pony who sheds light on the situation. Or at least that's my prediction.
Dang, seems like centuries of incognito living haven't dulled Twilight's magical skills. Anyway, I'm clinging to the hope that she wasn't forced to kill Spike with her own hooves, because damn would that be sad.
this is technically a well written story, but it doesn't quite feel true to me. It takes minor foibles and turns them into primary character traits
just found this story and Love it so far!
5826300 Give examples pls.
5827269
it's hard to say without retyping huge chucks of dialogue. But basically look at the conversation on the Cirrus. For one the setting of the scene sets up the princesses as controlling, since the Captains never get to use their own office, and wasteful since it talks about how much empty space there is. Now after setting the scene this way they proceed to have the Princesses have a conversation that highlights their personalities in a way that's easy to get annoyed with them, Luna being overly aggressive while Celestia is trying to plan everything
"Even among her enemies Celestia, did not have the reputation of a killer. She certainly didn’t think of herself as one. Still, she’d killed more than any other pony in history. Violence, she believed, was a symptom of poor preparation.
Complacency was a better description in this case. Her vigilance had faltered, and now these wyverns would pay for her failure."
That is... I think the best perspective on violence I've ever seen an Equestrian espouse. Favourited, just for that.
5827413 I guess so. Never thought about it.
Wait... you're following a goofy romantic comedy with a dark, violent adventure?
Sheesh, it's like "The Best Night Ever"/"That Platinum Crown" thing again.
It'd be like "Animal Farm" being the sequel to "Charlotte's Web"!
Radical tonal and thematic shifts between directly related stories generally aren't a good idea.
Nitpick:
Let's
Favorite part:
(Can't find a weapon)
Nerd badass is the best kind of badass.
5827413 I get what you're saying, but I don't happen to agree that the example is a good one. Maybe it was intended to be interpreted the way you did, but to me it's more the fault of the ship's designers, who are assuredly not the Princesses. Or maybe the room in question is just poorly named. When the admiral is on the flagship 90% of the time, why would you fail to account for the captain and admiral both needing office space?
5830658
This is all just buildup to the M*A*S*H crossover space opera that will finish the series.
5830738
Fixed, thanks!
Well, here's hoping that Twilight's random try of turning Lumen's magic off is accidentally what she needs to recover, or at least to not get any worse.
This extended family of immortals is so dysfunctional. Not really quite what one would want in the immortal rulers that you depend on for not screwing up the sunrise everyday.
*whistles*
Yikes, there's more details about what happened to Spike, and it's not looking good.
Even better, his death is directly the excuse that this elder dragon is using to throw down the previous agreements with Equestria. This particular future AU is definitely living up to its Dark tag.
Dang, Twilight's negotiating tactics. "Does anyone else want to negotiate?"
5831769
It wasn't until this very moment that I understood how utterly banal and lackluster this world of ours is without a space opera pony crossover with M*A*S*H.
But that's for after all this, right?
Not exactly active, right now ?
6280013
I have no idea what you mean! It's... still April, right?
(writing is hard)
Tragic; very tragic. But I'm grateful for the additional backstory. Looking forwards to more.
A mix of answers and further questions. I did enjoy this and do hope we see more to come, soon. The biggest issue seems to be the source of the Sisters's endless bickering - will we see a root of that, eventually?
Why do I get the feeling Luna wants to pursue a relationship with Twilight, and Celestia keeps finding reasons to say no?
Really well done sadness here.
6325116
I was thinking the same thing and it's not going to help Luna's resentment that theoretically she doesn't have the power to say no to that if the other two want it.
6325116 - Re-reading the passage, it seems more like Luna has a thing for Twilight that she DOESN'T want revealed. Celestia keeps trying to get Luna to tell Twilight the truth, but Luna is resisting, forcefully... for whatever sort of masochistic self-penance thing she needs...
Cryptic, but interesting... I have plenty of questions left, of course. Does Twilight not remember her romance with Luna? From the events of "Two Pair" it began long before this drama with Spike, yet looking back over the story I can't help but notice that Luna reacts with great passion over Twilight's loss as if it was (or should be) more personal to her (locking herself away for Sparkle day, being incredibly indignant that Celestia would keep these events from her), but Twilight doesn't really seem to behave quite so strongly towards Luna, interacting far more with Celestia instead. I can't help but wonder if the decision that the original Royal pony sisters let poison their relationship had something to do with this.
I'm also curious as to what happened to Cadance and the Crystal Empire. Her absence was already a question mark, and now we know that the Empire has vanished again too.
Despite finding the story too confusing to favorite at the moment, I AM intrigued enough that I decided to start tracking it.
Uh-oh... Things are looking rather grim. Some very interesting ideas at play here... I really like how the use (or lack thereof) of dragon-fire communication is playing a strategic part in the conflict, leaving the Equestrian forces at a heavy disadvantage. It's a clever bit of world-building applied to what is shaping up as a really interesting conflict. I can't wait to see where it goes... So much so that I'm okay with the time skip and all of the questions it leaves hanging.