A Journey Beyond Sanity

by Darkwing Dust

Chapter 164: Parental Intervention

This was stupid...

"This is stupid..."

"Mmhm."

And embarrassing...

"And embarrassing..."

"Mmhm."

And totally demeaning...

"And completely-"

"Demeaning?"

"Is it that obvious?"

Twilight sighed. "You've only made mention of such the last, let's see, fifteen times since the station? Your distaste is rather apparent by this point." And could you possible blame me for that? "We're almost there anyhow, Jack, so complain naught any longer!"

At least someone's enthusiastic about this. My only saving grace isn't that Rainbow wasn't currently around to poke fun to our method of, as my girlfriend leading me downtown put it, 'fitting in' through the bustling crowd of posh and lively Equestrians. All somehow not even noticing the strange, hunched-back 'pony' in a cloak with front fists for hoofs accompanying the renowned Princess of Friendship. I guess everyone's knowledgeable to the fact that the young alicorn keeps unusual company around.

Doesn't make this situation any less dignifying, though.

My monkey ancestors would be laughing at me right about now.

Didn't assist in the matter by me almost falling over a few times with Twilight barely managing to prevent those tiny incidents. This whole affair was her idea to begin with, planned all the way from the train ride to this kingdom which I hardly felt comfortable being in at the present time. My focus was either on the ground or Twilight's lovely long tail amidst the walk through the busying kingdom. My initial surprise spawned from the fact, upon arrival, our destination wasn't the castle judging by the path Twilight led me down.

But my growing suspicions grew more and more grimly confirmed by the exact location I was well aware of and we were nearing with every step. Meeting Celestia was the last thing I desired, but now suddenly I was beginning to warm up to the idea of interacting with the same mare whom has assured my demise unwittingly rather than where we were heading.

"Reconsider this." I practically pleaded for another time upon rounding a corner, the dreaded modest building in sight, catching up beside the purple alicorn and almost stumbling over in the process, a few glances my way from the action alone. "You might still be needed for royal duties back home."

Twilight's smile was anything but reassuring. "Schedule's all clear and all royal business accounted for. I double checked."

Damn... Ah! "A friendship dispute might suddenly pop up and you'll be required to solve it."

"Good thing we have friends back home whom we can trust with certainty to handle any sudden dilemma."

"...They might not be home?"

"They are. I checked beforehand." Violet sparkling eyes glanced my way. "And they're very eager to see you again."

I couldn't resist scoffing. "As an Earth Pony, perhaps..." Because suddenly envisioned screams and calls for help with plaguing my mind, and I was all too tempted to turn tail and run back to the station before the next train leaves. Anything sounded more appealing than this forced confrontation planned by my stubborn girlfriend.

Said girlfriend paused as we neared the front door, finally turning to face me completely with a wry smile and hoof to my lowered arm. "It'll be fine." Will it though? Will it love? "I know them, and they won't judge you for as you are now, Jack. They already love and accept you as though you're family. Just humour me on this, okay?"

Well... Seeing as I didn't have enough choice in the matter now anyway. I sighed deeply, nodding slowly from beneath the hood. "The second they start screaming, I'm out of here."

Twilight only smirked faintly and faced the shut door, opening it without any knocking as though she owned the place. I stood there, dumbfounded by the risque action before following the mare inside. Well, I suppose in a manner of speaking, she did own the place.

This was, at one point, her only home...

"Mom! Dad! Are you home?"

A few seconds of silence, Twilight's call after closing the door magically being answered with nothingness. Welp, I'm not complaining! I glanced to the alicorn with a grin. "Guess you were wrong. Wouldn't be the first time, let's go home-!"

"Twilight!"

As if those were the magic words, voila! Two parents appeared from the next room, greeting us but mostly their pleased daughter with thrilled wide smiles, the mother embracing the lavender pony for a few seconds with the father following suit. With her own massive grin, Twilight looked between the two adult equines standing before her with a jovial attitude. "It's so great to see you both again! It's been a while since Hearth's Warming!"

"It's always wonderful to see you again dear." Velvet answered with sincere blissfulness. And, finally noticing the man wrapped in a cloak behind her second child, the grey-ish unicorn blinked. "Oh! You mentioned you were bringing company in the letter. A new friend of yours, dear?"

Wait... They didn't know who was accompanying her here...?

Night Light smiled curiously towards me. "Aren't you going to introduce us, Princess?"

Twilight what the Hell?!

The alicorn only smiled rather slyly and walked up to my side, one hoof grasping the shoulder of my beige cloak. "Why certainly. Mom, Dad, you're already well acquainted with this man. In fact, you should recognize him by his grumpy bleak outlook on everything."

Reminding myself that the door was already close behind me... Ready to flee just in case...

Both ponies exchanged puzzled glances, before slow realization dawned on their equine features. Twilight only grinned... And thoroughly pulled the shielding fabric off with one effortless attempt.

Gasps.

Why you do this?

Seriously Twilight, why condemn me to this? Was this payback for not letting you turn human? Because of how I've been behaving recently? Was putting me in this position really worth the repercussions following afterwards?

A deep silence settled straight after the two adult ponies reacting in pure shock, bewildered pairs of eyes gazing back at my stunned hazel look. Oh great, they were speechless. Thanks Twilight; the alicorn in question whom was currently observing back and forth, obviously expecting something fruitful from all this. Y'know, aside from her parents being horrified by what has become of her special somepony.

Wait, the door was right behind me... I could leave right now and Twilight couldn't stop me-

Damn. The Princess quickly sent me a stern expression after clearly picking up on my desire to make a hasty retreat. Well what did she want me to do? Stay and be gawked at by her mommy and daddy?

Seriously. Just what were you trying to accomplish here, love?

"Stardust...?" The mother finally spoke up quietly, sounding as stunned as her current features. "Is that really you...?"

My mind immediately reacted, heading straight to 'retreat' mode, as my body finally stood, flinching a little by my back popping into place again. "Hello Velvet. Night." I grinned sheepishly, my heel twisting a little to prepare for my quick departure. "So wonderful to see you guys again! I'll just... Leave you to catch up with your daughter, bye!"

"Stardust, wait!"

My entire body winced, freezing in place by the command of Twilight's mother, the family seeming to have that whole effect on me somehow. I refused to turn, however, keeping my back facing the pair of Equestrians. It's bad enough they saw what I originally look like, so let's spare them the pain of gazing at this ugly mug any longer.

Of course, the family had a penchant for persistence. While I glared at the ground with clenched fists, Velvet had decided to approach and walk around to meet my gaze, blue eyes shining in recognition after a few moments of silence, my breath halting. No, they didn't deserve to witness me like this. Again Twilight, what was your goal here-?

What? The motherly equine motioned for me to lean down for some reason, and as if by mental command, my body obeyed, probably out of obligation for the alicorn behind me. As I knelt before the grey-ish mare, Velvet had the courage to gently cup my chin and keep my gaze firmly locked onto hers, her own clear blue eyes searching.

And then enveloping me into a surprising embrace.

"It's so good to see you again dear." Ah... My arms couldn't react, brain jumbled in utter confusion and taken off-guard by this unexpected approach from the equine. After finishing the comforting hug, Velvet stepped back with a light, affectionate smile which had me inhale sharply. "Twilight, you should've told us it was your special somepony. I would have prepared everything much sooner!"

She... She was acting as though nothing was wrong...?

A dark blue hoof then appeared on my shoulder, making me jump somewhat. Night seemed both bemused and concerned by the reaction, but this time his rather moonlight eyes looked over me briefly for any sign it's me, settling on my hesitant blue-green gaze. Velvet walked over to join their daughter, watching the proceedings. After about a minute, the dark blue unicorn grinned lightly and provided me space, stepping back with a warm tone aimed directly towards me.

"You always come with surprises son, every time we see you." I could only blink, whereas Twilight chuckled by my lack of composure, but beaming in satisfaction all the same. As if... This was anticipated on her part. Night smiled kindly, speaking in both warmth with a touch of playful firmness. "I hope you've been taking good care of our Princess since the last time we met each other, Stardust."

Despite myself, I smirked faintly back. "As I keep saying, it's Twilight who's been taking good care of me." Said mare looked away at that, eyes showing a different story in contrast to my sincere words.

Night, oblivious to that response, nodded with an endearing look to his beloved. "That sounds about right. In this family we always seem to be needing taken care of by the mares. Where would we be without them?"

Velvet beamed cheerfully, already turning back towards another doorway. "Why don't we prepare dinner a little earlier now? You must both be hungry by the trip. Twilight dear, we cleaned up your old room just before you arrived; as neat and organized as you left it. Why don't you and Stardust head upstairs and settle in. Oh, you will be staying for a bit, I hope?"

Twilight nodded happily. "Of course Mom." And motioned for my hapless state to follow, my brain still trying to keep up with what was even happening. My legs turned on automatic mode, standing up again to follow after the pleased alicorn Princess towards the nearby stairway.

"No funny business while up there, you two!"

"Dad!"

I barely mustered a tiny grin.

---

It was like walking into the same room back home, or at our old library. Spacious, cozy and piled with books, charts and various scientific equipment neatly placed in corners and desks across the room. Twilight marched into the old bedroom as though she never left it, smiling in pure bliss while her utterly perplexed and unsure boyfriend stood by the doorway, opting to lean against the wood as the Princess explored childhood surroundings.

Twilight proceeded to breathe in the atmosphere, letting out a happy exhale with violet orbs sparkling beautifully. I was still reeling over from what just happened downstairs, and who could blame me? Events were going faster and without the patience to let me keep up.

Something eventually caught the mare's eye, and Twilight gasped in surprised enthusiasm. "There's my old 'Guide to Level Three Advanced Magical Practices!' I haven't read this since two weeks into learning from Princess Celestia!"

They just... Accepted me. As though there was nothing wrong.

"Oh, my original crafted star chart I made when I was eight! This was for preparation of my first sighting for a meteor shower." The young alicorn sighed in fond reminiscence, regarding the paper before her. "I'll never forget how magical that moment was."

Did she not tell them? Why? Why surprise them and potentially make me feared even by them?

"And is that... It is! My first ever 'Basic Magic for Beginning Unicorns!' Mom and Dad got me this on my second Birthday upon my first successful spell." Twilight added with a sheepish grin my way. "It was growing a full plant from its seed. Not as hard as many would assume, all things considered."

What was she attempting to achieve? Why bring me here? Another one of those incidents where Twilight acts without properly thinking thoroughly? Brilliant and intelligent as she was, this alicorn was no stranger to acting on emotion over logic plenty of times... If not all the time.

Looking back to memory lane, Twilight spotted a board nearby and grinned widely. "My first theorized answer to the elusive common cold spell! You won't believe how long it took me to find an answer... Only for practice to end in complete failure. Spike wouldn't stop sneezing for weeks." Inspecting the old blackboard with aged chalked writing and drawings, Twilight rubbed her chin with a thoughtful smirk. "Although, this was a while back. It's not too late to re-evaluate the formula again and improve where I left off, though I doubt Spike would be all too happy to be a test subject and somehow winding up getting another long cold again, huh?"

One look at my stare, and back to the board.

"You're right. Maybe we should until I have more spare time. Although I should have some leftover notes laying around-"

"What were you trying to achieve?" I finally compelled myself to ask after my mind started operating functionally enough again. "Celestia's castle, you said, with the prospect of your old mentor finding a positive answer to my situation."

The alicorn sighed, dropping the enthusiastic facade and sending me a wry grin. "Because I knew you would never leave your room if I said we were going to see my parents instead." With good reason! Twilight turned back to her old bookshelf. "As for what I was hoping to achieve - and I seem to have succeeded in that regard - which was helping you grow more comfortable about your present predicament by showing that there are still many ponies outside of Ponyville who see you for who you are as opposed to what you are."

"You gambled their affection for me in hopes of them seeing past my unappealing features." I scowled lightly, folding my arms with stern disapproval and taking a few steps into the room, feeling as though I was walking on holy ground. "Twilight, you know how easily your kind judges by appearance alone. Was it worth the risk?"

"They're my parents Jack; I wouldn't have done this had I not known them enough to risk it. So in answer, yes it was worth the risk." Twilight rolled her eyes in exasperation, glancing my way with a small endearing smile. "They love you almost as much as I do, of course they wouldn't turn against you regardless of how you presently look. What were you expecting them to do, turn you away and shut you out?"

Considering how I've been treating you of late, Twilight, that'd be doing you all a favour. Instead, I could only shrug hopelessly, prompting the mare to sigh and place a dusty book back, walking my way with a hoof to my knee.

"Trust me on this, Jack." She smiled lightly upwards. "You need to see for yourself how loved you are despite your appearance. And besides, you're not as hideous as you often tend to exaggerate."

"I look like if Eddie Murphy attempted to look more like one of his iconic animated roles." Regardless, Twilight's infectious breathtaking smile was getting to me, inciting a small grin in turn.

Shaking her head, the Princess stepped back and added, "Just humour me over dinner. You'll see. You'll be treated as though you were never changed back into a human to begin with." Uh-huh. Then, Twilight's attention was brought on something else close by, her gasp with childlike excitement. "My old telescope!"

My eyes followed the alicorn blissfully inspecting her old device which looked like a size for toddlers, which was probably the case considering how young Twilight was upon her first interest in the stars.

Give them a chance... I sighed.

This just screamed nothing but negativity... Though likely from my negative nature for the most part. Still, I suppose I better indulge them. After all, how often have those two ponies downstairs given me a chance despite my own constant [BEEP]ups?

"Jack look! This was the first set I practiced the size spell from!"

---

Well, dinner was... Nice.

At least, nice for them. Awkward as Hell for all me. Twilight chatted with wild enthusiasm towards her loving parents, both at fond rapt attention by their Princess's passionate words and gestures, recapping events since we've last met at Hearth's Warming. I, meanwhile, was currently poking at the salad on my plate with the fork, not really feeling hungry nor motivated enough to take a bite. Unlike their meals, mine was specifically filled with healthy food humans regularly consumed, which I imagined Twilight was responsible for consulting her mother with beforehand. Always taking care of me even when I'm not looking.

Huh...

Just occurred to me I referred to Christmas as 'Hearth's Warming,' again. I must be going native.

Tch, Hell, I've been going native for a long [BEEP] time now. Here I was, eating dinner with talking cartoon ponies, one of whom I was currently dating. The kind of trails life leads you down and ending up in unforeseen conclusions. Did I regret any of this though?

No. Never.

But I'm starting to regret agreeing with accompanying Twilight here, because the longer I stayed the more painful this was becoming. It wasn't too long back that I was reminded of my own mortality in that hospital room, by Starswirl's affirmation.

It then became noticed by me that the three equines were regarding me intently, prompting me to look up and ask rather sheepishly, "Sorry?"

Twilight smiled in weary endearment, Night smirking knowingly whereas Velvet giggled, the unicorn repeating herself. "Twilight was just telling us about your last little date together near a lake. I understand you have some prejudice against water."

I blinked, recalling that exact picnic we had not too long ago. "Yeah." I smirked in amusement by the reference. "Large bodies of it anyway."

"Jack never taught himself how to swim." Twilight added casually, prompting my raised brow.

"Oh I tried learning, believe me love. It's not exactly easy."

"Neither is it too difficult." The alicorn sent a coy look. "You simply weren't trying hard enough."

Oh, we're doing this now? I smirked back at the teasing mare. "I seem to recall you having trouble doing a simple lap when Rainbow dragged us to that swimming pool in Cloudsdale. Don't talk to me about practice love."

Twilight didn't rise to the bait yet, tilting her head with an unimpressed look. "At least I made the attempt, rather than sit by the edge of pool looking downright miserable."

"I couldn't miss watching the great Twilight Sparkle fail at something she attempted to learn spectacularly." I grinned widely. "Seriously, watching you splash like an untrained fish in the middle of the pool was beautiful, love."

That struck a nerve. "I simply just need to practice some more before I get the hang of it."

"Yeah, just try not to drown in the water like you do with books."

The Princess opened her muzzle, but the further banter was interrupted by the lighthearted chuckles of two adoring parents. Night spoke first, "Shining and Cadence often bantered, but this is rather entertaining. Dinner and a free show, wouldn't you say honey?"

"Watching our daughter and future-in-law express their affection for each other this way? I'm inclined to agree dear."

My hand holding the fork froze. Of course, Twilight being Twilight, the mare flustered brightly at that, her lavender cheeks lightening in pinkness. "Mom, Dad, please! We-We haven't gotten that far ahead of our relationship to consider something like that yet..."

"Well do hurry up meanwhile." Velvet proceeded to tease her offspring mercilessly. "I'm fine with having one grandfoal already, but an extra or two wouldn't hurt..."

"Not too soon, I hope." Night interjected with a stern grin, regarding his daughter's bright reddened face. "I want my little Princess to keep being little a short while longer. Although, while we're on the subject of future children..."

"Should we really be having this conversation over dinner?" Twilight asked in exasperated embarrassment, staring desperately towards her amused parents, whom shared a look and Velvet then grinned rather mischievously.

"What better time dear? After all, you're reaching that age where such matters should be discussed-"

"Mom!"

"Your mother raises a valid point, Twilight. I mean, who knows what kind of intimate activities may spring to mind as your relationship together develops-"

"Dad!"

Normally I would be chiming in, adding to the red-faced Twilight's further embarrassment, not too flustered about it myself with the confession that I wouldn't at all mind with their suggestions. However, those would've been for entirely different circumstances.

Because right now, the thought of putting Twilight through any of that made me sick to my stomach.

As I look at this happy family, so carefree and teasing each other with content and peace in their hearts, just like the rest of this world and its inhabitants, it only painfully reminded of the slow agonizing fate reaching up to meet me. Starswirl had confirmed it himself, a while back, and my little heated exchange with Sunset back at Canterlot High only incited me to stray back from this current pleasant conversation between flustered daughter and loving parents, reminding myself as to why I was even having dinner with them to begin with.

Because Twilight thought I deserved such happiness.

Meanwhile, my body was slowly reaching into the cold embrace of death.

And as that's happening, I was sitting here, eating a well-done meal with ponies I've considered family for a long, long time now. My fork settled onto my plate, unable to eat at all with this lump of guilt and regret choking in my throat.

I couldn't do this.

There was no reason, at all, for me to ruin their peace.

The sound of my rising brought out their family discussion, all three heads turning to me curiously. "Is something the matter Stardust? You look... Pale." Velvet inquired with a faintly concerned brow.

"She's right Stardust. Was the conversation too much? We're sorry if so."

So kind... So loving... And here I was taking advantage of it.

"Jack?"

My tired eyes turned to the purple mare. "I can't do this love." And addressed the whole table again with a wry smile. "I'm not really hungry, sorry... Don't let me ruin your family moment." And made a hasty departure out the dining room before anyone could possibly stop me, intending to leave them to their own peaceful nature without these constant reminders making me bring despair and misery to the table.

It was too much... Far too much.

---

It's not fair.

Now, I hated sounding like a whiny brat but... [BEEP] it, it's just not fair.

Time and time I try, I make every effort, every attempt, every blood and sweat I could possibly muster, even if it's not up to standards with regular humans. But no matter how much I put into making this work...

It all blows up in my face.

My palms tightly pressed against the surface of the wooden clean table, inside the rather tall library of the house. It was too much, seeing Twilight so content and oblivious to the situation around here. In fact, it's a downright wonder how flexible she and everyone else was regarding these pressing matters.

Zagreus was still around causing God knows what despair out there.

Imbalance everywhere.

Ponies in trouble.

My slow death as a human.

And what were the girls still doing, despite all these things and being oblivious to simply one of them?

Throwing parties.

Showing off.

Making clothes.

Kicking apple trees.

Helping animals.

Studying magic.

Flying kites.

Making gem cakes.

Still keeping true to who they are despite the present situations surrounding them. They never waver from their natures, always staying true and just no matter how dire the circumstances may be; marching onwards with smiles and heads held high... And it made me all the more envious of their hopeful nature.

It just wasn't fair. Here I was dying and depressed and rendering all my hard work to have a happy life in a world MADE for happiness null and void. All because I agreed to Celestia's baseless hypothesis and being trapped as full human again. I was going to die sooner or later, without any warning, and my friends will suffer because of it.

Once more, I make them suffer because of my own selfish reasons. I just wanted to make things easier for Starswirl above, whom has done so much and asked for very little in turn aside from cleaning up the odd imbalance here and there. And because of this casual desire, it'll be my friends who'll endure through the worst of it.

What Twilight will endure...

"Press any harder and you might catch splinters."

I scoffed at the male tone behind me. "As if I deserve anything less..."

My corner vision caught blue fur and sympathetic yellow eyes. "What makes you think you deserve to hurt yourself?"

Oh, want a list? "How about we start with the fact I haven't been living up to your promise enough and taking good care of your Goddess of a daughter?"

The stallion hummed after a moment of silence, obviously taking those words into consideration. "Funny, because Twilight's been claiming otherwise this whole time." Of course she has. She's good like that. "Then again, she's always hated believing in anything bad around the ponies she loves."

My eyes clenched shut, head bowed while leaning onto the small desk for support.. Yeah, no need to tell me mate.

"But what makes you believe you're not taking care of her well enough?"

Aside from the blatant lie I keep telling her and everyone around me that I was fine and completely healthy? Despite that, my voice found itself unable to provide a coherent answer, simply releasing a noise of uncertainty instead. Reluctance, fear maybe. Only Starswirl's words came haunting back.

In essence, there will emerge moments of the magic halting from sustaining your being, temporary if I can help it. But the further you remain in this form, the more magic I must borrow in order to maintain your health. Unfortunately...

"I just... Don't deserve her." I confessed instead, unable to hide the despair after opening my eyes and glaring with self-loathing at the wood below. "Never have, never will..."

"...Maybe we'll never be deserving for the mares we love." The dark blue unicorn eventually said, sounding weary and humoured. "Heh. It's still wonder how she even decided to settle down and start a family with this awkward bookworm..." I grinned lightly at that, at least, my body deciding to sit down beside the stallion, feeling as though he had more to say. And so Night did, placing a blue hoof to my slumped shoulder. "Do you love her?"

Was that even a question? "I'd die for her."

"Have you been keeping her happy to the best of your ability?"

I'd like to think so. "I'm trying my best."

"And would you, given the option, vow to protect and care for her for the rest of eternity together?"

"Yes." The answer flew from my mouth before there was even a split-second to think about it, surprising myself with a perplexed blink. It's like my heart reacted before my brain did, predicting that question for a long time now.

"As I can clearly see, with this." My hand was grabbed, presenting the small jewel on my ring finger between us, Night smiling proudly. "So if you ask me, in my humble and expert opinion, Stardust, you do deserve my Princess. And Celestia forbid anyone tells you otherwise."

My eyes stayed fixed on the ring, having refused to remove it ever since I swore to Twilight that promise back in her room, that I wouldn't actively confront danger alone any longer... And sorta broke that vow on the unexpected confrontation with Midnight. But that was small potatoes. My hand slowly clenched, the amethyst gem glittering radiantly against the evening rays of light shining through the windows.

"You gave me hope, a reason to exist. Our friends contributed, but you most of all gave me that precious gift of all. I promise to love you until the end of time. I'm not Flash Sentry, nor Timber Spruce - Thank goodness there - I'm just your plain, autistic meddler who attracts trouble. But I will do everything to keep you happy for the rest of my life."

My hand lowered, prompting Night to ask next with knowing eyes. "Twilight came here in hopes of getting advice from her parents to help the one she loves and cherishes." I flinched at that confession. That explains much more. "So, what holds you back this time, son? Surely it's not simply becoming what you originally were which makes you assume you're no longer a suited match for my daughter."

"I'm dying."

I don't know what prompted that. Maybe it was the pride, or the encouragement, or the vague hope he was giving me, but something deep within incited me to confess the truth to this stallion and this stallion alone, for the time being. For some reason, it was Twilight's Dad whom I was confessing this secret to rather than Twilight herself.

Possibly because I just needed to tell someone, than the one who will feel absolutely guilty over it.

"I'm not sure when, I'm not sure how sudden it'll be." I regarded my pink hands solemnly, my voice quiet and defeated, but rather glad I was sharing this with another. "But the longer I stay in this form, the longer it'll kill me. Literally. There's a reason I became a pony here to begin with." My gaze slowly looked up to the stunned dark blue stallion, watching me with pained sympathy. Sounds about right. "And since Twilight partook in Celestia's spell to keep me a pony..."

It all dawned on him. "The conclusion she would reach being that she's partially responsible for your fate, and such knowledge would destroy her."

I nodded tiredly. "And that's something I can never put her through..."

Night shared the look; a longer, searching look that penetrated my wounded soul. "I understand." Yes, I imagine you do. "Still, Twilight deserves to know. Sooner or later, the truth will come out." Don't remind me. The dark blue unicorn then grinned lightly, somehow despite the revelation, making some small attempt to decrease the seriousness of the situation. "Still, I know she'll find a way. Twilight would never give up regardless of the challenge. She'll save you."

"I wish I had your confidence." I sighed, looking away again in weariness. "I could have a heart attack right now and drop dead, for all I know."

Another round of silence, the saddening news sinking in. For now, Night was the only one to be aware of this, and I'd rather it stayed that way. But knowing him, Velvet would probably be alerted of this revelation sooner than later, likely tonight or after we're gone.

"Then don't waste another minute."

Huh?

My head turned to Night in surprise by the sudden firmness, the tall stallion resting another hoof to my shoulder and adding whilst leaning forward, yellow eyes blazed in resolve. "Spend every moment you have with the ones you love, rather than wallow in self-pity and despair. Twilight is devastated about what you're becoming, what you're doing to yourself. I see it in her eyes, when you left the table earlier, when she confessed to us all her worries and frustrations, terrified of what's happening to her special somepony. You want to keep Twilight as happy as possible without being alerted as to what's honestly going on?" The unicorn released an encouraging grin. "Stop making it so obvious, then, and spend the rest of your evening here in the company of your worried sick Princess."

That sounded more of a command than advice. But something in the stallion's eyes had prompted me, then, to slowly rise upwards above the pony and straighten myself, slowly nodding. He's right, making it too obvious wasn't helping favours.

The dark blue unicorn grinned up to me then. "It's always a bad idea to try hiding your real feelings away, Stardust. Trust me, mares can always sniff them out."

I had to laugh shortly then. "Jack."

He blinked. "Hm?"

"That's my real name... Jack." I shrugged at his earnest surprise, grinning lightly. "I suppose you'd rather call your future-in-law by his true name than anything else." Although, clinging onto the vain hope such a reality would one day occur...

"That does explain why Twilight constantly calls you that." But Night was beaming happily anyway, as if my statement was a confirmation to something. "I hope you'll give my wife and your future mother-in-law the same honour as addressing you such too."

At that I laughed even more with the stallion. Hardly an honour, but why not humour the man... Or stallion?

---

Turns out, Night did inform his wife.

How was that made obvious? By the tight squeeze the grey unicorn delivered as night fell and we all retired, the parents having offered us to stay the night. Imagine Twilight's pleasant shock when I eagerly accepted the offer, winking playfully to the alicorn who clearly felt as though she was missing something. Velvet had small tears in her eyes and whispered reassurances through the hug that everything will be fine, which I only nodded and smiled to, hoping that would please the mare enough to get a decent night's sleep.

Shining's room hadn't changed much last time I slept over here. Jesus, that was years ago. Ever since, what, when Celestia kept me in Canterlot for a while after the Grand Galloping Gala. Laying on the unused bed brought back far too many memories; recollections of my younger, more wary self with no hope or planned future for himself.

Heh, back then, I simply wanted to die, just for merely existing. Because I believed not even life in Equestria could make me much better.

Which brought me to this door right now, hesitantly raising a hand and rapping on the wood with my fingers. Good Lord, I hope she doesn't get too annoyed from me doing this, with midnight looming so close...

"It's open." A slightly tired voice called out.

Welp... Time to face the music.

Twilight's room was as well kept and organized as seen earlier, with the alicorn in question turning to the open door curiously, a book resting on her sat-up lap against the pillow with her horn being the only source of light, illuminating those puzzled gorgeous and innocent features with magnificence. I was almost tempted to turn tail and leave.

"Jack?"

"Hey love..." I replied rather meekly, grinning and gesturing behind me. "Sorry for bothering you. I'll leave if you're busy-"

"No, no! It's okay, it's fine." Twilight sounded genuinely surprised and relieved by my flustered behaviour, motioning for me to approach after magically shutting the door behind me. Oh great, I'm right in her clutches. Curse your bewitched entrancing beauty, Twilight! "Is something the matter, Jack?"

"I... Couldn't sleep." At least, not in that room. Too much reminder of past events, and I had enough on my plate as was. "And I... Well, seeing you always makes me feel better, so..."

Okay, Jack, next time try a more plausible-sounding excuse... Christ.

But Twilight seemed deeply amused, and flattered, by the response. "Guess we both have a lot to think about." No kidding. The alicorn proceeded to pat the edge invitingly, and my feet pulled forward without further prompting, gently taking a seat on the bed without invading her personal space too much. My body then stiffened by the sudden warmth on my left hand, Twilight's hoof brushing over it rather protectively. The Princess smiled by my earnest reaction. "Usually I'm the one who's nervous whenever we do this."

I could only smile lightly. "Things change, Twilight."

"Yeah..." The mare answered rather solemnly. "They do..." Well, good work Jack. You ruined the moment just like that! Twilight immediately changed the subject. "Although, considering how long it takes for you to sleep, this is the first time I think where you've actively sought me out in the middle of the night."

"You know how much I hate bothering you when you're busy."

Twilight smiled lightly. "You know I'll always have time for you, Jack."

My free hand reached forward, brushing against the mare's fuzzy right cheek affectionately. "I know... Still."

She chuckled, leaning into the touch with a soft smile. "I was starting to worry, you know, that you being human means we wouldn't be able to share moments together like this..."

I smirked. "Twilight, love, I was always human."

"That's not what I meant and you know it."

...Hm...

I suppose I have been lately regarding physical contact. Guess that's just another sign of how unworthy I felt for Twilight at this moment, even here and now, stroking the mare's warm cheek which she comfortably resting into. My other hand turned around and gently grasped the mare's covering hoof, prompting her gorgeous smile to widen all the more.

"Though I'd never object to moments like these, honey, I can't help but think you're trying to hide something."

"Nonsense." I snorted in attempt of convince, grinning teasingly. "I just want to keep my special Princess as happy as possible, especially with how I've been behaving these past few weeks since becoming this abominable form again."

This time, it was Twilight reached forward, cupping my own cheek with a fuzzy and somewhat ticklish hoof, the mare inquiring softly. "Your trepidation is understandable, however the abomination remark is debatable. You look pretty handsome to me."

"That's not even funny Twilight."

"Who's laughing Jack?" But we were both smiling happily, just enjoying the moment and presence of each other's company. "What did you and Dad say to each other earlier?"

Some things I'd rather not reveal, not yet anyway.

However, while on the subject, there was a matter I knew had to be addressed, something I've been neglecting to focus on during my own inner dilemmas. Night wanted me to look after his daughter? So I shall. Because I knew, for certain, regarding my own special somepony whom was trying to hide it herself.

I wasn't the only one feeling guilt.

"Twilight." By then, both hands were on her front hoofs, keeping them place on the soft duvet between us, my hazel eyes keeping a stern lock on curious and waiting violet orbs, Twilight knowing from tone and stare alone this wasn't something to jest about. "It wasn't your fault."

Immediately, she knew. "Jack-"

"It wasn't your fault."

The Princess blinked, but sighed and shook her head with a weak smile. "You don't have to try and make me feel better, Jack, though I appreciate the attempt. We can't deny I'm partially, if not entirely, to blame for what's become of you-"

"It's not your fault." Don't even attempt to cover up for your mentor's mistakes yet again. If anyone else can be blamed for my inevitable death...

Twilight frowned. "It is my fault-"

"It's not your fault."

"Yes it is. Jack, that's far enough."

"It's not-"

"Yes it is!" The Princess snapped, growing more irritated and exasperated, but the reflection of sadness beginning to glisten in those round eyes. "Stop pretending I can do no wrong and face facts-"

"When have I ever pretended?" I retorted right back, keeping a firm grip on her hoofs, but not enough pressure to potentially hurt the mare. Never. "But this was not, and never will be, your fault."

A depressed sigh. "But it is, can't you see that?" Twilight sounded tired and desperate next, looking just about ready to cry whilst pointing out. "I played a part in turning you back into something you despised, making you weaker and more vulnerable, distant and turning you back into the old Jack! You're an easy target for Zagreus, and it's all because I just wanted my Warrior's life to be easier...!"

My annoyed expression softened, feeling my heart begin to shatter all over again from the tears threatening to fall down those stargazing eyes. "Twilight..."

The Princess sniffled, looking away with pain and regret present on her features, the true guilt revealing itself. "You have every right to be upset. But please, don't place that blame on anyone but the one who deserves it-"

My arms immediately reached forward, pulling the mare into my own embrace, and Twilight recuperated without delay with the limbs around my waist, keeping the pained alicorn close to me with all the comfort and love I could share. Even with the bond no longer active with my Balance suppressed, I just hoped this was enough, Twilight resting against my chest where my heart drummed in sorrow and yearning to make this wonderful pony happy once more.

"If anyone deserves blame, my love..." I whispered solemnly into her warm mane. "It's myself, for making my Princess feel this pain..."

Twilight answered tearfully from beneath. "Then let's share that guilt together..."

...Alright.

"Together." I affirmed quietly, kissing that soft mane for reassurance with the silence of night descending within the room, keeping everything somber and, for the moment, rather peaceful. "No matter what happens." I was compelled to add with sincere solemn affection. "I will always love you, Twilight..."

"...Will something happen...?" The Princess inquired softly, a tinge of apprehension in that tired voice.

I only shrugged, keeping it once again a secret. Make her even more upset? Might as well kill me now. "With us and our friends, something will always happen."

A choked sob, followed with Twilight shifting and pushing herself back, meeting my gaze with a tiny smile. My fingers instinctively reached forward, brushing away the fallen tears I have unwittingly prompted from her once again. As though sensing the self-punishing, the Princess shook her head with a wry grin. "You're worth shedding a few tears over."

"Not too many, I hope." I replied with a matching expression, retreating my hands and adding with a note of seriousness. "It's still not your fault, regardless what you think. Don't think for a moment I will ever blame you for what happened, Twilight." Or what comes because of it.

"Hrm, from the man who casually blames others for things, I'll consider that a rare honour." Twilight had enough in her to tease yet again. And suddenly, the mare added with a newfound tone of sheepish desire. "Um... Remember when you once asked me to sleep next to you when you were in despair?"

"Yeah...?" Though I was already picking up on what the mare was asking of me.

"Well, now I'm wondering if you'd... You know... Like to return the favour... I mean I know the bed's a little small but..."

It was the least I could do, already shifting myself to lie down by the edge of her pillow with a humoured smirk. Anything to make Twilight feel better, as always. The alicorn blinked, but grinned in hopeful gratitude despite the blushing cheeks from first making her request and gently laid down beside me, slightly pulling me so I could have some more of the pillow for myself.

Then it went to holding hands and hoofs together. Seconds later, a cuddle.

The Princess whispered rather humouredly and shyly into my chest. "I hope Mom and Dad don't get the wrong idea tomorrow..."

Hah... "Parents always presume the worst, Twilight... Your mother will probably be thrilled though."

Comments

[Slendy]

I don't know if I should be sad or happy....bloody chapter threw me into humor and despair, then back to touching like a roller-coaster. I love it!

[kitsune119]

915824love your chibi ruby rose pic