Derpy held her wings out at full length and looked down as the Everfree rolled by far below. From this height, it looked like a thin coating of moss on the world. Delicate, like you could scrape it off with a knife. Ponies feared this place more than any other now, but Derpy found it relaxing. It was the only place she felt safe anymore.
Well, not safe, exactly. But as long as you were well-fed and rested, and could fly over and well above the whole thing without stopping, it was relatively safe. Safer than the plains north and south of it, anyway, which were infested by ponies more malevolent and cunning than anything in this forest.
If some great winged beast rose from the forest to snatch her from the sky, at least she’d see it coming a long way off. At least it would be a predator that had some kind of birthright to do it. It wouldn’t try to frighten her, or justify itself to her, or try to make her confess that she deserved it.
Ponies thought this was where the world’s sickness had started. But as she looked at the miles of green stretching out in every direction—it looked green to her now; the eternal sunset had stripped her world of all but shades of red and brown, but her mind had begun to learn to repaint it—she realized they had got it backwards. This was the only healthy place left. Everywhere else, where ponies had ordered wind, clouds, rain, and plants to their liking, it had all died when the ponies stopped forcing it. Twisted to meet the needs of ponies, it had lost the will to live. As she would have if the raiders had kept her for their needs.
The sickness didn’t come from here, she thought. It came from us.
The Everfree had already surged back over the boundaries ponies had set for it, spreading out in slow, leafy waves. She imagined it rolling east and west and north and south until it reached the mountains and the sea, burying farms, cities, and ponies in a warm blanket of green.
“Don’t worry about me,” she whispered to the forest far below. “I’m on your side now.”
This is a great difference from your usual repertoire. I'm thoroughly enjoying it, especially the emotional background and tension.
Interesting how you kept the outcast pegasus ideals from FoE and worked them in your favor. I love the internal dialogue in this one, it's a great accent on the whole thing.
Keep this up, Bad, I'm all over it.
Really liking this story. I have no idea what she's planning on doing now though, since she just threw away the closest thing she had to a plot hook by which she might "help stitch an Equestria back together" last chapter.
I'm really liking this story so far, particularly with how personalized the end of the world seems to be. We're following Derpy through post-apocalyptia, not having a grand description of what went wrong with the world.
At least, that's what it's seemed like up until this chapter. I don't know, Derpy seems like she's living life from day to day at the moment, so it feels out of place that she is reflecting on the issues plaguing ponykind that led to Equestria being what it is currently. That in itself is not the root of the issue though. I think that the major issue is that it doesn't seem personal, which is a major break from everything that's come up so far.
I dunno. I'll try and figure it out while I read these next few chapters.
And damn, this is one of the strongest lines in the story so far.
Man, now I really want to know how everything ended. I have this feeling we won't get to find out in this story, though :(
This is fascinating.
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Truthfully it's there mostly to give Derpy time to brood, and to give the Everfree some stage time. I didn't think I could jump straight from Appaloosa to Ponyville.
Vote this comment up if you think this chapter adds to the story.
Vote it down if you think it could be removed.
This seems important:
Ok, time to see if I can discern the themes and morals of this story before the end this time.
...I ain't coming up with jack shit. Uhh something about freedom? I'll come up with something eventually, dammit!
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This chapter is still valid. Think of it as a rest spot for the audience, not just Derpy. After all, there was all that stuff about rape for like two or three thousand words back there. That would be hard for some people to take in. Like, that whole "trade" thing with the carrots and water. That trick is brutal, especially in this context. And I guess some people might be a bit affected by Apploosa's shooting at Derpy or maybe the whole harassment ineptitude thing.
So yeah, I guess some people would like a story pedal to the metal full throttle, but considering your audience of bronies who can get a bit sensitive about these topics, perhaps a rest spot is nice? Especially considering that they've made it this far into the story.
For me, this chapter is a nice spot to reflect on things. Like, I ain't as affected by the goings on of the previous chapters. Maybe.