• Member Since 24th Apr, 2012
  • offline last seen Aug 3rd, 2012

mau5!


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Corporal "Mak Thine," a everyday pony, is drafted into Celestia's Sun army after Celestia declared war on The Democratic Republic Of Vietnam to back up the losing United States.Him and his platoon are positioned in Khe Sanh, near the front lines were they will be confronted by the most tactical and ferocious of the National Liberal Federation; the Viet Cong.

A small project we have been working on.

Chapters (1)
Comments ( 33 )

Rooster - Alice In Chains

Again, another song I never actually expected to be relevant. You surprise me, you magnificent bastards.

Awesome! A great mix of ponies and warfare! Call of Duty: Modern Friendship.

I like the concept, even if some of the wording makes it a bit hard to follow at times.

Sounds like someone's been playing Black Ops... Anyway, nice idea. I'll give you a thumb for originality.

You wrote the story and did your research on Vietnam (WELL it's actually Johnson who fully involved US into Vietnam not Eisenhower who just increased military advisors, yeah Geneva did piss him off, but it was Johnson who made the Gulf of Tonkin resolution), but I prefer the innocent not pull everypony into a sad war type of fics.

Hmm, looks CoD-y. Of course, extra research was nice, because the sheer amount of Call Of Duty based garbage is simply exaggerated badassery. Unfortunately, too much of that, and Aj is way out of character. They don't act like ponies, and how are they using human weapons? Also, Celestia seems to like communism and dictatorship, so why side with the 'good guys'? The ones with all the poverty and stuff? Racism belongs nowhere with ponies. Point is, it makes very little sense. Nice try, but it is a really hard subject to write about and not be out of place somewhere.

561206Thanks :D Yeah i know she kinda likes communisum, but we all hate it!

equestria on earth? can i have plane tickets pls?:scootangel:

:pinkiehappy: I liked it, please make more! :pinkiehappy:

Good story just got done spending some research time on Vietnam tracked this like I told you expect more comments from this brony:rainbowlaugh:
Good concept and well in my other story the ponies could use human weapons I mean if they can pick things up with their hooves why could they not use a gun?

Looks good. I don't really have time now, but I'll read it later. :twilightsmile:

Hmm... it seemed a bit rushed. You should probably slow it down a bit and add more detail to the battles.

577672 Thanks for the critism and for not disliking it:twilightsmile:

577709 Your welcome. Oh, and try using metaphors to make it more dramatic.

Example: The Hueys sprayed bursts of burning lead upon the enemy like heavy rain.

Oh, well, thanks for the correction. Anyway, just be poetic and creative in your battle descriptions. Here's a little bit of a battle description that I'm using in my fic

The entire area was eruption with explosions and gunfire.

Several Black Hawks and Chinooks land another wave of troops, who charged towards the walls of the airport and the small fortresses surrounding it.

These soldiers were supported by Apaches, as well as other Black Hawks and Chinooks. Higher in the sky, Hornets, Super Hornets, Thunderbolt IIs (or, "Warthogs"), and even a few Spectres and Spookys were buzzing the area, raining destruction upon the enemy.

In the window and towers of the fortifications, the Iragi soldiers spewed hot lead from their heavy machine guns, which travelled ar subsonic speeds and penetrated the flesh of the American soldiers. They also penetrated the metallic skin of the helicopters, often with fatal effect.


Stuff like that, and your story should be awesome :scootangel:

577756

Nah, that's not how Vietnam was fought, guerrilla warfare right?

You also had like three corrections

These soldiers were supported by Apaches, as well as other Black Hawks and Chinooks. Higher in the sky, Hornets, Super Hornets, Thunderbolt IIs (or, "Warthogs"), and even a few Spectres and Spookys were buzzing the area, raining destruction upon the enemy.

We get the point! Stop drilling it in, it is for the reader to find out!

hot lead from their heavy machine guns,

From critism I have had in the past, say like M-60s or XX11's or Gatling guns

You don't need so much air support, you do know that the spooky and specters are the same thing, a lockheed AC-130?

Only the American army carelessly rush in like that

Lol im just being a dick now:twilightblush:

577786 That sample wasn't about Vietnam. That was about a major battle that accured like almost forty years after Vietnam. And believe me, the Americans used a LOT of air support in that battle. It was a BIG battle. You'll find out what it was in the next chapter of Jaguars. But I was only using that little bit as an example.

And also, how can ponies even carry guns? :rainbowhuh: And who is your main character anyway?

577867

How the hell can ponies then carry swords and spears like the guards? I rest my case.:trixieshiftleft:

577867

What, you mean they were fighting in irag?:rainbowlaugh::rainbowlaugh:

What a cost if it was a big battle anyway, the Israelite commandos are very well trained if air force and ground.

Interesting story bro. :twilightsmile:

Hope to see Chapter 2. :pinkiehappy:

560907 no offence dude but did you read the title or thumbnail

596924 WOOPS right...none taken.

597026 so can i have like then?:applecry::applecry::applecry:

597033 i've given it already....:applecry::applecry::fluttershysad: It's not a bad story. I guess it's just people don't like ponies involved in a war

My Little Kony! My Little Kony! Ahahaha.
My Little Kony, I used to wonder what warfare could be. My Little Pony, can you all share this shotgun with me?
Enough said.

I love this story,It is truly interesting one,Then....i forgot why i would comment.

And for the song,this can helps:A song for this story.

Comment posted by Doctor_Brony1234 deleted Jul 17th, 2013
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