One thousand years of practically uninterrupted peace under Celestia's rule... And then, in less than half a decade, half a dozen world-threatening monsters suddenly crawled out from under their rocks and tried to overthrow the kingdom. Nearly every time, the same six mares eliminated the threat.
While that makes for a great story, and newspaper editors loved the idea of super-ponies empowered by the magical bonds of friendship, the average noblepony found this idea somewhat concerning. The security of the entire nation depended on six individuals. Following Tirek's return and the widespread damage he caused, the nobles resolved to create a secret division of the government to anticipate and counter any future threats of an extraordinary nature.
From this idea, F.R.I.E.N.D. was born. It was a collection of Equestria's best and brightest, backed by considerable wealth and dedicated to the defense of ponykind against anything that imperils it.
In the description, there is an "our" where there should be an "out".
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Ah, good catch, thank you. I think I did a decent job at editing, but there's always something, and it's good to have others helping spot it.
Huh. How similar this idea is to my own idea. I made a blog based on a fiction pony military called R.E.E.F., which stands for "Royal Equestrian Emergency Forces", a secret military spanning all of Equestria that includes anyone willing to join. Unlike most military groups, this one does not involve a boot camp or anything, but instead takes advantage of the talents its members already have. I intend to write a story one day detailing the events that led to its creation, and in fact I already wrote a sort of prequel for that story that introduces my character during the events of Rarity Takes Manehatten.
http://equestrianmilitary.tumblr.com/
I may just have to read this sometime. ;)
I'm just going to leave this here.
Needs more Gilda
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It is interesting how similar that idea sounds. Should you ever write that story, I'd like to read it.
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There is certainly more of her in coming chapters, but I admit she's a tough character to write. I'm finding a middle-ground between her canon appearance and a character that fits in the current environment, and I'd say the (as-yet-unpublished) later scenes involving her do a solid job of establishing her as a character.
...that being said, I have to agree. Just about every story could use a little more Gilda.
5438043 That link I posted leads to the blog I based on my own idea. You should be able to find the prequel thing in my stories, since it's only one of two. The second one provides a sort of alternate universe look at the kind of action the group takes, but with my character taking a side role and placing Doctor Whooves into the protagonist role, as that particular story is based on a different tumblr I happen to be a fan of.
On a different note, I just feel like pointing out that I seem to gravitate toward water/ice themes in my creations. That said, the abbreviation "R.E.E.F." was entirely coincidental, as I was actually NOT trying to create something water-themed this time. XD For the record, I also managed to make an anthem for the fictional group, which can also be found on the blog, along with four (but eventually many more) character profiles, a brief history of the group, etc.
...you're doing great.
Puns aside, I love how you've painted the ponies here; a very solid choice to have not tried too hard to make them completely analogous to Marvel counterparts, but instead just let them have their own personalities. This is already far more memorable as a result. Following the
out of this!
F.R.I.E.N.D. = Freedom's Royal Intelligence against Equestria's New Dangers
That's the best I could come up with
Well that's kind of a weird name, but I can see how it...
... y-you mad genius, you!
So, Time Turner and Minuette get to be Fitz and Simmons, and Fancy Pants gets to be May. The others don't seem to fit into S.H.I.E.L.D characters directly, but Knight is obviously the team leader, Soarin seems to be the operative and Gilda? Need to see more of Gilda to place her.
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I'm not actually trying to mirror the S.H.I.E.L.D. team with these characters, really. There are absolutely some similarities in all the comparisons you drew, but I'm not reinventing any of the characters already established from the show or trying to draw unnecessary parallels (i.e. Fancy Pants isn't secretly the Cavalry (as friggin' awesome as that would be (I might need to revise my notes now... Cavalry Pants deserves to be a thing))). That being said... I definitely do see Minuette and Time Turner as having something akin to the Fitzsimmons dynamic. Those two were my absolute favorite on the show, and I felt that a scientist-duo fit nicely into this story as well. Their individual personalities are very distinct, though, and that'll be better explored in future chapters.
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Glad to hear you're enjoying this. I really am too!
Tell Border Patrol to stop all griffins; the thieves might split up to avoid suspicion.
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I had taken that into consideration, but ultimately decided against it because I had established Baltimare as a major commercial and transit hub. I'm sure that it could have been done from a logistics standpoint, but at the same time, it would tie up a lot of trade and risk an international incident. Or at least, that was my justification for the decision from Knight's POV. Hopefully it wasn't a mistake!
Good chapter so far!
5443590 When major magical objects get stolen, loss of trade and and international incident aren't the concern; someone having a possible reusable magical nuke is.
Awesome job so far. This fic actually gave me some motivation for my recent story xD
Oh... this ain't gonna end well for anypony, is it?
Oh Sh*t. Minuette taking one for the team. I feel bad for her
Oh that's a sick line; and it fits the feel of the real show so perfectly!
You have my atten--oh, wait, wrong kind of wench,
I know that foreshadowing feel... I get it with all the references I throw in my stories; very few people seem to get the ones I'm most proud of,
img.4plebs.org/boards/x/image/1372/88/1372882281799.gif
Minuette is rather similar to Pinkie, I have to say.
And Soarin is like Rainbow Dash when you think about it, and Gilda could be Applejack without the meanness.
Stupid Idea Time: Somehow, F.R.I.E.N.D becomes the Elements of Harmony.
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Gasp! My grand reveal is undone! Nah, but Minuette definitely channels some Pinkie; I see her as a very upbeat and positive character, and her magical powers tend toward extrasensory on occasion, but she's a lot less random-for-the-sake-of-it and very much her own pony. I'm not sure I see the Gilda-Applejack parallel, though.
Oh, no, Minuette... when did you zap yourself to?
It lives!
CELEBRATION DANCE!!
33.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_mdft5mqtRY1rkppw7o1_400.gif
I like it; better than time travel!
Wait a tick... So the excese energy from the teleportation of the ships caused both Minuette and Soarin to get thrown through time? WHAT?!?! Regardless, great story.
Now that is an interesting note to end things on.
Let's hope this story gets picked up again at some point.