Zombism Is Magic

by DeathRiseRobo

The Journey

This is my first fanfic! Written on an iPod! Expect a lot.

Author's Note: Comment on it! Even if it turns out terrible!

The Journey

Twilight was incredibly anxious. Nopony was ever assigned recon. Why did it have to be her? Recon was the most dangerous job she could have been stuck with! And she was alone... almost. Bertha (her gun) and the commando were both there.But recon was dangerous, even for the three of them. Your job in recon was to lay low, avoid zombies, and get survivors. But all attempts at recon, ever, had failed. Nopony had ever returned to Canterlot alive, and Ponyville was already infested. Rumor was, there were survivors. And that's exactly why Twilight was there. She had to pick up those survivors. And it was her first important mission, too. From the look of it, it was going to be her last. But this isn't the time for those worries. I have to get to Ponyville and back as quickly as I can. With luck I'll survive... maybe, she thought. Colonel Spike asked, "Where are we going, Twilite?" He always got her name wrong. Twilight didn't know why, but it made her sound like a cheap beer. She hated that. But now was not the time. After all, their target was in sight. "Where are we going?" Spike asked. "Why, I'm glad you asked. We're going to Ponyville!" Twilight said with forced enthusiasm. Spike blanched, his scales lying flatter against his sides. "Ponyville? You're joking, right? Please tell me you're joking." At that, Twilight grew sober and looked away. "I wish I was, Spike. I wish I was."

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Landings are always rough, but usually not this rough. They landed in the infested town square. Upon arrival, the zombies had no mercy. A horde of almost fifty were heading towards the cab which they had arrived in. Twilight and Spike knew when to run, but apparently, the driver didn't. Spike and Twilight both had the honor of watching the poor taxi driver have his body torn limb-from-limb, blood flying everywhere. Twilight thought his name was Rick. Poor, poor, Rick. And as they watched, they kept running. Because, once the zombies were done with Rick, Twilight and Spike would be the next ones to die a horrible death. Twilight made out the navigation spell for Ponyville. It was purple; the color of her magic. There was a safe house on Sweet Apple Acres. It held all the survivors, some food, and ammo. This was shown on the map as a dark purple dot. Her location was a light purple dot. She had to go west. Twilight told Spike to cover her as she calculated the route, slower then a GPS on crack. It looked as if she was dumbly staring at a magical map, which was, in fact, what she was doing. She could never get her thought process to work well, and her cutie mark sure wasn't navigation. This is going to take a while, Spike thought. And the zombies that devoured Rick were finally done with his carcass,so they headed towards Spike looking for fresh meat. Time to bring these zombies back to where they belong. IN HELL! Spike brought out his dual dragon-flame Uzis, a present from Twilight. The way the uzis worked was quite simple. Powered by dragon flame in the barrel, the ammo was infinite, and flame kills zombies. Twilight said something else about the guns, but Spike had stopped paying attention. The egghead was kind of boring, and she tended to go insane under pressure. Spike knew this better then anyone, since she had "accidentally" shot him with pressurized magic bullets. Those had given him deep scars that went all the way down to his chest, and he liked to call them "close encounters with zombies". EAT FIRE, ZOMBIES! the commando thought. Spike grabbed his uzis and loaded them with his flame. As soon as he pulled the trigger, green bolts of fire slammed against the zombie bodies, burning their worm-infested faces and evaporating them into thin air. Their tortured screams were Spike's lullaby. Soon, the entire horde was gone. And Twilight was bored just looking at the map.
It was time to go to Sweet Apple Acres.

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As the duo arrived at the apple orchard, it was extremely quiet. They were supposed to find the barn. Twilight yet again opened the map, but Spike was navigating this time. Twilight+Map=lost time and a disaster, Spike thought. Spike was surprisingly good with a map, and, soon enough, that barn was in sight. It was a faded red, with a typical plywood roof. But it was HUGE. On the barn was a hand-built iron tower, random attachments (chainguns, rifles, etc.), and rooms. The rooms were a range of different sizes. This should be easy, Twilight thought. She walked over to the door and knocked. It was a plain old door, with a bolthole for security. The bolthole opened up, and Twilight saw 2 very spontaneous eyes.

And in a very cheerful voice, she heard,
"Who are you?"

"I'm Twilight Sparkle, and I'm here to bring your group to Canterlot."

The spontaneous-eyed pony added,

"Okie-dokie-lokie!"

and opened the door to the inside of the barn.

What Twilight saw was an utmost surprise. Inside the barn, it was a haven for survivors, and a lot bigger on the inside then the outside.

There were ponies manning gatling guns. There were ponies doing target practice. There were ponies practicing first aid. There were ponies. And there were even ponies brushing their mane, as if there was no apocalypse.

"Wh-what is this place?"

Twilight stood stock-still, her mouth open in shock.
She stayed in that state for a few more seconds before knocking some sense into herself.

Role call, Twilight thought.

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"This is Sweet Apple Acres, the best zombie killing training in all of Equestria. Of course , it's the only one in Ponyville, but that's beside the point." "Mmhmm." This from Twilight, as she listened to the apple-flanked pony. "Here, you can learn every aspect of zombie killing. That's my little sister over there at the commando knife station, my brother, Big Mac, at the physical defense station, and my good friend Fluttershy at the "Misuse of Medical Arts" station." Twilight watched as various ponys sliced, smashed, and dissected various zombie training dolls. "This is all very interesting, but I'm here on a mission." said Twilight.
The apple-flanked pony eyed her wearily.
"You that savior from fancy-schmancy Canterlot?"
Twilight gave a simple nod, and a big grin erupted on that pony's face.
"I'm Applejack, owner of this here center. And you are?"
"Twilight Sparkle. Now, if you could line up all the inhabitants of here, I'd like to do role call."
Applejack's grin grew even wider.
"Anything for you, Miss Sparkle."

And so Twilight got out the clipboard, and Applejack got the ponies into a line.
"This is Miss Sparkle, here to take us to Canterlot," Applejack proudly announced.
The ponies looked particularly happy on this mention, and Twilight started role call.
Celestia had given her a clipboard with all the survivor's names on it.

"Applejack I know is here. Big Macintosh?"

A red stallion muttered "Eeyup," and got back to beating the zombie training doll on the wall.

"Applebloom and Granny Smith?"

Now, a yellow filly preceded to run to Big Mac, along with an old codger with a rifle, and again the stallion muttered "Eeyup."

"Pinkie Pie?"

A pink pony with a pink mane bounced over to Twilight and began an endless stream of words.
"I'm Pinkie Pie. Who are you? Are you a new pony? I love new ponies. I opened the door for you, don't you remember? Do you like parties? I love parties. What kind of streamers do you like? Zombie entrails? Livers? Because if-"
"CAN YOU BE QUIET?!?!" yelled Twilight .

"Okie-dokie-lokie! I love the quiet game. But I'm not very good at it. Are you good at it? I once knew a pony-"
"Pinkie Pie, check," said Twilight, leaving the pink-haired party pony to her rambling.

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"Well, I'm done checking up on everyone. It's time to get this show on the road," said Twilight. "Do you have any vehicles for the journey?"

"Journey? We're not ready for a journey." said Applejack.

"What? But it's my mission to bring you back!" said Twilight.

"I know," said Applejack. "But we don't have any vehicles. So I'm sorry, but we can't go."

Twilight brandished the map Celestia had given her. "On this map, a military depot is clearly marked two miles west of here. Surely there's something of use there."

Applejack ground her teeth. "Missy, when are you going to listen to me when I tell you we don't have enough weapons, food, or tank fuel to make a journey to Canterlot?"

Twilight smiled. "So there's a tank, huh? That will be very useful to Celestia."

Applejack stared, then yelled in frustration. "You stay right here, you understand me? I will personally assign you a guard, who will make sue you do not leave this facility! If you do for any reason, then you can wait for your princess's aid out there with the zombies! Do you hear me?!?"

Twilight nodded, and she looked so sincere anyone who didn't know her would believe her. They might even have also have noticed her replacing herself with a magic doppelganger and sneaking out one of the smaller side entrances.
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Twilight walked down the street, destroying zombies as she went. There were surprisingly few. She didn't even need Spike, which was good. He'd stayed back at the safehouse, staring entranced at a purple-haired pony manning a gatling gun, with a slightly insane grin on her face. As she walked, she spoke various magical commands; "Burst!" "Inflate!" "Penguin!" to take care of the few zombies out there. I wonder why Applejack wanted to stop me, she thought. There are barely any zombies. But why is that? Is there another pony safehouse or- A horrible thought occured to her at that moment, but she didn't get time to recognize it. Because at that moment, a 1000-pound something slammed into her with the force of a freight train. But if she actually thought it, it would have gone something like this: Or what if there are no zombies here because there's something worse?

Comments

[Thespurgin]

Something worse than zombies? hmm.... all in all, it's not bad for something off an iPod but it is a buit rushed and lacks spacing... there's also the need to delve into the details of the personality changes of all involved in this alternate universe as well, but that could theoretically wait.

[DeathRiseRobo]

579635
The plot was rushed because of the deep second chapter.
Notice I didn't mention Code Apple, or Rainbow Dash.

[RedvsBlue327]

I couldn't get past Spikes dual Uzi flamethrowers.
Also, it's a good thing to break these blocks of text into amillion bite sized paragraphs. Otherwise, we get overwhelmed by the constant line of no breaks.

Lastly, the first section was going at a pretty good pace! But then, I personally think you jumped into the action much too quickly after that.

It could be because I just finished season 2 of the walking dead, but I must critisize Twilights insertion plan. It would've been better to stop at the outskirts of town, and slowly and surely fight your way into it, rather than drop yourself f*ckin dead center of zombie central.

[Rogue weather pony]

i'm being knit picky here but before i read this is zombism a real word?
because i would like to use it in life but don't know if its correct

[Null_Void]

jeebus

pretty scary