Teleporting was one of the most bizarre sensations Andrew had ever felt. The only way he could describe it was suddenly being nowhere, everywhere and specifically at two separate points all at the same time. This of course ignored the sensation of stretching and compacting, as if the very space he was in was being pulled and squished, rather than his actual body. His mind was overloaded by the strange sensations for a single mentally cacophonous moment. And then, as suddenly as it had started, it stopped. He felt his ears pop as he stumbled slightly into the new location. Nausea flowed through him as he looked around. The room they had ended up in was a complete mess, and judging by the papers still fluttering down, this was a rather new development.
“Damn Luna, you could have told me it would feel like that! I feel all mixed up and… off.” He said, failing to find the words to describe how he felt.
It wasn’t overt, but he felt so… different. Now that he thought about it, the feeling was so subtle he couldn’t even be sure if it was the teleporting that had done it.
“And jeez, you’d think royalty would be able to hire a maid, this place is a disas-“ He stopped mid rib as he looked around to find Luna. “Oh crap oh crap!”
Luna was next to him, partially collapsed and struggling to stay vertical. He rushed to her side as she tried to rise to her full height. He sat down beside her and put his hand on her back.
“Luna its ok, relax. Take it easy and stay down, no reason to strain yourself further.” He urged gently. “What happened? Something tells me that’s not how that’s supposed to work”
Hearing the wisdom in his words, she stopped struggling and sat down, breathing deeply as she struggled to catch her breath. Andrew looked around the damaged room as Luna caught her breath. Many of the pieces of furniture were broken or thrown back, and almost all of the room’s glass had been shattered. Even the massive bed frame was pitched at an awkward angle. Considerably more foreboding was the black burn mark encircling the duo.
“I… miscalculated. You were… more difficult to move… than I had imagined.” Luna finally answered as her breath slowly began to return to normal.
“Luna! Did you just call me fat?!” Andrew gasped with mock indignation, wrapping his impromptu toga tighter around himself.
His farce got a quiet chuckle from the exhausted alicorn. Glad to get a humorous reaction from her, he continued.
“Well despite the impressive property damage, it wasn’t too bad” He said as he gave Luna a reassuring pat on her back.
“I was aiming for my office.” She said, breath finally resuming its normal pace.
Andrew’s face dropped at her remark, and he audibly gulped.
“I’m going to take a shot in the dark and assume that could have gone a lot, lot worse then?”
“Indeed” Luna said simply, and once again struggling to get to her hooves, barely succeeding in getting to her knees.
Andrew now got up from his sitting position and kneeled beside the princess, steadying her swaying.
“Luna, stop struggling, you’re only going to hurt yourself. I’m going to see if I can find someone to he-” his words were cut off by the loud slam of the bedroom door being thrown open.
A hinge snapped on one half of the ornately carved door, causing that side to tilt. Standing in the now open doorway were three ponies, colored orange, light yellow and purple, and the purple one looked particularly upset as it observed the situation.
“Get away from Princess Luna!” the purple mare shouted at him as she saw him leaning over the princess.
In his surprise he put his hand on Luna, and his other toward the new arrivals. The purple pony immediately lowered her head, her horn glowing as she charged a spell. The two ponies behind her watched in shock as their friend strained, charging a blast of magical energy.
“Whoa there, don’t go jumping to-” Andrew didn’t get time finish his sentence before Twilight fired her spell.
Time seemed to slow as a magenta beam formed, shooting from her horn, heading directly for Andrew. He could feel Luna struggling to stand next to him. He knew she was going to trying and push him out of the way. He knew that doing so would put her directly into the path of the spell. And, he knew that if she did that, with her magic drained as much as it was, the damage would be major. He didn’t know how he knew these things. His knowledge of magic was obviously miniscule, and for all he knew about it, the beam that was flying toward him was as gentle as a hug. But somehow, something was telling him that this beam, while not intended to kill, was very dangerous. He knew he was in danger, and that Luna was moving to put herself in the path of destruction to spare him.
And he couldn’t let that to happen.
The hand he had placed on Luna moved down to her shoulder and he gave her a good hard shove. As shaky as she had been, the shove from the human was enough to send her sprawling away from him, well out of the danger zone. His hand still outstretched toward the ponies, he closed his eyes in the instant it took for the beam to reach him.
“NO!” Luna still managed to shout, despite her exhausted state.
Now sprawled on the floor a good distance away, Luna instantly recognized the simple and familiar combat spell the second Twilight had cast. The spell was a simple heat and impact spell, but even that would do massive damage to an unshielded pony, or in this case human. On instinct Luna had tried to protect Andrew from it, despite knowing that in her state she couldn’t have possibly conjured a shield strong enough to block or deflect it. Andrew’s quick reaction was amazing in and of itself, almost as if he recognized the spell forming as well. Part of her wanted to look away from what sure to be a brutal impact. But she couldn’t, or more precisely, she refused to. In all honesty it mattered little if she wanted to see it or not, it happened so fast she couldn’t have turned away at all.
In a split second the beam reached the closest part of his body, the hand outstretched to the usually peaceful pony. Just before it impacted, which should have broken the humans arm and covered it with burns, there was a spark, and a reddish glow of magic as a translucent disk of the same color was spawned. It hovered directly in front of the outstretched limb, expanding to about a meter wide. Luna instantly identified it as a very crude shield spell. The beam slammed into the disk, which in turn slammed against the human, throwing him back. He was blasted completely clear of the blackened ring that marked the duo’s arrival point, directly into the partially broken husk of what was probably a china cabinet, smashing it to even less recognizable bits. The top of the cabinet collapsed down onto the launched human, covering him completely. Luna gasped as the human tumbled through the air, wincing as he made contact with the furniture. She spun her head to the new arrivals.
“Twilight Sparkle, cease your violence immediately!” She yelled, trying to halt any follow up attacks.
Twilight seemed startled at the harsh tone of the dark blue alicorn, but her stance remained combative.
“Don’t worry princess, I got him. He won’t be able to hurt y-“
“He wasn’t hurting me, he was trying to help me!” Luna shouted, cutting of the unicorns attempts at reassuring her.
“What? Don’t be ridiculous, he was standing over you maliciously!” Twilight replied, now becoming seriously confused. She had just saved the Princess Luna from the bipedal beast, why was she getting yelled at? She moved to rush to Luna’s side, but was stopped half way.
“No, I am fine! Go find my sister before you cause any more harm!” Luna insisted.
The venom in her voice was clear, and it shocked both Twilight and princess herself.
“I’m already here my sister. Are you alright?” said Princess Celestia, as she walked in from the terrace.
The doors had been blown open by the miss calculated teleportation, and now rested haphazardly on the balcony. She seemed oblivious to the destruction of her sister’s bedroom, instead trotting up to her fallen sibling.
“Yes, I am fine! Please, just make sure Andrew is alright!” Luna shout in obvious frustration.
She wanted desperately to get up and check on him herself, but her legs were not following any of her directions. A quiet groan came from the pile of debris formally known as a cabinet, and the wood pieces shifted slightly.
“I’m okay!” Andrew said, his voice muffled, as he poked his hand through the top layer of fragmented wood. “Well… mostly okay…kinda dark…”
“Princess Celestia wait!” Twilight shouted, as the princess of the sun began to make her way to the pile of debris. “Don’t go near it, it’s dangerous!”
“No, no I’m not! I’m uh… Just a little claustrophobic…” a small amount of panic began to creep into Andrews’s voice.
Celestia continued on to the pinned human, after giving her student a reproachful look.
“Twilight Sparkle, you should know better than to jump to conclusions.” Celestia’s horn glowed as she moved the pile up off of the human, revealing a singed, but relatively undamaged human underneath. “Especially when using such a violent spell.”
As Princess Celestia chastised her, Twilights expression went from confused to hurt in mere moments. Twilight was stunned by her teacher scolding, completely thrown off guard. She couldn’t remember the last time her teacher had reprimanded her with such conviction.
“But… Princess there was an explosion, and when we got here, it was standing over her holding her down.” Her hurt expression remained, she was truly convinced Andrew had been attacking Luna.
“Twilight Sparkle.” Luna interjected. “The explosion was from my miscalculated teleportation, and he was trying to help me, not hold me down.”
“Oh…” Her she said quietly, shocked face quickly turned to embarrassment then panic as she realized she had just attacked an innocent creature. “Oh no, I’m so sorry! Here, let me help you!
She started to walk over to the human, but Princess Celestia waved her off.
“No Twilight, why don’t you go wait in my office and we will discuss your hasty actions when I am done here.” The white alicorn said, her tone still disapproving.
Her student looked heartbroken, and began to walk away, head hung in shame. She exited the room, slowly walking out of view, obviously distraught about what had happened. Her friends followed behind her, completely speechless at what had happened. The room was quiet except for the quiet groans Andrew was making as he dragged himself out of the pile of rubble.
"Thank you Princess Celestia” Andrew said, leaned on her for a moment before sitting on a night stand that had been tipped on its side.
He looked at his hand, which looked remarkably normal for all the glowing and sparking he had just witness it give off.
“So, not that I’m not thrilled to finally meet you Princess, but uh… the fuck was that?” He asked, holding his hand up to the sisters, pointing to it as if he had never seen it before.
The sisters looked at each other, then back to the bewildered human.
“Well Andrew…I believe that was…magic” Luna answered, looking almost as confused as he did.
She remembered the hours it took for Andrew to take her explanation of magic seriously, despite the improbability sitting on the moon without it. And yet what she had just saw him do was clearly magic, albeit very crude. Andrew once again studied his hand, turning it over and back again, brain clearly struggling with this brand new concept.
“Seriously?” Andrew finally said words full of intense skepticism. Had he not seen it with his own eyes, and felt the magic itself, he would have laughed in Luna’s face for what she just said. “Well…shit.”
“What is it?” Luna asked, worried her new friend was on the verge of repeating the outburst on her moon.
“Well…I would make a joke about not being in Kansas anymore, but I don’t think that would quite cover this.”
Luna shook her head, while Princess Celestia just looked at the human in confusion.
“Andrew, we still don’t understand your references”
“I know, it’s freaking terrible!” His head sagged and he let out a loud, irritated sigh. Luna wasn’t sure if he was more concerned about his sudden ability to use magic, or that his jokes were going on unappreciated.
It took some time for Luna to get her strength back, or at least enough to make it to Princess Celestia’s bedroom for some proper rest. As drained as she was, she refused to be carried either by the guards or by Princess Celestia’s magic. She even went so far as to refuse her sister’s offer to teleport her there, saying “I shall move by my power or not at all.” Eventually, through coaxing by Andrew and Celestia, she agreed to lean on her sister for support. They began making their way through the halls, while Luna explained what had happened since her and Andrew disappeared from the hospital.
Andrew followed behind them, oblivious to their conversation. To the sisters, he was silent, but in his head buzzed thousands of questions. It felt like every time he managed to come to terms with whatever crazy thing was being thrown at him, another curve ball would come up and hit him out of nowhere. He felt himself hovering on the edge of breaking down, and he struggled to calm himself. He was brought out if his wallowing by Luna.
“Andrew” She said softly, managing to get the human’s attention. “I know you must be frantic right now, but stay strong. We will find answers, I promise.”
Luna’s voice was gentle and reassuring, despite her obvious exhaustion. The two sisters stopped in front of an ornate door, marked by a sun. Andrew leaned up against the door jam, his racing mind calmed by Luna’s promise.
“Thank you Luna. Now go get some rest, you look like a crap” He said with a smile.
“You don’t look much better.” Luna shot back, making Andrew laugh as the two sisters left the hall to put Luna to rest.
When Princess Celestia returned a few minutes later, Andrew sat up quickly from his leaning.
“Andrew was it?” Princess asked, receiving a nod from Andrew in confirmation.
“Yeah, that’s right. So…she really okay?” Andrew asked, smile still lingering after Luna’s fast retort.
“How quickly you understand my sister’s tendency to embellish her wellbeing.” The white princess said with a quiet laugh. “Yes, she will be fine, though I’ll admit this is the most drastic case of magic overdraw I’ve ever seen.”
The Princess began walking toward her office, a few corners down the hall. Andrew followed behind, rubbing the back of his head, a look of embarrassment on his face.
“Yeah… about that… as far as we can tell, that’s kinda my fault” He admitted awkwardly
“I have heard the story several times. Did you mean to do it?” she asked, her gaze heavy on him as she studied his face.
“No! I mean no. I’m not even sure I was conscious at that point.”
“Then do not worry, I will not hold you responsible for something you didn’t do on purpose.”
A smile finally showed on the white alicorn’s face, and Andrew let a breath out he hadn’t even known he was holding.
“Thanks” he said simply, his eyes returning to the hall as his mind wandered over what had happened in the last few hours. “You wouldn’t have any idea what is going on, would you?”
Andrew looked at the princess hopefully, waiting for her response. The hall was silent for a while, save for the clop of hooves and the pad of bare feet. The Princess appeared to be deep in thought.
“I have several… possibilities in mind” she finally said. “But I think it’s best if we wait until we can examine you properly before we delve into speculation and guessing.”
Even after she answered, Princess Celestia’s face remained contemplative, and they continued to walk in silence. Andrew let out a quite sigh, wanting to push her for more answers, despite her trepidation about it. He took a deep breath, forcing his mind to relax. She was right after all, he should be resting and coming to terms with what has happened, not running towards figuring everything out. He focused on calming down while they walked, taking deep breaths and following the Princess.
As the two finally make it to Celestia’s study, they pause before the large wooden doors. They could hear the sounds of three ponies animatedly talking, albeit in hushed tones. Next to the door were two saluting guards, clad in golden armor. He noticed they were both virtually identical, at least they looked that way to him. The guards eyes fell on him almost immediately, but quickly returned to their stare to the wall opposite them. He resisted the urge to shout “boo!” in an attempt to make them move. He wasn’t quite ready to pester ponies armed with swords and clad in metal. The Princess looked to the guard on the right.
“Stalwart, is that Twilight and her friends I hear inside?”
“Yes your Highness.” The guard rigid stance loosened slightly as the Princess talked to him in an unofficial tone.
“Thank you. Hold any visitors until we are done please.
“Of course you Highness”
“Thank you Stalwart” After assuring they wouldn’t be interrupted, the Princess pushed the door open. The guards gave her a final salute as the two walked inside, the door closing behind them.
Inside, three ponies talked amongst themselves, looking over a familiar pile of cloth.
“My clothes!” Andrew hurried to the three ponies, who quickly got out of his way.
Fluttershy disappeared behind a chair, while Applejack, who was still unsure of how to act around the biped, simply stood next to Twilight.
“Hey, these are in pretty good shape.” Andrew said, kneeling beside the pile, as he picked up his shirt and turned it side to side. “I’m surprised whoever patched me up didn’t have to cut me out of them”
“Actually, they did.” Twilight walked to the human, looking slightly mortified, which Andrew assumed was from the incident in Luna’s bedroom. “I collected them from the hospital and cast a repair spell on them… as an apology”
Twilight looked d down at her hooves, as if expecting he wouldn’t accept her attempt at making amends .
“Oh thanks Twilight, you didn’t have to do that, I would have forgiven you anyway. Not that I don’t appreciate this.” Andrew said, clearly ecstatic with being able to get out of his ridiculous toga.
“Wait, seriously? Forgiven, just like that?” She asked, her eyebrow raised, clearly skeptical that he could really just brush off the incident.
“Yeah, it’s no biggie. I mean from what I heard from Luna, you’re the only reason I’m here and not being scrapped off the ground with a shovel”
Andrew saw Applejack wince at his description, and a whimper behind him. He turned to see Fluttershy peaking around the edge of her chair
“Oh, hello there. You must be Fluttershy.” He said, giving her a small smile, before turning back to the orange pony who stood behind Twilight. “Which would make you Applejack.”
He dropped his clothes back into a pile, and stood, and gestured to himself.
“Names Andrew Dike, it’s nice to meet you all.”
MOAR!
Well, I wonder if he just has magic now, or just a finite amount that he absorbed.
i.ytimg.com/vi/RFNLWMToGEM/maxresdefault.jpg
5475092
Exactly. When you live life on easymode it's not hard to be morally superior. Having no concept of actual hardship makes a lot of the "barbaric" behavior humans display just never become necessary. In the real world, herbivorous prey animals categorically couldn't evolve to have human-level intelligence. We are omnivorous predators because sixty percent of everything we eat goes towards the energy requirements of our brain alone. You can't fill that kind of caloric requirement by eating grass. Bitching about how we're awful - when the benchmark of comparison are physically impossible cartoon ponies who literally live on magic - is so abjectly stupid it's an embarrassment to humanity as a species.
If only it wasn't written like a giant word wall. Shame...
Now it's like every Hie story. "Human gets attacked by ponies, Human forgives ponies instantly"
So Andrew just forgives them for nearly blasting him into a wall at speed that would certainly break several bones, and leave burns across his skin? I consider myself a forgiving person. However if I were attacked for no reason, other than looking menacing, I would want the offending person to be held responsible. Even if they were grounded for a week that would be good enough for me. But I wouldn't outright forgive them. Keep this in mind as you progress through the story. Having your character wave off hostility from the ponies like that makes him unbelievable.
*spit-take* His name is Dike?!
Oooohhh...so many off colored jokes, so little time.
5475818
Considering the whole broken bones and burns thing, he probably reasoned that saying anything else might be detrimental to his health.
5475572
Yeah, I'm sorry about that. It seems Ive been doing a terrible job of pacing myself. The problem is known though, I promise it's now one of my main concerns!
gah! Must not spoil to rebut complaints, must not spoil to rebut compliants, must not spoil to rebut compliants!
5475857
I was worried about that >_<. It's actually pronounced deekay.
5475982 Just put spaces between paragraphs and sentences. Don't have it be like.
BLAH BLAH BLAH!!
BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH!
BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH.
BLAH BLAH...
BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH.
BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH.
Have it be more like this:
BLAH BLAH BLAH!!
BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH!
BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH.
BLAH BLAH...
BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH.
BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH.
5475899
Don't mess whit the colorful little horses yo!
Get editors my friend! if you haven't found any yet talk to me.
Well, if he is going to cast magic I hope he will be able to apply his knowledge of a magic less reality, and how things work there, with somewhat ease, and have a really hard time with anything else.
5476297
I ain't mouthing off at something that can throw me through a wall with its mind, fo sho.
Interesting so far...
FINNA-FUCKIN-LY
So many stories where Twi almost kills a human and never gets punished. So many stories where that same human forgives her. Don't know about you, but I wouldn't instantly forgive someone who almost killed me so quickly.
FUUUUUUUUUUU
5590436 culture shock + no shits given attitude + a bit of "oops sorry, no harm right?" Type thing= an insane person (me) forgiving someone.
5475187 Grazing and browsing herbivores specifically. Gathering herbivores wouldn't have the nutrient bottleneck(caloric or protein-wise). Also note there are no(or at least not many) strict 'obligate herbivores'. -->IRL equines(and many other large ungulates) will happily scarf on very small birds and rodents at times.
Humans are also a bad example for protein efficiency: our bodies are very bad at breaking down a large number of plant proteins and we're not good at synthesizing curtain protein structures from basic amino acids or precursor proteins. Even compared to our current, closest primate relatives. This is a trait that forces us to taken more protein from more specific sources or suffer severe micro-diet deficiencies(it was passed on because the genetic defect was also from the same genetic lines that had greater intelligence).
Now couple that with our protein hungry brains...
I kind of find the played straight 'cartoon perfect' interpretation of the mlp world to be a bad fit for (thoughtful or semi-serious)HiEs. Dumping a (semi-)realistic human into that type of setting is, well, not the most useful or interesting contrast typically. It's like using The Simpsons, Futurama, or a Disney movie to depict humans when contrasting against something else(that is modeled more realistically or seriously).
5475102 would be more interesting if it was a large reserve, but ultimately finite. Making it possible running out a story point.
and i thought gay was sad last name, but his name is a slur for gay which is way worse
Hmm, human with powers. Nice
This has got to be one of the best lines in any HiE that I have read. Probably because every human would experience it at some point.
Princess Celestia's, the greatest donut shop in town. Make it to Celestia's what? Okay, please revise this sentence here. None of it makes any sense.
5765645 Dike means lesbian, doesn't it?
5938450 Dike actually means an artificial structure used to block waterflow (As in a river or at a sea outlet). And yes, it's used as a slur against lesbians considered masculine rather than feminine.
5765645 Such a family actually does exist.
Of course his last name would be dike...
That is actually the last name of a friend of mine,
And my teacher!
(Dike)
I've just started reading your story. What I am surprised about is that Andrew spent hours without going hungry or thirsty (and Luna for that matter). Will this be addressed later on?
Spiders and Magic anyone? Poor Pete has the same problem!
6569393 If your teacher is a woman, I'm going to laugh my happy little ass off.
Edit: Just looked that word up on urban dictionary. Y instead of I would make that ten times funnier.
A few issues with tenses and apostrophes, but not terrible.
There is a typo - miss calculation should be miscalculation.
Conflict...
Mmmmmmm.
I know which one I would be more concerned about. And let me tell you it has nothing to do with hoccus pocus.
Twi is just a fucking bitch, sometimes even more than rarity!
8495600
Miss Calulation sounds like an Equestrian Math Teacher. Her Cutie Mark should be an Abacus.
8631070
Bitch sometimes, yes; more than rarity, no.
"Oh, no! Something scary is looming over Luna! I'd better immediately escalate to lethal force and fire it in her general direction!"
Some one is in trouble
9762900
¿Será un tipo de educación clasista de unicornios? Recordemos que Starswirl es mundialmente reconocido mientras que sus compañeros eran material de leyendas.