Inner Demons
All that my father wanted was a bad daughter that had the same gifts as my mother. Of course, I had these gifts and I could be bad, but I just wanted to be normal, I didn't want to be like them, live there forever, invading the dreams of others and doing harm to people. Not that it was the worst place in the world, the lower world had some tricks, but it was not the best place to live: bad and evil people arrive there all day — sometimes father made a few mistakes and good people ended up staying there too — furthermore, there was the hellish heat. If you haven’t guessed yet, I’m talking about Tartarus itself.
It was there that I, Octavia Melody, would live if I were living the life that my father wanted for me. But, as I wanted to be different, things happened differently. When I showed my mother that I didn't want to break into the people’s dreams just to get energy from their sex, my father sent me to a psychologist. The psychologist was a pervert — I could see why he had ended up in Tartarus. My solution was to punch him in the face and get out of there, cursing. My father didn’t like this.
And then he decided that until I was bad enough, and had the courage to enter the dreams of others for energy, I would be banned forever from Tartarus. I almost smiled when he told me this, but that day I turned my back and left.
But I knew that even though my father was a hated creature to everyone on earth up above, he just wanted the best for me. I love him, and mother too. But I have to admit that I prefer to just be known just as Octavia, the cellist from Manehattan, or Tavi. I keep my demon succubus powers to myself.
And there was this detail… As you may have noted, my father, who everyone calls Lord Dante, is the king of all demons and Tartar. He meets every day with Faust to discuss who goes to heaven, and who goes to Tartarus; he isn't the one that’s bad. In fact, my father just does his job: putting the bad people in the right place. The problem is that people don’t like it, they just don’t like to face the consequences. Even I don’t like to, but that’s the real world… the real underworld, I mean.
And there’s my mother, Queen Eisheth. She is the queen of the succubi, which in the world of Equestria can be male or female and they can seduce both sexes. My mother has an amazing beauty, a soft voice that enchants anyone, and black eyes that penetrate your soul. She managed to teach me two things: how to disguise myself, hiding my original appearance of underworld creature, and how to control my powers of succubus. Those two things helped me a lot in the upper world.
You may think them obnoxious and bad, but they were never so with the people of the underworld. They are like their subjects, so Dad always treats them well, even giving free banquets when some important person arrives.
My father loved me. I was his only daughter, the only child born in hell. But I didn't like to be seen as the succubus princess and future queen of Tartarus — that was another reason to not be me when you’re living in the hell. Everyone sees you as an important figure, an amazing person. But the truth is that no one would want to take my place — no one would even want to live in Tartarus, or even go there.
The last time I saw my father face to face was the day after he banished me, the day I was leaving. Before teleporting me to the world above, he said that I would regret it, and there was still a chance to rethink my decision. But I just smiled, gave him a hug, and said "do it".
Since then, my life has been great in Equestria, the land up above. I completed my studies and joined the Manehattan Orchestra, since my mother had taught me how to play the cello. I’m very well known; I've even played with the orchestra for the princesses, Celestia and Luna. Well, there was once a ball where a crazy girl messed up everything, but that is in the past, yet none of us were paid that day.
Of course, the world above was not a utopia. There were evil, annoying, ridiculous, arrogant, and many other types of people. Many of these types would eventually go to my old address, Tartarus.
But the person who matters most here is Vinyl Scratch. We met in college, when I was still becoming accustomed to this place, but she never suspected anything. I hated her at first. She was rude, perverted, and her electronic music was noisy and annoying to a calm person like me. She was more like the people from my home than she was like me.
But as my roommate, I had no choice but to learn to love her. Of course, my initial goal was to love her in a friendly way. But Vinyl had a different side, that she began to show me after she realized that I was going to "love and tolerate the shit out of her" (as she so eloquently put it). She could be annoying at times, but she was sweet and kind to me when she wanted. Despite all the swear words, loud music and loud snoring, I discovered that I had started to love her.
At first, I panicked. How could I love that “creature”? Well, that's what many people still ask me to this day. Even I wonder how that happened. But I discovered another side to that DJ; she could be sweet and kind, and she had the best chest to rest my head on; she could be affectionate, funny and give you the best sex in the world. It was what every woman wanted.
I love her, I tolerate her, but I feel sorry for having to lie to her. I can’t tell her or show her what I really am. Of course, she would just say, “Wow, Tavi, that’s awesome! By the way, can you get me some tacos?” She wouldn’t care about the fact that I'm a demon half succubus banished from Tartarus because I’m not bad enough.
But I would not want to hurt her with my succubus skills. Of course, I choose not to use them. Still, Vinyl is stubborn, and would probably insist on me showing her. And it would not end well. I didn't want to kill my girlfriend.
And all this story brings me to here. I had a comfortable apartment in the north of Manehattan, the most elegant part of town, and lived with Vinyl. And last night was another one of those nights when Vinyl seemed to have an excess of energy and decided to spend it all on me; not that I didn’t like it, I loved it, but the next day was hard, even more for me.
I moved on the bed, opening my eyes and rubbed against Vinyl’s neck; she was sleeping like a log. Actually, she always slept like a log. I smiled and gave her a kiss on the neck, getting out from bed and putting on just my underwear and a pink robe.
I headed to the floor below, where a little black ball stared at me, waiting, sitting at the foot of the stairs. It was Wub Wub, a small dog from the streets that Vinyl had brought home a few weeks ago. She had give him a name. Despite my reluctance, she convinced me to let him stay here.
He barked at me with his thin bark and shook his little tail, wanting to play.
“No, Wub Wub, I can’t play: I’m going to make lunch now,” I said and he stopped jumping up. He blinked a few times to me before going off to deal with his toy, a pirate fox, that Vinyl had been bought by her father from a pizzeria when she was a child. Vinyl called it The Ol' Foxy, and the little dog loved to play with him.
I shook my head and went to the kitchen. I opened the windows, breathing and feeling the fresh air; it was very different from my old “house”. I decided to make waffles, one of my favorite foods. I think that might be because they were the first thing I ate when I got here. And they are so much better than the underworld food. There, we just drink hot sauce (demonic organisms can consume the hottest things without feeling anything) and eat pepper muffins and anything else made of pepper. It was the same sort of meal every day, so I was impressed when I tried the foods of my new home.
I heard a knock on the door, dropped the waffles, and went to answer it, with Wub Wub barking, thinking that he would be able to scare someone with his weak barks.
“Hello, Derpy,” I said with a friendly smile as I opened the door and saw the blonde woman dressed in her work uniform and a letter in her hand. “What are you doing here?”
“There’s a letter for you! Here! It looks important.”
I looked at the letter; there was no sender. “Wait, Derpy, who sent me that?”
“I don’t know, but I need to go now!” Derpy turned and ran straight into Thunderlane, dropping her bag full of letters on the floor and making the man frown, but he helped her pick everything up and received her usual excuse, "I just don’t know what went wrong!”
I shook my head and went inside, being watched by Wub Wub, who was sitting on the sofa with a innocent look.
Who could have sent me this? I thought before being surprised by a pair of hands being placed around my waist. I smiled as I felt the kiss on my neck. “You didn’t have enough last night, Vinyl?” I turned to her, receiving a smirk.
“I can never have enough of ‘ya, Tavi!” Vinyl said before pulling me in for a kiss, stroking my back and making me purr happily.
“Stop it! I know what you want!”
“Round 3?”
“Yes, that. But I’m too tired for it today, Vinyl,” I walked to the kitchen, followed by her.
“Okay, okay, Tavi, but ya’ know it’s hard to resist your buns,” she smirked and I punched her shoulder, before turning my attention back to the waffles. She looked at the letter that I had put in the table. “What’s that, Tavi?”
“I don’t know, Vinyl, but I’ll take a look.” I put the dishes of waffles on the table and then approached Vinyl, who was analyzing the piece of paper. “Give me!”
She gave it to me and I sat in a chair, opened the letter, and began to read. My eyes widened and I let the letter fall to the ground. “Oh no…”
It was from Eisheth, my mother. My parents were going to visit me.
The plural is Succubi.
Interesting concept! You have my attention !
Oh, you meant your Inner Demons. I thought it was cool as I have a story with the same name, but eh.
I'm gonna check yours out though. This looks really cool.
I FUCKING KNEW IT! I FUCKING KNEW IT! I KNEW THERE WAS SOMETHING WRONG IN HERE! FINALLY ITS HERE!!!
I think I'm going to enjoy this
Edit: I was right!
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I am going to love this. Great start.
A succubus is a type of demon, so the whole 'she's half demon that's also a succubus' bit is redundant. Also, holy run on sentences Batman. More periods and semicolons, less commas.
Honestly, just get an editor.
Wait, what was Octavia's mum called? Queen
I see a boss cover art. This'll be in read later for sure.
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Did you mean Tartarus?
Interesting start. Will see how this turns out.
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IT NEEDS MORE!
5722155 Wonder how many people thought of that when they read that(/those) line(s).
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The twist, Vinyl is also a vampire! The two dark queens of the night end up joining forces and conquering Equestria, bringing eternal night in a way Nightmare Moon never could! With sick rave parties!
Good ma'am I have a simple but serious request for you MOAR um that is if you can
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By making it up. lol I've been yelled at for making predictions like that before in the comments though so I made it hidden to avoid that again.
My interests have been sparked.
Nice, very nice.
need next chapter so good
Well, you definitely have a character for Octavia down, and you seem to have Vinyl's character portrayed pretty well through the results of her actions (like Wub Wub). You have a very interesting looking plot set up so far. I'm very interested in seeing where this goes.
My only gripe with this is the grammar. You got plenty of improperly used commas where you should have instead used periods, and you have a couple of points where what your characters are saying are being placed at the end of paragraphs rather than in their own like they should be.
should instead be formatted as
Still, the rest of your grammar is good enough that your errors don't interfere with my overall enjoyment of your story. If you could fix those errors, I'd enjoy it more, but I am still able to enjoy it as it is.
5722827 Nope nope nope, I had enough Vampire Vinyl. Thank you. (Really, I love My Rommate is a Vampire, Blood and some other Vampire Vinyl fics, but whe will change a little, shall we?)
5725401 I'll change that and try to improve Octavia's personality.
5724784 Good good.
5724959 5723246 Chapter one is already done! Vital will be editing it for me!
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Hey if it ain't broke don't fix it! :D Haha, yes it's a welcomed mix up. I wonder though what will come up if their lack of mutual immortality is ever mentioned though.
I actually had an idea for a story of this very subject. where Octavia never takes off her signature bowtie because a binding spell has been written on the inside, which allows her to keep a fairly normal human (or pony, if that's what you prefer) form.
This is such an amazing idea
ITS DERPY, YEAH
I'm hype for this story and mlp season 5 of course
Looks very interesting
Nice FNaF drop
Sure, I'll follow this! Great so far!
Fnaf Foxy the Pirate Fox
Yarr matey
Ps:i clearly dont make a good pirate
The refrences are attacking from evrywhere! They are like evry 10 lines!
5806821 Hehe, I LOVE to make references.
THE REFERENCES ARE EVERYWHERE!! I LOVE IT!!
Whats funny is just before I started reading I had just finished watching this, less then 30 seconds prior.
That FNAF reference could not have been better timed.
Love the Fnaf reference.
How did nobody get the Fo:E reference in here?
Oh, and Octavia might want to wash that Foxy plush. With Holy Water. Knowing FNaF, a dead fetus is inside it.
Succubi are among my favorite mythological creatures, almost assuredly due to some perverted part of my subconscious. This is so far the best-written story of yours, although I could easily presume there's an associated bias. However, I still caught a few examples of comma splicing, and I'm not sure quite of the accuracy of your depiction of succubi thus far. Given their mythological origins, there's naturally some amount of variability, but as far as I understand, succubi do not enter through dreams, kill their partners over time regardless of whether they want to, and are exclusively female (males are incubi-it's pretty much just the difference between actor and actress, but it still exists). Also, the leader of all succubi is (to my understanding) Lilith, the first wife of Adam.
Once again, the majority of that is just nitpicking, but, well...eh. Hardly matters. Still a good first chapter, and I'm fully intending to read the second.
Oh my Celestia YES. And that FNAF reference.
Nice Easter egg
Well, if my experience is anything to come by, she will look like a slightly redder version of herself with wings and a tail, completely naked safe for armor that doesn't protect anything vital.
Man, I'd hate to be the king of a deposit of impure potassium hydrogen tartrate formed during the fermentation of wine.