By chance, Pinkie Pie got a large package of strange magical valves into her possession. She had to try them out, only to realise, not only would they attach to the skin, but they allow for targeted, specific inflation.
5403357 I will have to confirm and verify the implications for the specific passage. If you are right(your suggestion makes more sense), I will make the required corrections. From the position of your reaction, you make perfect sense, the way you made it come out. Just takes a moment to find it in order to consider the changes. On the other hoof, a few minutes are worth the effort, in pursuit of the better story.
Edit: Two counts on the first sub-scene of chapter two corrected. Thanks for notifying me.
Is there any particular reason you consistently refer nipples as "nibbles," which is, in fact, a verb and so has no business on a pony's breasts unless they're into that sort of thing?
>It isn’t something I could deny you, unless I knew it would have unwanted or unpleasant consequences to either or both of us. For now, I have nothing that indicate towards it, so I will enjoy helping you! -She speaks like a dictionary or a bored university student... -_- Doesn't feel natural at all.
EDIT: The more I read, the more I get somewhat annoyed at HOW MUCH the writing is lengthy and not natural at all... It's like reading a formal speech written for an English class (but with some odd errors, like 'nibbles').
There IS a good idea under all this... but the writing makes reading it not a whole lot appealing, sadly.
Curiosity get 'piqued' not 'peeked', otherwise, MOAR!!!!
5403357 I will have to confirm and verify the implications for the specific passage.
If you are right(your suggestion makes more sense), I will make the required corrections.
From the position of your reaction, you make perfect sense, the way you made it come out.
Just takes a moment to find it in order to consider the changes.
On the other hoof, a few minutes are worth the effort, in pursuit of the better story.
Edit: Two counts on the first sub-scene of chapter two corrected.
Thanks for notifying me.
Is there any particular reason you consistently refer nipples as "nibbles," which is, in fact, a verb and so has no business on a pony's breasts unless they're into that sort of thing?
>It isn’t something I could deny you, unless I knew it would have unwanted or unpleasant consequences to either or both of us. For now, I have nothing that indicate towards it, so I will enjoy helping you!
-She speaks like a dictionary or a bored university student... -_- Doesn't feel natural at all.
EDIT:
The more I read, the more I get somewhat annoyed at HOW MUCH the writing is lengthy and not natural at all... It's like reading a formal speech written for an English class (but with some odd errors, like 'nibbles').
There IS a good idea under all this... but the writing makes reading it not a whole lot appealing, sadly.