Dash, N, Do

by ScarHoof

The Adventure Begins

We heard that the publisher of the Daring Do books lives out in the everfree forest. Yeah I've been there plenty before but it doesn't mean that it's not creepy as hell.
Me and ScarHoof Start Heading off into the everfree. As we head off I start getting a weird feeling, Like... I cant explain it. Like Something was watching us or somepony.

Well Whatever It would make sense to have that feeling, In the Everfree Forest especially. As we are following the coordinates Scar Starts acting.. 'Itchy' Like In the hyper way. From Experience I know that he either wants to say something, Or listen to music, or be just hyper. I quietly scoot over to him and tap him

"Be quite.." I whisper 'Try not to make noise"

He was rustling the bushes with his... wigglyness.

Once we get to the place it is just a trashed wooden home, like she had been robbed. We watch a pony with a hood and a strange hat go into the house, we followed them into the house. They turned around and took off her hood and hat then yelled "ROBBERS!"
It Was THE DARING DO!

"Were not robbers! We came to help!" Scar explained

"I don't need help!" She screamed at us. A bunch of stallions busted through the door a few seconds after Do Placed a large gold ring on a table. One of the 7 stallions bucked a chair into Scar.He hopped back up and rubbed his side then flew directly at the one that kicked the chair and bucked him square in the face crushing his skull killing him instantly. The rest of the Ponies went straight for me, I did a spin kick and knocked him out. The other 5 went after Daring Do, She jumped, turned around and bucked two of them in the face one hit with each hoof, she spun around allowing her back hooves on the ground, grabbed a chair and whacked a stallion in the face with it knocking him back into one of the others. The last one grabbed the ring and jumped out the back window nearest to the table and ran off.

Me and Scar were to petrified of her skill to say or do anything while she jumped out the window chasing down the run away stallion...

Author's Note:

Aww man! A cliffhanger!

Hueh Hueh Hueh.... I'm So evil arent I?

Comments

[Manes]

"Good, You woke up" :3 "Lets go check your mail to see if the book is there"

"Good, You woke up" :3

:3

You need an editor. Dash breaks the fourth wall and talks to the readers. Self insert Mary sue OC. Rainbow Dash is out of character. I expected her to insult how he lives or acts, instead she just talk to him and agrees with everything he says, no fighting back. You need built up, everything is happening too fast I'm left confused. She flies to his house, there for a couple seconds and suddenly she sleeps with him. One thing goes through my mind at that moment: Rape time :3!

So yeah editor, read well written fics and then come back to this.

[ScarHoof]

5352743 Have you read the backstory? My OC and dash have been friends since the first day of flight school/ her sonic rainboom, Plus that was my OC that broke the fourth wall and said good your up. Plus she slept in the guest room while My OC slept in his room. This is my second Fan Fic So please give me a chance. Plus the ":3" Face means Just the face that my OC made while speaking.

also the fact that she doesent fight is because my OC is dating le dash, plus i'm not good with other characters perspective stories. No rape none of that, my stories are clean.

[ScarHoof]

[Regis-Th3-Lesser]

This story is very rushed honestly I had to scroll back and forth just to get a grasp at what's going on, and another thing I know once your story is approved you can do whatever you please with it at least try to keep it above 1000 words. I've written essay response answers longer than your chapters

[ScarHoof]

5353241 The fact that Im 11 and brand new here, please stop hating on my slight grammer errors I did tell you that I was tired and I do weird things when I'm tired. >:/

[thechicken95]

5354647 kid, you gotta be 13 in order to sign up