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My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
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Twilight remember the bite marks!
Interesting story. There's so much mystery you just want to keep going.
I'm enjoying this so far. I like the mystery aspect, and I'm finding myself trying to come up with theories in my head about what comes next. Whatever direction you choose, I'm sure it will be intriguing.
I personally liked the short chapter style in the beginning of the story. It made it have more of that "I'm just starting out a journal" aspect, but I am really enjoying the evolution into longer chapters as well. (including the addendum) Overall, I like your writing style and your word choices. You pick up on the colloquial traits of each pony quite well. So far, I'm believing everything each pony says, and I'm on the edge of my seat waiting for the next installment.
5363381
Thanks!
The only reason I have (seemingly) abandoned much shorter chapters is that information is currently coming too quickly. I enjoyed writing the early part as well (I'm particularly proud of putting in a three-word chapter), but slow doesn't fit the story's progress at the present time.
5363127
Why isn't anyone buying Pinkie Pie's pod ponies theory?
Just kidding!
(maybe) damn I'm a tease
I'm glad slow doesn't fit at the present time. I'm eager for more.
very intriguing noir.
5363912
So... the plot thickens?
...yeah, I'm not above that brand of joke.
5364050 Your profile pic... grr...
I HATE THAT OBJECT!!! IT MAKES NO SENSE!!!
AGGGGGHHHH!!!!!
This is pretty much my reaction to this entry:
HMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM
so, fluttershy went to canterlot, spitfire got a hold of her, day or 2 later fluttershy goes to crystal empire, and gets a hold of cadance. comes home, then gets a hold of rarity. :X