Alex, a some what ordinary teen, had his whole life changed when he finds a young woman in the woods. Alex soon finds the young woman is not from his world, but is Fluttershy a pony from the show My Little Pony. And on top of that, Chrysalis is also let loose in his universe. The gates of the guardians have awoken. Can you show An Act of Kindness?
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My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
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I don't mean to sound rude, but do you understand sentence structure? I am sorry, but you do not capitalize the beginning of sentences, you don't have any spaces after a period (one in a story or 2 in essays, letters, and papers), and I have yet to actually read it, so i feel like an ass hole for saying stuff before reading.
515797 yeah im in the re editing process so don't feel bad i wanted it to get approved be for i even put more effort and i thank you for your criticism
515827 No, no, no. Effort first, then post. If you create awful first impressions, no one is going to want to read your story.
Ya dude, work on grammar and sentence structure. Lots of run ons here. Otherwise good job. Btw use more punctuation. Naice.
I like what you have so far the idea is good. Now you need to practice a little more at putting your ideas down on paper. You are almost there just keep trying and you will be good.
515847 i am posting your first paragraph with my edits, took about 3 minutes, if that. happy to help if you want it.
It was a day like any other. I would go to school, with the same boring classes, being friendly, and pretending that everything was alright. Then I would eat lunch, finish classes, and finally go home just to start the cycle all over again. I put on my jacket and headed to the bus, then I grabbed the fourth seat from the front because I always wanted to be the first one off.
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yeah this my first fiction so im still working on it ill make sure the next chapter is edited be for i post thank you all for your support
and i also finished the edit for the first chapter
Your attempt at fanfiction is masturbatory.
516228 LOL
what? 
im going to count that as a compliment
Damn Fluttershy is having fun with her breast XD
518748
Pretty cute gotta say humanXfluttershy may just surpass Flutterdash in my view keep up the good work
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thanks im glad you like it
518989
oh you XD
518748
i have decoded your emotes and i agree lol
I like this story keep up the good work
You just really need to work on spelling, punctuation, and grammar. Maybe get a proofreader. I might be interested. But otherwise I love this story! Mainly because Fluttershy is my favorite pony and she sounds seeexxxyy!!
I repeat. I think that you should first get a proof reader. Your content is great, but the grammar, spelling, and punctuation are a little lacking. I could do it if you want. Again love the story!
520602
well i already have a proof reader i just got him to help, but im glad you like the story so far though keep in mind its not a clop fiction
i just wanted to have an ecchi sort of feel kind of like some anime where the character trips and grabbed the girls boob that sort of thing and its not going to happen allot ,so yeah thanks for feed back and what not but i must attend to le chapter 3
this needs to turn into a clopfic or my face is gonna explode pwetty pwease
521324
Eh no.
d'awww! i would want to play with their hair too
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wouldn't we all
521381Thank YOU! i don't want that. There's too much clopfic on this site as there is.
Thats right new chapter
oh and here is a hint for the next chapter there will be some action(fighting,well mostly Alex will be running for his life) but its going to be big
Awww
For some reason I have a feeling Fluttershy is going to take him to Equestria to live with her so BRING ON SOME MORE!!!!!
521381 darn
well done.
546921 thanks chapter 4 should be out soon XD
its here
i hope you guys like my fancy art skills >.<
FLUTTERSHY NOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!
I noticed a lot of run on sentences, a bit of letters that should be capitalized. But above all, I liked it.
P.S. My name is Alex too. And I also like Fluttershy.
I know how you feel I can't write for crap. Do you know Jake in real life or is he just an internet buddy? If you do then your lucky to have a brony friend so close by that can edit your stories I can't post mine cause well as you said I'd get boo'ed off the stage. Can't wait for chapter 5 but in the mean time ON TO NUMBER 4!!!!
570070 I don't like her
I LOVE HER
Fluttershy has been kidnapped!?!? NNNNNNNOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
In regards to the authors note; DISREGARD ALL RESPONSIBILITY, AQUIRE PONIEZ!!!!!!!!!!
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that's awesome lol hi Alex
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lol yeah jakes my next door neighbor and he is my proof reader and editor Darkstar0z
and to all im glad you like it more will be comming soon.
575406Whoever hurts Fluttershy or does anything to her they will die by my cold fucking hands or hooves
Good job
hey guys im going to be a little late on the new chapter
i have some writers block and on top of that i have final's coming up soon
but i do have some good news chapter 5 and 6 will be in one complete chapter
all around because chapter 5 was to small and i needed to fill space other than that you should see the chapter around may 20-22
but until then bare with me thanks all
Ha Ha I found you!
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herrow my good friend
changeling shall cry
damn finals i keep trying to write well on the bright side 2 more days till summer then nothing can stop me from writing muwahaha
so close to finishing the chapter's 5/6 for you to enjoy and yes they are together
706262 XD
do moar for fluttershy
its here XD
Oh my damn when Fluttershy read the story Alex and the guy are connected I KNEW IT YEAH!!!!!!!
yep same here
And good job by the way
Thanks and heh sorry you had to wait for guys
next chapter will be amazing
