My idol posting a new story?

AUTO-READ 8D

I don't want to point out nitpicks. Not to my all time favorite author whose first story inspired me to write my own Fluttershy fic and sequel.

Unless you want me to that is...

I don't mind. This one isn't as serious as 'Harmony' so I'm not striving for perfection. Let me know if you like it, and what to change.

Wow, this story is really good.  i'm glad you're posting another story, as it can help deal with writer's blocks (If you have one)  Writing new stories can give you good ideas for future series or chapters.  And heres hoping we get to see Cadence in Finding Harmony.  I think Harmony and her would get along famously.

I was actually working on the new chapter to Harmony right after watching the finale and then I'm like.... I wanna write another fic! So Harmony is the one I will most concentrate on, but I'll work on this one in between. It shouldn't be too long and I'm glad you like it so far

really good

very good i am tracking this

Must have more!!!!!!

any who loved and hopes to see more soon

I refuse accept Cadence as an alicorn.  

It makes no sense.  There's no explanation.  It's an animation error!  Yeah, that's the ticket....  A recurring animation error that made it look like she had wings!  And now everyone else is blindly copying it, even though it made no sense.  Haha, it's funny!  

hey I think I explained her appearance as another alicorn pretty well in this story if you read it that is.... um... yeah

The only criticism I would offer is that you need to break up your paragraphs a little more.  For example, that one really big paragraph wher Cadance is explaining where she came from would benefit from being broken down into multiple smaller paragraphs that will make your narrative easier to follow.  I'll break it down for you.

...

When I was born in the marediteranean city of Roam in the region of Istalia, there was great celebration, as there always was when an alicorn was born to continue the great but dwindling race. I was also next in line for the crown of all of Equestria if ever Princess Celestia could no longer do her duty, but I didn’t think that would ever happen. I was protected as a commodity and hailed as the little princess of our small kingdom along with my parents who were duke and duchess respectively. And when I say protected, I mean I was shielded from any type of danger and therefore any freedom other ponies my age experienced. I had private tutors for my lessons, a nanny who structured every moment of my day so there was no time for me to play with other fillies or colts, and any time spent outdoors was with a royal guard or my parents during some sort of royal procession or dull garden party.

The only time I saw other ponies my age, or at least closer to my age then the royal court, was at these regal events, and even then they were just my cousins from other regions who I never had a chance to grow close to. They were all unicorn fillies and colts and they seemed to think I was stuck up or something just because I was one of the Sacred Alicorns.

Also, the so-called ‘Sacred Alicorns’ seemed to take longer to develop their magic then other unicorns so my cousins all could do complex spells while I was still struggling with levitating things. It didn’t help my popularity with them and things just got worse when a new alicorn prince was born and I even lost that which had made me special.

So, you see I was a lonely little filly when I was young. My parents both loved me, they tried to always be there for me even with their busy schedules, and they protected me not just as a Sacred Alicorn, but as their daughter, so I cannot say I never knew love, but I never really had a friend to play and share stories with. Another filly to tell secrets and have slumber parties with, or colt to gallop and wrestle with. Maybe that is why when my talent appeared it was to spread love to others. I had too much inside me that I hadn’t ever had the chance to give away.

...

Breaking it up makes the story easier to read since readers won't be turned off or confused by that great big wall of text there.  Otherwise, I think this story has a lot of potential and I look forward to what's coming next.

>>510877510877 Thanks for that. I don't have a pre-reader for this story, so there will be mistakes like that. It doesn't help that I always lose my formatting pasting to fimfiction I'll fix that up soon, thanks again

MORE!

I'm tracking this.

And yeah, the paragraphs are a bit long, but it's nothing I can't handle.

Prepare yourself for a track!

MOAR PONY!

I must say, I like the writing style and Princess Cadence is exactly how I thought she would be like. Please continue. I think the chapter was very well written overall, can't wait for MOAR!

Amazing chapter!   It really feels like the emotions are pouring out of my screen!  Can't wait for the next one!

>>513010513010 Tis my writing goal

Cute!!! I dont regret following this story at all!

  Keep up the great work!!!

I can't get enough of this! I think I may actually get cancer if you don't update this soon.

Very cheerful and legit sounding. It makes great sense that Cadence would learn from both of them along with Shining Armor just kinda appearing after some time. Or better yet, it would be interesting for Twilight to actually be the one to introduce them by having Cadence take her to the Royal Guard officer academy.

>>513078513078 You're close. He does show up quite unexpectedly.

>>513063513063 Aw, please don't say that. I lost my mom to that horrible disease... :(

I'm working on it now in any case.

>>513052513052 Glad you're enjoying :)

>>513102513102

Gah! Sorry!

But really though, something bad will happen.

No pressure or anything.

>>513102513102 my condolences.

Thank you :)

Awesome and keep up the great work!!!

nice chapter

This was very cute, seemed a bit rushed.  I shall track it to see were it goes.

This is very good. It may be the best backstory theory I've found. Everything sounds like it could be canon. Tracked!

moar pls

This is nice and you should feel good.

Watching, favoriting, all that jazz

aww. silly filly won't lift her nose from the book. tracked.

>>514939514939 Oh there's plenty more of Twilight being a reclusive brat. I wasn't going to let Cadence off that easy. This filly is gonna make her work. XD

Yaaaay! I made the likes 40! Now we just need 2 more...

I am quite enjoyign this so far!  I like how you portray Princess Celestia and knowing exactly what she's doing.  Something that many fic writers don't seem to do right.

"The filly’s blank look immediately turned into a toothy grin emitting a small squeaking sound that I would have found adorable if I didn’t have the strange suspicion she was mocking me in some way."

D'aawww...

"The heat beat down on my flanks from the particularly hot sun (thank you, auntie) in my struggle to catch up with the energetic young filly."

Lol.

"I grinned. “Gothcha.”"

I think that's a typo.  Just pointing it out.

Looking forward to the next chapter.

DAwwwwww! But I want mooooaaaarrr

Dat ending!

Wow, this is great!  I love little!Twilight.  In her defense, it's super annoying when you're trying to read and people keep talking to you . . . but on the other hand, clearly she needs to get out more!

I really feel for Cadence, too.  First virtually locked away due to being an alicorn, now assigned babysitting duties she never asked for.  

Our first try at playing together was going about as well as two ponies who had spent their lives in recluse could expect. Except for me that reclusiveness had been involuntary, and I was going to change that sad fate for this lonely little filly no matter what.

Seclusion is the word you're looking for in both these cases.

Otherwise, this is going real well.  >>

Filly Twilight is so adorable.

I don't know why this is so captivating.

Oh hell, I know exactly why.

“Well, if we don’t know one, we’ll just have to make one up.” I announced, not having any idea of what I was getting myself into.

“Make one up?” she asked, doubtfully.

“Sure. How hard can it be?”

As a Game Designer, this was my reaction:

Image: http://t.qkme.me/36721j.jpg

Cannot wait to see where this is going, I loved the backstory you gave to Cadance (and the Alicorns) probably the most believable and well developed fanon theories I've seen, looking forward to more chapters of this

I cried when I read this. Made me wish I had a cool babysitter like Cadence. Great job on the chapter.

*Le Sigh* You know the Pharmaceutical companies own my soul because  of the insulin debt right. right

..............Oh fuck it  DAWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW

This is such a cute story.  I will definitely read it to the end.

>>521884521884 Hey thanks for the help, but the word I did mean was 'recluse' it means a person (or filly pony in this case) who keeps to themselves. To be reclusive is the characterization of seclusion. Seclusion doesn't work as well for what I am trying to describe.

Glad everyone's enjoying it so far. With work being a pain this week the new chapter is taking longer but it will have Shining Armour finally so hope you can read it

Cute. Just cute. I was wondering how you'd introduce shining armor, and you did a pretty good job at it. Filly Twilight's just PRECIOUS though!

Edit: I am a 20 year old male and just referred to a cartoon pony as "precious" oh lord.

Ah, the old impact-induced-introduction.  What a classic way to start a relationship.  

Dat ending...

Image: http://i.imgur.com/icvei.jpg

Clonley tears were had this night. Thank you sir or madam.

I need more and fast! Don't make me call Angel Bunny!

hot damn that was adorable.

Twilight's goto hop, classic!

Poor Cadence has it bad already.

Interesting way of using the meet-cute.  Great job.

I know it's weird, but is anyone else shipping Shinibg Armor and Cadence?

:P

This is just too many cute. I can't wait for the next chapter.

So... Cadence bumps head to head with Shining while doing her full-on princess march, and then wants to try to hide the fact that she's a princess from him? Wouldn't he have noticed?

>>567405567405

He was too busy looking at something else?

Like her flank.

>>567580567580

Given his age group, I don't doubt it in the slightest

Keep 'em coming man, your story has been my only favorite update this week. I'm starting to get withdrawal symptoms

Just kidding But really, keep it up, this is getting really good

3 Pinkie emoticons in a single comment? Unbelievable (4 now!)

Hm that reminds me of an interview someone did with Marilyn Monroe. She was being relatively incognito and the interviewer asked her why nobody was recognizing her. She suggested a demonstration:

She stood tall, did her "cat walk" and was suddenly mobbed by fans.

I find your interpretation of Cadence's love spell quite interesting.  Keep this story up, it's very enjoyable.

Hmmm...

I am quite satisfied.

I am honestly surprised that more stories like this have not shown up yet (or at least I have not found them yet).  The story of how Shining Armour and Cadence met seems like it would be a gold mine of inspiration for fanfic writers.  I am glad that the story I found ended up being a very good read.

Love Love Love it !!!!!! Now I need more *best fluttershy impression* P-P-Please update soon because its really really good and I really want to see more..... If that's okay with you of course.

>>566617566617

Do not worry, this is normal.

Awwwwhhhh! <3

>>568414568414 Thank you! I really wanted to hear everyone's thoughts about the spell. I kind of based it on how every teenage girl feels but multiplied and made it sort of a curse on her because it causes her to get sick. It will show up later in the story for some drama too.

This story is stuck in my head and I work on it every chance I get. I was stuck in a cpr training class last Sunday and wrote it in a notebook in between demonstrations  (don't worry it was a re-certification class which I didn't need since I took it in September. I can still save my lil kid's lives.)

Work has been stressful lately so it got behind a bit but I'm sure the next chapter will be soon now that I have a full weekend again.

>>568371568371 That's funny to hear about Marilyn Monroe. I have Cadence do it just to show Twilight what its like to be mobbed, but that silly filly has fun with it.

Shining will dominate the next chapter now that he's home for the weekend. Please wait for it

ooh, like the new title cover! Did you make it yourself, or is it a gift?

It's a pic I found on the Cadence group on Deviantart and asked the artist to use it. Its called 'You two should get married' hehe. I don't have time to draw a proper cover, but I will eventually since I did Finding Harmony too.

>>570653570653

Maybe you should add the coverart's author in your description?

Also wonderful chapter. It's just what I was expecting out of you. Or from Cadence.

Image: http://dl.dropbox.com/u/31471793/FiMFiction/emoticons/shrug_Twilight_Sparkle.png

>>574779574779

Glad you like it. There is a source link right under the picture I added on the story setup page. My description is too detailed to ruin with a link so I'm happy Fimfiction has that option.

Finally, after slapping myself across the face for procrastinating against my own chapter updates for several hours, I found time to read every chapter up to now!

Very, very cute! A little straightforward, but still cute! Brings to thought my level of emotions whenever I was writing SHHA a while back, a feeling that has long since departed from the black, bottomless crook that is my social life within indirect proportion to the quality of my life on the Internet.

Overall, very. very cute! You write well, the emotions spread out just right to give us the sensible/sensual state of mind that just about every reader of romance craves!

>>575310575310 Glad you liked it. Can I ask what you mean by it being straightforward?

It is intentionally much differently written then Finding Harmony, with my old style from when I was 13 like Cadence is in the story. I used to always write young adult style stories and was inspired by diary-type stories like Georgia Nicolson's crazy diaries (you wouldn't know it unless you were a teenage girl in early 2000. )

Anyway, this was just the first meeting of Shining. There will be better scenes later.

Thank

So, this is your latest story, huh? . . . Absolutely and undeniably adorable. Filly Twilight is simply precious, Cadance is interesting to read about, and I think Shinning Armor might be marenip going by Cadance's reaction to seeing him. Cadance's power tough . . . Well, I'm going to be honest, I don't think there's any way for it to not come across as mind-rapey. This Cadance seems to at least have a tendency not to use it all willy-nilly all over the place.

I can't wait for future chapters. This really is good.

>>592910592910 Aw, I'm glad you like it. I found her power could be kind of like mind control too so I have her aware of that and she only uses it when she feels its right. It also hurts her so she mostly just runs away. She will use it later and explain that it doesn't really change anything, that the ponies need to work on their own problems. I've made that part of the spell a big part in the story now that I've fleshed out most of it in my little tiny notebook I carry around with me

The 1 person who dislike this is....

wait this ain't youtube

Is it you?

Not gonna lie your explanation and backstory for Cadence have become my headcannon, very plausible and this fic is very well written, looking forward to more chapters

>>604513604513 Actually, me too. And now that I've written the end out I can't really look at her the same, or I see scenes of her in the finale episode and wonder how they measure up. Haha, I feel like she's partly my character. Arrogant as it is... Glad you like it :)

Congrats my #1 favorite author! You've just earned the #4 spot on the featured box (even though it's temporary )

Very nice work!

Actually, I think Celestia going trolololol on occasion probably keeps her somewhat sane, especially when she has to look up every night at the moon and its reminder.

This story is playing out very well.  Ever since the Season 2 finale I have wanted to know more about Shining Armour and Cadence, probably because they were never referenced before.  I certainly hope that they will not be forgotten when Season 3 comes around.

A few nit-picky things:

You forgot to capitalize names of the constellations Aquila and Altair, along with misspelling Aquila as "aquilla."  Not a huge problem, but it still distracts me (I am a bit of a grammar Nazi.  My apologies).

Other than that, very nicely done.  I eagerly await the next chapter.

Absolutely awesome and your explanation has become my new head cannon and I can't wait to see more.

This is a very good story and I enjoy reading it.

very good! I MUST HAVE MOAR!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Now the waiting game...

and have a mustache

"Banged into him?"

Kuromi you are amazing

I'm glad this story is continuing. It's sweet how everything is coming together

The story is great, my only slightly confused factor is if they are kinda falling for each other already, why does it take 10+ years more to marry.

Love the backstory. Makes sense.

Definitely tracking this now. I'm a particular fan of Shining's parting one-liner. I don't even know why. So where will this story end? When they fall in love and become a couple? When Cadance accepts his proposal? Or will you go through the wedding from her perspective and finish after the honeymoon?

It will be a great read regardless.

Wow I was so excited for the feature last night and all my new readers and comments. Thanks everyone!

In answer to two of your questions which are similar I will take this story to an end point past their current age of 13 and 14 but I want it to be a surprise where it actually ends off. I have an explanation for the long wait in between marriage too.

And yeah, I know nothing about constellations, had to do some research on them and I guess I forgot to capitalize them. I really need a pre-reader... I didn't originally plan to have this story get so deep, but I'm having fun with it and Finding Harmony is really hard to write right now so... have this instead

My one issue with this fic is the lack of punctuatioon here and there: "In the taller Canterlot towers I was treated to a panoramic view of the starry sky but the first time I asked my aunt to join me in star gazing she said she could not and I felt a deep sadness from her so I could never bring it up again."

Save for the period, there isn't any punctuation of any kind.  Which it makes it awkward and hard to read.

Aside from that, "Not that I believe in [Trollestia], but she does like to mess with ponies if she knows something they don't."  I agree completely!

This story continues to be cute and fun.

Another awesome chapter :)

Awesome, love it.

FavoriteFavoriteFavoriteFavoriteFavoriteFavoriteFavorite!!!!

NOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

+ want moar.

Disneigh? You crossed the line bro.

>>610214610214 I didn't make it up. I read it somewhere. It makes sense though, right? Dis-neigh.

Anyway, I ponified Venice I can darn well work with a fairytale movies for fillies. Did you guys catch that? Equinice? That was product of me trying to figure out where the heck to make Cadence come from. My friend and I came up with Roam, Istalia is a name listed on some pony site, but Equinice is my little creation. My microsoft word hates these pony words

HUZZAH!

ANOTHER CHAPTER!

And ouch.

I waited all day for an update. The waiting nearly drove me mad. Mad! And now, there's an update. In 11:30 in luxemburg. And to make matters worse, its this one. I can't decide which is more important, sleep or ponies.