One of the few "clopfics" I've actually taken the time to read; figured I see what the hype was about. It is very well written with believable characters and interactions. It also has setups for some very interesting bits, such as what the foal is going to look like (I'm going to guess "Kill it with fire!" ugly) and Rainbow Blitz coming into the picture. I can just imagine him looking for stallion version A. K. Yearling after either a major delay of the book do to sexy times, or because the next book was borderline pornographic, only to find his hero in the clutches of his arch nemesis. Thinking on his hooves, Blitz will tackle Ahuizota, only to be tackled himself by an enraged Derring who demands who sent him after his heavily pregnant wife. I just hope the baby wasn't hurt. Anyway, here's an upvote.
5325339 thanks, but don't say that about the baby, Ahuizota might strangle you and Derring won't stop her. As for the Rainbow blitz, this is an AU and it was stated at the end of the fic (not the bonus) that Derring was going to write about his adventures, so it probably wouldn't happen. Plus he might write in a long romance arc between them in the books
5325395 No Blitz? That's a darn shame, it would have made for a fun arc. That being said, unless this AU doesn't have the Mane6 in it, I don't see why he can't pop up eventually. Does Derring still even write books in this universe? You said he does in your comment, but I can't remember if you mentioned it in-story and it does seem like something Ahuizota would write about in her diary. Anyways, even if you don't have Blitz meet up with them, it could be an interesting mini-chapter in which Derring's next book is all sappy and we get to see the various fan reactions, Blitz and Dusk's included. It would be extra funny because they would think the books are still fictional and wouldn't realize that what they read wasn't just a odd plot choice by the author. As for the baby, well, we've already seen what a male Ahuizotal looks like and, needless to say, it wasn't pretty. Add onto that the hybridization of pony and weird monkey-cat thing, and you have yourself a recipe for disaster. If Pokemon fusion art has taught us anything, it's that not everything mixes well. fc04.deviantart.net/fs71/f/2013/145/7/f/ratuk__pokemon_fusion_by_starvingstudents-d66kety.jpg
5325838 I stand somewhat corrected; this a very cute potential outcome, though things could still go south. That being said, if I was sent to Equestia and had to lose my human form, that's what I'd want to be. You get wings and a hand; how great is that!? Bit of a side-note, but the title kind of doesn't make sense to me. "Why Ancient Rituals Don't Always Work" suggests that the rings didn't do what they were suppose to when, in reality, they did what they were suppose to, just not what was expected. Also, though the outcome was not what Ahuizota wanted, it was what she needed and I think if you could ask her, she would agree that she much preferred what happened over what she had planned. Really, you'd think the title would be "How Misreading Text on Ancient Rituals can Lead to the Greatest Thing in Your Life" or something more condensed. Yet another side-note, Daring's Genderbent name doesn't actually need to be changed as Daring Do seems to fit both genders well, like Applejack. Derring doesn't make much sense as a pony name as I can't think of what word it's suppose to be. I suppose it could be short for Derringer, which is a small pocket pistol. Neither of these are complaints so much as they are observations. Figured I throw them out there for contemplations.
Bit of a side-note, but the title kind of doesn't make sense to me. "Why Ancient Rituals Don't Always Work" suggests that the rings didn't do what they were suppose to when, in reality, they did what they were suppose to, just not what was expected. Also, though the outcome was not what Ahuizota wanted, it was what she needed and I think if you could ask her, she would agree that she much preferred what happened over what she had planned. Really, you'd think the title would be "How Misreading Text on Ancient Rituals can Lead to the Greatest Thing in Your Life" or something more condensed.
While you are right about the first part, I have to disagree with the second. That title gives away too much of the plot and it doesn't roll off the tongue as well. Power of words, man.
Yet another side-note, Daring's Genderbent name doesn't actually need to be changed as Daring Do seems to fit both genders well, like Applejack. Derring doesn't make much sense as a pony name as I can't think of what word it's suppose to be. I suppose it could be short for Derringer, which is a small pocket pistol.
Heh, Actually, this is where your wrong. Derrring-do means behavior that requires courage. I kid you not it's a real word. Daring Do is a play off that, plus, people already associate it with the mare and I wanted to be distinct.
I really like this bonus chapter. It explores on how Ahuizota is struggling with such a big change with herself once she and Derring are together. And like how they confronted each other about it and how they resolve it together, especially on how they satisfy her need for the thrill in a more positive way.
Honestly, I don't completely get why people change the pony names when they're genderflipped. Very few pony names are gendered (Celestia and Luna being the obvious exceptions), and frankly, most of the fanon r63 names don't hold a candle to the original, in my opinion, with Dusk Shine taking the cake as a case of a poor name. And then of course they're weird and don't change Applejack's name even though that's the one with some of the more obvious genderflip possibilities...
However, the name flips in this story are both minor and natural. Derring is an almost unnoticeable change and Ahiizota is just charming (even if it's linguistically inaccurate XP).
Mhmmm! I love character development!
Author, you may have just taught me a few things on how to improve my own characters! And for that–
cdn.ebaumsworld.com/thumbs/2013/03/15/061648/83162408/smallthum.jpg
You got some talent!
Yea!!! More chapters!!!!
eeeeeeeeeeeeeee! kawaii desu yo!
Can't wait for more~! This pairing is so cute~!!!
Smile never left my face once while reading.
You are seriously making me a huge Ahuizota fan... And I love it!!!
5324531 He's really writing up a storm with this one, so a couple more aren't unlikely, but I can gurantee at least one more chapter.
When Ahuizota is in the restaurant is she in her form or is she in a disguise ?
They should totally have a heist stealing artifacts from illegal traffickers! This team would be unstoppable! Props to you friend!
This story still got Heists before GTA Online!
I liked this quite a bit, it had cute moments, and sad moments.
I want to be a thief!
Hmm... why not steal from the stealers?
keep it up!
One of the few "clopfics" I've actually taken the time to read; figured I see what the hype was about. It is very well written with believable characters and interactions. It also has setups for some very interesting bits, such as what the foal is going to look like (I'm going to guess "Kill it with fire!" ugly) and Rainbow Blitz coming into the picture.
I can just imagine him looking for stallion version A. K. Yearling after either a major delay of the book do to sexy times, or because the next book was borderline pornographic, only to find his hero in the clutches of his arch nemesis. Thinking on his hooves, Blitz will tackle Ahuizota, only to be tackled himself by an enraged Derring who demands who sent him after his heavily pregnant wife. I just hope the baby wasn't hurt.
Anyway, here's an upvote.
5325339 thanks, but don't say that about the baby, Ahuizota might strangle you and Derring won't stop her.
As for the Rainbow blitz, this is an AU and it was stated at the end of the fic (not the bonus) that Derring was going to write about his adventures, so it probably wouldn't happen. Plus he might write in a long romance arc between them in the books
5324983 I'd like to think she was in her natural form
5324337 Woohoo! Can't wait to see it in Lazarus
5325012 I have a couple ideas for the sequel
5324474
5324524
This is my OTP. Very few ships have this status from me.
5324531 pssh, I can't stop writing this. They're so cute together!
5324501 the only time I wasn't giggling like a mad man (or ) was during the sad part in Morals
5325395
No Blitz? That's a darn shame, it would have made for a fun arc. That being said, unless this AU doesn't have the Mane6 in it, I don't see why he can't pop up eventually. Does Derring still even write books in this universe? You said he does in your comment, but I can't remember if you mentioned it in-story and it does seem like something Ahuizota would write about in her diary. Anyways, even if you don't have Blitz meet up with them, it could be an interesting mini-chapter in which Derring's next book is all sappy and we get to see the various fan reactions, Blitz and Dusk's included. It would be extra funny because they would think the books are still fictional and wouldn't realize that what they read wasn't just a odd plot choice by the author.
As for the baby, well, we've already seen what a male Ahuizotal looks like and, needless to say, it wasn't pretty. Add onto that the hybridization of pony and weird monkey-cat thing, and you have yourself a recipe for disaster. If Pokemon fusion art has taught us anything, it's that not everything mixes well.
fc04.deviantart.net/fs71/f/2013/145/7/f/ratuk__pokemon_fusion_by_starvingstudents-d66kety.jpg
5325838 that is so cute!!!! Derring is gonna beat off them colts with his whip. I already know what Ahuizota is gonna say about dating
I thoroughly enjoyed this chapter, and like how they made up even though she went on a theft spree. I look forward to the next installment!
Wait!! I have a question!! Does Ahuizota's species have litters or 1 at a time? (depending on your head-canon)
5326195 Something something, they taste better with ketchup.
5325513 Also:
fc00.deviantart.net/fs71/f/2013/143/f/b/ponychoke_by_daloudstamps-d66ce9f.png
5325838
I stand somewhat corrected; this a very cute potential outcome, though things could still go south. That being said, if I was sent to Equestia and had to lose my human form, that's what I'd want to be. You get wings and a hand; how great is that!?
Bit of a side-note, but the title kind of doesn't make sense to me. "Why Ancient Rituals Don't Always Work" suggests that the rings didn't do what they were suppose to when, in reality, they did what they were suppose to, just not what was expected. Also, though the outcome was not what Ahuizota wanted, it was what she needed and I think if you could ask her, she would agree that she much preferred what happened over what she had planned. Really, you'd think the title would be "How Misreading Text on Ancient Rituals can Lead to the Greatest Thing in Your Life" or something more condensed.
Yet another side-note, Daring's Genderbent name doesn't actually need to be changed as Daring Do seems to fit both genders well, like Applejack. Derring doesn't make much sense as a pony name as I can't think of what word it's suppose to be. I suppose it could be short for Derringer, which is a small pocket pistol.
Neither of these are complaints so much as they are observations. Figured I throw them out there for contemplations.
5327444
While you are right about the first part, I have to disagree with the second. That title gives away too much of the plot and it doesn't roll off the tongue as well. Power of words, man.
Heh, Actually, this is where your wrong. Derrring-do means behavior that requires courage. I kid you not it's a real word. Daring Do is a play off that, plus, people already associate it with the mare and I wanted to be distinct.
I'm a Word wizard.
I really like this bonus chapter. It explores on how Ahuizota is struggling with such a big change with herself once she and Derring are together. And like how they confronted each other about it and how they resolve it together, especially on how they satisfy her need for the thrill in a more positive way.
I like how they're now like the sly cooper gang of thus universe, was that an intentional reference? Either way I love it.
5327444
5327916
Honestly, I don't completely get why people change the pony names when they're genderflipped. Very few pony names are gendered (Celestia and Luna being the obvious exceptions), and frankly, most of the fanon r63 names don't hold a candle to the original, in my opinion, with Dusk Shine taking the cake as a case of a poor name. And then of course they're weird and don't change Applejack's name even though that's the one with some of the more obvious genderflip possibilities...
However, the name flips in this story are both minor and natural. Derring is an almost unnoticeable change and Ahiizota is just charming (even if it's linguistically inaccurate XP).
But, I digress.
Very nice compremise
As always, communication is key!