The sun gleamed through the castle’s windows, its shining light revealing the half-awake Princess Celestia laying over the bed, bedsheets covering her entire body.
As the golden glow faded from her horn, the solar alicorn lifted the sheets from her body with a hoof. Rising from her bed slowly, Celestia mentally prepared herself for the long line of duties that she had for the day.
Sometimes I wish that the night would last longer, Celestia thought, walking towards her room’s bathroom. She turned the lights on with her magic. Maybe I’ll convince Luna to make the night a little longer; that would cheer her up a little, she thought, looking herself over in the mirror, noticing the lack of her usual bed-mane that most ponies had in the mornings.
Celestia sighed softly, reminding herself of the duties that she had for the day. “Those little perks of being royalty,” she muttered under her breath, turning on the water for her tub. As she waited for the water to warm up, she thought about the events of the past weeks.
Her former student and her sister had spent a lot of time together the last couple of weeks, partly because of their renewed friendship, and also because Luna was teaching Twilight how to use her newly discovered Alicorn magic.
“Something that I should be doing,” Celestia mumbled, traces of jealousy present in her voice. She wasn’t mad at Luna because she was tutoring Twilight, but she was still a little sad. Celestia had been Twilight’s teacher for so long; letting someone else teach her felt odd, to say the least.
“I guess we all have to grow up someday,” she thought aloud, stepping into the lukewarm water of her tub. Celestia laid there for a few minutes, just thinking, as the warm steam of the water misted the bathroom’s mirrors.
We all have to grow up someday… she thought once again, her eyes closed in deep meditation. Celestia had taught a lot of ponies through the years, each one of them leaving a mark in the monarch’s heart. Yes, she had had many students, but none of them were like Twilight. Celestia had raised Twilight since she was a little filly, when her eyes sparkled with curiosity and innocence, and she had grown much more than anyone else.
Thinking about her moments with Twilight always brought a smile to Celestia’s face. She had acted as a surrogate mother towards Twilight, who in turn brightened her days in the last agonizing years of Luna’s banishment.
Reflecting on that as well, Twilight had always reminded her of Luna. They were so alike: they both sought approbation from others, and they were quite reserved in their relationships. Yes, they shared a lot of qualities. Celestia flashed a small smile; they had even shared the same caregiver.
Celestia chuckled a little, remembering simpler times, long before the responsibility of running a kingdom fell upon their hooves. At the time, the raising of the sun and the moon still depended on the ancient ponies of Unicornia. She and Luna were still children, growing under the watchful eye of their teacher, the great Starswirl the Bearded. Celestia had raised Luna when she was still a teenager, and they had shared many beautiful moments as they grew up.
Luna had been a very hyperactive filly; more than once, Starswirl had to punish her for being so troublesome. Always playing, always laughing, and always smiling, Luna had always brightened their lives, even in moments of strife, like when their teacher had died. That was partly the reason why she represented the Element of Laughter: she always faced her troubles with a smile. Always… until she came.
Nightmare Moon, the evil that managed something that not even hundreds of years on the Equestrian throne managed to, had broken her. If only Celestia had been more helpful, she could have avoided Luna’s twisted fate— a thousand years trapped in the moon, with no company besides that demon that festered upon her sadness. That once bright and cheerful smile had changed into a scarred, forever-suspicious frown. Celestia would give everything to see that innocent smile one more time.
She exhaled deeply, opening her eyes slowly. Rising from the now cold water, Celestia picked up a towel with her magic, drying the water from her body. Time heals all wounds, after all, Celestia thought, as she left the wet towel in the bathroom’s sink, and so time will heal Luna. Time, and a lot of help— and she, as Luna’s sister, would provide as much help as she could along the way.
Celestia exited the bathroom, looking for her golden regalia. When she heard giggling down the hallway, she raised her brow in confusion. “Hmm, the castle visitors usually arrive later, so who is that?” the alicorn wondered, approaching the door to listen to the voices.
“Do you think she’s awake already?” a voice, probably that of a filly, asked.
“Of course she is. She has to raise the sun, after all,” a second, slightly more mature-sounding voice replied.
They are talking about me, then, Celestia thought, a confused expression in her face. “A guard’s daughters perhaps? I wasn’t aware that today was Bring Your Daughter to Work Day,” Celestia said, lighting her magic to open her chamber’s doors. She always liked seeing the sparkling look in foals’ eyes when they saw her. Some of them were plain ado…ra—
“Good morning, Mom!” The couple of fillies standing outside Celestia’s room greeted her happily, excitement present in their violet and blue eyes. Meanwhile, the mare they just called ‘Mom’ widened her own eyes in complete shock.
“Bu— Wha— Luna? T-Twilight?” Celestia stammered, her mask of composure disappearing completely.
The two little alicorns nodded excitedly, Twilight answering first. “Uh-huh, we woke up early, see? Luna didn’t want to get up and I had to drag her to the bathroom!” Twilight explained cheerfully, as Luna frowned at the lavender filly’s accusations.
“Did NOT! I wasn’t asleep, I just wanted you to carry me,” Luna replied, pawing the ground softly with her hoof.
Twilight shrugged off the explanation as she looked up towards her ‘mother’ with hopeful eyes.
“Mooom, you said that as soon as we were ready, we would leave for Sunset’s. We’re ready, so can we go now?” Twilight asked, staring intensely at Celestia with big, puppy-dog eyes, Luna imitating her motions.
Princess Celestia breathed heavily, her gaze traveling from one filly to the other. Was this some kind of prank? No, this was too far-fetched to be one of Luna’s mostly harmless pranks. Had Twilight messed up an age spell? Celestia backed away from the little alicorns, shaking her head in negation.
Luna, noticing Celestia’s distress, walked towards her. “Mom… A-Are you alright? You look a little pale,” she said with worry.
Celestia shook her head in confusion once more, before sitting down in her bed, raising her head a little to look at her new ‘daughters.’ “I-I’m alright, Luna… just a little confused, that’s all,” she said, glad that she could keep her voice steady during the exchange.
Luna cocked her head, puzzled. “Confused? Why’s that, Mom?” she asked. Celestia shivered at the word ‘mom.’
“There are just some odd things about this morning,” the ivory mare responded, before Twilight walked towards her and jumped, fluttering her little wings into the bed.
“Can we help you with something?” Twilight asked, approaching Celestia and looking up at her with worried eyes.
Celestia fought the urge to hug Twilight with her wing as she thought of her answer. “Well… yes, Twilight, you can help me with something. Could you please tell me what we did last night?” she asked, hoping that Twilight’s answer would help her figure out what was happening here.
The lavender filly thought for a second, before Luna answered for her. “We did what we always do,” she answered, walking to Celestia’s nightstand, where she picked up an old-looking book with her magic. “We had dinner, you tucked us into bed, then you read us a story and we went to sleep,” she said, showing the book to her ‘mother.’ Celestia picked it up with her own golden telekinesis.
Celestia read the title out loud. “Myths and Legends of Equestria, by Clover the Clever.” She then looked closely at her nightstand, noticing a couple of things that were definitely out of the ordinary. The first was a little mug made out of clay that spelled the word ‘mom’ with macaroni. The second was a picture of her with a younger Sunset Shimmer, standing in front of the castle gardens. The last thing was another suspicious picture, this one of her with a younger Cadance, smiling; the only thing odd about this picture was her abnormally round stomach.
Celestia put the picture frame back on the nightstand, dizziness attempting to overtake her. She breathed heavily a couple of times before assessing the situation. Okay, so… I’m a mother, Twilight and Luna are my daughters, and my faithful student is Sunset Shimmer once again… She tried to regain her composure before exhaling one last time and fainting over her bed. The last thing she heard before falling unconscious was the frightened shouting of her ‘daughters.’
“Moooooom!”
Very very amusing.I'm curious what caused luna and twilight to turn into fillies.Update soon
very interesting story. I like the idea.
If you want I can edit this, other than that I love where the story is going especially how you added sunset shimmer in, I dont think I have seen many other people do that.
Honestly I have no idea how people like you can come up with such creative ideas. I've been trying to write my pun fanfic for weeks but it always ends up being incredibly boring or it's way to similar to somebody else's story to be considered original. I like this and I'm eager to find out where you take it
Hope there is more soon I so LOVE this story
Oh i hope they never find a solution fpr their little cute problem there
Really nice, befor i had read this story i never thougth i would like it so much.
If they really are going to be her new Children, i would love to read more.
Like i said i would prefer it if they maybe have to stay in their current form and well befor i ask for a sequel again i just wait how the story proceed. If i like something i ask always to soon for a sequel, but if i be honest it looks more like a story which could work with many sequels for their different ages, i mean i don´t know if maybe even Discord is bad again. somehow it remembers me about another story i had read for a while.
In the story there were one student for every princess and many new problems, in the third sequel the new student´s where adults and (well that was the point i stopped to read it, because the story somehow messed something up for me, i don´t rememer what it was.)
Aw, poor Celly.
Don't worry, a nice bout of snuggling should fix you right up. Get her girls!
Interesting... I like it so far. With the next chapter I will decide if I give a Fav.
Way mega adorable. Comment and Upvoted for now.
teach
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Missing end punctuation.
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those
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End '
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wrap in ' '.
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italicise.
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Stopped reading here.
You are missing punctuation 95% of all dialog. Missing " and '. Lack of italicization, and even non dialog is missing punctuation. After this chapter is fixed. Please let me know I want to enjoy this fic. But it's so full of errors. Can't read a few lines without seeing something that is missing.
5257976 I know, I do not have an editor at the moment, but thank you anyways for pointing out the mistakes, I'm going to correct them right away
5257984
You're selcome. So far the only real problems are the ones listed. Missing punctuation, and forgetting to italicize. I'll tell you what. Can't really edit myself since my tablet is all kinds of wonky at random moments. But I'll give you a list of amazing editors I know, or know in passing.
http://www.fimfiction.net/user/Kingtiger666 [My main non-clop, non-L!Verse editor. Awesome brony, wonderful editor, and super cool person.]
http://www.fimfiction.net/user/Level+Dasher {Editor for some of my favorite fics. And for one of my favorite Authors [http://www.fimfiction.net/user/Anonymoose].
and
of course you could always do Overly Extensive Editors group.
_________
That said if you can at least fix the dialog tags and punctuation. I'll PM you with chapter fixes if you'd rather those be kept out of the comment box. All in all, nice fic and best of luck.
5258318 Thank you for being so kind, I'm totally going to use that list you gave me!!
5258436
You're welcome . Let me know when the chapter's ready and I'll give you a more fuller reveiw, and I look forward to seeing the touched up chapters. Since so far this has potential to be quite an adorable dawabetus inducing fic. With a really interesting premise ^_^.
Interesting. I find I like the idea of this. Going into the fav folder.
discord? bad Mexican takeout, bad Chinese takeout?
Please continue.
love the story, cant wait to read more
I thought she'd wake up pregnant with the two.
Twas funny, I'm eager to see where this goes.
This is... interesting. May the wind blow against your back.
Looks interesting. I'm wondering if Twilight botched the spell and it only affected Celestia or if it affected the whole world.
Looking forward to updates!
Nice this story has my interest
this is going to be a very cute story in a chaotic sort of way i'm very interested i look forward to you next chapter
Oh beast core this is funny. I see a simularity to the mlp loops here and I think this is loop worthy. I'm going to see if the guys on space battles agree with me.
Man, do I love me some good Momlestia.
LOL LOVE IT hope to read more soon
Why do I have the feeling that Discord had something to do with this
5261637 Because there is a discord tag loll
I like it--but you have a huge problem with run-on sentences and comma splices.
The cuteness meter! It's over 9000!
derpicdn.net/img/2014/10/14/742738/large.jpeg
Update it now I love it too much
May I offer a suggestion? I think you should mark this as "alternate universe". At least, Depending on what has been written so far.
Actually, This story premise is a little of a grey area.
that shouldn't be a problem
Could be a good story, but I am not sure. This really is in desperate need of an editor, or proofreader.
There are some crazy tenses all over the place, some weird spelling.
Oh, and some crazy confusion on Celestia's part… because some of the gender pronouns are all over the place. Did Celestia grow a penis between getting into the tub and getting out?
Definitely would suggest trying to find an editor for this.
-Moose
Well, this is an interesting premise. Go on.
Please add more.. I like where this is going. Is it a dream or reality? Oh what a wonderful dream it could be though.
Well then, this seems interesting, you have my attention now.
interesting, I want to the nest
... You have my attention.
I concur with Alistairmir77.
Updates are required, please? Or all your data are belong to us.
Update now please
Me likey. I'd love to see what happens next. Please update soon, but don't rush yourself.
5290390 Don't you worry, according to my little schedule, the second chapter is due for 21/11!!
5290565 okie dokie lokie.
5290565
Ah, it seems we have a European author among us! Your date designation system has given you away! That would explain a lot, actually.
I am enjoying the story, except for its strong need for a proofreader (as has been stated in previous comments). The mistakes are the kind that will slip right past a spellchecker, but getting a human who speaks English natively to read them would get rid of the most troubling errors quite quickly.
Well, off to read the next chapter...
well, grammar spelling and what not aside, an interesting start. maybe celestia cast the spell mentioned in her sleep, or whilst she was in the bath?
Edited?
i.imgur.com/O3uk8EX.png
For shame, Level Dasher. For shame.
(love you, really!)
While an interesting premise, and not technically written erroneously, this needs a lot of work. The writing is generally bulky, containing many excess words and statements that simply don't need to be there. You write down much of what could simply be left for the reader to understand on instinct. This is a complicated and advanced writing technique however, so I don't expect you to get it right away.
A small example of where you needlessly state things is in your dialogue or character thoughts where you write, 'she said/mumbled/thought/answered/asked/ect." every time. Generally, it's pretty obvious to a reader who is speaking, and this is especially true once you've already had a character say something in a paragraph. Since a new speaker requires a new paragraph, you don't have to say 'she said' every time they stop and start speaking again within a paragraph.
Now watch what this:
Bam! See how such a small change can help this sentence flow better? And there are a lot of these sorts of tweaks that can be made throughout this story.
Anyway, this is better written than most stories around here, so I'll read more of it once you've gotten a little further.
5773995 As the editor, I'd like to give you a response— any feedback is greatly welcomed for both of our benefits.
You make a great point with the excess verbs of communication. The example you gave was the perfect one to use— we may go back through the chapter and use your version instead (we've only edited chapter 1 so far, so hopefully the later ones will be cleaner). I have covered the 'new speaker = new paragraph' rule in the editing process, but excess VOC usage isn't something I've been very strict about unless it's used for literally EVERY line of dialogue. Thank you for bringing that up— we'll keep it in mind as we progress.
In terms of this comment:
That's a very good point, but after working with numerous writers, I've found that some prefer to paint a very specific picture instead of leaving it up to the reader to paint it themselves. Some writers really take 'show, don't tell' to heart. Since I'm not really the strictest of editors, I leave it up to them (besides, it's their writing style, not mine), but I do try to help them make the 'show' less 'tell-y.'
If and when you come back, any other feedback you have to give would be appreciated.