Hallow-Hooker-Weeners

by WarriorOfTwilightSparkle

I saw you hit on that green sexy lady get outta here and my lover cheated on me!!!

Spike was driving his truck down town to Sweet Apple Acres. He had his hose between is legs thinking of the sexy old green lady named Granny Smith. He licked his lips at the thought of him Granny Smith getting some in his truck. He also bought a new sexy pair of thongs for both him and Granny Smith.

Once he got down to Sweet Apple Acres he saw Granny Smith wearing a specific sexy black bikini. In his head he was like, oh damn, that is one fine ass lady. He got out of his truck right then and there to touch the lady. He originally was planing only to do some business with Applejack.

"Howdy partner, looking at my flank aren't ya, baby?" Granny Smith smith said shaking her booty cheeks. They were all slapping every where. This gave Spike a sexy idea. He was going to spank the glorious booty. "Oh damn, boy what ya waiting fur? How about you get down your tail and spank these babies!" Granny Smith yelled, shaking it.

"Girl that booty more fine than Thomas the Train!" Spike licked his lip. He then crawled over on his sexy ass claws like a wild baby to Granny. Then he said his cheeisest pick up line, "If you were a booger I would pick you first!" Granny Smith's butt cheek's blushed so hard. Within a blink of the eye he was all over frickin and fracking Applejack's grandma.

"Oh, baby you know this will be our second time!" Granny Smith said. Pipisqeauk then came out of nowhere in the orchard that they were in. Pipsqeauk's eyes shrunk when he saw Spike on top of Granny Smith. Pipisqeauk then runs over like a badass and pushes Spike off of Granny Smith.

"Baby! I thought you were saving it for me!" Pipsqueak said, crying his eyes out. He then says, "Baby, I love you more than all the brocolli in the world!" He says in his most manly voice ever. Spike then has the balls to do shit to the little guy. Oh hell no! Like some bitch was gonna up all in Granny Smith's ass which he owned.

Discord then showed up. He was more pissed off than anything when he saw two gay men gay wrestling. What it looked like to him since Pipsqqeak was all up in Spike's garage. Discord then after then brings popcorn watching the show. He is not aware that his lover Pipsqueak wants another manly women rather than him.

"Oh, dang let's fight! Who ever wins gets to love Granny Smith!" Pipsquek put em up, and jumped in Spike's face. Discord spat out his water not believing that his boyfriiend was cheating on him.

"Hey, boyfriend come here and gimmie a big kiss you cheater!" Discord throws popcorn at Pipsqueak. How could he have done this to him. Discord was gonna have a baby shower until this! And Spike then grabbed Granny Smith by the waist. He started taking her to his truck and drove away. Pipsquek was pissed off, but then he had a annoying whinny prengat Discord on him all yelling.

"Dang girl, I didn't know y'all was here!" Pipsqueak said, sounding like Justin Bebeir. After all that it goes silent then Nightmare moon comes in and... and traps them in a dream bubble!

"Listen, y'all this it is Halloween! I was watching this show of Granny the hooker and it not making any sense!" She said in manly voice. Pipsqueak landed on Discord's ass when she yelled on them. DIscord moaned like a babe when this happened. "Y'all this ain't make sense I wanna see the real show! The fillies and colts got all scared from y'all fracking around with Granny Smith."

---

After that Discord and Pipsqueak was on a date tricker treating for love. "Omg, it is Halloween let's save Halloween!" Discord said as he saw Granny Smith giving a lapdance to Discord. All the fillies and colt's were scarred for life after seeing it go down. But! But, one of them was turned on and had a nose bleed as well! And that filly was Pipsqueak.

The tables have turned for Discord. He was more pissed off than ever. How could his lady cheat on him like this! He was the one who should have given him it. This was Halloween after all! He couldn't believe that he was cheated on in Halloween! So he did what any crazy awesome sauce draconequesss would do and that his attempt to pick a fight with Granny Smith!
?
"Listen you big old fat green piece of shit, what the hell do you think you're doing?! Pipsqueak is MY lover! Can't you see that he LOVES ME and not you!" Discord screamed, snapping his fingers. He made it rain pop tarts on her ass. Oh, he was so damned pissed off at this shit. Ain't no old bitch gonna ruin his halloween. Espeically one dressed like a hooker on Halloween. Hell Discord was a banana for this Halloween! He had to bring his inner sexiness to win his boyfriend's love. This shit can't happen when these bitches take his place.

"Oh, deerie, I don't want your gay bitchy boyfriend I already got sweet little Spikey here, ain't that right sugarcube?" Granny asked nuzzling him. Spike the firefighter blushed. Because he was a firefighter this Halloween and it made Granny Smith so wet that they were gonna fuck good tonight. Discord cried his eyeballs out of happiness from hearing this! Yes finally he can love!

Pipsqueak and Discord made out in front of them then because of their happy endings.

"Happy, Hallow-Hooker-Weeners!" Granny Smith yelled, running off with Spike into the back. Some fucking gonna go down tonight with these bitches. And everyone lived happily ever after happy! The end!

Comments

[WarriorOfTwilightSparkle]

HOLY SHIT I LOVE YOU AUTHOR BEST STORY EVER MADE

[WarriorOfTwilightSparkle]

DAMN YOUR SO SEXY AT WRITING

[WarriorOfTwilightSparkle]

5279258
5279255 WOAH, WOAH, HOLY FUCK YALL STOP!!! I KNOW I AM AMAZING THANKS!!!

[The Guardian and Friends]

So this is what you've been doing this whole time, eh, Shallow?

I'm ashamed of you for writing such a terrible trollfic.

[WarriorOfTwilightSparkle]

5279560 Lol, no I have been doing other things. I just made this under a hour with my people. Lol, this is what I do what did you expect something serious XD

[The Guardian and Friends]

5279570

You can write better. Not be obligated to this shit

[WarriorOfTwilightSparkle]

5279577 I know, but I just wanted to get a laugh. I like to write shitty stories too lol.

[Manes]

Yes I'm mad. Damn even the coverart has a error.

[KrishnaKarnak]

I've been waiting for this fic all my life.

[TurboTheGameGuy]

TROLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOL!!!!!!!

[kawaiibaconshark02]

omg lol this is a fab story man trollolololol awesome troll fic

[WarriorOfTwilightSparkle]

5279772 ur face has a error

[WarriorOfTwilightSparkle]

5280601 i been waiting for u all pmy life babeh

[HACKER WARNING]

5304210 my beginning role made this a true troll fic XD

[WarriorOfTwilightSparkle]

5310119 damn right

[Sunshine glitter]

This was best story. Liek if u cri evrytiem it was a bootyful fanfic

[SiIver Spoon]

cdn.memegenerator.net/instances/500x/43182099.jpg

[Pretentious Narwhal]

Without a doubt the best story on this site.

[BenjaminHad]

Ahh, the whole thing does feel like moral posturing that even Celestia herself probaly doesn't believe, no matter how hard she tries to convince herself.

Some called her soft, of course they did. They didn’t understand the burden of what she held back every day. How could they? It was only if they were in her position that they would ever understand. In the back of her mind, on rare occasions, she thought about just once letting her full power be on display. Though those thoughts were quickly quelled. No. They’d be frightened of her, and justifiably so. So they never learned of the full power that their Princess truly possessed.

So first Celestia determines that strongarming people into submitting to you is bad...thats nice.

“Glad you asked, allow me to give the nation our address. “This is a call-out to the shadow cabinets, petty dictators and all-around tossers of the world. You're on notice. We're not bound by lines on a map or political alliances or government bodies of any kind. We are our own bosses, and we have a very simple job. There are the good guys, namely us, and the bad guys, namely anyone who treats anyone else like trash to further their petty aims. We turn bad guys into memories. So mind your manners, boys and girls, or we'll blow your house down. We’re the Next Step. You asked for us, world. Now you got us.”

She decides that these people the next step are bad people BECAUSE they do exactly the thing she rebukes in the earlier quote (but we know she privately considers) both in terms of insitigating fear and causing harm.

“You said it yourself, the new order,” Daybreaker laughed cruelly and Gale’s insides chilled. “Look, up in the sky. It’s your new savior, Daybreaker and ruler of all that is. I want to ask you something, how does it feel to be deconstructed?”

She does EXACTLY what she intially she rebukes by putting on display her full powers and instigsting fear in him to prove her point.....

"A lesser ruler might have used that power to keep their subjects in line, rule not by gentle wisdom but terror and fear of reprisal. *insert name of hypocritical person* honestly pitied those who had to stoop to such unsavory means. They were not worthy of their titles. Perhaps, with some gentle instruction, they might one day be. Worthy to join her and her subjects in the sun. Celestia crushed those traitorous Next Step Bastards as soon as they came"

So is the take away from this story that Celestia was actually wrong?
Despite arguing in an effort to seemingly convince herself that the use of power is not the pathway to a better society, after she loses the support of her people she ultimately decides to solve her problem by resorting to....oh right i don't need to finish that sentence.
And before some IDIOT says something like she was only displaying her power and inciting fear (which she openly rebukes doing but whatever) in order to prove her point that its a bad way to do things...consider what gale himself says..

“You don’t like it, you can do this on your own time. Try and reform the next batch, that’s what you do right?” Gale Force laughed. “But I’m going to tell you right now, what you want isn’t always what you’re going to get. Not all ponies will be receptive to this kind of thing.”

Ironic for both of them really, gale was the non receptive pony when Celestia confronted him.
But to ultimately solve the problem...she did it Gale's way.
The ends justify the means?
Was she justified in scaring Gale with threats or murder and other such for the sake of redeeming him?

I enjoyed this story alot...because it really makes you ask yourself at the end who truly won.
Despite celestia holding all the power, how has she shown herself to use it?

Eternal imprisonment in stone, and we know discord never had a genuine choice once he got out.

Of course many would argue over what she did to Luna sending her away to the moon for a thousand years.

And finally Gale.

When i ask myself whose idealogy won out..well i geuss thats up to the reader.

But i will make this quote to let you know what i think.

“Glad you asked, allow me to give the nation my address!” she commented before charming her voice so that all of Canterlot could hear. Orbs floated around her, broadcasting footage to everywhere else. “This is a call-out to the shadow cabinets, petty dictators and all-around tossers of the world. You're on notice. I am not bound by any law or government, I AM THE GOVERNMENT. I am my own boss, and I have a very simple job. There are the good guys, namely whoever agrees with my idealogy, and the bad guys, namely anyone who treats anyone else like trash to further their petty aims or disagrees with me on the subject of morality which i myself tacitly admit is grey and seemingly relatavistic evidenced by my apparent use of fear tactics by threat of murder,desire to control the thoughts of my nation to be homogenous to my own, use of outrageous punishments which are likely to be worse than death and presenting the false dichotomy of a choice between right and wrong after said punishment, but in actuality is merely 'my way or eternal torture' . I turn bad guys into memories. So mind your manners, boys and girls, or I'll engage in the tactics earlier mentioned or emotional manipulation. I am Celestia. You never asked me for since you didn't have a choice world. Now you got me.”